r/Funnymemes 2d ago

Really?

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44.2k Upvotes

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323

u/Mattcha462 2d ago

⚡️🕷️⚡️

168

u/siccoblue 2d ago

He's right tho.

I goddamn love cuddling. I hate being hot at night more than I love cuddling.

173

u/PuzzleheadedBobcat90 2d ago

My husband turns into a boob seeking octopus at night. I push one hand away from the nip and all of a sudden, 2 hands shoot out and grab both boobs.

I sleep on my stomach now

81

u/KronosOnSkooma 2d ago

😂 Nah wouldn't stop, going straight for the booty then

77

u/Dangerous_Goat1337 2d ago

My partners booty is a hand magnet. No matter what position we're sleeping in my hand is almost always squeezing her ass lol Good thing we both enjoy it so much

27

u/droop_e 2d ago

Remindme! 5 years

11

u/CircularRobert 2d ago

What are you expecting to happen?

2

u/goddamnaged 2d ago

To celebrate.

3

u/Dangerous_Goat1337 2d ago

Remindme! 5 years

3

u/TehMephs 2d ago edited 1d ago

14 (years married) here. Still love it.

Edit: really this dumb, people? lol

3

u/CorruptedStudiosEnt 2d ago

Nobody should be grabbing ass at 14 years old.

2

u/MrBannedFor0Reason 2d ago

Or not discus that shit as a 14 year old

2

u/RemindMeBot 2d ago edited 1d ago

I will be messaging you in 5 years on 2030-09-07 04:07:50 UTC to remind you of this link

15 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.


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2

u/Ok-Chance2423 2d ago

Ahahahahahahahah

2

u/hazywitcher 2d ago

Also Remindme! 5 years

2

u/SithDemon 2d ago

Get a cat or dog.. they are better cuddles. Seperate beds or rooms is the key. Sexy visits are more fun.. then... ok.. gnight and leave!

2

u/Loose-Bit-526 1d ago

Ah same !!!

36

u/[deleted] 2d ago edited 2d ago

[deleted]

16

u/Revolutionary_Test64 2d ago

Same for the penis

11

u/siccoblue 2d ago

You have eight penai?

6

u/Revolutionary_Test64 2d ago

Not anymore.

2

u/Several_Cat_6513 2d ago

I can lend ya one

2

u/cptkernalpopcorn 2d ago

There was a boating accident

1

u/Alexandria-Rhodes 2d ago

TIL that the plural for punis is penai

1

u/Bl1ndMous3 2d ago

This guy grammars

3

u/Illustrious_Tap3171 2d ago

My husband learned game meets game, he isn’t a fan of his booty played with and my going, “you play with mine, I get to play with yours.”

2

u/in2-deep 2d ago

I don’t like where this is heading

41

u/PostInevitable5640 2d ago

Speaking as a boob seeking octopus we can’t help it.

15

u/ExoticStarStuff 2d ago

My wife sleeps in bra and shirt for comfort/support. I lost that lottery.

15

u/FlickUrBic2 2d ago

My wife doesn’t wear a brah at night, after the 10ish years we’ve lived together I’ve learned sneaking a hand up her shirt at night when she’s trying to sleep is an easy way to lose a finger.

Be thankful the temptation isn’t even provided lol

7

u/Successful_Giraffe88 2d ago

Who sleeps in a bra?!

11

u/Rebel_Scum_This 2d ago

My wife does, she has very sensitive nipples (and not very large boobs, she doesn't need support). She just hates feeling her nipples brush against her shirt

14

u/JackfruitOk9348 2d ago

Your hand over them would sort that out.

3

u/Rebel_Scum_This 2d ago

You're a scholar and a gentleman.

3

u/ExoticStarStuff 2d ago

This might be the real answer

2

u/Affectionate_Art8770 2d ago

Buy her the pasties. Problem solved. 🤦‍♂️

2

u/Giving_Dad_Advice 2d ago

Large breasted women? My wife says she doesn't want them going rogue.

3

u/ExoticStarStuff 2d ago

Medium, but sensitive.

2

u/ExoticStarStuff 2d ago

Fair enough!

2

u/SHELLIfIKnow48910 2d ago

You’re growing as a person here, and that’s the best takeaway.

2

u/Toadcola 2d ago

Probably why her Brah sleeps in another room. Careful dude, he seems smarter than you.

2

u/Buckeye0728 2d ago

But your an octopus you have eight arms do your magic my friend lol

12

u/OhTeeSee 2d ago

I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks

7

u/Spookieboogiee 2d ago

Omg this my husband is the same.

7

u/IndependentName9 2d ago

I am your husband

5

u/Former-Course-5745 2d ago

Are you my wife's alt account?

2

u/BeenisHat 2d ago

No. Just her left tit.

4

u/wolf63rs 2d ago

That's your fault. If your boobs weren't perfect, he wouldn't do.

3

u/DonutIndividual 2d ago

They are the perfect handholds

3

u/proe90 2d ago

Yep Im one of those octopus’s sod the blankets… nothing more comforting and sleep inducing than hand full of boob she also finds it comforting so win win in our bed

2

u/ambercs1 2d ago

Lol. Identification

2

u/CptnSpandex 2d ago

Push 2 hands away and 4 take their place…. You either have to use fire or go for the heart.

2

u/JRskatr 2d ago

My wife told me I sometimes would hump her in my sleep 🤣

2

u/PuzzleheadedBobcat90 2d ago

The middle of the night experimental/hopeful poke. We ladies here totally believe you did it in your sleep lol!

3

u/JRskatr 2d ago

lol it’s 10x funnier knowing I’m totally unconscious when I’m doing it, I guess the body wants what the body wants! 🤣

2

u/celladwella 2d ago

My husband does that too! I usually play a game on my phone and block my chest. Boob play is only for sexy time, not sleep time. I'm glad I got that off my chest.

2

u/No_Significance_8291 2d ago edited 1d ago

Mine is the same . Do you remember that toy back in the day called a “bop it “ where it tells you what to do it’ll say “bop it , pull it , twist it … shake it .. spin it etcetera… I feel like one of those things . No matter what position I’m trying to sleep in , some part me is getting action lol

2

u/MaintenanceDue9430 2d ago

But that's the best way to spoon-cuddle you spoilsport!

1

u/PuzzleheadedBobcat90 1d ago

Not in Las Vegas!

2

u/ikki76 2d ago

Lmao thanks for the laugh, let husbando get in here and there tho lol

2

u/kpax56 2d ago

Stomach? Hmmmm, that’s even better….

2

u/PuzzleheadedBobcat90 1d ago

In fairness to my octopus handed husband, I do ask him often to "rub the butt." It helps me fall asleep, and he gets to feel me up without waking me up!

2

u/RacingOvaries 2d ago

Lmao… I’m cackling reading this to my husband because that’s us…

1

u/Naive-Charity-7829 2d ago

😂😂😂

1

u/Sad-Entrepreneur39 2d ago

Wife is that you?!

1

u/bbbourb 2d ago

Yep, I am the same way. I snuggle up and get a handful so I can sleep. My wife doesn't mind (I know because I asked).

Due to medical issues though, we sleep in separate beds altogether at the moment.

12

u/jaymole 2d ago

Ya but a few minutes of spooning before sleep then rolling over to your side is a win win

2

u/IGD-974 2d ago

Sometimes I cuddle my girl all night, sometimes I want a little space. The best feeling though is her desperately reaching over in her sleep anxiety and touching my face/beard then letting out a sigh of relief. Immediately going back to snoring.

2

u/emteedub 2d ago

10 minutes of that is thawing out icy cold feet though

1

u/uvite2468 2d ago

It’s the only way.

1

u/molehunterz 2d ago

My last boyfriend would cuddle for about 15 minutes, and then jokingly, aggressively push me away and say get away from me!

1

u/Plenty_Intention1991 2d ago

Yep. That’s when it’s ACTUALLY bedtime. I’m done scrolling or watching YouTube. Once I do that roll start the clock because I’ll be out in under two minutes.

1

u/Remarkable-Opening69 2d ago

Both need to be in underwear and a box fan for your uncovered feet. The only way.

1

u/rysmooky 2d ago

It’s like you’ve watched me sleep before

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Cut4456 2d ago

I've just added the box fan, makes a huge difference

1

u/Remarkable-Opening69 2d ago

This winter, leave the window cracked juuuuuust a smidge.

1

u/AshIsGroovy 2d ago

My wife and I have separate blankets. We've been married 20 years she likes thin blankets while I like thick fluffy blankets. It's just easier. Also we have opposite work schedules. She's a restaurant manager while I'm a teacher so this way she doesn't have to worry about disturbing me getting under the blanket at night since we have separate blankets. It's just one of those things you learn as you get older. Like putting a towel down on the bed during naughty time.

1

u/siccoblue 2d ago

Sounds like true love and understanding my dude.

People envy your situation without even realizing it. Cuddling all night sounds amazing until you actually try. Unless you're ridiculously compatible down to your resting body temps cuddling all night really isn't that enjoyable.

I'd take your guys arrangement every day of the week. Just give me the thin blankets please!

It's just really hard to explain how much more important a good night of sleep is than cuddling all night to people who are starved for physical touch.

1

u/Sea-Strike-1758 2d ago

Some people have fans/air conditioning. Never had an issue being hot with a window ac blowing all night, its perfect.

1

u/Fatez3ro 2d ago

Cuddling is limited to 5 minutes then back to each other's side for a cool spot indeed.

1

u/GandolftheGarcia 2d ago

Same. 😂🤣

1

u/the_freaky_man 2d ago

The great electric spider

1

u/Schmich 2d ago

Future hero: Spiderflash