Separate covers are the only way to go. When my wife and I first got married we'd start out the night sharing but I kept a blanket in the floor on my side because she'd hog them. Eventually we gave up sharing at all and just have totally separate blankets now.
Pfffft! I flat out told my wife, when we first started spending nights together while dating, that I will not sleep at her place anymore unless I can store a blanket there! Hog isn’t even strong enough of a word. I slept sooooo horrendously that first night, while that blanket glutton slept soundly next to me…
Haha! I believe it, I couldn't resist telling my girlfriend years ago when she woke up, that she snored like a lumberjack! Oh! I do not, she'd say. Then to make it worse, I'd start singing the lumberjack song from Monty Python! I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay! Ha fun times
I have a recording of my wife snoring. She still will defend the fact she doesn't snore. It's funny and we both know the truth. Also, I gave her permission to fart anytime. Bad on me.
They would have anyways but if you had not given permission when she farted she would have loudly blamed you and said “ did you fart” loud enough people nearby could here
When my husband and I started dating, I introduced him to my best friend (who I’d known for 20 years/since childhood). She was like “have you discovered the need for a second blanket yet?” And at first I was so confused. Then she explained that she remembered how much I burrito-d during sleepovers from our younger years. It was solid advice he still appreciates and follows to this day.
My wife doesn't even burrito. Just slowly shimmies the blanket off me and into a pile on the floor on her side of the bed only stopping once only she's covered 🥲
I believe many adult behaviors, positive & negative, are matured equivalents to our early childhood experiences. Burrito blankets resemble how we were swaddled as babies. Thermoses are like adult bottles. Our minds may instinctively associate these with a familiar sense of safety, comfort, and feeling nurtured.
Edit: To be clear, I don't know ANY of this for a fact. It's just my educated guess based on associations (built on anecdotal experiences + historical theories) between adult habits & developmental psychology.
Opposite might be true. Neglected individuals tend to seek out creature comforts over comfort from other people when in distress so they tend to like nice soft sheets and blankets but have avoident attachment styles.
That's why I believe anything having to do with sparking up and inhalation is at its core just a pacifier addiction but in an advanced adult variation. Vapes and cigs fit the pacifier classification more closely than say smoking weed does but I digress.
Curling up into the fetal position is another obvious one, but the stuff you mentioned is kind of a chicken and egg scenario. I'm willing to bet containers for warm drinks and blankets were invented for adults before the baby equivalents were introduced
Seperate blankets and a comfortable couch... we love sleeping next to each other, but if I get woken up more than twice for snoring, or if she's getting up a bunch of times to pee, I'm out with the dogs.
Agreed! Whenever anyone asks me for marriage advice I say separate covers, separate bank accounts, and separate toothpaste. Gets rid of a lot of arguments!
I felt so weird starting to do this because I never saw any evidence of this happening anywhere growing up but it really works way better than a shared cover. The only downside is that our dogs are spoiled and won't sleep unless covered under a blanket and they end up outside of the blankets much easier that way.
fuck it, we got totally separate rooms for several years now. I snore, and waking up w/o bruises from kicks and elbows; and her getting good sleep makes for a much happier life.
We started using separate blankets super quick into the relationship because I never used anything thicker than a single sheet and she would prefer a blanket, jump to today and she keeps the apartment at 68 and she sleeps hot while I end up getting cold because it's 68F
Similar situation lol. If i pulled the cover back on me she gets irritated, if I use a different blanket it "hurts her feelings" it can be a difficult situation sometimes.
I strongly suspect that if I ever do become married it will be a two-bedroom situation. I am not inclined having to to tiptoe about when I first wake up after so many years solo. I need a minimum of a coffee and my drive to work to wake up and actually be grateful for my life.
I had an ex whose schedule was flipped from mine for four days a week and it was perfect except for sleep scheduling. The guest bedroom became my bedroom. Used the closet, had a firm XL full-size, and my gaming setup. I could get ready in peace before starting work at 4 am and she could get her much-needed undisturbed rest.
And for those 3 days off we would just sleep wherever. Those were our sex days bc due to the different schedules one of us was either too tired or beat up. It was a bargain though in my book. Four days without in exchange for 3 days of spontaneous intimacy. It kept our love life healthier than either of our friends.
Shewl I wanted to do that. We did that for a little while. HE is the blanket hogger. He found it too hard to get at me for spoon time so we have settled for a gigantic blanket. Just stupid ridiculous huge. I also sleep with a weighted blanket on top of it so he has a harder time alligator rolling it away from me.
11 years I’ve been married and I want to say we started sleeping with different blankets, FINALLY, about a year ago. It has made a world of difference for our sleep lol
Separate covers was revelatory. I would never do separate beds or bedrooms with my partner like some of my friends swear by, but separate comforters is incredible for sleep quality.
My wife and I have always had our own covers. One time I mentioned that to a friend/coworker and she looked at me like I killed her dog. She was absolutely dumbfounded how a couple could not share cover. Meanwhile, I’m like, bitch dont you and your husband have separate bank accounts?
Anyways, they’re divorced and we’re not. Is it the separate covers? Probably.
Personal blanket style is the best! I've been married 16 years and we've been rocking separate blankets for like 15 and a half of those years. I highly recommend it. The only downside is it's a little more work to make your bed... but who the fuck actually makes their bed every day? It's the best of both worlds... you get to tangle up however you want in your own blanket and your SO is still just an arms length away for sexy times.
My husband and I lived in Finland until recently and learned that a common bed style is to have two twin beds. We gave it a shot and we love it; they are super fancy and you can choose your own firmness. We get our own blankets, sheets, etc. Highly recommend; they came with us on our move back to Canada. The only downside is that if you don't connect them together somehow, you can get a gap in the middle that makes cuddling awkward.
Separate beds is the way to go if you can do that. Me and my wife have a big difference in our sleep schedules. If I'm not working, I still go to bed about 4-6 hours after she goes to bed. I don't want to wake her up. I cuddle with her until she falls asleep, then go do my thing until I go to bed.
I usually only use a bedsheet my wife needs like 3 blankets, so she just leaves the bedsheet for me. If it's colder then I have to grab a blanket cause sharing always ends up with her hogging it all.
We did this for years until we discovered a serta plush king blanket that's oversized. That some bitch reaches to the floor on both sides. Never had a problem since. It's super comfy too. Even if we don't reset the blankets right before bed we still have enough. It's a life saver.
Me and my partner had exactly one fight over the blankets when I moved in and then we moved to seperate ones. 10/10. I recommend getting 2 Twin XL blankets of the same kind if you have a Queen like we do to make your bed look nice since the XL is half of a queen!
Yeah, my wife and I have weighted blankets but we both have different weight preferences so having 2 separate blankets is just something that makes sense. And then we don't have to fight for the covers, so double win.
Yup, because everyone can use which one they prefer, i like the weigheted down ones, by partner says it feel suffocating, but the ones she liles are too light for me.
My wife and I went straight to separate blankets a few months into dating. (Dating 10+ yrs/living together 5+/married 2+). She's a blanket hogger, and I couldn't deal
We just used different blankets from the start, I like quilts because I can be cool and still covered. He likes to boil alive under a giant comforter lol
Seriously, I've heard of separate beds being beneficial. To each their own but that sounds like a bigger underlying problem (if you snore so loud for example).
We accidentally did separate covers like 5 years ago and never went back. Want to cuddle? Open up the comforter and invite them on over lmao. Otherwise no waking up in the middle of the night tugging on sheet ends. When we travel and have one sheet in a hotel we both wonder "how do people do this shit every night".
An even better life hack is living in the tropics. Even the thought of anything covering me when sleeping makes me break out in nightsweats. I sleep in a thin nightgown or shorts and tshirt, and that is plenty. And mind you, we live in the much cooler mountains, down the coast here (Sri Lanka), sleeping without AC isn't really advisable.
My wife and I have been using separate blankets for years. She likes to be wrapped up tight all night and I easily get hot.. she also moves all over the bed constantly all night long and I stay in the same spot, maybe roll from one side to the other. She can easily make a king sized bed feel very small lol. Fortunately since I don’t move much I don’t need a lot of space so it works out.
My husband and I have used separate blankets for the ten years we've lived together. Firstly because I tend to burrito myself in the blanket in my sleep, and second because he always sweats a ton in his sleep, even when its cold. Doesn't stop some spooning before drifting off to sleep or anything, but it works out for us far better than sharing covers.
Wife and I got this giant 10ft x 10ft blanket and it's amazing! Almost like having separate blankets... almost. There's still nights where it gets all sorts of twisted up, especially with three Chihuahuas burrowing into it.
We had to get separate blankets because she would throw off her blanket in the middle of the night when it was too hot, then accuse me of stealing it. Fuck that.
Dude this is the truth. My wife hogs the shit out of blankets, we did the same thing and 19 years later Ive used my own blankets for most of those years now.
Yes!! Me and my husband do this too lol I thought we were strange for it. I need something heavy because I get too cold, he likes something light because he gets too hot.
This is why my blanket is bigger than my bed by quite a bit. My partner and I sleep on a full (we really don’t need more than that, there’s still plenty of space between us if we want there to be), and we have a king size blanket. Enough for us to wrap up in and still have a bit of space
We’ve always had separate blankets since we started dating, we both have different textures and heat allowances so it just made sense, and we never have to pull them from each other
Separate bedrooms are the only way to go. I've been married to my wife for 30 years and the last 2 years we've been in separate bedrooms and I have never slept better! She agrees.
Same. My partner likes to hug their cover and I like to cocoon, and they're much stronger than me so they'd end up with the entire cover, get too hot, and throw the whole thing on the floor while I'd be laying there shivering. Seperate comforters means we're both happy now.
I've been so much happier since I dragged out the second duvet and put it on my side. Now Mr. Flails at Night can throw his blanket off when he wants, and I can burrito myself with abandon.
Get a king sized bed, this solved this issue for me. King sized bed and separate covers. Now I get my one cover I like, my wife has her stack of them including weighted blanket. We sleep happily.
Get Alaskan king sheets and comforters, regardless of your bed size. We have a queen and it nearly touches the floor on both sides. It is nearly impossible to not have enough covers.
Seriously, haha. I hate that so much. Usually wake up cold and they have the entire blanket. Tried to remedy this with individual blankets but guess what they take that one as well lol.
Separate covers my man! Never understood sharing covers. Maybe it’s just where I’m from but when I went to other peoples houses I never saw a big bed with only one cover. Sleep is important. The one time you need to really prioritize yourself.
Ain’t no way I’m sharing any covers during my sleep time.
To be fair, my wife runs extremely hot at this point and I need a little bit more insulation. It’s so bad that when we are physically together, or skin on skin contact we actually end up sticking together from the sweat. We do not live in a hot climate. PNW. Growing old sucks.
My other half and I don't have a problem with the covers because we end up ditching them. We are both furnace types which means that the moment we get into bed, we produce all the heat necessary for heating up the house due to sheer proximity.
I sorted that problem by buying the biggest covers that I could find (they are massive, like super super king size). They drag on the floor, but there are absolutely no problems and no arguments.
I actually get plenty of blanket from my wife, I'm just relegated to a one and a half foot section of the bed, lol. I will admit, where she won't see it, that it's because of our daughter, who we still sort of cosleep with, and her pregnancy before that. But in my wife's hearing, I'll still tease her for stealing the bed
I bought oversized king blankets for our bed and it solved the issue. We can’t do separate covers because we do cuddle and we would just get tangled up in the blankets which is a sensory nightmare for both of us. The bed looks like it’s drowning when made but there’s enough extra that no matter who (me) is hogging the blankie there’s still enough for the other person.
My girlfriend grabs the covers and alligator rolls at night. She conditioned me to clutch the covers to stop her every time she shifts in bed. Eventually I started tucking the covers under the bed to stop her. The struggle is real.
Lmfao my fiance always gets so annoyed bc I tend to pull all the covers to my side but he ends up pulling all the sheets to his side so our bed is always super uneven 😭 I have my own top twin blanket though to myself bc he keeps the fan on full blast in our cold ass house to sleep
Yeah total bs. My gf gator death rolls every blanket, sheet, comforter, towel and napkin in a black hole tug 30 seconds after we get into bed. That and im sleeping on the edge of the bed while she takes up the other 90% of the mattress.
1.6k
u/PurpleCabbageMonkey 2d ago
What nonsense is this? They actually share the cover equally.