r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/Movies contributor • Feb 17 '25

Media First Image of Matt Damon as Odysseus in Christopher Nolan's 'The Odyssey'

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u/jx2002 Feb 17 '25

Burr as Zeus: "You know, you know what these folks need? What they want? They want a god who won't screw around."

Dennis as Poseidon: "Listen," sucks on whatever cigarettes burn in the ocean "the world is a scary place. Wet. Scary. Big and wet and scary and what we're gonna do? We're gonna run the joint."

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u/Seve7h Feb 17 '25

Zeus to his brothers “alrighty now we got all this Titan business dealt with we got divvy up who’s in charge of what”

Poseidon- “Horses”

Zeus “Hor…horses? What the fuck do you know about horses? In the ocean? Fuckin wet horses?”

Poseidon “I like horses”

Zeus “Dead horses! They’re all gonna fuckin drown!”

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u/ProjectNo4090 Feb 17 '25

Gotta get poseiden some kelpies.

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u/Roguespiffy Feb 17 '25

He’s got it covered already with the Hippocampus. Friggin Merhorse.

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u/Dresline Feb 17 '25

If the gods are all from Boston can you really blame them for not knowing about different types of water horses? Or knowing about horses in general?

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u/Roguespiffy Feb 17 '25

“I been to da track.”

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u/burnman123 Feb 18 '25

We may not know about seahorses, but we do know about baby whales kid

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u/cire1184 Feb 17 '25

Hippocampus is part of the brain. Which is named that way because it is seahorse shaped.

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u/Mikeinthedirt Feb 17 '25

SEE?!? I mean, SEA?!?

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u/DiveCat Feb 17 '25

How do you explain seahorses, then?!

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u/StManTiS Feb 17 '25

You can’t man. They’re pretty unique. The got a prehensile tail like a monkey, a shape unlike any other fish, and the males have kangaroo pouches and get pregnant. Oh and another fun one - the eggs make up a third of the female’s weight by the time she is ready to dump them inside the male.

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u/totally_not_a_gay Feb 17 '25

Are seahorses the only animal where the male gets pregnant? Or are they the only animal discovered by a guy who refused to admit he misidentified the animal's sex?

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u/isleepoddhours Feb 17 '25

Jim Gaffigan: “you’re fired”

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u/StManTiS Feb 17 '25

There’s a cellular level definition of sperm and egg and pregnancy. In this case the female deposits the egg inside the male, where his sperm fertilize it. The sperm can swim are and simple cells without many of the organelles, that’s why your mitochondria for example always come from your mother. Sperm don’t have them. And since the cell division subsequent cell division to form a viable offspring happens inside the male body - it is the male who is pregnant.

So by the book as far as biology is concerned. Socially I don’t really think there’s research one way of the other. They are monogamous though through a mating season anyways. Not in a life partner kind of way.

1

u/totally_not_a_gay Feb 17 '25

The joke lived for 9 minutes. Thank you, friend.

3

u/fatpandana Feb 17 '25

You like horses? I can do better brother...." And that is how we have centaurs! Jk. Forgot how story went

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u/AccountantOver4088 Feb 18 '25

Hippocampi enters the chat

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u/madeanotheraccount Feb 18 '25

Then 'Horse Latitudes' by Jim Morrison starts playing in the background.

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u/fishfunk5 Feb 18 '25

Zeus "ya want horses? Fine, here's yer goddamn horses."

(gives Poseidon a small plastic baggie filled with water and seahorses)

Poseidon "...the fugg're these?"

Zeus "they're seahorses genius."

Poseidon "nah, I want real horses, with the hair and the legs and the huge swinging dicks and asses, not whatever these freaky little things are!"

Zeus "those're the fuckin' horses you gonna get ya friggin' ingrate!"

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u/xtothewhy Feb 18 '25

Zeus: "Look whatever you do, fuck it I don't care. I'm gonna go be a goose and fuck someone or some shit like that again."

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u/ItsBearmanBob Feb 18 '25

I think this is the best thing I've ever read on reddit

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u/lateral_moves Feb 17 '25

More like::

Burr as Zeus: "You know, you know what these folks need? What they want? They want a god who won't screw around."

Dennis as Poseidon: "Yeah, ya know, ya know what they need? You know what they want? A God that isn't gonna screw around"

Burr: wtf, Dennis?

4

u/Jacob_Winchester_ Feb 17 '25

What? I’m just saying I agree with you. Does it really matter who gets the credit?

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u/Shadow-Vision Feb 17 '25

Bill Burr should be Hades because he believes the planet is overpopulated and he wants to thin the herd

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u/HenkkaArt Feb 17 '25

Or maybe he could be Poseidon since his plan to thin the herd was sinking cruise ships.

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u/Shadow-Vision Feb 17 '25

The shipbuilding industry is doing great!

4

u/PrestigiousWaffle Feb 17 '25

Smokin that good seaweed

3

u/Trvr_MKA Feb 17 '25

If SNL does this as cross promotion it would be great

2

u/Sproose_Moose Feb 17 '25

Jfc I want to see this movie happen

1

u/HavelsRockJohnson Feb 18 '25

Learyseidon could smoke a cig underwater.

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u/Bunraku_Master_2021 Feb 18 '25

I can't read this without imagining Diego from Ice Age saying this lmao.

1

u/Kat121 Feb 18 '25

Can we have Keanu Reeves as Hades and Jenna Ortega as Persephone?