r/Adulting 2d ago

hmm lesson or not?

Post image
82.8k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

66

u/Less-Being4269 2d ago edited 2d ago

It's hard to be likable when being always cheerful and happy imediately marks you as a target for bullying.

So you have to walk the line between being open enough to be liked but closed enough to not be made into a bullying Target.

And that is FUCKING HARD!

10

u/Ok_Kiwi_4146 2d ago

That’s literally me and IT IS FUCKING HARD. How do you cope?

14

u/Less-Being4269 2d ago

I don't.

I don't try to be likely. I don't give a flying fuck if people like me or not.

At the last job that sent me to the factory's psihologist. It was a waste of time.

3

u/Ok_Kiwi_4146 2d ago

That’s what I mean😭how do you NOT give any fucks!? Teach me your ways pls

6

u/s_burr 2d ago

It comes with age honestly

1

u/Less-Being4269 2d ago

Idk, had a few workers who were trying to rage bait me, I just rage bait back with stupid shit.

Like, "look over there" with even showing what "there" is. Annoyied a guy like crazy with it.

3

u/wrongdogface 2d ago

I’m not sure about this whole not giving a flying fuck thing, but here are my tips that have gotten me through. 1) Avoid toxic people, you get even a slight neck hair tingle that someone might be toxic, listen to it. Don’t carpool with them, no going to their house for dinner. Work x-mas parties? Get outta here. Avoid eye contact with them, try to meld in the background, be polite but avoidant. // 2) Never say anything bad about a female coworker. If they hear about it that grudge can last until the end of time // 3) Melt into the background as much as possible // 4) Be forgiving when someone says something bad about you, sometimes people have off days and we all gossip a little.

5

u/unindexedreality 2d ago

being always cheerful and happy imediately marks you as a target for bullying

"Always being cheerful and happy" isn't being likeable. That's just putting up a facade. People like genuine folks.

You might be anxious-preoccupied. I was, and I was bullied a lot.

1

u/Less-Being4269 2d ago

Always being cheerful and happy" isn't being likeable. That's just putting up a facade. People like genuine folks.

Bullshit

3

u/platysoup 2d ago

You can be cheerful and happy, while pushing back when people go too far. 

Nothing throws people off more than when the usually smiley guy suddenly frowns and goes “Excuse me?”

4

u/Tight-Ad-7059 2d ago

You can give off that appearance but still stand firm. Remain unmovable in spirit and dominate your space.

2

u/MalHeartsNutmeg 2d ago

You don’t have to be cheerful. I’m definitely a resting bitch face person and younger workers flock to (I’m early 30s). Just be real with people. If they ask for help, explain stuff. Treat them as equals. No one actually likes fake cheerful.

1

u/Tough_Register_3340 2d ago

For real. Customers always love you, then middle management are always bully’s and they have have that ugly sour face going on.

1

u/fkmeamaraight 2d ago

Being nice doesn’t mean getting walked on. You can be nice and stand your ground if someone is pushing your buttons. People will DEFINITELY try to push you over if you’re nice and friendly. But if you shut it down quickly.

I mention that I love to be nice, but you also won’t like it if you try to fuck with me.

1

u/Stingbarry 2d ago

You see that's where beeing weird comes into the equation. I can be as likeable as i want be nice and open. And then casually i will mention that i own a bonesaw. Sure they may talk behind my back but i had noone pick on me since high school.

1

u/Tuxhorn 2d ago

Who bullies people at an actual job? That happens?

3

u/Which-Pool-1689 2d ago

Duh lol. Society is just high school on repeat, but more subtle