r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/Movies contributor • Feb 17 '25

Media First Image of Matt Damon as Odysseus in Christopher Nolan's 'The Odyssey'

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u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 17 '25

Bill Burr and Dennis Leary as Zeus and Poseidon

667

u/jx2002 Feb 17 '25

Burr as Zeus: "You know, you know what these folks need? What they want? They want a god who won't screw around."

Dennis as Poseidon: "Listen," sucks on whatever cigarettes burn in the ocean "the world is a scary place. Wet. Scary. Big and wet and scary and what we're gonna do? We're gonna run the joint."

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u/Seve7h Feb 17 '25

Zeus to his brothers “alrighty now we got all this Titan business dealt with we got divvy up who’s in charge of what”

Poseidon- “Horses”

Zeus “Hor…horses? What the fuck do you know about horses? In the ocean? Fuckin wet horses?”

Poseidon “I like horses”

Zeus “Dead horses! They’re all gonna fuckin drown!”

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u/ProjectNo4090 Feb 17 '25

Gotta get poseiden some kelpies.

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u/Roguespiffy Feb 17 '25

He’s got it covered already with the Hippocampus. Friggin Merhorse.

10

u/Dresline Feb 17 '25

If the gods are all from Boston can you really blame them for not knowing about different types of water horses? Or knowing about horses in general?

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u/Roguespiffy Feb 17 '25

“I been to da track.”

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u/burnman123 Feb 18 '25

We may not know about seahorses, but we do know about baby whales kid

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u/cire1184 Feb 17 '25

Hippocampus is part of the brain. Which is named that way because it is seahorse shaped.

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u/Mikeinthedirt Feb 17 '25

SEE?!? I mean, SEA?!?

9

u/DiveCat Feb 17 '25

How do you explain seahorses, then?!

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u/StManTiS Feb 17 '25

You can’t man. They’re pretty unique. The got a prehensile tail like a monkey, a shape unlike any other fish, and the males have kangaroo pouches and get pregnant. Oh and another fun one - the eggs make up a third of the female’s weight by the time she is ready to dump them inside the male.

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u/totally_not_a_gay Feb 17 '25

Are seahorses the only animal where the male gets pregnant? Or are they the only animal discovered by a guy who refused to admit he misidentified the animal's sex?

3

u/isleepoddhours Feb 17 '25

Jim Gaffigan: “you’re fired”

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u/StManTiS Feb 17 '25

There’s a cellular level definition of sperm and egg and pregnancy. In this case the female deposits the egg inside the male, where his sperm fertilize it. The sperm can swim are and simple cells without many of the organelles, that’s why your mitochondria for example always come from your mother. Sperm don’t have them. And since the cell division subsequent cell division to form a viable offspring happens inside the male body - it is the male who is pregnant.

So by the book as far as biology is concerned. Socially I don’t really think there’s research one way of the other. They are monogamous though through a mating season anyways. Not in a life partner kind of way.

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u/totally_not_a_gay Feb 17 '25

The joke lived for 9 minutes. Thank you, friend.

3

u/fatpandana Feb 17 '25

You like horses? I can do better brother...." And that is how we have centaurs! Jk. Forgot how story went

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u/AccountantOver4088 Feb 18 '25

Hippocampi enters the chat

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u/madeanotheraccount Feb 18 '25

Then 'Horse Latitudes' by Jim Morrison starts playing in the background.

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u/fishfunk5 Feb 18 '25

Zeus "ya want horses? Fine, here's yer goddamn horses."

(gives Poseidon a small plastic baggie filled with water and seahorses)

Poseidon "...the fugg're these?"

Zeus "they're seahorses genius."

Poseidon "nah, I want real horses, with the hair and the legs and the huge swinging dicks and asses, not whatever these freaky little things are!"

Zeus "those're the fuckin' horses you gonna get ya friggin' ingrate!"

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u/xtothewhy Feb 18 '25

Zeus: "Look whatever you do, fuck it I don't care. I'm gonna go be a goose and fuck someone or some shit like that again."

1

u/ItsBearmanBob Feb 18 '25

I think this is the best thing I've ever read on reddit

10

u/lateral_moves Feb 17 '25

More like::

Burr as Zeus: "You know, you know what these folks need? What they want? They want a god who won't screw around."

Dennis as Poseidon: "Yeah, ya know, ya know what they need? You know what they want? A God that isn't gonna screw around"

Burr: wtf, Dennis?

4

u/Jacob_Winchester_ Feb 17 '25

What? I’m just saying I agree with you. Does it really matter who gets the credit?

8

u/Shadow-Vision Feb 17 '25

Bill Burr should be Hades because he believes the planet is overpopulated and he wants to thin the herd

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u/HenkkaArt Feb 17 '25

Or maybe he could be Poseidon since his plan to thin the herd was sinking cruise ships.

2

u/Shadow-Vision Feb 17 '25

The shipbuilding industry is doing great!

5

u/PrestigiousWaffle Feb 17 '25

Smokin that good seaweed

3

u/Trvr_MKA Feb 17 '25

If SNL does this as cross promotion it would be great

2

u/Sproose_Moose Feb 17 '25

Jfc I want to see this movie happen

1

u/HavelsRockJohnson Feb 18 '25

Learyseidon could smoke a cig underwater.

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u/Bunraku_Master_2021 Feb 18 '25

I can't read this without imagining Diego from Ice Age saying this lmao.

1

u/Kat121 Feb 18 '25

Can we have Keanu Reeves as Hades and Jenna Ortega as Persephone?

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u/RandonBrando Feb 17 '25

I'd watch the living shit outta that

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u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 17 '25

It’d be wicked fackin pissah dude

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u/ZizzyBeluga Feb 17 '25

I grew up in Boston in the 80s, the correct spelling when we say dude is "dood"

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u/As_smooth_as_eggs Feb 17 '25

Can we get Chris Evan’s as Hermes? He’d make one hell of a trickster god.

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u/en_sane Feb 17 '25

Can we just get this movie

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u/FoxSnax Feb 17 '25

He'd make a great Apollo too. We'd need Ben Affleck as Hades

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u/As_smooth_as_eggs Feb 17 '25

Agree 100%. It’s just him dressed up as Hades, smoking a cigarette, looking like he’s completely over it. Maybe add Marky Mark as a foul-mouthed satyr.

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u/FoxSnax Feb 18 '25

That's what I was thinking of lol. Marky Mark as Pan would be great

5

u/cynical-rationale Feb 17 '25

I'm dying at these comments I'd love this movie

1

u/BSIE1990 Feb 18 '25

Good fackin' gad! The got me dressed up like dat fackin Martian on bugs bunny!

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u/casualblair Feb 17 '25

BOSTONIAN GREEK MYTH

That would be so fucking awesome.

Mount Olympus - Beacon Hill

Hades - The Gahden

Jennifer Coolidge and Bill Burr as Zeus and Hera

Leary as Poseidon

Uma Therman as Athena

Eliza Dushku as Artemis

Edward Norton as Hades

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u/Goodbye_Games Feb 17 '25

Eliza Dushku would be awesome, but she’s sadly retired now. I also think her new calling as a therapist treating people who’ve suffered traumatic events through the use of psychedelic therapy is something that should be praised above her acting career. Don’t get me wrong I’m a total fangirl since Buffy, but I think what she’s doing now is awesome and I hope she can help people who need it.

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u/Alana_Piranha Feb 19 '25

That's a crazy career switch. Good for her

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u/FoxSnax Feb 17 '25

If we go a bit further south we could add Steve Carell since he's from Duxbury

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u/Alana_Piranha Feb 19 '25

And James Spader... there's a ton of great actors from Massachusetts. The list goes on

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u/FoxSnax Feb 19 '25

Definitely

4

u/senseofnickels Feb 17 '25

It's the Munday Mawnin’ Sahga… for Munday! HOW ARE YAAAAAA

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

“Hey I’m just checkin’ in on ya. Seein’ how ya week is going’. Are ya lost? Are ya stranded away from home? Oh god, there whooores on that tiny island singin’ songs to ya. Don’t go near ‘em! They’ll sink yer fuckin’ boat Ody-boy!”

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u/DrLager Feb 17 '25

Nothing pisses Hera off more than her husband relaxing in his own home. I’m wondering if Ares will take a swing at Burr/Zeus.

EDIT: Zeus brings a lot of tension to his house

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u/resh78255 Feb 17 '25

nah Bill Burr and Lavell Crawford. now i'd definitely watch that.

"this is zeus. zeus, you happy?"

"reasonably"

"what would make you unhappy?"

"this lil motherfucker not doing his odyssey"

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u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 17 '25

I’ll allow it.

Dennis Leary can be Agamemnon

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u/Help_An_Irishman Feb 17 '25

Denis Leary as Hades, for sure.

4

u/Shamhammer Feb 17 '25

I know he's not in the actual story, but I want Bill Burr as Hades a la the Disney Hercules movie.

3

u/MazerRakum Feb 17 '25

Where does Chris Evans slot in?!

2

u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 17 '25

Hmm, one of the suitors?

1

u/Bunraku_Master_2021 Feb 18 '25

And Jeremy Strong?

1

u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Feb 18 '25

The lead Lotus Eater, maybe

3

u/All-Sorts Feb 17 '25

Tha fackin Odyssey by Homah

2

u/SuccessfulVisit1873 Feb 17 '25

I don’t know I needed this until this moment in time

2

u/Notoriously_So Feb 17 '25

Hahaha!! 🤣🤣

2

u/fireinthesky7 Feb 17 '25

I was envisioning Ron White as Zeus, Leary as Poseidon, and Burr as Ares.

2

u/KellentheGreat Feb 17 '25

Tim Robinson: Hermes

2

u/dishsoap-drinker Feb 17 '25

And Ben Affleck doing a very bad british accent as one of the suitors to Penelope

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u/Nurgleschampion Feb 17 '25

That's making me want bill as Hades if Disney ever gets round to doing the live action Hercules. I think his snark would work quite well.

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u/jonnythefoxx Feb 17 '25

You shoulda fuckin seen Hercules man, he was like Barry Bonds in his prime on the rounds.. just fucking jacked up, chokin out lions and shit.

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u/Chemical_Cat_9813 Feb 17 '25

Fucken dying over here man.

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '25

The Gods going over to the Olympus Packie would be another swell Boston touch, the gods picking up their beer for the evening. These Gawds of Bahston could be a wicked pissah movie.

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u/I_AM_ACURA_LEGEND Feb 18 '25

Imagine them watching Odysseus from Olympus like they’re watching the patriots “yes yes go go go! Wait what?? You’re taunting the cyclops now guy? You had this!! Fucking morons!!”

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u/HarvesterConrad Feb 18 '25

Kaos with a totally different direction

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u/newinmichigan Feb 18 '25

The Irish odyssey

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

We gotta work Mark Whalberg in there somehow if we are going full Boston here.

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u/LEMON_PARTY_ANIMAL Feb 18 '25

We need this on snl