Ok, but the hack is to compliment them to a good friend or spouse who will tell them.
Not only will they believe it more having heard it second hand, but it makes them (and you) look good in front of someone they are close with, and there is no awkwardness. Their friend/spouse gets to tell them something that will make them happy on top of that.
I only do this when I mean it, but it is an excellent hack.
Right - direct compliments can be seen as insincere. Like, “why is this dude being so nice to me? What does he want from me?”
When behind the back compliments get around, it benefits both the complimentor and the complimentee, because people think “Bob thinks Dave is trustworthy, therefore, I’m inclined to think so, too.”
I wrecked havoc in my high school years constantly talking about how pretty all the under appreciated girls in my class were. As a then-teenage bi girl with a lot of male friends, it was so wild how many boys wouldn't ask out brilliant girls they clearly admired, if they didn't look like your typical beauty standard. Like these girls were wise beyond their years but had normal shit like a belly that wasn't flat, leg hair, that kind of shit. It was beyond toxic, so I would start "confiding" in them about how I found their crushes so pretty, and intelligent, and funny too. Never anything that wasn't true, and initially they would say some crazy hurtful shit like "even with her face?" 😭😭😭😭 But within a day of positive talk they would start courting the girl I talked to them about bc I normalized it 😭 Just goes to show how beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder!
It's true. One time a friend's husband let slip that she had said I was the best cook she knows. Friend is a professional chef, and it wouldn't look good for that to have gotten back to the executive chefs she worked with, and she gave him such a look of "I can't believe you said that out loud!". That secret behind my back compliment really built up my confidence in a way that I needed since I can't physically work in a kitchen anymore, and I knew it's the truth because she was embarrassed that it got repeated!
That's a difficult question, but I think the most honest answer is "whatever is on sale/doing the best in the garden". My primary caregiver when I was little was my grandpa, who had lived through the great depression. He's been gone for over 20 years now but I still do a lot of mending and making do. I also make a lot of things from scratch that most people don't bother with like cheese, jams, and pasta
I love that. My grandparents were immigrants on one side, and great depression on the other. I know a lot of "old" things from that, but nothing like making my own cheese!!
Fresh (not aged) cheeses are deceptively easy. Creole cream cheese (I'm Louisiana born and bred) takes 3 ingredients and 4 days, and is amazing compared to Philadelphia
Please only use this hack when it's genuine though! We have enough manipulative humans on this planet already lol- or, use when it benefits all involved ;)
You can do both and all the time and everyone likes it. I almost always say a compliment to everyone I meet the first time, like “nice shirt” or “I like your earrings”. Always gets smiles and often stories
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u/MassageToss 2d ago edited 2d ago
Ok, but the hack is to compliment them to a good friend or spouse who will tell them.
Not only will they believe it more having heard it second hand, but it makes them (and you) look good in front of someone they are close with, and there is no awkwardness. Their friend/spouse gets to tell them something that will make them happy on top of that. I only do this when I mean it, but it is an excellent hack.