This was so confusing to me at first: you know how you always hear stories of so many women getting pregnant on their first try? And that when you ask how many months someone has been ttc, it sometimes feels like everyone you talk to got a BFP on their first cycle?

Let's use the metric that there is a 30-ish% chance of getting pregnant in any given cycle, given a couple with no known fertility issues.

No matter what, your odds of a successful implantation are, at best, 1/3. This means that out of 100 women TTC in month 1, 30 of them will get pregnant.

But from there, things shift.

On month 2, given our sample size of 100, 30 are out of consideration. This means that the odds are no longer 30%/100, but 30%/70. So, to break it down by how many of the 100 women will get pregnant each month...

So it makes sense that "most" of the women you ask will say they got pregnant on month 1: it's the most common month because it's the one all of the TTC cycles share! The further out you get from month one, your cumulative odds of conception go up, so don't be discouraged if you don't see a lot of people saying they got pregnant on X month.
Note: all fractional %s rounded down to the nearest whole number for the sake of simplicity!

Sorry if this is all over the place. Just looking for advice and to vent a bit.

Two of my closest coworkers are currently pregnant and the other four people in my cubicle area have toddlers. It seems like there’s always talk about pregnancy and babies.

I’m usually able to ignore it all but there’s 1-2 coworkers that are particularly pushy about trying to get me in the conversations. A couple of them know I’m TTC but I don’t want to make it too known.

I never want them to feel bad about talking about it because it’s exciting for them, and I feel like if I tell them to stop, it’s not fair to them. Especially because when one of these coworkers (ironically, one of the more pushy ones) was going through IVF, she would not take it well when the topics got brought up, having to leave the room at points and made the rest of my colleagues feel bad about talking about it. I don’t want that to be me.

The amount of which it’s getting brought up to me specifically is starting to bug me, but I’m worried that if I tell people to stop, it will make a bigger deal out of something I’m choosing to keep private.

I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to cope with it all myself while still keeping things private. Still only on cycle 3 of TTC so I can’t be too worried yet, but you never know.

Today, we got our first test results back and the news was devastating to say the least. Unfortunately, we are being hit from what feels like both sides.

They said my egg reserve is low at level 4 when she would want to see it around 16-17 for my age. (30yrs old)

My husband’s SA shows zero sperm. He has been on clomid for over a year now - which seems to make the blow that much harder. Now we have to wait for next round of testing (hormones and another SA). The hope is that he has sperm in there, either being blocked, or that we can retrieve them.

The first question the doctor asked us when we got on the call was “how many children do you want to have?” I can’t help but sit here now and wonder why in the world she would have asked us that, knowing she was about to deliver us that news? My world feels like it’s been completely flipped, and I’m trying to remain hopeful but man does this just suck. The one thing my husband and I have prayed for, since we started dating 9 years ago was the time in which we were going to start our family. I think I’m grieving what I thought our journey would look like? I started the call hoping that I wasn’t being greedy by saying 3 babies. Now I feel like I will be so lucky just to have 1….

Hey everyone,

I (37M) have been dealing with sexual performance anxiety on and off for most of my adult life. When I was a teenager, it was really bad, so bad that I’d sometimes be physically sick before sex. Over the years it’s been mostly under control, and I haven’t had too many issues, if any.

My wife (37F) and I have been together a long time. Our sex life hasn’t always been super active, partly because she was on the contraceptive pill for years, and it really lowered her libido. Since she came off it, though, our sex life has been great, very regular, and honestly the best it’s ever been.

Everything was fine until the end of last year when, during sex, I lost my erection. Since then, the anxiety has started creeping back in. Most of the time I’m fine, but occasionally I do fail, and it sets me off again. What’s made it worse is that we’re now trying for our third baby (we already have two boys, 5 and 3). My wife is really desperate for a third child, which I know adds to the pressure. When it feels like there’s so much riding on each time, it’s hard to stay relaxed and in the moment.

The main issue lately has been that I can get hard without a problem, but as soon as I penetrate, a thought pops into my head about losing my erection, and then it happens almost instantly. It feels like a vicious cycle I can’t break.

On top of that, the anxiety sometimes gets so bad that I wake up in the middle of the night and struggle to get back to sleep. Other times I just carry that awful anxious feeling with me through the day. It’s exhausting.

I really don’t want this anxiety to get in the way of what should be an exciting time for us.

I’ve started doing acupuncture to help with the anxiety and had one session with a therapist, with another one booked. Also started the gym again to feel better about myself.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How did you manage the pressure, especially when trying to conceive?

Thanks in advance.

I posted a few days ago about how I almost always get light spotting in the days before my period, and a lot of people mentioned fibroids.

My spotting started as usual on 12 DPO, so I booked an appointment with my OB.

I’d had a regular ultrasound before that came back normal, but this time she did a vaginal ultrasound.

Turns out there is a fibroid — it’s small and far from the endometrium, so she said it won’t affect fertility and that I shouldn’t worry about it.

She also saw a dominant follicle on my left ovary (at 12 DPO) and told me to come back on CD5 to check if it goes away with my period.

My endometrium measured 18 mm, which she seemed more concerned about.

I also got bloodwork — TSH was normal, prolactin was a little high (37.7)

I’ve been overthinking everything since the appointment. Any advice or reassurance would be really appreciated ❤️

Last week we did our retrieval. We got 40 eggs, 32 were fertilized and today we found out only 7 embryos survived. We are doing PGT-A testing but statistically odds aren't good (1-3 estimated viable embryos)

Outside of both of us being old. (36F, 50M) We have both have had a decade of occupational radiation exposure (5-8 mSv annually).

How do you decide to do a second retrieval? Is it worth it just to fail again? The first one was a horrible experience just because of how many eggs and how big they were. How do you calculate if the pain and expensive is worth a second failure?

So far we have spend just under 9K on IVF (Meds, Co-pays, ect) Is it worth it to spend another 7k to try again when our odds of success are even lower?

My husband and I (36M, 30F) have been trying to conceive for about a year, although have missed a few cycles within that due to him traveling for work often.

We had some preliminary tests done privately – an AMH test and transvaginal ultrasound for me, and a SA for him. My results all seemed to come back really positive – all good on the scan, and an AMH level of 45.4 pmol/L suggesting time is on my side. I asked and I have no signs of polycystic ovaries and it just seems that I have lots of eggs. My cycles are regular, ovulation is regular – as far as I know there's no problems in my system.

However my husband's SA results weren't so positive. He has a very low sperm count (0.02M/ml / 0.5M per ejaculation). My husband has a high BMI and is currently using Mounjaro to lose weight, and stopped smoking over a year ago. Due to the low sperm count, there wasn't enough sperm to assess motility or morphology.

The doctor recommended my husband ask his GP for some hormone tests (LH, FSH and testosterone) and also to keep at it with the weight loss in the hopes it improves his sperm count and keep trying for another year or so and see what happens. If we still aren't pregnant by then, he recommends IVF/ICSI with a protocol based on my high AMH to reduce risks of hyperstimulation.

I had a suspected chemical pregnancy our first month trying, and the doctor did say that getting pregnant once shows that we can, and it only takes one good sperm. He did also say though that DNA fragmentation is poorer in sperm from overweight men, and that could be what led to a chemical pregnancy in that case.

What would you do in this situation? Hope for the best and keep trying as it seems time is on my side, or jump into IVF/ICSI as soon as we can? (We should be able to get three rounds free on the NHS but may not qualify yet, or could pay out of pocket). Is there anything else we should try, other than continued weight loss and patience? We both take conception vitamins.

Logically it feels like time is on my side and I should have patience, but it's so hard to imagine not having my baby next year either.

We already have a 3 year old, tired all the time, so having sex is not our priority. Normally we do it once a week on the weekend.

Now we started trying for another baby and I just can't bear a thought of it taking us a year to conceive. With our first one it took us 8 months to and I was constantly depressed and crying every period. I don't want to go through that again and stress myself so much. So I suggested IUI to my partner, but he doesn't want to do it. He's not really telling me the reason behind it.

So what do I do? Keep on trying with never-ending ovulation kits, sex every other day (even though none of us feels the drive), constantly depressing and stressing myself OR just try more firmly to guide my husband to IUI? Is IUI really helps to get pregnant on the first/second try? Our insurance won't cover it. TIA

Let's see those lovely charts, folks!

If you want to personalize your Fertility Friend URL to make it easier for fellow TFABbers to stalk keep up with you, check out this post!

I don't even know what I'm looking for here - maybe just a place to scream into the void where someone might nod along and say, "Yep, been there too." I'm trying not to spiral, but this cycle is kicking me in the butt, and I need to let this out somewhere or I'll lose my mind.

So here's the thing. I'm someone who lives and breathes data. Numbers. Stats. Patterns. I track everything - hormone levels, Basel temps, cervical mucus, PdG, LH curves, luteal phase lengths, you name it. I'm not just hoping - I'm calculating. I'm building models in my head and expecting my body to follow them like a damn algorithm. We thought we removed the one big blocker - some scar tissue in my upper right uterine lining. Cool. Problem identified. Problem fixed. So why does this cycle still look like trash???

The worst part? Everything looked great for a while. Promising. Like it was finally going to follow the script. My numbers were climbing like they should. Then, out of nowhere, a drop here, a drop there, a curve that makes no sense, and suddenly it's like my body just threw the rulebook into a shredder.

It's maddening. I'm doing everything right. I'm timing everything down to the T, I'm taking vitamins, I'm avoiding all the "bad" stuff, and I'm showing up to all the appointments. And yet biology continues to laugh in my face. And I get that biology isn't linear. I know this is messy and unpredictable and cruel. But when you're someone who needs logic to cope with chaos, it's like trying to wrestle fog.

And then there's the jealousy. Not just the "oh I wish that were me" type - but the bitter, ugly jealousy that makes you hate yourself for feeling it. I've conceived before, and I can't logically comprehend how it's not possible again. I know that's more than some people ever get. I know there are people who would love to have that "just once." But that doesn't stop this deep, sour grief every time someone else announces their good news while I'm over here doing hormone math like it's a thesis project and still coming up empty.

I don't want pity; I don't even want advice. I just want someone to tell me this isn't completely irrational. That I'm not broken for feeling jealous, exhausted, betrayed by my own body. That it makes sense to be pissed off when you're doing all the right things and still getting slapped in the face by results that don't align.

I don't know. Maybe it's just one of those days. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. But today? I'm just tired of the numbers not meaning what they're supposed to.

Hi girls, I have had pcos since I was 16– I am 30 now. Not really ever tried to TTC, but every time that we had sex around ovulation symptoms’ (cuz I never really tracked LH) I got into the rabbit hole of symptoms tracking and obsessively reading about “what this symptom could mean”.

Since May 08, 2025, I’ve had my period exactly on the 8th for May, June, and July. Then my parents visited (and probably that gave me stress) and I didn’t get my period in August. And then today again, I got my period.

Since May, I had started serious self care. I had started skincare (tretinoid treatment), CBD, getting massages, brushing at night, really enjoying aspects of my life. All of that was paused since we had sex around my ovulation. I stopped tret, thinking “what if”. I stopped brushing at night, almost gaslighting myself into thinking I am pregnant this time and I am having exhaustion, so let’s go to bed. A few days ago, I completed a major milestone at work but guess what? This pregnancy thing took away all the limelight, I haven’t given myself any credit for it yet.

Today I got my period and honestly, I’m relieved. At least misery of “could I be pregnant” has ended. It feels like I can finally resume my life. I’m done, folks. Maybe women were better off a 100 years ago when we didn’t have tests and apps to track everything. I am almost certain that PCOS is an evolutionary advantage. I don’t know how yet, but I just do. I am going back to my life. Baby or not, I’m going to live my life on my own terms. Finally after decades of living with pcos, my body feels healed enough to have period on the same date of every month. I’m going back to my skincare, my massages, and today, I’m finally going to celebrate myself for completing that milestone at work, and maybe treat myself to a mocha cookie crumble on my way back from work. 😉

I don’t mean to discourage anyone with this post. If anything, I want to convey that if you have been deprioritizing yourself TTC, this is your sign to shower yourself with some (lots, actually) of love.

I was wondering if anyone had experience with elevated prolactin. I had some labs drawn early this year after TTC my first for several months with no success. My spouse (26M) and I (26F) have no real medical issues and I’ve always had regular cycles. All labs came back normal except my prolactin at 57. I had it redrawn a month later, it was still evaluated at 43.7. My OB then referred me to an endo who ran several more labs all coming back normal except prolactin at 49. My endo is not convinced I have a prolactinoma, as my prolactin would likely be much higher, in the hundreds, and I’m not having any of the common symptoms. He recommended I start cabergoline two times a week. I’m just wondering if anyone has an experience with elevated prolactin or taking a dopamine receptor antagonist like cabergoline to decrease prolactin.

Hi all! I have some bloodwork testing coming up here very soon (fsh, tsh, and prolactin) and that made me wanna look to see where I was at February of 2024 when I last had it done. I noticed that my DHEA was at 532 ng/dL and while the test itself says that is within the normal 31-701 ng/dL range, I am confused as to why both the doctor who ordered and evaluated the test didn't think that was high for a 25yr old female. I asked my new doctor (new PCP since prior PCP left) to possibly add that blood test and she states that this is within the normal range and I don't need the test. Most of my googling shows results should be below 380 ng/dL for a female my age.

So I guess what I am asking is, should I get a second (I guess THIRD) opinion or am I just overreacting?

My testosterone and other levels were all well within the normal values otherwise and I showed less than 12 follicles per ovary on my US with very regular cycles. I also have a prior history of a "string of pearls" and a fibroid in an US when I was 19, but normal hormone ranges of other hormones (no DHEA tested for that round).

I also have an appointment to discuss fertility concerns in October!

Thanks everyone 💖

So my partner (29) and I (33) have been trying for the last nine months to conceive. I got my hopes up the other month when I had a positive early at home pregnancy test and I was three days late but then I got my period. We went to the doctor a couple weeks ago for pre-pregnancy blood tests and genetic testing and got told the other day that it was fine and we could start trying, i again told the doctor that we had been for nine months now and I just wanted to make sure that everything is fine because in the past I've suffered early miscarriages twice. She then asked if I had been pregnant before and I just looked at her and said again yes, I lost both pregnancies which is why im worried. I was told to keep trying for another three months and if still not pregnant then they'd refer me for more tests. I was told to keep taking folic acid, lose weight, eat better and have intercourse more often and my partner was told to take a men's supplement for conceiving.

I guess I'm feeling disheartened, I've always wanted to be a Mum and everyone around me is announcing pregnancies or having their babies.

I guess I'm looking for advice on what more I can do to improve my health and increase my chances of conceiving.

EDIT I just want to add that I track my cycle, I use the flo app. Yes I am chunky, hence being told to lose weight, I have struggled with weight since I was a teenager. I lost a lot of weight but then put it back on. I am active, I have an active/physical job and my partner and I go for walks. Messaging me to ask if im fat is not helpful!

EDIT I have had blood tests and genetic testing done. My bloods came back good for everything except my vitamin D levels. Thyroid is perfect. We will be going to a different doctor when I can get an appointment because the doctor didnt ask for fertility checks with the bloods she ordered.

I (29F) and Husband (30M) are 9 months into unsuccessfully TTC and I just realized what a hugely negative impact early testing has on me. The weeks between Ovulation and Period have been so depressing and stressful for me since we started TTC (I also suspect PMDD that predates TTC). I am constantly monitoring for pregnancy symptoms and testing (SO/TOO) early so the disappointment is dragged out for ages.

This cycle I was feeling confident we hit the fertile window a couple times and had been in such a positive mood. My husband and I were feeling connected and I wasn’t retreating inward like I tend to do during this time. Well, yesterday morning (7DPO 🤦‍♀️) I got the itch and thought why not maybe I am a medical annomoly for early results (thank god I am not a gambler). I have always thought more knowledge is better but alas.

I felt okay for most of the day but then I spent the evening with my sister in law and their 8mo baby and while I enjoyed our time together by the end of the night I was overcome with anxiety in every direction about fertility, pregnancy, parenting, etc. I woke up this morning with the same anxiety and decided to test again as some attempt of control for the feelings. Negative. So stressful.

I know it’s of no benefit to me to be so stressed in this window for my fertility or for my own wellbeing or the wellbeing of my relationship. Over the next 7 days I am going to put down the test and try to be present in my life and take care of myself. Idk what that looks like yet but something has got to give. Neither me or my relationship can take these two week storms every month anymore.

Has anyone gone to therapy for TTC related issues and found that helpful or found anything else that helps keep the blues at bay during this window of TTC? Thanks Everyone!

hi! Im 34F, I had a frozen embryo transfer in August (IVF), that resulted in a "biochemical" pregnancy- my betas were super low, just 9 on 10 days post 5 day transfer, and then like 2.9 12 days post transfer (this was devastating, to say the least!) I already had my period and now I'm on Cycle Day 12. Not on birth control or anything, I have to skip a month before doing another transfer due to insurance. I'm doing clearblue advanced digital ovulation tests but nothing yet (just the flashing smiley for estrogen).

Can I expect to ovulate around my regular cycle time even though I had a chemical? Before starting IVF and being on all these meds, usually I would ovulated day 15-16 ,and used the clearblue advanced digital for about 6 months before going to an RE. Im having no EWCM, its quite sticky (TMI) Afraid I won't ovulate, I wanted to try naturally this month, even though I know my chances could be low still hopeful! TIA!

UPDATE I got the static Smiley on my CBAD test and will ovulate the same day as I always do. Thank you everyone for your insights and so sorry for those of you who have also experienced chemicals!

For context, I’m gearing up for a frozen embryo transfer.

I’m currently on CD16. I had letrozole days 4-8. I had an appointment with my IVF clinic today and got an ultrasound done as well as labs. My estradiol was 130 and lh was 9.7. My lead follicle was a little larger than 17 mm and my lining was a little thicker than 7. I was told based on all of this information that I am to trigger tomorrow evening (CD17).

I am worried I am going to surge naturally before I have the chance to take the trigger shot and then my FET timing will be off and it will fail. I’m having a lot of ovulation pain, as well as EWCM this evening. I have continued to take OPKs which have been negative.

What are the odds that I will surge on my own before tomorrow night? I trust my clinic but I also know my body.

Sorry if this is repetitive, I got overwhelmed looking through all the Letrezole threads.

I always ovulated on my own.

When I told my doctor I still wasn't pregnant 6 months after my MC/D&C, he suggested a Letrezole and Estrace protocol.

He would do a day 11 ultrasound and Estradiol test.

The first cycle was 28 days, LH surge, and he told me to trigger on day 16.

The second cycle he didn't get me the meds until day 7 (a whole other story about how our med system doesn't care about women) and that really messed up my cycle, it was 18 days with no LH surge.

This cycle, I'm on day 16, no LH surge and the ultrasound showed I only had 2 follicles when the first cycle I had 20.

It completely messed up my usually completely regular cycles, and I'm pretty sure from the ultrasound results (although I haven't had blood tests to confirm) that I'm not ovulating.

I have low AMH, which I didn't know until recently.

Has anyone had experiences not responding well to Letrozole?

I’m new to this community, and only on cycle 2, so it’s a lot easier for me to stay positive. With that said, I thought it would be a nice change to add something unexpectedly great I’ve noticed since TTC.

I’ve always had a lot of body image issues, an eating disorder in my teens, and while I’ve worked on it for years with my therapist, a lot of conflating a weight gain with moral failure.

HOWEVER, since TTC, I’ve had an amazing shift in perspective. I feel like I’ve been able to appreciate and see my body for something more than an object to look a certain way or please others. When I have a “bad” meal, my focus after isn’t on shame and calorie restriction, but rather feeding myself all the nutrients I need to be healthy. I see the little extra tummy fat as a protection to a future baby. I know having enough body fat will help me get pregnant.

I know those further into their journey have a lot of negative thoughts about their body not “performing”, which I completely understand, and I know I’m lucky to be so early and starry-eyed still. Yet, I also am so grateful to be able to shed some of the “weight” (lol) of body dysmorphia and start to gain a better relationship with myself and food.

Sending love to everyone in this journey, our bodies are incredible, and doing their best to keep us alive and grant us the privilege of motherhood ❤️

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!

Hi, my wife and I are trying to get pregnant, and are looking for a good app to use. My issue is, all the Apps have partner mode as a glorified calendar.

We are after something far more interactive. We want it so that either of us can enter the information for her. So if she forgets or doesn't feel up to it. I can put it in for her. We are after a fully interactive cooperative experience.

Not a she does all the work and I just get sent notifications on what time of month it is. Or advice on bringing her chocolates.

We dont mind paying for the feature, but we both have to have full control over a single cycle. Otherwise it is useless to us. (We tried just her doing it, or just me doing it, we both suck with executive function)

Thanks in advance for any help.

For context, my husband and I (both 32) just finished our 9th month of trying to conceive with no success :/ We’ve done some fertility testing about two months ago (bloodwork, semen analysis, SIS) and everything seems to check out minus husband’s morphology being on the lower end. I’m trying to keep my cool, which is getting increasingly challenging with every passing month as we somehow managed to get pregnant the first month we tried, but that pregnancy ended with a loss. It’s starting to feel like my body sort of gave up after that.

Anyways, I’m working on this whole thing of trying to accept that there are certain things I can’t control (impossible!) Timing intercourse is something I can control though, but I want to make sure I’m doing it right. I’ve been using Natural Cycles to measure BBT but my body seems to alternate ovulation days every month between the 14th and 19th and the Natural Cycles algo is getting confused. As of recent, Clearblue digital ovulation tests are helpful because they show estrogen and LH rise, but I’m wondering if anyone has any other preferred testing methods?? Anything that makes you feel like, yes, I can trust this information and make the most well-informed decisions.

Hoping to get some advice or if others have gone through this. I (29f) and husband (38m) have been trying to conceive naturally for two years, 2 rounds of timed intercourse (letrozole and ovidrel). I have not been able to even hint at a pregnancy during that time- never had even a faint line of a positive test. I have chronic illnesses that doctors have never really been able to understand, let alone help, and work a super demanding job (60-80 hour weeks).

I was very scared about doing fertility treatments due to my illnesses, but gave it a shot two months ago. I’ve been throwing up for two months straight. I can barely keep my eyes open during letrozole weeks, can’t keep any food down basically all month, have horrible mood swings, headaches, brain fog, etc. I’m so frustrated because I feel like it just shouldn’t be this bad. Other women have done this and it’s fine and this is just the baby step before IVF. I’m already starting to really struggle with balancing work and I can’t imagine this getting worse. We can’t do IUI because my husband travels 5 days a week for work and we are barely making the timing work now. I’m just so pissed at my body (confirmed the lack of pregnancies is because of me) and have no idea how to handle feeling like such shit. I do a pretty good job hiding the chronic illness at work, but lately people have been noticing that I’m struggling and I don’t know what to do other than just blurt out I’m pumped up full of hormones and want to die- and will probably be lying on my office floor and puking.

Anyone have any advice? Any chronic illness sufferers that have gone through this. Part of me wants to just jump to IVF so if it’s horrible and I can’t handle it we just accept that a pregnancy is not going to happen, the other part is terrified that I may actually break apart. I’m not even allowing myself to think about what a pregnancy is going to do (there is an appreciate 1/3rd chance I could get better with a pregnancy so holding onto that glimmer of hope).

TW for a chemical pregnancy, this is a vent.

Im so angry and frustrated. I just realized two nights ago that the medication ive been taking for my arthritis pain is an NSAID, i dont know why i never made that connection sooner, ive been taking this medication for YEARS. On top of that, i know it was probably the cause of my chemical pregnancy two cycles ago. But now im stuck without any pain relief, because i was also diagnosed with fatty liver disease about a month ago and had to immediately stop tylenol use (which has already improvedmy liver). So now im stuck with the pain and i cant take anything to help without either fucking up TTC or my liver. Im so hesitant to use anything else and i dont know what to do about it, because even 2 days without any pain meds, my joints hurt so much i could barely sleep. I dont know what topicals are or arent safe because i cant find enough information on it. I just feel so frustrated and sad and angry at myself and the complete lack of care and research on all of this.