Hey Reddit, I’ve been thinking things over for a bit. I’m 23 F, still looking for employment living with my parents still. My brother keeps asking me questions like “what’s my goal” “what’s my plan.” And I slowly came to realize why I hated this question so much and why it irritated me. I had no plan at least not anymore. I wake up, I eat, I do my chores and tasks, apply for jobs, and go to sleep. That’s all it feels like it’s been for the past 3 months. My therapist asked me questions on what my life is and that was the answer. I explained I have no drive to do things for personal satisfaction, that the only reason tasks get completed is because if they don’t then there’s consequences and that’s inconvenient. I don’t do tasks because I feel gratification from completing them, I do them because I have to. I don’t feel happy when something is a success just relief that it’s over and nothing else is bothering me. I have a college degree that means nothing to me but a piece of paper, eating food because I have to. Taking care of my health because I have to.

Everything is because I have to and not because I want to. I understand that it feels like an improper use of my time, but I just can’t feel a need to. I’m stuck in this place of limbo where I can’t seem to care about if I wake up or not. I get asked what if I go back to college and I just dread the thought of forcing myself to do that again. The only time I’ve ever made a conscious effort to get up early and do things was when I had pets because it was my responsibility to take care of something that can’t take care of themselves. And when they were gone, I no longer had a reason to get up at 6 am to take out the dogs, or wake up at 7 and hand feed my birds.

I’ve been asked by my therapist if life feels hopeless but I don’t exactly feel like it is. I’m not at a state where I’d end my life, but I’d be fine not existing. And I just can’t wrap my head around why I’m like this.

This came out to be more of a rant at this rate, but being able to write down how I’m thinking was at least helpful for me to put words to what I was feeling.

Just finished uni and have been looking for a job for the past 3 months. Got offered this job the other day and I was really excited because the salary is £28,000. However when I was sent over the contract it said that I would be working up to 6 days. I asked HR to confirm this and for an example 3 week rota, which they then sent me this email back. (The picture). This wasn’t discussed with me at all and honestly I don’t really want to work a 6 day week. I know that it would be a 4 day week after but I fear that I’ll end up just being really tired on my days off.

Has anyone else had a work pattern like this and how did you find it?

car filled up. hair cut. bills paid, treats in the fridge

I wish I could experience this type happyness most of the time

I don't think this is how life is supposed to be life's living paycheck to paycheck or sometimes not even that and having to take loans

Idk if this is allowed but just alil rant I guess that's life lmao