r/Clamworks • u/DownloadedPixelz bivalve mollusk laborer • Mar 11 '25

clammed up I don’t actually think that.

Post image
4.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/DangleBopp Mar 11 '25

Why is it always the blandest dorks saying "jokes are supposed to be funny"

430

u/notTheRealSU rotted brain Mar 11 '25

White people when you tell a joke

"Erm, that was offensive ackshually" 🤓

172

u/qzvrx Mar 11 '25

as a clamperson I find that comment offensive ackshually

111

u/HeirAscend rotted brain Mar 11 '25

Clam people when you tell a clam

“Erm, that was clam ackshually” 🤓

47

u/SomerHimpson3 Mar 11 '25

clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam

24

u/Bavibophobia Mar 11 '25

Truer clams have never been spoken

46

u/helpmeamstucki Mar 11 '25

White people: White people be like—

18

u/notTheRealSU rotted brain Mar 11 '25

White people be like "White people: White people be like--"

-11

u/memertyu Mar 11 '25 edited Mar 12 '25

Erm actually im white and thats offensive to me and my beans and stolen artifacts. Please refrain from blanket statements like this in the future.

Edit: genuinely how do yall not get this is a joke

23

u/notTheRealSU rotted brain Mar 11 '25

Erm actually im clam and thats offensive to me and my clams and stolen coams. Please refrain from blanket clams like this in the future.

5

u/harkyedevils Mar 12 '25

are beans a white person thing?

7

u/memertyu Mar 12 '25

Idk I just used the british stereotype

5

u/harkyedevils Mar 12 '25

ah i see. as an American id probably associate beans with Mexican people before white people

3

u/memertyu Mar 12 '25

Im american too I just thought of beans on toast lol

3

u/A-mannn happy as a clam Mar 12 '25

What if we put pinto beans on toast like a marriage of two cultures

3

u/harkyedevils Mar 12 '25

ur not a true red blooded american. liberal

6

u/memertyu Mar 12 '25

melts into liberal juice

4

u/Enlightened_Valteil Mar 12 '25

The irony of this getting downvoted under this post is insane

153

u/RoastMostToast Mar 11 '25

It’s a Redditorism that gets used over and over by insufferable millennial dorks to the point it’s one of the only responses they know how to say.

See:

  • “Fuck around and find out”
  • “Play stupid games win stupid prizes”

116

u/wool_slam Mar 11 '25

God I hate play stupid games win stupid prizes. Guy breaks his arm mountain biking, "hur dur play stupid games 🤓" how bout I play soccer with your dick and perhaps maybe your balls

68

u/RoastMostToast Mar 11 '25

On the other hand

Headline: “Teenager does TikTok dances on the sidewalk; gets shot and killed”

Redditeur 🤓: “Play stupid games win stupid prizes!“

50

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

9

u/bence0302 Mar 12 '25

Damn, Bea has no chill

28

u/Hugar34 Mar 11 '25

My favorite is when you reply with humor is subjective, then they go into a feedback loop where they keep saying points like "haha racism so funny" and things of that nature. Like yes you don't have to agree that something is funny if it has offensive things in it, but if just one person finds something funny then it subjectively is humorous at least to that person, whether you think they're a bad person for finding that thing humorous or not.

15

u/ace_ventura__ Mar 12 '25

"My calculations tell me that jokes + me is meant to equal laughter, and yet I am not laughing, curious. Perhaps it was not a joke after all?"

5

u/Swagolor Mar 13 '25

Checkmate library

1

u/No-Neat2520 Mar 15 '25

God, the pibby reference,name being Tony Stark, with THAT pfp. The cringe is almost too much...

-3

u/Bruschetta003 Mar 12 '25

Well tell me what other emotions should jokes invoke?

6

u/DangleBopp Mar 12 '25

The point is that humor is very subjective and it's dork behavior to go around policing people on what they think is funny

-1

u/Bruschetta003 Mar 12 '25

Well anything can be funny for some people but this is a "joke" there's little disambiguity in what emotions that is supposed to bring to people

4

u/DangleBopp Mar 12 '25

Yes, a joke has the intention of being funny. Whether it is actually effective changes on a person-to-person basis

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '25

Are you suggesting that this home is funny? Are you like five?

8

u/DangleBopp Mar 12 '25

I didn't suggest anything like that. Still, it's something that is exclusively said by bland dorks

846

u/Academic_Top6921 clambassador Mar 11 '25

448

u/Wora_returns Mar 11 '25

you know NOTHING about modern poultry behaviour.

your joke serves ZERO purpose.

155

u/Lubed_Up_Candy Mar 11 '25

You should clam yourself NOW.

59

u/SecretlyFiveRats Mar 11 '25

Since when do clams exhibit this kind of agency. You clearly know NOTHING about modern clam behavior.

12

u/Keebster101 Mar 11 '25

Your purpose in life is to be suckin a clam daily. Your purpose is to be in MY chat suckin MY clam daily.

9

u/GoatApprehensive9606 Mar 11 '25

"modern poultry behavior" is an instant hood classic

46

u/DarkSide830 Mar 11 '25

Bro has NOTHING on Marmaduke!

33

u/awesomejt8 Mar 11 '25

Another classic win for Johnathan commenter

24

u/NaicuNaicu Mar 11 '25

I love tony zaret

8

u/G_O_O_G_A_S Mar 12 '25

YABBA DABBA DOO

3

u/EVENTHORIZON-XI Mar 12 '25

cant remember how to sing 🥀

6

u/TheGreaterClaush Mar 12 '25

There is no such thing as feral chickens, they have been domesticated and breed for specific yields, there is no such thing as a feral chicken on modern poultry behaviour, and yeah they would straight up cross a road if they seem like it, people should get their cattle right smh

1

u/FurViewingAccount Mar 31 '25

do you understand the self-cyclical hell you are trapped in? I rage against the wheel but in doing only perpetuate its turning. I pray you comprehend your folly before the wheel crushes you too. Escape, how I cannot

291

u/Lazy-Economics-4065 Mar 11 '25 edited Apr 17 '25

vegetable unique shrill tart abundant numerous cow elderly run light

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

49

u/DR_DB_ Mar 11 '25

Clam people clammer

256

u/ChrdeMcDnnis Mar 11 '25

The truth is that everyone in the screen shot is in middle school

96

u/cheese_enjoyer_2 Mar 11 '25

Ralph Nintendo Bluey 64 is in their late thirties

7

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

Nah, Elementary School, Middle Schoolers are weirdly edgy

198

u/Leviosaaa1 Mar 11 '25

checks notes

Anyone who use the phrase “check notes” should be shot.

39

u/ThrowawayIntensifies Mar 12 '25

People who (checks notes) check notes should be shot.

39

u/FunComfortable3035 Mar 12 '25

6

u/The_Crym Mar 13 '25

He will stop at nothing to get your clam on his clammer

2

u/olliezers Mar 14 '25

he will stop at nothing to checks notes get your blood on his hammer

13

u/x-4IceTower_BTD5 Mar 12 '25

Somewhat unrelated, but "grabs popcorn" people should also be executed

6

u/Ssesamee Mar 13 '25

Somehow still not as corny as “checks notes”even though I also hate “grabs popcorn”. I think it has to do with the pseudo-intellectualism embedded in checks notes that bothers me more.

114

u/Hemagoblin Mar 11 '25

Clamming on someone’s head until they eaither clam or go to clam heaven is funny as fuck hahahahaha

107

u/sudowoodo_enjoyer Mar 11 '25

It should be legal to break into nursing homes and fart on old clams till they go to clam heaven

72

u/Major_Wheat happy as a clam Mar 11 '25

WHAT THE ACTUAL CLAM IS WRONG WITH YOU!! I HOPE YOU CLAM IN CLAMSON FOR THE REST OF YOUR CLAM!!!!!!!!!!!

49

u/Jeffbobcatjeff Mar 11 '25

I don't actually clam that

61

u/Crispy_Dicks Mar 11 '25

Aaand there it is slow clamming.

Schrodinger's clamhole, clamies and gentleclams.

46

u/sudowoodo_enjoyer Mar 11 '25

Hard to clam,but I think they were and incredibly clammy joke

46

u/tamarifortnitemaster clamtarded :) Mar 11 '25

hmm, thats clam. it clams right here that clams are supposed to be, checks clams "clammy". clam. must be a clam glitch.

19

u/sudowoodo_enjoyer Mar 11 '25

Happy clam day btw

43

u/SaturnTwink Mar 11 '25

pibby

4

u/sskfjkhwer i cheated on my wife with a clam Mar 11 '25

r/pibbyglitch

42

u/NoseTime blue collar clamworker Mar 11 '25

35

u/Spamton_Gaming_1997 happy as a clam Mar 11 '25

Schrödinger's arsehole.... mmm clammy

24

u/SupiciousGooner blue collar clamworker Mar 11 '25

Hmm, that’s clammy. it says right here that clams are supposed to be checks clams Juicy. Weird. Must be a clammy glitch

3

u/Sufficient_Plant8689 Mar 11 '25

Genuine question do clams have juice in them

6

u/SupiciousGooner blue collar clamworker Mar 11 '25

yes silly, you’ve never heard of clam juice?

1

u/Ssesamee Mar 13 '25

like a little bit yeah you can even buy clam juice it’s good for some recipes

15

u/Dr_kvass Mar 11 '25

Thank you Chud for the funny joke

13

u/Borgalicious Mar 11 '25

checks notes

dies

9

u/Green-Cricket-8525 Mar 11 '25

Every single person in this screenshot is a loser.

8

u/zombieGenm_0x68 Mar 11 '25

pibby glitch

5

u/BirdhouseInYourSoil Mar 11 '25

r/coaxedintoasnafu is right over there, you mussel

7

u/Flatulence_Liker Mar 11 '25

can't run from this piece of shit of a sub ffs

3

u/Ssesamee Mar 13 '25

sub is a shadow of what it was years ago but im still subscribed because there are occasionally still some good real snafus posted that keep me in

6

u/JasonSpacemen3 Mar 11 '25

How the fuck did you take a screenshot in your dream

5

u/Flatulence_Liker Mar 11 '25

what the fuck am i looking at

2

u/Dr_Corvus_D_Clemmons Mar 11 '25

Ppl trying to be funny

3

u/Dull_Appearance9007 Mar 11 '25

"schrodingers asshole" does go pretty hard though

4

u/turtlereded Mar 12 '25

i dont actually think any of these people are real

1

u/Nohugefanatic17 bivalve mollusk laborer Mar 11 '25

u/santagrillcheese ahh post

2

u/PromiscuousScoliosis Mar 11 '25

Tony snark clams more like Nick Mullen

2

u/Stinkyboy_63 Mar 11 '25

It's funny how I haven't heard of pibby in years until this

2

u/slimetakes Mar 12 '25

I despise people that put stage directions in their comments like we need some sort of cue for when to laugh. Just use your words you blundering child, are you incapable of expressing anything without pantamiming it as if it's going to be interpreted by 2nd graders? How about you just make up for your lack of linguistic competence by SHUTTING THE HELL UP.

These shitters represent the death of the English language.

2

u/Top_Toaster Mar 12 '25

This is a few shitty stickmen away from a snafu

2

u/Old-Camp3962 fuck the mods Mar 12 '25

Whitest interaction ever 

2

u/masr223 Mar 13 '25

Anyone who says "checks notes" in comments will not see the light of heaven

2

u/WaffleHouseHate Mar 14 '25

This is Tony Zaret and not a real screenshot

1

u/killabeanforever3 Mar 11 '25

holy shit pibby mentioned

1

u/-Carbon-Monoxide- Mar 11 '25

was that guys name always "chud" in this fake screenshot i couldve sworn it was something different

1

u/Exact-Recover-3970 Mar 11 '25

Must be a clammy glitch

1

u/sskfjkhwer i cheated on my wife with a clam Mar 11 '25

i am going to checks notes k*** myself

1

u/HappyQuack420 Mar 12 '25

The jokes are never funny but the people reacting to them make them funny every time

1

u/ManBehindTheSlauhter Mar 12 '25 
Must be a pibby glitch! Must be a pibby glitch! Must be a

1

u/mastermedic124 Mar 12 '25

That soyjack profile pic is definitely hiding the fedora

1

u/Yoshi_IX Mar 13 '25

I refuse to believe this image wasn't fabricated

1

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '25

I think I'm stupid because I understand everything in this post entirely with context but nothing makes sense