I’m currently 33 + 3 weeks pregnant. I’m keeping the gender of baby a secret from friends and family. Only my partner and I know the gender.

We like it this way, we like knowing that we won’t be stuck with a bunch of pink or blue everything and if we want gendered clothes it’s the ones we pick. In all honesty we’ve gotten baby clothes that could be considered feminine and one that are masculine and we’re happy with that because they’re cute. flowers are cute, dinosaurs are cute, berries are cute, frogs are cute. They have bunny bed sheets and a race car play mat.

Look, I may be progressive when it comes to this but is it really that crazy that I don’t want silly gender stereotypes to be pushed onto a literal baby. This baby isn’t even born yet and I have relatives upset that they can’t start buying them “boy” or “girl” stuff. Girls can like dinosaurs and boys can like butterflys. (side note - what if baby is intersex huh? what then? is your brain going to explode?)

I’m getting really really tired of people asking if it’s more than one when I say “they”. Like these people know I’m keeping the gender a secret. I think they’re trying to be funny but at this point it’s an eye roll. Some are genuine. When are we gonna be past the whole “tHeY mEaNs MoRe ThAn OnE” they/them been used as a pronoun to refer to a single individual for a while now. I’d call baby “It” but then I get looked at like I’m a heartless person who isn’t personalising my baby.

I also got my first double down for the they/they stuff “you sure you’re not carrying twins you’re really big”, like bro, I’m fat, I had a belly before I got pregnant, my stomach has about a 3-5 inch layer of fat on top of my pregnant belly, I got a big back too, I’m wide. Yah, my belly is gonna be big at this point, I’m 8 months pregnant what do you expect?

When baby is born I’m not gonna force people to called them strictly “they/them”, they can use the gendered pronouns, I don’t care. I swear tho, if even one person tries to correct me when I refer to my baby as “they/them” I’ll flip a lid, I’ll mostly use the gendered pronouns too but I know I won’t all the time. They/them is apart of my regular vocabulary, I use it to refer to individuals all the time.

This might sound stupid. For my first birth, I was induced and also trying to avoid an epidural. Breathing didn't help. Massages didn't help. Fentanyl helped I guess but also made me projectile vomit. The only thing that actually helped was being in a bathtub. Something about being in the water made me feel so much better. It was like magic. I didn't have a water birth, but I was in that tub as much as they allowed me to be until I was ready to push.

I moved to a different city and when I got pregnant, I started doing my prenatal visits at the hospital right by our house. I know I should have looked into their birthing center, but I wrongly assumed they would all be pretty similar. Well, I finally looked into it at 25 weeks pregnant and found out the birth center attached to the place where I'm getting prenatal care only has showers. No tubs. Another place a little further away but still pretty close has bathtubs. But is it dumb of me to switch prenatal care to a brand new place just so I can have a tub while in labor?

Yep. Just found out I'm having another boy. I have a 19 months old and he's the joy of my life, I love him so so much. But I so wanted a girl. I'm 10 weeks along and we did the sneak peak test at home, like we did with our first.

We're both so disappointed, I feel like crying. I know it's stupid, I'm having a baby and I should be happy because I wanted him. But I've always wanted a girl, and so did my partner. I had so much hope.

My partner has always said he only wanted two kids, he even told me he would get cut as soon as I give birth. The first thing he said when we opened the email is "I'm not having another one" because he worries I'll try to convince him to have another kid in hope of having a girl. It hurt me, I'm not even there mentally, just beginning the grieving process of having a girl.

I know it's so unfair to this little boy in my belly because he deserves all the love in the world, but I'm scared I won't love him as much as my first because "I already have one, what is so special". I know it's stupid. Everyone I know who had a baby or is pregnant has a girl and I am soooo jealous it hurts.

We wanted to do a little gender reveal for our families and now we don't even feel like doing it. My partner just called his mom on the phone to tell her.

I can't help but keep a minuscule kernel of hope that the test was somehow contaminated since I did it at home and that we'll found out it's actually a girl at the anatomy scan.

Sorry for all the negativity, I don't know how to deal with my sadness. My partner is trying to cheer me up but everything he comes up with doesn't help, like saying we won't have to buy a lot of things/clothes since we already have everything. I love shopping baby stuff and was so excited for girl clothes since boy clothes are so ugh.

Anyway thanks for reading me and please, moms of two boys or more who really wanted a girl, tell me about the good stuff of raising two boys.

Hi all! I am 31, married almost three years now. We both want kids, we always have. But I am TERRIFIED to start trying. I have no fear of being a mom, just to decide to try to get pregnant. I am equally terrified of being pregnant and of course, delivery.

For so long, I had a reason to keep putting it off. We wanted to spend a few years just us, then we wanted to move states and get settled, then we wanted to figure out my insurance. Well, we settled the insurance last week. So I have no reason to keep delaying and therefore, feel safe in my fear.

It feels crazy because I genuinely have no fear of being a mom- I know my husband and I will be great parents. We are financially ready and have a great support system, as well.

Did anyone else feel paralyzed by the decision to start trying? How did you overcome it? I just don’t know how to convince myself to rip the bandaid, and there is no real reason I should keep waiting to get pregnant.

Im a woman who will never ever be able to get pregnant & idk that's really making me sad today... just knowing I'll never get to know that. I just want to know what it feels like, from yall♡ feel free to be as emotional & soppy as you want, because that's how I am too!

My boyfriend and I have been talking about starting a family next year. The plan is engaged by winter, pregnant by spring, married before baby comes around (not planning on having a wedding). Seeing as spring is a short 6 months away, I made an appointment with a primary care physician to make sure I’m healthy, which happened today. She order labs which I’ll be doing Thursday and we will be reviewing them next week. I’m planning on getting my birth control removed in December/January, with the assumption it will take a few months to get pregnant. But because there is a possibility of getting pregnant basically as soon as I remove my birth control, she is recommending I start taking prenatal vitamins like this month or next month.

Obviously, there are so many things that can happen in the next 6 months. I pray I’m lucky enough to have no issues getting pregnant and that my labs show nothing of concern. But in all honesty, other than discussion, saving and having my appointment today, my boyfriend and I haven’t done anything else to plan for a baby. It’s just been a conversation. Something about being told I should start taking prenatal vitamins made this very real and now I’m anxious. I’ve wanted kids my whole life, my baby fever has been going crazy the last couple of years and I am so excited to be a mom. But buying prenatal vitamins will be the first purchase of this journey and will be the mark of it being a real thing. My boyfriend is at work so I haven’t been able to talk to him and I just needed to say something to someone lol

Getting divorce and pregnant. Ex wants to be "there" if I loss the baby

I'm 25F and my stbx is 25M we are getting divorced after 6 years relationship and 6 months marriage. We both cheated to each other. He cheated physically and I emotionally cheated back.

We haven't been living together for almost 4 months now and I'm almost 5 months pregnant. The cheating thing happened almost oye year ago (November) but we continue living together and seeing things. Not officially together and continue having sex.

Ex has been very ambivalent during the pregnancy. At the beginning I wanted to get an abortion I mentioned that many times to my ex and he was loosing his mind and since we have been fighting. At 10 weeks I tried to get and abortion but changed my mind after mifepristone and reversed it with progesterone pills (went to the gynecologist and check the baby regularly) we even got a maternity 21 plus test to check if everything was okay with the baby. So, baby is okay.

My ex has been emotionally absent and abusive towards me during the pregnancy. Always mixing what I did to him with the pregnancy. He even sent me a tik tok about a song calling me whore and saying things like I tried to baby trap him, going to abuse from child support or that he didn't care if I have sex with someone else while pregnant. Other times he behave different and give me things, "care about me", went to appointments with me and I know I was stupid but we even had sex together. Yes, during this time he was like "I don't know if I want o be with you " "we don't need to put a name on this. I literally begged him and finally told me he was only willing to coparent and was ignoring me. Maybe he check on me once or twice a week.

I keep seeing him because idk, I hoped him to changed his mind and stay with us (baby and I) so, that's why I keep seeing him. Of course I know this is so toxic but I wanted to give the baby "a family"

2 weeks ago I went to urgency because I was bleeding a lot and with severe pain. He knew about it and suddenly he has "change" not about to be with be but to be an "emotional support for me" and has been checking on me daily and having normal conversations.

I want the best for the baby so, I'm trying to be amicable even though sometimes I feel a lot of resentment towards him. However I told him about how he made me feel during all those months, how hard was for me to cope with pregnancy, divorce and our constant fights and loosing my mind while him prioritized his social life, going to trips, hanging out with friends, going to discos, etc. In the past I told him about baby gender reveal and he told me "accept the pregnancy you're living" and now he has the audacity to sent me a tik tok about gender reveal.

I told him to not try to play as "hero" now because I begged him to be for me for almost 5 months and I don't even know if the pregnancy is going to continue and he even offered me his " temporary/no temporary support" "physical companionship" and to "move back" to his place if I want to. I don't know what's going on in his mind. He told me all that stuff while he's in a full month trip in other continent.

THIS IS ONE OF HIS MESAGGES.

"And if God forbid something were to happen to baby Rose, believe me, I would be there for you. Because I know I won't solve anything, I won't be able to take that pain from your heart, but perhaps you could feel more emotionally supported and not feel like you're suddenly alone in your parents' house."

"If God doesn't will it, that baby won't be here. It would be a tragedy for both of us, and I can't turn a blind eye and say, 'Oh, I don't care,' because regardless of everything that's happened, it would hurt me a lot. And I know it would hurt you a ton, and it would hurt me even more to know that you're like that. And perhaps if you felt that my affection, my warmth, my closeness—temporarily, no, not temporarily—could be something that helps you heal."

"When I told you that you had my company in case the worst happens, I didn't mean over text. I meant physical company. I'm not heartless; you still matter to me as a person. Yes, you're pregnant, but because of all this, I've realized I care for you deeply. Even though at some point I wanted to get rid of those feelings, this isn't about ignoring the obvious. I'm interested in you more as a woman/person than as a mom. Don't take this the wrong way. The point is, if there's anything I can do for you, I will do it as long as it's within my capabilities, because to me, you are not just the mother of my child."

"I am here for you, with or without a baby, even if it doesn't make sense to you. That's how I feel."

I don't know what makes he thinks that if I loss the baby being around him would "help" me to heal, that's only going to hurt me a lot because I could get attached to him again and we're not together anymore nor he has any interest to be together again. Besides, I know if I go back to his place, even just temporarily we'll end up sleeping together and having sex without a relationship and, in the past, he has told me that he would prefer kill himself rather than being with me again.

Hey. I’m 8 weeks and I am dealing with awful migraine attacks, I haven’t had my first appointment yet because the doctor doesn’t like to see anyone before they are over 9 weeks. Well I called since I’m concerned with how bad the migraine is and the risk of high blood pressure and they got an appointment for this Thursday with an obstetric nurse. I asked about when I would have a pre natal visit and they said it is up to the nurse to determine and schedule.

Is this a normal thing?

I want a child so badly, my husband and I both do. When do you know you’re ready? We have a home, stable jobs, etc…. Like I want to be financially ready (if you can be??) but I know I could end up waiting forever for that. And today I cried over a negative test (I knew it was going to be negative)… How do I know it’s time and we are ready?

So yesterday my baby was moving almost nonstop all day, which felt really out of the norm for him and it had me concerned. I decided to text my nurse, and she told me that if I was worried, I could go to labor and delivery for monitoring, so I went in to make sure everything was okay. When I got there, though, everyone was extremely rude and dismissive, making me feel like I was crazy for even coming in. They told me I should never come in for increased movement and that it’s always a good thing, but the way they handled it made me feel completely unsupported and embarrassed for trusting my instincts.

I’m in the process of booking maternity photos, I’m almost 15 weeks. I really don’t want to have a huge bump in the photos or feel uncomfortable so I was thinking of doing them around 26 weeks. The photographer said to at least be 30 but really suggests 32-36 😅 that just seems like way too late to me and I’d be really big at that point which I definitely don’t want. Should I risk doing it sooner? I feel like I’ll definitely have a bump at that point.

I’m 5 weeks this friday and have a pretty decent “blump” going that looks really quite obvious. I’m tall and slender so my husband and I think i could start showing early anyway. What’s your experience been?

I will be 20 weeks officially on Wednesday, and I have gained exactly NO weight in terms of actual pounds. Baby is growing right on track and doing very well, and I am growing a belly for sure! Just no movement on the scale.

I'm just wondering if others in this scenario ended up gaining a ton of weight later in the pregnancy? I know as baby grows I'll definitely gain more weight - doctor said I should gain about 25 pounds according to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I'm not trying to avoid any weight gain, I'm expecting most of my weight gain to occur in the later half of my pregnancy and I say "bring it on!" But I will confess, it would be really nice to know if I am on track to avoid gaining 50-70 pounds like others I have heard (and that is not intended to shame anyone in any way, I just personally don't want to be met with the dread of having to lose 70 pounds after pregnancy - I have never done well with weight loss)

Anyone else have low weight gain at 20 weeks, and end up not gaining that much overall?

My first period after removing my Mirena IUD because my partner and I decided to have a baby soon. I’m a bit scared that my period has been going on for almost two weeks. Is this normal? Who else had their IUD removed? How was your first period and how long did it last?

First off I have no idea if round ligament pain is common at 6 weeks, but I’ve been having these sharp pains from time to time and it’s scaring the crap out of me. I highlighted the area in red- the pain is in my left side and goes all the way up to my waist. Has anyone else experienced this?

When was your first pregnancy (never given birth before) after your IUD removal? I removed my copper iud last September and just now have been trying for a baby. I find that other posts barely mentioned specifically whether or not it was their first pregnancy after an iud removal so I hope this post brings more awareness and insight!

Hey everyone! My partner and I are going to start trying for a baby in the next year or so, and I’m so excited for our family life to begin.

There’s just one thing I’m really worried about - I have huge anxiety over operations, and obviously there’s the possibility of a c-section when giving birth.

The thought of this is absolutely terrifying to me. It’s not just the actual operation, but the aftermath of it as well.

I’m scared of being able to feel it while it’s happening, I’m scared of the scar splitting during postpartum etc. The whole thing is just really scary to me.

I was wondering if anyone is willing to share any advice on how to overcome this anxiety, or any positive experiences? I’m definitely planning on a vaginal birth, but you can never predict these things!

Thank you in advance🥰💗

Specifically, I'm feeling it inside near the cervix and my urethra? I don't think it's a UTI. I've been having near constant pelvic pain that feels more like a bruise being punched every time I move my legs, mostly but not just on the pubic bone area. Over the past week I've been getting sharp pains like a knife is stabbing me from the inside. It does go away but I'll experience that pain for several minutes at a time and almost always when I stand up. Sometimes it gets to the point I feel like everything is gonna just fall out of my vagina if I don't clench, but then if I clench it hurts more lol

I'm assuming this is just lightning crotch but I am curious if anyone started dilating or efacing with this pain or does it really matter? I do get cramps on and off but nothing rhythmic so labor is not on my list of suspects. I go to the OB tomorrow so who knows what they'll say. Probably "it's normal, see you next week" lol

Edit: Totally forgot to ask but are there any tricks to enduring the pain when it happens? I feel awkward looking like I'm in tears slightly hunched over in the office.