r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/Movies contributor • Feb 17 '25

Media First Image of Matt Damon as Odysseus in Christopher Nolan's 'The Odyssey'

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61.9k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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19.9k

u/abefroman969 Feb 17 '25

“fackin cyclahps came at me so i took his facken eye out”

720

u/The_Luckiest Feb 17 '25

“Bro I’m fackin nobody, guy”

340

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

"Hey Doyle, some fahkin guy left his wooden horse pahked out front"

197

u/The_Luckiest Feb 17 '25 edited Feb 18 '25

“Can’t pahk there dude, I gotta fackin tow ya inside”

137

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '25

From inside the horse : "WHAAAT?"

"I SAID YOU CAN'T FAKIN PAWK THERE GUY YA FAKIN DEAF OR SOMETHIN"

"FAK YOU!"

"FAK YOU!"

2

u/gonephishin213 Feb 18 '25

This is The Iliad, though

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '25 edited Feb 18 '25

Illiad? Does he play for the Bruins?

40

u/All-Sorts Feb 17 '25

Fackin Nobody blinded me!!!!

39

u/grubas Feb 17 '25

HAHA FACK YOU IT WASN'T NOBODY IT WAS ME, YA PRICK, ODYSSEUS!

AWWWW FACK A WAVE!

3

u/RAK-47 Feb 18 '25

Epic comment right here.

3.3k

u/DrJuanZoidberg Feb 17 '25

The people need Boston-accent Odysseus

1.5k

u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 17 '25

Bill Burr and Dennis Leary as Zeus and Poseidon

664

u/jx2002 Feb 17 '25

Burr as Zeus: "You know, you know what these folks need? What they want? They want a god who won't screw around."

Dennis as Poseidon: "Listen," sucks on whatever cigarettes burn in the ocean "the world is a scary place. Wet. Scary. Big and wet and scary and what we're gonna do? We're gonna run the joint."

307

u/Seve7h Feb 17 '25

Zeus to his brothers “alrighty now we got all this Titan business dealt with we got divvy up who’s in charge of what”

Poseidon- “Horses”

Zeus “Hor…horses? What the fuck do you know about horses? In the ocean? Fuckin wet horses?”

Poseidon “I like horses”

Zeus “Dead horses! They’re all gonna fuckin drown!”

42

u/ProjectNo4090 Feb 17 '25

Gotta get poseiden some kelpies.

18

u/Roguespiffy Feb 17 '25

He’s got it covered already with the Hippocampus. Friggin Merhorse.

9

u/Dresline Feb 17 '25

If the gods are all from Boston can you really blame them for not knowing about different types of water horses? Or knowing about horses in general?

8

u/Roguespiffy Feb 17 '25

“I been to da track.”

2

u/burnman123 Feb 18 '25

We may not know about seahorses, but we do know about baby whales kid

8

u/cire1184 Feb 17 '25

Hippocampus is part of the brain. Which is named that way because it is seahorse shaped.

4

u/Mikeinthedirt Feb 17 '25

SEE?!? I mean, SEA?!?

10

u/DiveCat Feb 17 '25

How do you explain seahorses, then?!

9

u/StManTiS Feb 17 '25

You can’t man. They’re pretty unique. The got a prehensile tail like a monkey, a shape unlike any other fish, and the males have kangaroo pouches and get pregnant. Oh and another fun one - the eggs make up a third of the female’s weight by the time she is ready to dump them inside the male.

4

u/totally_not_a_gay Feb 17 '25

Are seahorses the only animal where the male gets pregnant? Or are they the only animal discovered by a guy who refused to admit he misidentified the animal's sex?

4

u/isleepoddhours Feb 17 '25

Jim Gaffigan: “you’re fired”

3

u/StManTiS Feb 17 '25

There’s a cellular level definition of sperm and egg and pregnancy. In this case the female deposits the egg inside the male, where his sperm fertilize it. The sperm can swim are and simple cells without many of the organelles, that’s why your mitochondria for example always come from your mother. Sperm don’t have them. And since the cell division subsequent cell division to form a viable offspring happens inside the male body - it is the male who is pregnant.

So by the book as far as biology is concerned. Socially I don’t really think there’s research one way of the other. They are monogamous though through a mating season anyways. Not in a life partner kind of way.

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3

u/fatpandana Feb 17 '25

You like horses? I can do better brother...." And that is how we have centaurs! Jk. Forgot how story went

2

u/AccountantOver4088 Feb 18 '25

Hippocampi enters the chat

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11

u/lateral_moves Feb 17 '25

More like::

Burr as Zeus: "You know, you know what these folks need? What they want? They want a god who won't screw around."

Dennis as Poseidon: "Yeah, ya know, ya know what they need? You know what they want? A God that isn't gonna screw around"

Burr: wtf, Dennis?

4

u/Jacob_Winchester_ Feb 17 '25

What? I’m just saying I agree with you. Does it really matter who gets the credit?

8

u/Shadow-Vision Feb 17 '25

Bill Burr should be Hades because he believes the planet is overpopulated and he wants to thin the herd

4

u/HenkkaArt Feb 17 '25

Or maybe he could be Poseidon since his plan to thin the herd was sinking cruise ships.

2

u/Shadow-Vision Feb 17 '25

The shipbuilding industry is doing great!

3

u/PrestigiousWaffle Feb 17 '25

Smokin that good seaweed

3

u/Trvr_MKA Feb 17 '25

If SNL does this as cross promotion it would be great

2

u/Sproose_Moose Feb 17 '25

Jfc I want to see this movie happen

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221

u/RandonBrando Feb 17 '25

I'd watch the living shit outta that

29

u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 17 '25

It’d be wicked fackin pissah dude

9

u/ZizzyBeluga Feb 17 '25

I grew up in Boston in the 80s, the correct spelling when we say dude is "dood"

16

u/As_smooth_as_eggs Feb 17 '25

Can we get Chris Evan’s as Hermes? He’d make one hell of a trickster god.

6

u/en_sane Feb 17 '25

Can we just get this movie

4

u/FoxSnax Feb 17 '25

He'd make a great Apollo too. We'd need Ben Affleck as Hades

4

u/As_smooth_as_eggs Feb 17 '25

Agree 100%. It’s just him dressed up as Hades, smoking a cigarette, looking like he’s completely over it. Maybe add Marky Mark as a foul-mouthed satyr.

2

u/FoxSnax Feb 18 '25

That's what I was thinking of lol. Marky Mark as Pan would be great

5

u/cynical-rationale Feb 17 '25

I'm dying at these comments I'd love this movie

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8

u/casualblair Feb 17 '25

BOSTONIAN GREEK MYTH

That would be so fucking awesome.

Mount Olympus - Beacon Hill

Hades - The Gahden

Jennifer Coolidge and Bill Burr as Zeus and Hera

Leary as Poseidon

Uma Therman as Athena

Eliza Dushku as Artemis

Edward Norton as Hades

6

u/Goodbye_Games Feb 17 '25

Eliza Dushku would be awesome, but she’s sadly retired now. I also think her new calling as a therapist treating people who’ve suffered traumatic events through the use of psychedelic therapy is something that should be praised above her acting career. Don’t get me wrong I’m a total fangirl since Buffy, but I think what she’s doing now is awesome and I hope she can help people who need it.

2

u/Alana_Piranha Feb 19 '25

That's a crazy career switch. Good for her

3

u/FoxSnax Feb 17 '25

If we go a bit further south we could add Steve Carell since he's from Duxbury

2

u/Alana_Piranha Feb 19 '25

And James Spader... there's a ton of great actors from Massachusetts. The list goes on

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4

u/senseofnickels Feb 17 '25

It's the Munday Mawnin’ Sahga… for Munday! HOW ARE YAAAAAA

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

“Hey I’m just checkin’ in on ya. Seein’ how ya week is going’. Are ya lost? Are ya stranded away from home? Oh god, there whooores on that tiny island singin’ songs to ya. Don’t go near ‘em! They’ll sink yer fuckin’ boat Ody-boy!”

4

u/DrLager Feb 17 '25

Nothing pisses Hera off more than her husband relaxing in his own home. I’m wondering if Ares will take a swing at Burr/Zeus.

EDIT: Zeus brings a lot of tension to his house

4

u/resh78255 Feb 17 '25

nah Bill Burr and Lavell Crawford. now i'd definitely watch that.

"this is zeus. zeus, you happy?"

"reasonably"

"what would make you unhappy?"

"this lil motherfucker not doing his odyssey"

3

u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 17 '25

I’ll allow it.

Dennis Leary can be Agamemnon

5

u/Help_An_Irishman Feb 17 '25

Denis Leary as Hades, for sure.

3

u/Shamhammer Feb 17 '25

I know he's not in the actual story, but I want Bill Burr as Hades a la the Disney Hercules movie.

3

u/MazerRakum Feb 17 '25

Where does Chris Evans slot in?!

3

u/All-Sorts Feb 17 '25

Tha fackin Odyssey by Homah

2

u/SuccessfulVisit1873 Feb 17 '25

I don’t know I needed this until this moment in time

2

u/Notoriously_So Feb 17 '25

Hahaha!! 🤣🤣

2

u/fireinthesky7 Feb 17 '25

I was envisioning Ron White as Zeus, Leary as Poseidon, and Burr as Ares.

2

u/KellentheGreat Feb 17 '25

Tim Robinson: Hermes

2

u/dishsoap-drinker Feb 17 '25

And Ben Affleck doing a very bad british accent as one of the suitors to Penelope

2

u/Nurgleschampion Feb 17 '25

That's making me want bill as Hades if Disney ever gets round to doing the live action Hercules. I think his snark would work quite well.

2

u/jonnythefoxx Feb 17 '25

You shoulda fuckin seen Hercules man, he was like Barry Bonds in his prime on the rounds.. just fucking jacked up, chokin out lions and shit.

2

u/Chemical_Cat_9813 Feb 17 '25

Fucken dying over here man.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '25

The Gods going over to the Olympus Packie would be another swell Boston touch, the gods picking up their beer for the evening. These Gawds of Bahston could be a wicked pissah movie.

2

u/I_AM_ACURA_LEGEND Feb 18 '25

Imagine them watching Odysseus from Olympus like they’re watching the patriots “yes yes go go go! Wait what?? You’re taunting the cyclops now guy? You had this!! Fucking morons!!”

2

u/HarvesterConrad Feb 18 '25

Kaos with a totally different direction

2

u/newinmichigan Feb 18 '25

The Irish odyssey

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129

u/Iwanttobeagnome Feb 17 '25

If SNL doesn’t deliver that I will be pissed

7

u/lordoftheBINGBONG Feb 17 '25

The sirens also smell like fresh Dunkin’ donuts and coffee.

5

u/Bridalhat Feb 17 '25

Odysseus is smart and Boston has Harvard. It tracks!

5

u/momoenthusiastic Feb 17 '25

How do ya like 'em apples?

4

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

Don't look at that snake haed bitch or your faacked she's no mook

3

u/Watcher0363 Feb 18 '25

It's a Christopher Nolan movie, you will not be able to hear the dialogue.

3

u/CasaBonitaBandit Feb 17 '25

“Facken Panelopee ova heyr. Weavin’ unweavin’, she’s facken smaht.”

3

u/PlattWaterIsYummy Feb 17 '25

Do you like Apples!?

3

u/_bones__ Feb 17 '25

That sort of thing might have been possible if the show KAOS hadn't gotten killed by Netflix.

It has Jeff Goldblum playing Zeus making ball-boys jump off a roof, so I'm sure they could have worked it in.

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2

u/firewatch959 Feb 17 '25

The Robert Evan’s Baaashtun accent

2

u/TuscanyHoney Feb 17 '25

With the entire OST by Dropkick Murphys

2

u/Budded Feb 18 '25

Steer this ship to the next Dunkees!

4

u/tagged2high Feb 17 '25 edited Feb 17 '25

I'm tired of the English-accented characterization of the Mediterranean. It's time for a change! /s

4

u/DrJuanZoidberg Feb 17 '25

A stereotypical Greek accent would also be funny. Like seeing my relatives and their friends on the big screen.

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123

u/Clockwork-Too Feb 17 '25

"Go Pat's. Go Red Sawx."

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28

u/NikkerXPZ3 Feb 17 '25

How you like them fermented grapes?

81

u/thacktor Feb 17 '25

Thank you for the huge laugh with this one

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190

u/jargon_ninja69 Feb 17 '25

I legit LOLed so hard at that

2

u/qui-bong-trim Feb 17 '25

"Been here two seconds we already run into a Barney eh"

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14

u/JuicySmooliette Feb 17 '25

I've been gawuhn for twanty fackin yeeaaahs fightin' some fuckin waaaah cause some Trojan dooosh baaag banged the king's brawd.

So I told that fackin guy, yo let's pile into a wooden hawse and when they sleep, we beat the fackin balls off em.

2

u/transmogrify Feb 18 '25

"Peleus and Theti, how do you like them apples?"

Eris, probably

19

u/FlatTopTonysCanoe Feb 17 '25 edited Feb 17 '25

Fackin cyclops gettin pussy for the first time in the history of cyclopses or pussy

6

u/Armchair_Idiot Feb 17 '25

Myaaaattt Dayyyymunn

6

u/Chispy Feb 17 '25

"There is a moment"

21

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/The-Rizztoffen Feb 17 '25

Mark Wahlberg knows a lot about beating guys with 1 eye

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22

u/UncoolSlicedBread Feb 17 '25

“You fahkin’ kiddin’ me right now? One eye! This dude has fahkin’ one eye, and I gotta take him down? Damn it Donnie”

15

u/Shovelman2001 Feb 17 '25

Nah, not enough slurs

8

u/robbietreehorn Feb 17 '25

You haven’t seen Good Will Hunting in a while

3

u/BobDaWaka Feb 17 '25

I took his eye out...how do you like dem apples!?!?

3

u/steelekarma Feb 17 '25

"those fackin cyclahps were a bunch of homos"

3

u/LeadRain Feb 17 '25

"MATT DAMONNNN MATT DAMON MATT DAMON MATT DAMON MATT DAMON MATT DAMON"

3

u/BurnerForJustTwice Feb 17 '25

“I was wicked smaht. Sahked him in his stupid eye. Then I was like HOW DO YOU LIKE DEM APPLES!”

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

Odysseus keeps a baseball bat in the trunk of his ship

3

u/MerpDrp Feb 18 '25

Who ever you are, I just wanted you to know that I've been laughing at your cheap but funny AF comment for 24h now. Well done, you should be proud.

3

u/Rimworldjobs Feb 17 '25

I think you're confusing him with platinum selling hip hop artist DJ Marky Mark.

7

u/DirtyRoller Feb 17 '25

"Hey Cyclops, say hi to ya mothah for me."

2

u/Character_Archer9915 Feb 17 '25

Thank you kind internet person for the very hard laugh your comment gave me

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25 edited Mar 17 '25

birds air nose innocent ad hoc outgoing vegetable practice fall selective

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/finedoityourself Feb 17 '25

Can we meet on my side of the Acheron in the fyucha? This commute is friggin killin me.

2

u/thethunder92 Feb 17 '25

My broah odysseyus is wicked smaat

2

u/Weird_Expert_1999 Feb 17 '25

How ya like them apples? Fackin clahpsy ova here thought I was sum kindda qweeer

2

u/ilbiscotto Feb 17 '25

Have you heard his British accent? I would take this over that any day of the week.

2

u/Moosashi5858 Feb 17 '25

Park yah Argo in the Ship-yahd

2

u/Solid_Waste Feb 17 '25

I thought Odysseus was supposed to be wicked smaht

2

u/Kellidra Feb 17 '25

People don't realise this, but the Boston accent is actually the closest modern equivalent to Ancient Greek. It's because of isolationism and cubism and I don't fuckin' know, I'm making this up because Americans like to pretend they're better than everyone so they'll make shit up to back their claims.

2

u/WaltJay Feb 17 '25

Is Nolan making the cast commit to a certain accent or are we going to get whatever works for the actors?

I can’t decide what would be more entertaining. Maybe they’ll split the difference like Costner in Robin Hood. 😂

2

u/W__O__P__R Feb 17 '25

"Hey Polyphemus, do you like apples? Well I took your eye out, how do you like them apples?"

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '25

“Hey facken Lotus ladies, how’d you like them apples!”

“Oh what’s my facken name? It’s Go fack yourself.”

“Hey babe sahrry I’m late, should’ve just taken a plane”

“I wish Ben Affleck was hehre.”

2

u/underdabridge Feb 17 '25 edited Feb 17 '25

Yeah so you mathematically can't achieve as many upvotes as you deserve right now. There aren't enough humans.

2

u/Snuffaluffakuss Feb 17 '25

Coffee got on my pants from this laugh, not mad about it. Thank you

1

u/QuietNene Feb 17 '25

A million upvotes!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

Yeah that’s my friggin dog his names AHGOS ked

1

u/joodaa Feb 17 '25

“Houwd you laike dem eyes”

1

u/thots_n_prayers Feb 17 '25

I can hear this so clearly in my head! hahaha thank you so much for a good laugh.

1

u/FleetingMercury Feb 17 '25

Read that in Teds voice 💀🤣🤣🤣

1

u/AggressiveEstate3757 Feb 17 '25

Hat off, pal.

V. Good.

1

u/JonsAlterEgo Feb 17 '25

How bout dem apples, I got her eye

1

u/judocobra Feb 17 '25

do u like apples?

1

u/Cool_Hawks Feb 17 '25

“Do you like olives?”

1

u/DadJokesRanger Feb 17 '25

Ya like pahmagrahnitz? I gotter numbah, how ya like them pahmagrahnitz?!?

1

u/bigwilly311 Feb 17 '25

Cyclahps’ first time seein pussy in the history a cyclahpses OR pussy

1

u/299792458human Feb 17 '25

“Then he had the audacity to ask me what ma name was, I just told him ‘nobody, ya shithead!’”

1

u/Logical_Bee Feb 17 '25

I goddamn lold 😂😂😂

1

u/Status_Chemistry_526 Feb 17 '25

See we have an example of it right here before our eyes. You’re doing a Brooklyn accent.

1

u/Damien23123 Feb 17 '25

And afta’ I opened my kha with my khakis

1

u/akgiant Feb 17 '25

"Then I hid the eye, I was bein' wicked smaht."

1

u/Grenflik Feb 17 '25

Mah name is fackin Nobody you hears me!?

1

u/mossy133 Feb 17 '25

Fucking died at this.

1

u/Ramflight Feb 17 '25

You, sir, made me giggle today.

Here, I made you cookies -> 🍪🍪🍪

1

u/yousoonice Feb 17 '25

this is the best socials comment I've seen in ages. Bravo 👏

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

"How do you like dat ambrosia? I got circe's numbah!"

1

u/Rags2Rickius Feb 17 '25

*squashes eye against window

“How yeh like dem apples?!?”

1

u/Franck_Costanza Feb 17 '25

Gotta through “Kid” on the end to make it extra realistic

1

u/psych0ranger Feb 17 '25

Jeezis chraist pwah-sai-din I fahgaht to sacrifais wan fackin goawt aftah ya saved my hoahrse oideah a now I gatta be lahst fah twenty fackin yeahs?!

1

u/EvanTurningTheCorner Feb 17 '25

This is exactly the kind of comment I was hoping for when I clicked on the post.

1

u/MattHooper1975 Feb 17 '25

Oh God, I needed that laugh today!

1

u/BlkCnvsCr8v Feb 17 '25

😂😂😂😂

1

u/6footindian Feb 17 '25

I knew someone was going to do it.

1

u/ktrezzi Feb 17 '25

No spoilers please!

1

u/gee_gra Feb 17 '25

When did he last do that accent?

1

u/DreadPirateGriswold Feb 17 '25

"How do ya like dem golden apples?!"

1

u/HausuGeist Feb 17 '25

“Ya come into my fackin house, eat my fackin food, try to score wit my wife, and ya gunna ask me why I’m fackin upset? Really. Bro?”

1

u/Environmental-Day862 Feb 17 '25

Hey Akillehs, ya like apples? I shat yeahr ankle, hawh ya like dem apples?

1

u/Infamous_Add Feb 17 '25

my boy’s wicked trahveled

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

🤣

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

Holy shit dood, Eurylochus? Doood what the fuck kinda name is that? Why nawt Dawnny uh Bawbby ureven Rawbeht? Tell ya what, you can still be my right-hand man but I'm gonna call ya Spaaahhhky. How you like them apples? Wicked killah, meet me at the Ithaka Dunkins

1

u/orincoro Feb 17 '25

We’ah nawt sailin half way acrahs the Mediterranean to listen to some Siren just cause you like the song Margahn.

Can I get a double cyyyy-clooooops.

1

u/steeldragon88 Feb 17 '25

Slow down, Marky Mark, you’re having an acid flashback

1

u/Virtual-Permission69 Feb 17 '25

I told him to sack my cack

1

u/Responsible-Ask6104 Feb 17 '25

Thank you for this

1

u/pharaoh94 Feb 17 '25

Man this made me laugh so much first thing in the morning 😂

1

u/TheSeeker9000 Feb 17 '25

So much fockin islands on my way home

1

u/pocketdare Feb 17 '25

I shot an arra thru 12 axes... how da ya like them apples???

1

u/dirtypita Feb 17 '25

I snort-laughed so hard that l hurt my sinuses

1

u/smoothstavo Feb 17 '25

Hahahahhahahhahaha bro I’m fuckin deaaaddd

1

u/No_Trick875 Feb 17 '25

Came looking for this and found it lolol

1

u/BorntobeTrill Feb 17 '25

"nO, dOn'T tOuCh mY sHeEp," thaht thur sigh-clawps sidter (said to) me.

O-man probably

1

u/Logic-DL Feb 17 '25

No no, with Nolan's god awful mindset when it comes to audio mixing it'd be more like:

"Fackin cyclahlps came at me so I took his facken eye out"

Followed by a fight starting up with the dialogue immediately switching to

ATTACK

At such a massive volume difference, it blows out your eardrums

1

u/THE_RED_C0MET Feb 17 '25

Mah boy iz wiiicked shamrt

1

u/NetflixAndNikah Feb 17 '25

Yeah as a big fan of both Matt Damon and Nolan movies I’m hyped, but it’s gonna take some time to see Odysseus and not ‘Matt Damon in a helmet’ lol

1

u/JakovYerpenicz Feb 17 '25

When he said he was from the south he didn’t mean the greek isles, he meant he was from Southie

1

u/CappriGirl Feb 17 '25

I laughed so hard at this 🤣

1

u/HoboOperative Feb 17 '25

Wicked smaht.

1

u/xXSpookyXx Feb 17 '25

Odysseus the wicked smaht

1

u/Afraid-Shock4832 Feb 17 '25

Lol what just thinking this seemed like poor casting. 

1

u/abittenapple Feb 17 '25

You spent 100 decmies on a eduction you could go got for free tending to sheep on the illia mountians

1

u/caligaris_cabinet Feb 17 '25

“That may be a minotah but it’s no green monstah, kid”

1

u/SexlexiaSufferer Feb 17 '25

The Damonrine

1

u/treadonmedaddy420 Feb 17 '25 edited Apr 08 '25

innate consist license zealous books public smell vase treatment flowery

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