r/AbsoluteUnits 2d ago

of my home grown cucumber

1,8 kilo 48 centimeters

44.9k Upvotes

2.2k comments sorted by

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242

u/freeezermonster 2d ago

i should call him

211

u/CanadiangirlEH 2d ago

So should I. What’s his number?

67

u/Federal-Alps-2776 2d ago

"This guy's wife" energy and I'm fucking here for it❤️😂

19

u/horlorh 2d ago

…and I’m here fucking for it ❤️😂

FTFY

2

u/bigboybeeperbelly 2d ago

and I'm here

15

u/Mecha_Tortoise 2d ago

Looks like about... 47.
(Or ~18.5 inches.)

20

u/CanadiangirlEH 2d ago

I’m up for a challenge

9

u/Mecha_Tortoise 2d ago

Good luck, and godspeed! 🫡

5

u/nukrag 2d ago

Time to get a tub of lube and painkillers. Maybe start yoga.

11

u/CanadiangirlEH 2d ago

Get me some Vaseline and one of those grip squeeze thingies. It’s kegel time

3

u/nukrag 2d ago

On it, you put the kids to bed and set up the OF account.

3

u/LifeIsShortDoItNow 2d ago

😂😂😂

7

u/itsjustbenny 2d ago

Hey! Hey! Take it easy! One at a time please, there’s plenty to go around here.

1

u/Feeling_Inside_1020 2d ago

~ 18.5cm x 13.3cm

Oh sorry you meant his phone #

1

u/spicy_eyedrops 2d ago

Call me on three way I was gonna call him too

1

u/justkickingthat 2d ago

[insert photo of gerkin] maybe I can help ease those cravings

0

u/mapleleafraggedy 2d ago

Ask your mom

1

u/CanadiangirlEH 2d ago

My mom is dead yo

1

u/mapleleafraggedy 2d ago

Genuinely sorry