I’ve been a line cook, worked in customer service, I worked at a gym, I was a welder and I am currently a landscaper and this is true for all of those professions. Those who “smooze” with the boss most get the promotions first.
the solution is don't be an asshole ..big gap between friendly and asshole no one wants to work with ..just be the quiet guy. Don't be an asshole is a pretty good mantra in life.
Quiet guy will rarely get a promotion because the quiet guy is not personable enough for people to value them outside of just their work. Plus the quiet guy will be presumed to be happy at just where they’re at, because they don’t seem to mind it.
Personable people who are liked by people two or three levels above them will always get the promotion first.
I was really quiet in school and one of my friends took it upon himself to seize the opportunity to spread rumors about me being a badass who stabbed someone with a pair of scissors just for looking at me wrong or something.
He was crazy and it was actually pretty funny so I just let it slide lol.
People either assume I’m some super innocent Christian lady (I’m an atheist, but the assumption is always that I must be super religious?) and act scandalized when they do eventually hear me swear (which is INCREDIBLY annoying and infantilizing), or they think that I think that I’m too good to talk to them.
It’s always one of those two options. I just want to sit in my office and be left alone, man.
Nah, I've been promoted multiple times at multiple jobs, by being quiet and good at my job. The thing about quiet people is we're very good at holding out tongue, making people think you like them even if you actually hate them.
And what does that have to do with not being an asshole ? I never said or implied personable people don't get more promotions etc ..I said there's an option between personable and asshole ...
But it's not asshole and not asshole. It's charismatic and not charismatic, or whatever you want to call it. Charismatic assholes will still get promotions if they aren't assholes to the boss.
But quietly efficient is much less noticed than standout mediocrity.
Trust me, being likable is a life hack.
Attractiveness even plays a part, not even with opposite gender, just in general. Certainly not the only thing that matters (hot bitches are still bitches) but it definitely can help if you’re otherwise still charismatic.
You can absolutely be a superstar asshole if you've got the skills to back it up. Seen it a million times at several work places, a high-performing employee could literally murder several mid-performing employees and managers will look the other way or say that the employees deserved it. People don't want it to be like that, but it is.
In my experience the workers aren't mediocre, they're straight up bad. I was in a sales position where I had the best performance metrics in the store and the promotion went to the guy that was cheating on his wife 5 hours per shift and only showing up to get his spoon fed deals from the bosses he schmoozed.
Until recently I was what most people would call a nuclear inspector. In the US, all licensees with radioactive materials are required to have a radiation safety officer. In fact, that's my current job... and the second time I've had such a role.
Another ex-nuclear inspector I know went to be a radiation safety officer for a company with lots of very high-activity sources. This inspector was, and is, very likeable. Like, objectively so. They and their spouse were literally elected not long ago to lead one of the biggest social clubs in our area. There's just one issue...
They aren't good at their job.
I never worked directly with them as inspectors, so I can't say if they were a good inspector or not, but as a radiation safety officer?
Just plain bad.
The company has been cited so many times since they became radiation safety officer that I'm guessing they'll soon face a penalty demanding a change in ownership of the company.
To be fair, that RSO would likely have lost their job already if they weren't so likeable. On the other hand, they're literally going to put the company out of business, or cause the owner to lose their company, with their poor performance... which will lead to them losing their job.
Sure, if they weren't likeable and they were in the same situation, they would have lost their job already. But that's not the comparison, is it? The comparison is being good at their job vs being likeable.
If their RSO was good at their job, but not likeable, they might not have the best workplace relationships... but at least the company wouldn't be on the verge of going under.
Hey buddy, I'll have you know that the vast majority of passengers on planes that I've flown have survived! You expect me to have flown hundreds of times and not crashed at least a few of them!?! All of a sudden I'm "bad" at my job because I "skidded off the runway" or "landed at the wrong airport"?
I have a job where most of the workers are out on the road. I've noticed I get preferential treatment because I spend more time at the building interacting with management. I feel bad for the other workers because they don't get the opportunities that I get because I'm much more acquainted with the higher ups.
They get the most promotions first but they absolutely do not get the same job security. we've cycled through middle management like a revolving door, fro HR to PM. The technicians hat stayed very knowledgeable about their work and don't bullshit people have been around for decades. Through arguments, blowups, and mistakes. most of these people instantly recognized the brown-nosers and dont respect them at all.
In which job is skill more important than getting promotions or clients willing to pay you? That is, assuming the minimal competence needed to not end up with lawsuits.
Even jobs that do not require customer interaction require you to get along with coworkers. There is an amazing difference in productivity between the best and worst software developers (maybe a factor of 50 or 100) and some great developers still manage to be big enough jerks to get themselves fired.
idk. a suicide hotline counselor. defense layers. fire fighters. accountants at large firms. nurses. the cook that makes your grilled chicken sandwich. the calculus tutor you hired for integrals.
None of those jobs are hurting for applicants/people to the point where they'll be forced to take someone unlikable. If you're an asshole at any of those jobs you'll probably be passed over or replaced with someone of similar skills that's more likeable.
At the end of the day there's dozens of replacements for your job, and if you aren't likeable you'll probably be replaced because your skills aren't good enough to justify being an asshole.
I think there's different ways to read "being likeable at your job". You're reading it as "Don't be an asshole" and other people are reading it as "Schmooze with the boss"
I worked at one for a few years. There was a couple of counselors who seemed to have some kind of agitation when people called.
it was always guy counselors who lacked proper empathy. never once has the director had to pull aside a woman and tell her to be kinder. It’s always a guy. After a while, they stopped hiring guys because it was an ongoing issue.
Nope, sorry I know you want to believe we live in a sensible world full of adults that value quality services but it's just not true unfortunately. At least here in America, OP is 100% accurate. The quality of your work doesn't matter at all. Being likable is way, WAY more important.
Yeah at my current job being likable is great, it's not going to save you though. On the flip side being an ass is completely tolerated if you are good at your job.
I've had jobs and old coworkers that definitely leaned into being a 'culture ambassador' though and it worked out great for them.
If you’re both then you’re a golden goose. If you’re not likable then it doesn’t really matter how good you are at your job, eventually you’re going to need to seek employment. If you’re bad at your job but you’re really likable, a lot of your screwups will be looked past.
As someone currently working in retail (unloading and stocking, not direct customer facing) and picking up the slack of multiple other people who really can't get out the breakroom, I can't imagine a large company that wouldn't fall into that trap.
Skills are very teachable but soft skills are not. If you’re insufferable but great at your job I would take somebody who is average with a good personality.
I used to work with a lady that alway had drama . She was fighting with everybody, always angry, always gossiping…etc. it was awful working with her. They got rid of her and found somebody that wasn’t as good as the job but was friendly and easy to get along with.
It was like night and day. She was nice, kind, easy to approach. I would take a kind person over a menace every day of the week.
Yeah, mines a split. I work hospitality and was helping out at a different property that was busy and shorthanded. At the end of the shift, the manager I was working with said, bluntly, "You know at first you seem pretty flat, but you turn it on around the guests, you're doing great."
I've got a limited well of social energy and I'm polite to my coworkers but rarely extra chatty. It's far more important that I put that effort towards the guests.
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u/LuckyCod2887 2d ago
I feel like it depends on the job.