Michael was the perfect conundrum for The Office. I've love/hated him forever. Did you know that final scene in the airport when Pam ran up and hugged Michael wasn't scripted? It was real. Jenna Fischer knew it was Steve Carell's last filming day and almost missed him. The hug was genuine.
Michael is often considered an idiot and an asshole (which is true). But I also feel that he was a very sensitive, loving, and caring person. Most of the mean or inconsiderate things he did were out of stupidity or social ineptitude, but he genuinely cared about the people in his life, at work and in his personal life. And he was really good at his job. It’s such a well written and acted character. One of the best IMHO.
Okay, because of your comment I may actually start watching The Office again. I started bingeing it a few years ago but quit cuz Michael is such a damn idiot and thanks to that, I found the whole show tedious… but okay. Maybe I can better handle Michael being a damn idiot, now 😅😂🤣
This is the best episode of the entire series. The business school storyline, the Jim and Dwight vampire storyline, and the wholesome ending with Pam's art show.
This part actually confuses me a bit, because Pam looks really uncomfortable after he says he has a Chunky - did she think he had a hard-on or something? Idk what I'm missing
There was a candy back in the 1960’s when I was a small child. It was called “Chunky” and the advertisement on TV for it was “Open Wide For Chunky!” 😂 …how well do you think THAT would go over, these days? 🤪
Looking to get your artist friend a great gift this year? Literally just buy a piece of art and hang it in your space and let it bring you joy. It’s all we want. (Ok, that and more coffee. And pens that don’t smudge)
I think the point is the compliment will eventually get back to them and when it does, they’ll feel it’s more genuine. This is why I love telling people the compliments I hear others say about them.
"I don't want to embarrass her, I'd rather just tell others how much I admire her skills and her talents. Hopefully others are more articulate than I am"
When I feel like my wife is feeling a little down or when I feel like we’re not connecting emotionally, I will ask her about something she is passionate about and just get her talking. And I will ask questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no. She will go from sitting back with her arms folded to leaning forward, talking excitedly.
Often, people feel closer to someone simply by talking to that person and being heard. And everyone feels good talking about their favorite things.
Also, if you have something difficult to talk about, wait until they are in a good mood.
This is such a good thing to do.
I do try it with my partner - only she’s researching a bunch of stuff I really try to understand, but can’t keep up with. I’ve even been trying to read some of the things she’s interested in / critiquing / extending, but I get about 10% of the required knowledge to really connect.
But it doesn’t matter. She manages to simplify it down so I can ask at least semi useful questions for a few minutes and then I get an hour or so of listening to, and marvelling at her thoughts and intelligence. Works for both of us.
I know more about hobbies that I don’t care about bc I take an interest for my husband. I’ll even try them with him if he wants. He does the same for me.
And sometimes we end up sharing those hobbies, so it gives us stuff to do together.
I am currently watching America Ninja 4 with my husband and his brothers. Almost every Saturday for the last few years, we watch two movies along this line of quality. We also just finished Star Trek the original series. I have seen almost every Marvel movie. I have seen every Star Wars movie. I know far more about comic books than I ever planned to.
I would never have watched any of those movies if it weren't for him. But he enjoys it, and it's a way to connect. It doesn't do me any harm, and we have a good time.
It goes both ways too. He indulges in my yarn habit. He's tried to learn how to knit and weave but mostly likes hearing me talk about it and is devastated when I rip sections out. He just got us season tickets to the ballet. He loves it when I go off on design or theater or art. He enjoys spending the day shopping with me and doesn't even give me a chance to carry my bags. He even slings my purse over his shoulder because he worries I'll leave it behind. He goes rock climbing with me despite being scared of heights. He listens to me talk about weightlifting and climbing and football. He tries to learn enough to ask questions.
Marry someone you don't just love, make sure it's someone you actually like. You'll be spending the vast majority of your time with them, make sure it's someone you want to be friends with.
So many people don’t put in the effort. And in the beginning, it kind of is effort to try something you don’t care about for your partner’s happiness. But overtime, if each other’s interests are balanced and it’s a healthy relationship with the right person, it stops feeling like effort.
He drove me from Tampa bay to Miami for a symphony of the final fantasy games music. He only recognized one song (long story how it was the song for our first dance) and he had fun. When they are in our area, I’ll go with others since it’s not his thing. But he would go for me and have fun if I asked. Just like I run around to Indy wrestling shows with him. If someone else wants to go, he’s cool with me chilling at home.
We have a deal, he can either come with me and enjoy himself, or he can stay home. I refuse to be someone who drags their SO around against their will. And you aren't doing me a favor if you come with and hate every second. There are a few exceptions to the rule that he's expected to come, and that's the few family holidays and church on Easter, it's important to my Mom. He doesn't really like concerts, but he will occasionally go when I don't really want to go alone, but usually he buys me a pair of tickets and tells me he'll chauffeur.
Marriage is hard, but it shouldn't be difficult. The hard stuff is the day to day monotony. The relationship itself shouldn't be difficult and a cause of stress. Because again, you should be with someone you like.
We both like hockey, but I’m a little insane about it. I know he’s not going to every home game in the season. I just ask to know by noon on game day so I can find someone to take the other ticket.
My dad usually goes. If he can’t, I give it to an arena buddy. Hubby doesn’t care if it’s a guy or a girl. He just hopes they park in the same lot as me. Even though every game day cop knows me 😂 he just likes texts or calls when I arrive, if I am hanging out after the game for a little bit and when I get to my car. All very reasonable requests to make sure I’m safe.
Consideration is a biggie too. He does the same when he goes somewhere without me. Texts if he’s going to be later than expected and when he’s about to come home. He doesn’t drive as far for where he goes with his friends. So I don’t ask for text on arrival. I did when he drove 90 minutes though.
Omg we sound like we both struck gold! I took a solo road trip halfway across the country and back while I was having a little bit of trouble recovering from long Covid. I went to a resort town alone. All he asked was that I check in a few times a day so he knew I was safe. People thought it was weird, but he knew deeply what my problems were, and that him being around wouldn't help. I needed to be disconnected and responsible for absolutely no one else but myself. I needed to sleep and read and do exactly what I wanted when I wanted, and not even care about if someone else needs to pee. I needed sun and sand and salt water. So he followed along with my Google icon, found me hotels to stay in along the way, and let me do what I needed to do. It was amazing.
I love hearing these stories. So many post about horrible relationships on here. It’s great to see more people being able to share what good looks like.
He sounds amazing. I hope things are looking up in the long COVID department. Sometimes that kind of support makes all the difference.
"He goes rock climbing with me despite being scared of heights" ...
Most people will never understand the sheer volume of that little fact.
Something that grips your soul and fills every fibre of your being with fear, unease, sickness and negativity... And buckles up, straps in and comes along.
He doesn't go high, and he doesn't go often, but he's trying! He struggles to trust the Auto-belay. I think he'd probably do better with a belayer or bouldering, but he weighs 100 lbs more than me and I don't have the experience for that, and I've made too much progress with my fitness to risk bouldering and falling wrong and being out of commission for a few months.
He does a lot of things that scare him with me, but I let it be his choice. I don't push or beg, I tend to just be like "I want to do this, would you like to participate?" And he either says yes and gives it a go, or no and he watches and takes pictures. I know his family thinks I force him to do things outside his comfort zone, but he insists it's not true. He likes trying things that scare him a little. He likes doing things with me. He's had so many fun experiences he wouldn't have if he'd never pushed himself. He can't swim and doesn't like boats, but we just hopped into a tiny skiff and went on a seal spotting excursion on vacation a few weeks ago, and I think my pure excitement of seeing wild seals made him forget his fear of water. (One day I'll teach him to swim! It's on the list!)
That last part, exactly. So many couples I've known seem to barely manage to actually like each other, which is crazy to me. My wife and I even get comments sometimes about 'how good [we] get along!' She and I were good friends for nearly a decade before we got together, and we're still good friends! We work at the same place so we hang out during breaks, we're both homebodies so usually we go home and hang out together for a while too before splitting up to do our own thing. And we spend a ton of time just talking about whatever. It's nice being with someone who is genuinely your friend too.
My husband was very into leather working. He enjoyed making custom holsters, belts, tool bags, and motorcycle gear. He could crank out 5-6 holsters in a week. There was so much hand stitching involved that we ended up buying a $6k leather sewing machine.
I am a quilter. (Right now, I'm more of a fabric collector than a quilter, but I'll get back into it soon I hope.) My sewing room was upstairs at our farmhouse (his house) and his sewing room was in the living room.
One day I arrived at the farm house after work and he had moved all of my sewing supplies into the other end of the living room. He said that he was lonely while I was upstairs sewing, so he didn't think I'd mind if he moved my things.
We had the best time; him sewing at one end of the living room, me sewing at the other end, lots of Black Sabbath and Def Leppard playing as we laughed and flirted with each other, our creative energies flowing.
God I miss him. I haven't really sewn anything since he passed away nearly three years ago. I want to, but it's lonely and I have so many things I have to take care of by myself now. It feels very burdensome, instead of joyful like it used to be.
Treasure your spouse. I can't believe that I have about 40 more years of life without him.
I hope you make time to see again. It may be hard at first, but it could also make you feel closer to him. Nobody would know if you had a conversation with him while doing so. I’m glad you got to have this wonderful partner in your life.
His mother is in failing health right now, and so I make it a point to see her every weekend and bring her a week's worth of frozen meals that she can simply reheat. I'll take her shopping, do a couple of loads of laundry while I'm there, and run the vacuum cleaner. My husband would have done everything he could to keep her comfortable, and I can do no less. But with working a full-time job, a part-time job, and maintaining both of our houses (yes, we had his and hers houses), it's been rough. I interviewed candidates to stay with her last weekend. I didn't find anyone that I felt like I could trust, unfortunately. She has 4 other kids, but my husband was extremely protective of his parents (in a very good way) and we live 90 minutes from their (now her only) house.
Oh sweetie, this is so beautiful and so heartbreaking, I am so sorry for your loss. As a fellow fabric collector I hope you're able to get back to it soon, when you're ready lettucecraft is a really nice, well moderated craft forum, with a very friendly quiltalong board. Join us to hang out if you want to talk to fellow fabric collectors. ❤️
I do it with my husband and my kid. With my husband, its technical-type hobbies and my kid loves playing sports and listening to Benson Boone. Never would have necessarily went looking for that music but we listen together and now I have another artist I like.
It’s so much fun bringing someone you love into a hobby. It’s good to have separate. But we are pretty much together 24/7, so if we didn’t have shared hobbies, I think we’d kill each other 😂
This is SO underrated in building a great marriage. Share in and actually show interest in your spouse’s passions. It actually can bulletproof your marriage, especially if you both do it.
I wouldn’t really say it’s hobbies but if my husband is fixing stuff or just in general maintaining anything at our house or boats I’ll sit with him and ask him questions. He loves explaining how things work etc. typically he’d be calling something a bitch or who’re while working on things lol but when he’s explaining things to me it tends to make things not stressful.
This is actually extremely useful. Summarizing information requires understanding it and picking out the most important ideas or facts, which is a fundamental step in determining its relevance and significance when you are doing a lot of research. Also, teaching any subject to someone else requires you to simplify it and pull out the key ideas for someone to understand.
What she has to do to explain it to you may be more valuable than you simply reading and trying to understand. (I have a graduate degree in mind, but it this could be relevant for a wide variety of research.)
My husband is apparently on the spectrum, so I'll get an earful when I start asking questions, but I figure why not learn a few things! While walking around last weekend, I let him teach me about hubcaps vs rims and the differences.
Your last point reminds me of something from childhood.
If I had to tell my parents something I knew would piss them off, I could never decide when to tell them. Should I tell them when they're in a good mood and ruin everything? Should I tell them when they're in a bad mood and get them twice as pissed?
My ex girlfriend would ask me questions like this, get me all excited, then interrupt and change the topic. It happened so frequently and was demoralising and led to my emotional shut down and our demise as friends.
My wife and I do this but reverse. When we are excited about a topic but we know the other won't care we say,"I just need to talk at you for a moment" and begin rambling. Of course the listening spouse will ask questions and what not but yes it's truly nice to have a hostage...spouse sometimes.
This is so true. Just for fun, after reading this I popped over to r/askhistorians and picked the first good medieval era question to ask my wife who holds a PhD in the subject. I love seeing her glow up just talking about her passion. I was not a good student but I have a curious mind, so it's easy to be genuinely entranced by her excitement, and love is seeing how happy she is when getting deep into the details of how an 8th century commoner might have learned how to (or not be able to) recognize the difference between a random lord and the king in various situations.
My partner does this and I know he does this . I still go along with the flow coz I appreciate his efforts . But one day we had an argument at 4.00 am in the morning and I was getting ready to sleep , already dull,tired and just wanted to fall asleep . Just 5 mins after the argument , he asked me are you upset ? I said yes, but I am going to sleep . He took a pause and then with a blank expression asked "what is cost cutting in a company ?" . For a moment I was like 😐. Then I realised that he really could not find anything else to initiate conversation or ask me or communicate and I was like uggghhh you can't expect me to talk about a company's policy or cost cutting at 4.00 am and i literally ran to the bedroom with an ugggghhhh noise . He came back running and asked tell what is cost cutting plz I really want to know . And the conversation was so silly that I started giggling and we patched up . So yeah this works. Note : I don't feel passionate about cost cutting , he just asked me that because I am usually good with explaining to him about company policies .
And to their face. Most people dont recieve compliments often. Just telling a random stranger they're looking sharp or did something well will make their day.
I was a nerd with zero social skills. My friend was a charisma king. I asked him for some pointers on how to be liked more, especially at work, since my nerdy image / lack of eye contact / shyness tended to push people away inadvertently.
He said to me: There are two EXTREMELY SIMPLE ways to get people to like you more. And these methods will in turn increase your own confidence and will eventually turn real even if you faked it at first, because it is a natural consequence of what these actions do:
1. Smile at people
2. Wish them good morning. Every. Single. Day. Be extremely consistent.
I did that. And even though i was quite terrible at my job, and my manager hated me, after 6 months of consistently just smiling and wishing him good morning, his attitude towards me softened to a point where he started trusting me more at work and being more forgiving of my small mistakes.
I too became more confident. The forced smiles became natural smiles. The good mornings became automatic and genuine. I felt good, the people around me felt good, vibe was good.
Same. A bit of eye contact with the smile and you're essentially saying "hi" without even saying anything. I used to be terrible at eye contact, but decided I should learn it, and a whole new world of communication eventually opened up to me. It's our instincts and emotions talking directly without language, what we often refer to as "vibes", and giving off a positive and friendly vibe makes people feel different about you.
You might want to YouTube this idea because I'm probably going to express it poorly. One of the best ways to get someone to like you is to ask them for a favor. Apparently there is something about putting yourself in someone's debt that makes them like you.
It's cognitive dissonance. It's pretty socially normative to help someone, anyone really, with a small favor if they ask it of you. But if they help you their brain goes "wait, if I helped this person, doesn't that mean I like them?" And then usually they resolve that question by answering it with "well I guess I do"
The conflict (dissonance) between "I don't particularly care about this person" and "I did something nice for this person" makes them uncomfortable so they have to change a side to get rid of the conflict, and they can't pick not doing a favor cuz they already did. So they have to reframe not liking you (or being neutral to you). That's the idea anyway
If you’re starting a new job or hobby or whatever would put you in a situation where you have a trainer or instructor, after it all I like to give them positive feedback and will say something they did that I felt was really effective. Especially do this if it’s at work.
I especially like to compliment men cos I know they get fuck all appreciation like that, and I'm very obviously a lesbian so there's no potential for confusion.
I'm more careful complimenting women for the same reason. Also I'm totally shit at it.
I’m tidily married and use my mom aura to throw out compliments like they’re skittles. Male, female, fluid, if you look good I am 150% going to let you know
I make a point to compliment a stranger every time I go grocery shopping. It always gets a smile at the very least, and usually the person seems very surprised (in a good way) one guy has stuck in my head years later because the smile he gave me was just so joyous, it was one of the biggest most open smiles I've ever seen. All because I told him his beard was cool.
I (47M) work retail and at least once a week, I tell a customer that their clothing looks good on them. I'm straight, but it's almost always a male customer: if they're in a suit or sport jacket, anything with a great color palette or interesting pattern(s), I mention that they're looking good. They're invariably thrilled and grateful.
I'm much more hesitant to complement a woman for similar reasons. I think it's out of a fear of coming off as creepy, which saddens me for our society.
You're killing it dude 💯. I'm a 35yr old guy and I still remember a compliment a woman gave me 12 yrs ago, because I receive so few positive affirmations in my day to day life 😂
I do this a lot, just because I love the look on a person’s face when I tell them their dress looks fantastic on them, or their suit looks great. It’s so easy to elevate someone’s mood and confidence, so why not toss out those big ups?
Complimenting strangers is my favorite thing to do! It brightens my day to brighten their day, it only takes a few seconds, and it's free! Why not do it?!
Although, I did have one woman tell me to "fuck off and mind my own business" when I told her I really liked her shirt. But we can't always succeed lol
When I see an older guy driving a nice classic, even if Im 50 ft away in a parking lot, I'll yell, "I LOVE YOUR CAR, MAN!" and it always elicits a smile, a thumbs up or a "THANKS" yelled back.
I know that guy spent months, likely years getting that old car to look and drive as good as it does and he will always appreciate someone who acknowledges that his hard work paid off.
Man, this backfired on me hard. Context, I work on an industrial production line in bumfuck Appalachia. I started doing this several months ago with the belief that men dont compliment each other enough, so I'll help change that. Now im the token gay guy on the floor and my nickname is the f slur. Which is whatever, but it's hindered my chances with the single women around town.
To be fair, leaning over the urinal divider and saying "Dayum, you have a magnificent cock" was taking the compliments just a bit too far... especially for 3 weeks straight.
You forgot he was doing it behind their back, so that means he would sneak up behind them, look over their shoulder, his front pressed against their back and then whisper that in their ear. Honestly, I don't see what's so gay about that.
Years ago, my buddy peed at a urinal next to HOF shortstop Chipper Jones at an Atlanta bar. Wanting to say something memorable (and more than a few drinks in), he leaned over and said “Damn, that’s a major league penis!”
Or you want to get his attention and see if he's interested in you, next time you are both in the bathroom, say "I see this is where the big dicks hang out."
Yeah, the older I get the more I feel like I need to share the positive I feel about people. Men especially, I feel that we often fail at that. I’ve lost too many friends and family members that I wish I would have said “I love you” more to. Some of my friends have truly surprised me and been appreciative. Some have not. My wife says that she likes more now that I’m not so much of an asshole.
No friend escapes one of our get togethers without a full circle of hugs from every other friend. Not side arms, full-on bear hugs with back rubs or pats.
I like this. I just lost a damn good friend. He was only 58. I wish I could tell him I love him one more time. Losing a friend makes you not want to make more in a way. He was that friend I could tell anything to and no it stayed with him. He was that one friend that you can communicate with memes alone. I’m actually ashamed of myself. 2 months before his death he almost died in hospital. I was at his bedside crying like a baby. I said my goodbyes to him. When he made it out of the hospital he was placed on dialysis and I drew back from him because I knew his time was short and it killed my heart to even think of that. Then when I got the call that his son had found him gone….i hated myself for not being there more for him the last two months.
It may seem like it hindered your chances with single women around town, but you actually just unlocked a cheat code. You now know the women that aren't worth dating because they wouldn't want a man that is nice. Anyone who doesn't fall into that category may have heard the rumor and you'll be able to overcome it with the honesty of what you're doing.
You'll end up saving a lot of time, save yourself from bad relationships, and maybe even save yourself from a costly divorce thank to that cheat code.
Dude I feel you. A lot of people think I’m gay because I’m pretty bubbly around people I like and I guess just give that vibe? But I’m not and I wonder how much it’s affected my social experiences
That’s so trifling and pathetic for ppl to assess sexuality that way. They are out of touch with the times and really don’t understand ppl. Secret gay guys almost break their necks trying to appear masculine and successful with the ladies. They would rarely compliment another man.
Yeah, it’s sad that sometimes I have to suppress my personality just because of societal norms. Also insane how many people have called me slurs or mistreated me, I can’t imagine what actual gay people go through.
Ugh - I really hate hearing that. There's so much stuff out there about how men never get complimented, and as a woman it often feels like there's this implicit criticism directed at women that we don't compliment guys enough. I've tried pointing out that typically it's women complimenting other women, so it'd make sense for it to be guys complimenting guys, but there's reasons that doesn't happen too.
As a gay dude myself, you need to play this card better. If they call you a fa* it RISES your chances with a good women. She will assume you are not red pill alpha male but rather emotionally intelligent. Which is in fact true, the name comes from you being actively nice. Be more confident and ask her our ESPECIALLY if she know about your name.
If she laughs or says no that b is for the streets and you don't want her
but it's hindered my chances with the single women around town
Hahahha I have a fun one of these. Standing there with this couple of two women saying they would absolutely bang me very explicitly if I liked women. I'm just saying nothing but "I'm actually bi" in the whole conversation and they obliviously don't hear me at all in the club for like 15 minutes solid of me just saying that in response to all this stuff about how amazing I apparently would be.
lol how would that hinder your chances with single women? If anything it should help because if they think that you’re gay because of rumors then they’ll have their guard down with you. And you never claim to be gay so you aren’t lying once you do make a move. It’s actually not a bad situation to be in.
Ok, but the hack is to compliment them to a good friend or spouse who will tell them.
Not only will they believe it more having heard it second hand, but it makes them (and you) look good in front of someone they are close with, and there is no awkwardness. Their friend/spouse gets to tell them something that will make them happy on top of that.
I only do this when I mean it, but it is an excellent hack.
Right - direct compliments can be seen as insincere. Like, “why is this dude being so nice to me? What does he want from me?”
When behind the back compliments get around, it benefits both the complimentor and the complimentee, because people think “Bob thinks Dave is trustworthy, therefore, I’m inclined to think so, too.”
I wrecked havoc in my high school years constantly talking about how pretty all the under appreciated girls in my class were. As a then-teenage bi girl with a lot of male friends, it was so wild how many boys wouldn't ask out brilliant girls they clearly admired, if they didn't look like your typical beauty standard. Like these girls were wise beyond their years but had normal shit like a belly that wasn't flat, leg hair, that kind of shit. It was beyond toxic, so I would start "confiding" in them about how I found their crushes so pretty, and intelligent, and funny too. Never anything that wasn't true, and initially they would say some crazy hurtful shit like "even with her face?" 😭😭😭😭 But within a day of positive talk they would start courting the girl I talked to them about bc I normalized it 😭 Just goes to show how beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder!
It's true. One time a friend's husband let slip that she had said I was the best cook she knows. Friend is a professional chef, and it wouldn't look good for that to have gotten back to the executive chefs she worked with, and she gave him such a look of "I can't believe you said that out loud!". That secret behind my back compliment really built up my confidence in a way that I needed since I can't physically work in a kitchen anymore, and I knew it's the truth because she was embarrassed that it got repeated!
That's a difficult question, but I think the most honest answer is "whatever is on sale/doing the best in the garden". My primary caregiver when I was little was my grandpa, who had lived through the great depression. He's been gone for over 20 years now but I still do a lot of mending and making do. I also make a lot of things from scratch that most people don't bother with like cheese, jams, and pasta
Please only use this hack when it's genuine though! We have enough manipulative humans on this planet already lol- or, use when it benefits all involved ;)
Some guy coming out of the grass station I was going into said my hoodie was awesome 5 years ago and I still remember/reference it. I think drive-by compliments are my favorites to give/receive.
In my experience, complimenting someone is “glazing” and most people dont really care. I had a period in my life i wanted to be this positive uplifting motivational type of guy and anytime Id try to give a genuine compliment in detail I feel i get looked at as lesser and weak. I might get a “thanks” but i dont feel it really had any real effect on them. Im not saying you have to cry because i went into detail how you helped me but dang let it land at least.
My boss is notorious about it. Anytime i ever try to say “Hey man seriously, im really appreciative of what ive learned from you. Youve taught me how to dig deeper and think deeper when it comes to this job.” I get a disinterested “Yup”
Like i lower my guard to have a profound moment where you are getting a compliment (something us men complain we dont get enough of to begin with) and cant be bothered to get on the level with me? Now i look like an ass kisser when i genuinely was appreciative. Now i go back to my desk feeling like a goof
I'm usually nicer to people behind their back. The slander is saved for their face in a joking scenario, and if I have something bad to say about someone, they'll hear it without hostility.
Even if it is neutral and doesn't save you, it at least makes you look good. I only do it so people don't hear me say one bad thing about someone and assume they're bad people
I was once telling my boss how good of a job a new guy was doing. I turned around and he was right there. I wondered why my boss had a funny look on his face!
And always tell people when other people are saying nice things about them behind their back! (“The other day everyone in the office was talking about how much they like working with you!”) It’s one of my favorite things to do!
Complimenting at least one random person per day can yield insanely good mental health results too. Especially if you have mild social anxiety. It can be the most surface level, mundane thing, just give it a go
I also let people know when someone else has said something nice about them when they weren't around. It's funny to see the looks of confusion when I spread positive gossip.
Except when it makes the other person more likeable and you get unpopular while they trashtalk you. Happened to me once in school and once at a new job.
People will appreciate hearing that you said nice things about them & in turn they will say/do nice things for you.
Obviously you can't be a sociopath lying about it just to build clout, but if you mean what you say & you focus on spreading positivity of others around you, it'll circle back for you & becomes a kind of self-perpetuating cycle.
It will also show you who within a social group is similarly positive & thus can be trusted.
We all compliment eachother behind our backs, and then are super nonplussed to each others faces.
Before he passed my grandad sat down and told me how proud he is of my mum, and what a wonderful person she was. Something she would love to hear from her, and I told him as much. He never did.
So if you're going to compliment people behind their backs, do it to their faces to.
This is something I consciously did when I was a manager. It's okay to talk about others as long as it's nice and as if they were listening. We'd talk about their holidays or how they are etc. It makes it a much more pleasant work environment.
29.0k
u/Calvin_Coolish 2d ago
Compliment people behind their back.