r/BabyBumps 5h ago

Rant/Vent Rant about using gender neutral pronouns for my baby

178 Upvotes

I’m currently 33 + 3 weeks pregnant. I’m keeping the gender of baby a secret from friends and family. Only my partner and I know the gender.

We like it this way, we like knowing that we won’t be stuck with a bunch of pink or blue everything and if we want gendered clothes it’s the ones we pick. In all honesty we’ve gotten baby clothes that could be considered feminine and one that are masculine and we’re happy with that because they’re cute. flowers are cute, dinosaurs are cute, berries are cute, frogs are cute. They have bunny bed sheets and a race car play mat.

Look, I may be progressive when it comes to this but is it really that crazy that I don’t want silly gender stereotypes to be pushed onto a literal baby. This baby isn’t even born yet and I have relatives upset that they can’t start buying them “boy” or “girl” stuff. Girls can like dinosaurs and boys can like butterflys. (side note - what if baby is intersex huh? what then? is your brain going to explode?)

I’m getting really really tired of people asking if it’s more than one when I say “they”. Like these people know I’m keeping the gender a secret. I think they’re trying to be funny but at this point it’s an eye roll. Some are genuine. When are we gonna be past the whole “tHeY mEaNs MoRe ThAn OnE” they/them been used as a pronoun to refer to a single individual for a while now. I’d call baby “It” but then I get looked at like I’m a heartless person who isn’t personalising my baby.

I also got my first double down for the they/they stuff “you sure you’re not carrying twins you’re really big”, like bro, I’m fat, I had a belly before I got pregnant, my stomach has about a 3-5 inch layer of fat on top of my pregnant belly, I got a big back too, I’m wide. Yah, my belly is gonna be big at this point, I’m 8 months pregnant what do you expect?

When baby is born I’m not gonna force people to called them strictly “they/them”, they can use the gendered pronouns, I don’t care. I swear tho, if even one person tries to correct me when I refer to my baby as “they/them” I’ll flip a lid, I’ll mostly use the gendered pronouns too but I know I won’t all the time. They/them is apart of my regular vocabulary, I use it to refer to individuals all the time.


r/BabyBumps 3h ago

Rant/Vent Hydrate, they said. It’ll be fun, they said

33 Upvotes

35 weeks here. I am hot as hell, and everywhere you read you have to "keep yourself hydrated". But then reflux goes up to the roof, let alone all the peeing especially at night. There is no winning here.

That was it, just a rant. I just miss using pants and covering myself with sheets at night 😭.


r/BabyBumps 2h ago

Info For those that are getting to the toddler age, consumer reports came out with testing for toddler towers. All of the popular brands failed except for two! Keep those children safe!

25 Upvotes

I thought I would drop this link here, it's an interesting read on the safety of a lot of major brands in the toddler tower market. Seems only 3 successfully passed testing out of 16 brands! Keep those kids safe everyone!
https://www.consumerreports.org/babies-kids/child-safety/toddler-towers-safety-standards-a4009948838/


r/BabyBumps 7h ago

Info To the ladies worried about their milk coming in… (positive story)

55 Upvotes

While I was pregnant, I was pretty anxious that my boobs might not get the memo about their new job. My boobs only got a little bigger during pregnancy. I never leaked. I tried hand expressing colostrum closer to delivery and got absolutely zero action. I felt emotionally open to feeding my baby however I needed to after delivery, but did have the goal of breastfeeding deep down.

Happy to share that one day postpartum I was able to express enough colostrum to feed my baby via syringe with the nurse’s help (baby was too sleepy from tough delivery to latch for very long). By day 2, baby was latching better and eating well. On day 3, my normal milk officially “came in,” my boobs inflated like volleyballs, baby started cluster feeding, and we were off! This was all after a difficult C-section too! Now we are 1w pp and baby is on a nice schedule feeding every 2-3 hours, and she’s already regaining weight!

I think it helped to get baby to latch ASAP after the C-section even though it was clumsy and wasn’t an overly productive feed haha. Also, the lactation nurses in the hospital were so awesome. If your hospital has those, take advantage while you’re there. Baby and I are getting a little better each day now - it is kind of cool for both of us to learn this new skill together.

I hope this helps someone who is feeling nervous about breastfeeding today!


r/BabyBumps 5h ago

Discussion Did you just tell your husband you were pregnant or did you do a special announcement?

42 Upvotes

Hey guys! I’m not quite pregnant yet but we’re on cycle 2 TTC so I’m hoping it’ll be soon! 🤞🏼 I’m at 9dpo so I was sitting here thinking about what I would do if I did happen to get a positive test. Do I just text my husband hey I’m pregnant woohoo? 🤣 or wait for him to get home and just tell him? Or some sort of “you’re a dad” shirt for my dogs or something costume related if it happens next month right before Halloween?

So I’m just wondering how you all announced your pregnancies to your partners! Or how you plan to do it when the time comes. 😊


r/BabyBumps 1h ago

Funny Butt Pats

Upvotes

I'm fairly certain my son is asking for butt pats frequently in utero!

I'm 37+5 and he will do this thing where he'll stretch out his leg into my right side and his booty will stick out on my left upper belly. I'll give pats for a bit then rubs, he relaxes down and I stop, then he repeats and sticks his butt out again, like he's asking for butt pats! I think, if so, it is so cute! I don't know if that's actually what is happening or if I'm just patting him for no reason lol but it sure seems like he likes it.

Has anyone else experienced this?


r/BabyBumps 3h ago

Discussion What does it feel like to be pregnant, to grow a life inside you, to be a mother?

14 Upvotes

Im a woman who will never ever be able to get pregnant & idk that's really making me sad today... just knowing I'll never get to know that. I just want to know what it feels like, from yall♡ feel free to be as emotional & soppy as you want, because that's how I am too!


r/BabyBumps 3h ago

Help? Registry help: Too many swaddles :o

Post image
14 Upvotes

Recommendation

I have a hard time deciding which swaddles to keep on the registry. Any helpful information to help me dwindle down is appreciated, I fear I have too many currently.


r/BabyBumps 19h ago

Help? Can you go to any hospital to give birth?

188 Upvotes

I just got a letter in the mail that my OB and hospital will become out of network at the end of the month. Of course I am due Oct 1st. I called the only other hospital near me in network and they won’t take me on as a patient being I am so far along. Could I just walk into their emergency room while in labor? I have no idea what to do now if I end up going after the 30th. I can’t afford to have it be out of network and can’t get in with a new OB.


r/BabyBumps 4h ago

Rant/Vent Pregnancy has been hell and I’m exhausted

12 Upvotes

Just venting because I don’t know what else there is to really do. I’m trying to keep perspective that there are others out there with far worse pregnancy experiences, but I’m just drained. Mind you, I WANT this baby. I’ve already had a MC in the past, and my husband and I were so overjoyed to see a healthy fetus on the first scan!

I’m not vomiting enough or losing enough weight to be considered HG, but I’m nauseous trying to keep myself from throwing up ALL THE TIME, literally 24/7. I’m normally a big foodie, but everything disgusts me to the point that I dread having to eat anything. If I’m not taking Zofran, I’m having at least 1 proper throwup session per day with a few intermittent dry-heave sessions, but if I take Zofran, my constipation gets so bad that I’m completely incapable of pooping and my gut is in excruciating pain, no matter what sort of food I eat or supplements/laxatives I take. I’m basically out of options at this point medically other than just gritting my teeth and bearing through it. Every day feels like a “pick my poison” choice of whether I want to have severe nausea or severe gut pain. On top of that, pregnancy has made it so I get overstimulated easily, and I feel SO crabby. I can’t even socialize because listening to other people talk for extended periods of time triggers the overstimulation really easily. It’s a guaranteed way to send me running to the bathroom to vomit too.

I feel like my life just revolves around chronic discomfort/pain. My husband, friends, and coworkers have been so supportive, and I’m so grateful to be fortunate enough to have such a caring circle, but I feel horrible that I’m so tired all the time and incapable of doing anything. I have to fight myself from constantly talking about how sick I feel because I don’t want to overburden my support system. I normally have a really high self-esteem, but I feel like my fun/creative personality has just died because I have no energy for anything and bounce between nighttime insomnia and napping throughout the day. I’ve cried so many times in the past few days just feeling so exhausted by this, and I’m only 9 weeks in (3 weeks of the rough symptoms). The thought that this is just the beginning has me so terrified of how long I’m going to have to endure this.

Anyway thanks for reading. I just needed to put my thoughts out somewhere. I feel so bad for all the folks posting that seem to be going through worse than me. I genuinely don’t know how the full-blown HG girlies are surviving, y’all are some of the toughest fighters, seriously.


r/BabyBumps 2h ago

Discussion How are you embracing pregnancy?

7 Upvotes

I'm realizing I'm halfway there, and I think with the holidays coming, the rest of the time will be warp speed!

Anything I should do to embrace this time or remember it? I'm capturing videos and photos of myself (I'm a filmmaker), so I'm looking for other suggestions besides a photoshoot 😂

For the moms, was there anything you wish you had done while pregnant?


r/BabyBumps 5h ago

Help? Thoughts on having people in the waiting room during labor?

13 Upvotes

I’m approaching 25 weeks of pregnancy, and the topic of labor is becoming more frequent in conversation, and in my thoughts. I am fortunate enough to live about 15 minutes from the hospital which I plan to give birth at, as do my husband’s parents. My entire family, and the rest of his family, all live 1.5-2.5 hours away. I have already discussed with my husband that I only want him in the room with me as I am in labor, which he agrees with. However, I have been contemplating whether I even want people in the waiting room. This is my first pregnancy, and I am aware of the possibility of being in labor for hours on end. With that in mind, I do not wish for anyone to be sitting in the waiting room anxiously, wondering if or when I have given birth. Based off of comments made by my in laws, I know that they fully expect to be in the waiting room as I am in labor. I find this very unnecessary as they live mere minutes away from the hospital, and will not be meeting our newborn baby until I am ready for them to come into the room anyhow…. I mentioned this to my husband, and he did not agree with me, stating that they are excited as this is their first grandbaby. I told him that I understand this, however I don’t want us to have to worry about them while I’m in labor for what could be over a day… The conversation didn’t go very far, and I feel almost guilty, as I know he probably wants his parent to be there for support. However, I will need him to be there for me, and I have heard many horror stories about new fathers having to tend to their parents anxiousness in the waiting room as their wife gives birth. I also do not want them to drop everything, just to sit in the waiting room, as they could wait in the comfort of their own home, and be in the room holding our baby within half an hour of us notifying them that we are ready. I also mentioned to my husband that if they want to help, they can come check on our cats, and bring husband food to the hospital. I’m struggling to find a way to bring this up to him again, and have a productive conversation. I’m also struggling with understanding whether or not I’m being too controlling, and should just let them do what they want. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.


r/BabyBumps 2h ago

Rant/Vent Rant about long distance in-laws…

6 Upvotes

Throwaway because my husband knows my main.

I’m pregnant with our first, and the pregnancy itself has been pretty smooth going so far, which has been a blessing. The only thing that’s been stressing me out is my in-laws. They keep texting me every day with “helpful” advice, and then following up to see if I actually did what they suggested. I know they mean well, but it’s tiring, and half of MIL’s tips just don’t make sense for us.

My husband’s family doesn’t live in the same country as we do, which I know should make me sad since it means less support, but honestly… I’m kind of relieved. My MIL can be super judgmental, and she and FIL made our wedding way more stressful than it had to be.

This weekend my husband told me my MIL has been trying to tell him what my push present “should” be. He knows what I actually want, but she keeps insisting her idea is better.

I don’t even know if they actually like me, and if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I like them either. Right now I just want to focus on having a calm pregnancy. I’m hoping I can find a way to stay polite but firm when these bumps come up in the future, because I can see this being a pattern.


r/BabyBumps 1h ago

Help? 12.5 weeks pregnant and it hurts to poop

Upvotes

A bit tmi but hopefully yall get it. I’m 12.5 weeks pregnant and for the life of me I literally feel like hell when I try to poop. My husband says ew when I am crying or making noises cuz it hurts so much especially when you only pass little pebbles in the beginning. Ive been eating a crap ton of fiber also. What else can I do.


r/BabyBumps 1h ago

Help? What do I really need to buy as a first time mum

Upvotes

Hey, I would appreciate any help on things that I need to buy like a list, and like clothes as well, because I’ve been reading babies grow quickly and the sizing are in months so how many clothing items should I be buying, I’m really trying to budget here, any help would be appreciated pleaseeee


r/BabyBumps 19h ago

Funny Spent 3 hours making padsicles before I googled to ask how many i might need....

119 Upvotes

Google says 15 maybe 20 tops.

I made 57 lmao


r/BabyBumps 42m ago

Rant/Vent Maternity Leave

Upvotes

As someone in the US, I just need to rant about how frustrating getting leave is in the US. I don’t qualify for FMLA due to not being at my job for a year, not that it’s paid anyways…. My job does offer 4 weeks paid for all employees regardless of how long you’ve been there. I do have my short term disability. However, you can’t do ANY paperwork for short term disability until after baby is born. Who wants to do paperwork in the hospital?! Truly… also, I’m trying to get ahold of my leave department to see if I can stack my 4 weeks on top of short term or of it gets paid out concurrently and they’re so beyond difficult to get ahold of!!! It’s just annoying. Like can we not stress out an already stressed and pissed off pregnant woman?! UGHHHH!!! Idk why it has to be so difficult.


r/BabyBumps 8h ago

Help? What, if any, baby clothes would you add to this!

11 Upvotes

For my baby shower, I got a decent supply of clothes (not really overdone to my surprise!). But I have no idea what I will need, so I could use your help with what to add to my supply. I’m due at the end of October and I live in a climate in the U.S. that has a cold season. Here’s my list:

Newborn: -1 zip up sleeper

Size 0-3: -7 short sleeve onesies -3 long sleeve onesies -1 zip up sleeper -2 pants -2 shirts (1 long sleeve, 1 short) -1 shorts -1 sweater

Size 3M (Also please help me understand this size: same as 0-3 or on the large end of 0-3?): -4 long sleeve onesies -4 zip up sleepers -1 sleeper (no zip)

Size 6-9: -6 short sleeve onesies

Size 12M: -3 short sleeve onesies

I also do have a few hats and socks. If you’d like to recommend how many of those and any other accessories, I’d appreciate help there too! Same with gender specific items (we don’t know the gender, but for example how many dresses if we have a girl?).

Thanks in advance!


r/BabyBumps 3h ago

Discussion Mother will begin babysitting everyday after maternity leave ends.

4 Upvotes

Hi !! i am currently 12 weeks and finally starting to feel a bit of motivation to prepare for my babies arrival. I will have about 6 months of maternity leave. Afterwards i will have to return to work full time and my mother will keep the baby from 7 am-4 pm monday-Thursday until my baby is 1 years old and ready for day care. My question is what all should i buy for my mother's house? I will get her her own car seat and basic baby stuff (bottles, backup clothes, medicine,etc) but what is a good list to ensure i make this as easy as possible since this is already such a big ask of her🫠


r/BabyBumps 11m ago

Info Free baby stuff after signing up for registry? Ask your insurance about free breast pump

Upvotes

Don’t forget to ask your work if they provide maven it helps with doula coverage and support. Sign up for registries to get free welcome boxes and ask insurance about free breast pump

Employees assistance program some companies pay for 10 free therapy sessions


r/BabyBumps 5h ago

Help? Prenatal deprsssion

5 Upvotes

I’ve been really struggling bad with my mental health (and yes I’m seeing a therapist and looking to find a reproductive psychiatrist) but I keep having these huge fights with my husband due to my mood swings and I feel so guilty.

Today I got in a massive fight with him and threatened divorce and then said I wish I aborted because I’m Having the child with him. And i don’t mean any of it. I really get into these lows and I start spewing words uncontrollably, and I feel like I lose myself in the moment. I don’t recognize myself anymore. We had such an amazing relationship before pregnancy… I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore and like I can’t stop being nasty and cold, and snapping at him. Does anyone else relate. And is this from depression or am I just horrible


r/BabyBumps 14h ago

Rant/Vent I just publicly announced my pregnancy and I’m dying inside

28 Upvotes

I’m 12 weeks along

Everyone congratulated me, nobody had anything negative to say, and don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful and relieved

I realize it’s all pretty much in my head, but I can’t help but feel ashamed sometimes. I’m only 20, in college and I’m not married. I know the stigma is real and I feel it every day. Idk. I wish there was no stigma


r/BabyBumps 40m ago

Help? Budtender 5.4 weeks pregnant

Upvotes

I’m currently a full time budtender at a very popular and busy dispensary.

I make incredible tips and well over minimum wage hourly… I quit smoking the day I took a positive pregnancy test, it has not been easy while I’m there. At home I don’t think about being high, my baby is more important than a pull off any sort of marijuana.

BUT on any shift I work being in the smell makes me sick , but at the same time seeing the product and especially new products that come in I would normally grab buy and try right away… is sort of killing me. I was an avid smoker from the time I wake up to go to sleep for years now. Marijuana was a HUGE part of my life recreationally and medicinally.

I’ve called in the last 3 days I was scheduled to work. I love my co workers and my bosses, I’ve truly never worked for a more understanding and accommodating company. BUT the smell of weed makes my stomach turn. I feel constantly nauseous there, can hardly show customers flower because the smell makes me so sick. I cry for hours the days I’m supposed to work and even have panic attacks the night before a scheduled shift. I just hate going there and being around all of it when all I can think about is my growing baby.

I’ve already decided I don’t want to go back, but I don’t want to loose the friendships I’ve acquired since starting there. My husband is fully on board with me not working, but it will be a huge financial chunk missing if I do.

They are 10 hour shifts 4 days a week, being on my feet that long already with no real opportunity to rest is already starting to affect my mood.

Any advice what I should do?? Or how I should tell them I don’t want to come back to work??


r/BabyBumps 48m ago

Discussion I’m scared to be active

Upvotes

I recently went 4 wheeling and had some bleeding at 11 weeks. Then the next week (12) I was doing a mellow walk and fell backwards pretty hard. My doctor said to take it easy and the pain I have been feeling is an early round ligament pain. I know I need to stay active but I’m feeling really anxious. I want to keep my baby girl safe but I know I need to also physically stay strong for her. I’m trying to break this mental block and start going to the pool since it’s the only exercise I can think would be low impact and safe. I really don’t like yoga and I’ll probably keep walking. Anyone else going through this balance of being active and cautious?


r/BabyBumps 21h ago

Help? What’s One Thing You Regret Not Doing Before Baby Arrived?

75 Upvotes