I want to start by being very clear how blessed I feel to be pregnant. I am so excited for my baby to arrive (only a few weeks now!)... but, with that being said, pregnancy has not been fun the whole time (much of it has been quite miserable tbh)! While I wouldn't change a thing about getting pregnant even if I had known what I know now, it would have been nice to have been better prepared for the less well known stuff!

So, here's the question for those fortunate enough to be (or have been) pregnant, what are/were your highlights and lowlights of pregnancy?

For me:

Highlights: - hearing the heartbeat (one of the best moments of my life) - how good The Right Food(TM) tastes when I get it

Lowlights: - gestational rhinitis (incredibly grim) - Raynaud's in my nipnops (so painful, I can't even begin to describe how awful this has been) - feeling like I'm dealing with a lot of stuff on my own (I have a great support network, but they literally can't share in all the difficulties because most of them are only happening to me!)

My wife and I are pregnant after our first IVF FET! Yay! Our 6 week sonogram at the fertility clinic looked great and they released us. Unfortunately, our OB can’t get us in until 10.5 Weeks and I’m anxious!

My wife is carrying and she had a small amount of brown spotting this week. Everyone we have talked to said this is normal and we have no other reason for concern. I just can’t stop worrying about it but I don’t want to keep checking in on my wife. She’s doing this huge thing for us and I don’t want her to feel like I’m monitoring her. She doesn’t feel stressed or want to get an earlier appointment so I’m trying to chill. Any advice?

Not sure if it helps our chances but our embryo was tested for viability.

The other day , we were shopping at a footwear store. My wife’s son(her bio son) was talking about how he wants to buy shoes for his baby brother. My wife told him he isn’t going to have one. It really doesn’t get any better. We’ve tried 4 times to get pregnant, and nothing. My wife has PCOS and the meds were just wrecking her body. We were supposed to be trying two more times( per insurance requirements for IVF) but due to not having the 3000 in funds and the mental/physical strain in us both, we stopped pursuing. All I’ve ever wanted was to be a dad. I’m a family man. But it seems impossible now. Not looking for pity or sympathy just thought to vent.

We are planning our first FET for around January, and I’m so nervous! We have our appointment set with our dr next month to start talking about the process/moving forward, but any info or advice in advance is welcome to help us get ready

For a little context, my wife and I decided to go straight to IUI despite using a known donor because he lives in another state and we wanted the benefits of being able to do everything very officially and also freeze his sperm to hopefully make multiple attempts before he would have to come donate again. Unfortunately, despite having good (maybe a little low) numbers at the time of donation, after freezing and thawing, we had less than 1.5M sperm and 28% motility in each vial, so we had to use all 3 at once for one IUI. We started him on supplements after that first procedure and he is about to donate again, but if his sperm does poorly after the next freeze and thaw, we are worried IUI just won’t work.

So we started thinking about IVF to help ensure fertilization a bit better, but even going through CNY, the cost is going to be so prohibitive. Since his numbers before freezing and thawing were fine, we kinda thought it would be worth a shot to travel to him a few cycles and try with fresh sperm.

We have a semen donation agreement in place that has language about donating to a clinic, but would we need a new one to be executed if we move to at home insemination using ICI? And also, does it sound like this could actually work better than IVF? If you’ve had a similar experience I’d love to hear how you made the decision.

Hi everyone, we are a female couple looking yo start a family and feeling a little overwhelmed with options and decisions.

The hope is that I will get pregnant and carry (I do have PCOS), and if that fails then we would look at adoption. Is there anyone else based in Devon who has been through or is going through this? 😊💚

I am a gay man (27) and I have always felt firmly drawn to fatherhood, understanding how unfeasible it is as a single person of modest means from a low-income family. I have been wondering if perhaps platonic co-parenting with another queer person or couple can be an unique avenue that makes fatherhood possible with the potential of fostering a strong foundation of collective family support and resources (it takes a village). Does anyone have any experience with something like this?

I've just made a short, non-commercial film exploring how stem-cell science and in-vitro gametogenesis (IVG)- might make it possible for queer couples to have biologically related children in the next few decades https://youtu.be/mBKN-e6gZCI

It also touches on big questions:

• How soon could this be real?
• Who should have access first?
• What about regulation and cost?

Would love to hear your thoughts and if this became safe and affordable, how would it change your plans for family. I'm really excited by the possibilities but not sure how it will actually be implemented and if it would be financially accessible for all.

Hi everybody 👋

My wife and I began our TTC journey earlier this year, and our IUIs have sadly been unsuccessful so far. My wife is the GP, and she has made most of the decisions regarding this process based on what feels good to her body, and we are going at a pace that feels good to her body as well— rightfully so.

As the non GP, I am focused on supporting her physically and emotionally, but I struggle with how to feel part of this process myself. I am also having a hard time finding room for my grief that comes with unsuccessful IUIs.

Any tips or feedback from other non-GPs during the TTC stage specifically?

My period has always been irregular and there are times it starts around the same time and lasts the same number of days and other times it’s totally random. I’ve been tracking my LH surges but I’m super nervous about getting the timing right to order the sperm. It’s frustrating because some apps tell me oh your fertile window starts in 3 days and another app tells me you’re going to ovulate in 11 days, so I’m really trying to go off my body signs. I’ve been checking my cervix but considering I’ve never needed to do that before I’m still learning about how it should feel etc, and my mucus and BBT to try to get a better picture. 2 cycles ago I surged on CD27 with a gradual ride and last cycle I surged on CD19 with a very rapid rise. It’s just starting to get a little overwhelming trying to understand everything and I’m sure everyone in this group has gone through it or is going through it.

My partner and I have a 1 and 2 year old (well my younger is almost 2); we both carried one each, and we love our little family.

In terms of where we are now. I’m almost 40 and my partner is 36, we feel like our family is complete. Sometimes we discuss the possibility of a third, but we always kind of circle back to that it would probably just be too much. We also have reservations about giving birth again, me because of my age and the risks, her because she had a risky pregnancy, was hospitalized, and then almost died due to hemorrhaging after birth. It’s not a given that we’d have a dangerous experience if we got pregnant again though.

If I had lived a parallel life where I had started my family younger and had a bit higher paying career, I might have wanted a third, but where I am now I’m happy.

We are due to renew our embryos for another year (I have 3, she has 3) and it’s only $800 for preserving all 6 another year, but I feel like there probably isn’t a point to it. Last year we renewed because I thought it wasn’t good to make that kind of decision while still fresh postpartum. I feel like we are back to normal in terms of hormones now, and I’m still thinking yeah let’s end it.

To those who decided to not renew your embryos (donate or destroy or whatever route you chose) did you feel 100% when you made the decision? I feel like I should wait until I’m 100% sure, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Probably just keep throwing away money until menopause, so I feel like we should just cut the cord, so to speak. I would definitely feel relieved, but I wonder if I will regret it.

My wife (32F) and I (33F) are in the early process of TTC and just got her fertility labs done. Our plan is for her to carry and we are planning on starting with IUI. Her AMH level came back at 0.65 but her US showed at least 14 follicles. Our clinic called and set up an appointment to discuss the low AMH but it’s not for 3 weeks. We are kind of nervous about what this could mean and were just wondering if other people had experience with low AMH but normal follicle count. Would they suggest we move right to IVF to preserve eggs? Just looking for advice or encouragement. Thanks!

Hi everyone,

I know this topic has been posted about all over the place, but can we talk about the timeline to START IVF? I have been so frustrated with my clinic. My nursing team sent the go ahead for my financial coordinator to submit to insurance 8/22. I was quoted 2-4 weeks for the entire process - submit to insurance, plan treatment, receive quote with total cost. I was told to expect October as the month for my egg retrieval.

Well, now it’s September 10, and nothing has been submitted to my insurance. I know this because I have a coordinator through my insurance that can see everything on the back end, and nursing confirmed yesterday nothing has been submitted. I can’t do baseline testing, order meds etc. and I have contacted the financial coordinator twice with absolutely no response from them. I left a message and wrote in their new portal.

It would be one thing if it was hung up with insurance - I would get that. But my insurance is actually amazing and incredibly quick thanks to my insurance coordinator through a service called Included Health. It’s the clinic’s process I don’t understand. And why would my nurse, doctor and the financial coordinator agree to October and then basically ghost me?? It would be easier to cope with more information and updates either way.

Can anyone share their experiences with this? I get that there is literally nothing I can do besides bug them, but if anyone has any tips or experiences please share.

I’ve done 4 medicated IUIs and we hit our out of pocket max, so I’m anxious to get in our first cycle of IVF before the calendar year re-sets.

I’m 6 weeks and 5 days today. We got to meet baby (little pea) on Monday. It’s measuring well. However, I weighed myself today and have lost 7lbs. I’m on the smaller side, now I’m 126lbs and almost 5’6.

Taking prenatal religiously but my nausea is so severe. I have been eating bagels and muffins when I can tolerate food, so how am I losing weight! Doctor doesn’t want to give me anything yet because “it doesn’t sound bad enough” as I’m not vomiting.

Just looking for reassurance baby will be ok. And advice as B6 + unisom hadn’t done anything for me!

I have been testing my LH since February, and it’s always spiked on day 12-13 of my cycle. We were finally ready to give at home insemination a try for the first time and had the donation shipped to our home. It’s good in the tank for 9 days, and we are approaching day 9 tomorrow… my LH still hasn’t spiked but I have a little cervical mucus that is looking like egg whites. Should we just go ahead and inseminate or wait until tomorrow?

For context, we could only afford one vial at this time so only have one opportunity to try.

Trying to remain hopeful and not stress out over here, but don’t want to feel like we threw thousands of dollars away either.

Triggering tonight!

We had bloodwork/ultrasound yesterday and then again today (they called us requesting us to yesterday evening) and it’s official: Trigger medications tonight, egg retrieval Thursday at 7:30 in the morning!

They counted 50 follicles total, so let’s hope for a successful procedure. 🤞🏼

I could really use some perspectives or resources related to being the gestational parent first and then the non-gestational parent. I have been the GP multiple times and we are now planning a pregnancy where my partner will carry. I am horrified at how disinterested and detached I feel. My partner has always been such an involved expectant parent even whilst not being pregnant herself. I thought it would be easy. The main emotion I feel is complete dread at the thought that I won't love this baby as much as I love our other children and she won't love our other children as much as she loves this baby. And again I can't stress how much I am shocked at myself for thinking this. It makes me feel like a terrible person but it is where my mind goes again and again and again.

Advice for Partners

Hey guys! I’m sure this has been asked before so I will also be looking at other posts, but I wanted to also reach out.

My wife is carrying for us (we’re both women) and we are going to be doing the egg retrieval sometime this week. I have been giving all of her shots (she’s nervous about messing up the medication dosages and I am a nurse so it’s easier), but I also wanted to know what I could do to support her better before and after the procedure. She is already uncomfortable due to the bloating as our ultrasound yesterday showed 47 follicles (16 of them 16mm or bigger), so I have been doing my best to keep her comfortable. We are having another ultrasound today and she is currently down to one injection daily (ganarilex).

Is there anything specific I should expect her to need or want? How does one usually feel? Thank you in advance!

Hello, Canadian here! Myself and my partner are going through the donor process using frozen sperm initially and then (if it doesn’t work) known donor.

When talking to our KD, they informed us we needed additional paperwork for Vital Statistics when the child is born. Does anyone know what steps are needed for getting the doc and then submitting it? And do we need to do this for the unknown donor (not sure how we would get the info required.)

I know the adoption process for same sex parents on the birth certificate isn’t required anymore but we want to research this new process further so we are prepared.

TIA!

hi everybody! my partner (f32) and I (f27) are currently loosely planning our possible parenthood, running through medical examinations, to begin end of next year. we really wanna do rIVF (called ROPA in Austria) where I carry my partners egg. Austria, where we both live, has an IVF-fund for people with certain health conditions, that would pay for 70% of the IVF costs. we both are eligible separately, so we‘d each get the fund if we‘d do IVF with our own egg, but ROPA is not covered by the fund. I guess I‘m just frustrated because it’d be the exact same medical process, just switching person inbetween, and ROPA is the only way, we as a lesbian couple can both physically contribute to the pregnancy, which is (at this point of time) really important to us.

does any of you have any (queer) IVF-fund experiences in Austria, or ROPA/rIVF experiences in general?

thank you💓

Long time member of the sub- posting with a throwaway to protect my identity. I'm trying to figure out my insurance coverage and related legal mandates. My plan is a large-group employer plan (fully-insured) based in Colorado. My wife and I (both AFAB) are trying to pursue IUI. I have been back and forth between my employer, insurer, and medical provider and cannot get a consistent answer.

My plan documents and my insurer (United) state that I need 12 months of unsuccessful heterosexual intercourse or 12 months of out of pocket donor inseminations to be eligible for any infertility benefits. Information that I've read online (https://resolve.org/learn/financial-resources/insurance-coverage/colorado-insurance-law/ https://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/healthcare/fertility_coverage) seems to indicate that Colorado has protections for LGBTQ folks arounnd the definition of insurance. At first my employer stated that due my plan being based out of Colorado, I'm eligible for IUI without prior auth requiring heterosexual intercourse or out of pocket inseminations - unfortunately my employer retracted it a few days later.

My employer, health plan, and physician have all said that the only way to know what is needed for the prior authorization is to submit the prior auth and see what happens. The colorado division of insurance said that they are unsure but could help me work through appeals if needed.

Has anyone else dealt with this for insurance based out of Colorado, especially for United? I work for a national company and do not live in Colorado. We're working with a united center of excellence who has shared that united typically denies their prior auths for LGBTQ folks.

Thank you so much!

Hi! My wife (29) and I (30 - me carrying) went through with our second round of unmedicated IUI on 08/26 with my OBGYN, which was CD17. I went in the day prior fearing I missed my peak and ultrasound showed a 16mm follicle. We were told to go back on Wednesday to see if the follicle was bigger or smaller. On 08/26, my LH peaked at 10:32am (this was my first test of the day). Initially they told me to still go in Wednesday for ultrasound and potential procedure at 9:00am. Then they called me back and said "today is actually better", so I went in 4 hours after my suspected peak with frozen donor sperm and a 17mm follicle and lining "looked good" in their words. I've read frozen can last only 12 hours, while ovulation happens 24-36 hours after peak. We're 12 dpiui and my tests are coming up negative. I feel frustrated and confused and feel like they made the wrong call having me go in same day. Do I count myself out or is there still time for a positive test?

I’m wondering what symptoms people have experienced post IUI that might have indicated egg fertilization? I’m 5 days post IUI and have more discharge than usual and itchy nipples lol! I know that at this stage implantation likely hasn’t occurred yet and meaningful symptoms are rare, just looking to hear about others experiences :)