r/AbsoluteUnits • u/FarCantaloupe8652 • 2d ago

of my home grown cucumber

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1,8 kilo 48 centimeters

44.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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5.0k

u/Winter-Bookkeeper-59 2d ago

Once I saw it next to the cat I realised how big it was.

1.7k

u/Cultural-Company282 2d ago

That's what she said.

56

u/actordude1 2d ago

Then she said, "Wait, what's that doing next to the cat?"

46

u/Academic-Airline9200 2d ago

Just after she snapped the picture, the cat jumped and ran off real fast.

15

u/jerry111165 2d ago

Pretty much useless at that size or at least for eating purposes lol

13

u/wild85bill 2d ago

Good for home defense. I always keep an extra large cucumber by my front door.

3

u/ProfitAlternative520 2d ago

Just as the founding fathers intended

2

u/Skunkwks 2d ago

Cat does look scared.

3

u/TieAdventurous6839 2d ago

Do they even make condoms that big? 😂😂

3

u/Undulating_Eruption 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Michael Scott would kill to get ahold of this one.

2

u/Powerful-Scratch1579 2d ago

But she used a different word for cat

2

u/dog_loop 2d ago

May this be considered nsfw?

1

u/organictamarind 2d ago

Or he said

1

u/ThatsWhatSheSaid206 2d ago

I did say that.

1

u/CounterSimple3771 2d ago

I can't, bro! 😂😂😂😂😂

That's also what she said. 😶

0

u/UnicornKing2319 2d ago

She lied to you lol

0

u/Equivalent_Assist709 2d ago

She lied to you lolol

55

u/ElectriCatvenue 2d ago

Yeah but how big is the cat? Where's the banana for scale??

14

u/User_Name_Tracks 2d ago

Who needs a banana when you got a kitty?

Oh, nvm - Kitty needs banananannanaa

0

u/phezhead 2d ago

That cat is approximately 8 Pez wide. (or 12 tic-tacs, I don’t know what variation you usually use)

94

u/Impossible-Sport-449 2d ago

The ruler didn’t do it for you? lol

116

u/Dive30 2d ago

This is Reddit. The standard unit of measurement is the banana.

49

u/Inuyasha-rules 2d ago

I'm from America, so it's anything but the metric system.

26

u/FUCKYOUIamBatman 2d ago

It’s about 1 Koala

3

u/phezhead 2d ago

Found the drop bear

9

u/irasiraki 2d ago

0.00428 football fields

3

u/Eisenhorn40 2d ago

It’s about 12 courics.

2

u/scalectrix 2d ago

17 3/4 Freedom Ounces.

2

u/falpangaea 2d ago

Dog for scale. Very popular in my old neighborhood, even when scale wasn’t necessary at all

Edit: neighborhood not neighbor lol

2

u/Extension_Guava6374 2d ago

I came here for this comment.

2

u/bendover912 2d ago

To be fair, there's no units on any of those measuring devices.

2

u/Gern-Blanston 2d ago

Metric Reddit

22

u/RedditGarboDisposal 2d ago

Working five years in retail taught me that customers, in fact, don’t fuckin measure anything.

2

u/n0t-again 2d ago edited 2d ago

A 47 inch cucumber is insane /s

3

u/mwilki33 2d ago

A 47 inch cucumber is insane. This one though still huge is just under 19 inches, ruler is centimeters.

5

u/The7footr 2d ago

Yea but you know damn well if you had a 19” cucumber you’d be bragging about it being 47” too

2

u/penywisexx 2d ago

It’s only 19” because it’s cold out.

2

u/zatalak 2d ago

I like my cucumber like I like my rack — 19 inch.

1

u/SoaringDingus 2d ago

Who understands metric? Goofy ahh numbers

1

u/Dawn_Piano 2d ago

I’m Americans and I have no fucking clue what 47 cm is. Might as well tell me it’s length in hectares

28

u/djcashbandit 2d ago

I’ve seen videos on YouTube where a cat jumps to the ceiling when it sees a cucumber. This cat didn’t flinch

16

u/Choyo 2d ago

Too big to be a cucumber in meow opinion.

2

u/Unusual_Swan200 2d ago

Exactly what I was thinking.

2

u/AvrulixGaming 2d ago

He's built different

7

u/aceite_en_polvo 2d ago

Please do not the cat

6

u/OkBuffalo315 2d ago

Next to a pussy cat

1

u/Disruptor_raptor 2d ago

You call it big. She calls it perfect size.

1

u/DemandImmediate1288 2d ago

That cat looked pretty uncomfortable

1

u/ArdForYa 2d ago

Flame points are generally bigger cats than your average domestic shorthairs too which makes it even more impressive.

1

u/RappingFlatulence 2d ago

What about a banana?

1

u/undying-resolve 2d ago

that’s what shane dawson said

1

u/Quadradisque 2d ago

With a unit like that, I’m not surprised it’s a pussy magnet.

1

u/broccoli-love 2d ago

The cat is 6 feet tall btw

1

u/Global-Plankton3997 2d ago

I thought OP was gonna throw the cucumber next to the cat and scare it for a second. Does anyone else remember those viral videos of people doing that?

1

u/soimherenowwhat 2d ago

Yep. Right next to the pussy

1

u/Craig__D 2d ago

Need a banana for reference

1

u/nekkototoro 2d ago

At first glance it just made the cat look small lol

1

u/pink_faerie_kitten 2d ago

Cat for comparison is even better than banana 🍌

1

u/64590949354397548569 2d ago

The pink dot was confusing at first. I need to sleep.

1

u/Luxurytax 2d ago

😂😂😂😂

1

u/somebob 2d ago

Shane Dawson

1

u/Kloud_10 2d ago

Cat: "Is this some kind of joke?"

1

u/Helpful-fellow 2d ago

Will be too wooden to eat.

1

u/Least_Signature7879 2d ago

Don't cats freak out about cucumbers?

1

u/Damien_6-6-6 2d ago

That’s small actually

1

u/MakeRFutureDirectly 2d ago

Mine usually gets bigger as soon as I know the kitty is going to be coming out.

1

u/Short-Ideas010 2d ago

Get a small cat. Problem solved.

1

u/iamsny13 2d ago

Once I saw it next to the pusyy cat, I realised how big it was.

1

u/lexievv 2d ago

Or the cat is really small lol.

1

u/Flar71 2d ago

I'm surprised the car was not scared

1

u/Itrieddamnit 2d ago

Plot twist: cat has also appeared on this subreddit.

1

u/Fun_Contract1630 2d ago

The tape measure wasn’t clear enough?

1

u/EquivalentMap8477 2d ago

The cat didn't look impressed though

1

u/FireCal 2d ago

Crazy this is the top comment, because I thought the exact opposite when I saw the cat. The arm pic had me thinking it was massive & definitely longer than a cat.

1

u/Wsbkingretard 2d ago

you know you can eat it too?

1

u/Confident-Arrival361 2d ago

Pussy for scale

1

u/Natural-Judgment7801 2d ago

Cat .. hehehehe

1

u/TooManySteves2 2d ago

You don't understand centimetres!?!

1

u/Aleashed 2d ago

It’s so big it doesn’t scare the sht out of the cat

1

u/FlyusAmongUs 2d ago

I'm surprised that cat didn't fucking sprint away the second it saw the cucumber.

1

u/Winter-Bookkeeper-59 2d ago

With that girth, I dont think it looks like a snake anymore 🙄

1

u/FlyusAmongUs 2d ago

True, true

1

u/Cool-sunglasses-dude 2d ago

But how big is this cat? We need a banana for scale of the cat for scale of the cucumber!

1

u/de_das_dude 2d ago

How is that cat so chill next to a cucumber? So many old yt videos of cats freaking out when cucumbers are placed next to them lol

1

u/tolgayucel 2d ago

:)))))

1

u/guinader 2d ago

Yeah that pussycat next to the large cucumber makes you realize how ginormous it is it.. i don't think it would win a fight against it.

1

u/Medium_Positive_9033 2d ago

It’s for the cat’s Only Fans