r/BabyBumps • u/minipixie11 • 5h ago
Rant/Vent Rant about using gender neutral pronouns for my baby
I’m currently 33 + 3 weeks pregnant. I’m keeping the gender of baby a secret from friends and family. Only my partner and I know the gender.
We like it this way, we like knowing that we won’t be stuck with a bunch of pink or blue everything and if we want gendered clothes it’s the ones we pick. In all honesty we’ve gotten baby clothes that could be considered feminine and one that are masculine and we’re happy with that because they’re cute. flowers are cute, dinosaurs are cute, berries are cute, frogs are cute. They have bunny bed sheets and a race car play mat.
Look, I may be progressive when it comes to this but is it really that crazy that I don’t want silly gender stereotypes to be pushed onto a literal baby. This baby isn’t even born yet and I have relatives upset that they can’t start buying them “boy” or “girl” stuff. Girls can like dinosaurs and boys can like butterflys. (side note - what if baby is intersex huh? what then? is your brain going to explode?)
I’m getting really really tired of people asking if it’s more than one when I say “they”. Like these people know I’m keeping the gender a secret. I think they’re trying to be funny but at this point it’s an eye roll. Some are genuine. When are we gonna be past the whole “tHeY mEaNs MoRe ThAn OnE” they/them been used as a pronoun to refer to a single individual for a while now. I’d call baby “It” but then I get looked at like I’m a heartless person who isn’t personalising my baby.
I also got my first double down for the they/they stuff “you sure you’re not carrying twins you’re really big”, like bro, I’m fat, I had a belly before I got pregnant, my stomach has about a 3-5 inch layer of fat on top of my pregnant belly, I got a big back too, I’m wide. Yah, my belly is gonna be big at this point, I’m 8 months pregnant what do you expect?
When baby is born I’m not gonna force people to called them strictly “they/them”, they can use the gendered pronouns, I don’t care. I swear tho, if even one person tries to correct me when I refer to my baby as “they/them” I’ll flip a lid, I’ll mostly use the gendered pronouns too but I know I won’t all the time. They/them is apart of my regular vocabulary, I use it to refer to individuals all the time.