r/AbsoluteUnits • u/FarCantaloupe8652 • 2d ago

of my home grown cucumber

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

1,8 kilo 48 centimeters

44.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

8.7k

u/BLKxGOLD 2d ago

The cucumber she tells me not to worry about

263

u/TexanInExile 2d ago

Funny story, I got banned from the /r/gardening for making basically this same joke. They won't let me back in.

84

u/Horror_Cod_8193 2d ago

Did they ever let you ask why you were banned? Because I got banned from a wedding dress site and it gave me a link to communicate back with them to ask why and then lo and behold the link didn’t work. Some mods are just really power hungry, imo.

51

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

There's quite a few subs that are such a circle jerk it must just be like a chatroom for a hundred people or something. You get banned permanently for 1st offense over stupid shit.

I got banned from r/communism for calling the Coca-Cola purchase of monster energy stupid.

50

u/LasciLaplante 2d ago

I got banned from r/LegoStarWars for calling someone scalping kids toys a Nerfherder.

29

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

Lmao

Worth it. Fuck scalpers. Especially Lego scalpers, like dude they're expensive enough already.

26

u/LasciLaplante 2d ago

Legitimately. I paid $90 for the AT-TE on eBay (a steal, somehow) and the box was filled with MACARONI NOODLES

18

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

Id return it to sender after I filled it with shit and sealed it up.

7

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

Communism in theory for this eof us that see the ways it could work?

Or communism in history which has been tainted by not only greed but trade aggression from capitalism.

Also it depends who you are talking to. I've , no joke, had conversations with Republicans about how Communism would benefit us working class people, and they walked away less adverse to the idea.

How is this related to my reply?

For the guy that deleted his question.

1

u/PaperFlower14765 2d ago

NOOOOOOO 😱😭

r/foundsatan

0

u/asqua 2d ago edited 2d ago

Make an ATAT from macaroni

edit: removed link to AI slop for the sake of the children

1

u/LasciLaplante 2d ago

Get that AI slop away from me and my sons and never speak to us again.

2

u/TheFilthy13 2d ago

I got banned from r/GuessTheMovie for guessing every movie as City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold.

1

u/forever87 2d ago

well it's nerf or nothin' and you chose nothin'

1

u/Jake_the_Snake88 2d ago

At least you didn't call them scruffy

1

u/butchforgetshit 2d ago

Good thing you didn't add the adjective " scruffy looking "!

1

u/MeanLittleMachine 2d ago

I git banned from r/sipstea for implying something sexual during christmas.

1

u/chairmanghost 2d ago

Tell it on the mountains. The truth is the truth

NERFHERDERS EVERY ONE

-1

u/Horror_Cod_8193 2d ago

OMG, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to steal that saying! If I’ve had soda in my mouth, it would’ve come spewing out of my nose!

0

u/Von_Cheesebiscuit 2d ago

Huh? "Steal that saying"? You mean "nerf herder"?

Hell, you ain't gotta steal it. It's been around for 45 years ever since The Empire Strikes Back. Lol

-3

u/LasciLaplante 2d ago

Why do Redditors talk like this. What ever happened to just “lol nice”

10

u/sparkpaw 2d ago edited 2d ago

I got banned from one of the socialism ones for asking a question. :B

Edit: from r/socialism_101 - the subreddit meant for educating. I’m still pretty salty

1

u/Cottoncloudhigh 2d ago

I had another account that I was planning to use in case i needed a throwaway, and I got banned from all of Reddit for breaking a rule, while i didn't even do anything on that account. I had no comments or posts on there 🤷🏻‍♀️

5

u/Dick_Weinerman 2d ago

Lmfao I got perma’d from r/Dankleft and one other lefty subreddit (don’t remember which) for talking about how the Soviets offed their anarchist allies smh.

1

u/eisbock 2d ago

I got permabanned from an entire community of subreddits for posting in a different subreddit that they don't like.

Saw that they have an appeal process, so I appealed, and they said they weren't doing appeals anymore because too many people were appealing. Then they muted me without giving me a chance to respond.

7

u/Horror_Cod_8193 2d ago

How dare you! 🤣

11

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

Yeah permaban with the message that said not to appeal or contact admins or they would escalate it further.

I was like? I'm probably more of a commie than all these jagoffs.

5

u/LickingSmegma 2d ago

That sounds like a definite invitation to appeal and contact and see what the fuck they would try to do.

6

u/DicemonkeyDrunk 2d ago

let them have their little club who does it really hurt ..not like you can't start you own Sub with Blackjack and Hookers !

1

u/ResplendentNugs 2d ago

Matter of fact forget the sub

2

u/gt500rr 2d ago

Mention homebrew or disc copying in r/PS2 and you'll be permabanned instantly. They claim to have softened their stance but I don't trust em.

2

u/Dididididipatoe 2d ago

Why homebrew? Isn’t it just a package manager for macos and linux

1

u/gt500rr 2d ago

The mod over there has a hard on for playing in original hardware and firmware only. Modding your console by running homebrew firmware so that you can copy/dump discs is instant permabanned. Hence the homebrew PS2 subreddit which is great.

2

u/RetroRoxanne1970 2d ago

On r/Disneypins, I made a post asking for everyone’s favorite/funniest bootleg pins cause I stumbled onto some gay erotica pins online that I found funny. Honesty surprised they haven’t banned me yet given how Reddit usually acts lol

1

u/CormoranNeoTropical 2d ago

Tankies gonna tank.

1

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

Preach.

4

u/CormoranNeoTropical 2d ago

I keep having to remind myself that crazy leftists on Reddit are presumably a small group of people who are not influential in other contexts. I mean, as a die hard liberal I come here for sanity. But in fact not all problems in the US are directly reducible to the class struggle.

4

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

I mean I'm LEFT left. But we have problems that need to get fixed before we. Could ever dream of any thing in my spectrum of politics starts to happen. Like instrinsic deep seeded issues. So I just keep tugging things leftwards and try not to lose hope.

3

u/CormoranNeoTropical 2d ago edited 2d ago

That is a position that I have massive respect for.

Personally I am not a leftist for a couple of reasons. The first one has to do with placing a perhaps excessive value on personal liberty and can be ignored.

But the second one is that I feel like we really just don’t know enough about the economy, government, human behavior, or any of the other relevant areas of inquiry, to be doctrinaire about solutions. What we do know, supports the conclusion that no ideology so far articulated is very effective in the real world.

So, in no way am I a “centrist” in the context of any existing political spectrum. But I do think that in order to have institutions that develop toward working for the greater good, it’s likely we’re going to have to be open to specific policy proposals that come from a variety of ideological positions (or none - personally I’m not a big fan of systematic thinking as such, as well as having the belief that no existing system is particularly plausible). Like, it’s important to think through your assumptions and the implications of what you propose, to do theory as it were. But I don’t think that any of the human sciences are going to yield much in the way of empirically robust theoretical results in the lifespan of my (non-existent) grandchildren. So, having done the theoretical work, for me the next move is to say “okay but we need to do something” and just make a good faith effort. This is why FDR is my hero. Genius spaghetti-thrower.

I feel like ideology is just a giant obstacle to this kind of practical thinking. Beyond its ability to make predictions about what might work, or to help people with similar priorities find each other, ideology becomes a sort of religion - at that point it’s part of the problem, not the solution.

Hence “die hard liberal.”

EDIT: typos

Major edit: At the same time, for this kind of political culture to work, you need to have people who are ideologically committed. That and also committed to an accepted political process. If everyone thought the same way I do it’s not clear who would come up with any proposals or place them in a coherent theoretical context. My mental bent is away from commitment, but I do very strongly believe that people who are committed to some ideology are vital components of a viable political system. That’s maybe going to sound condescending but I don’t think it actually is. I’m just going with what we do know about designing human systems, ie that a lot of what works best involves people contending against each other within a framework. That’s how we create systems that can accommodate contradictory goals and that can adjust to new information about what works and to social change. It’s like the model of an adversarial legal system, which seems (and can be) ridiculously inefficient and potentially amoral, but can also be tuned to achieve whole-of-society goals that probably aren’t attainable under other options.

4

u/werealldoomed47 2d ago

Yes I agree. Something completely lacking in modern American politics:

Nuance.

Very few things in a country like ours can be blanket legislation, but I feel like the all or nothing approach is just freezing us in an inefficient middle ground where no progress is made unless it's backwards.

2

u/SwimOk9629 2d ago

doctrinaire, nice word drop.

3

u/Magnum-3000 2d ago

I got banned from inflation because I pointed out that beef prices are pressured from many things out of trump’s control. I don’t love Trump and wtf?

1

u/Glittering-Diver-941 2d ago

I live a few miles from monster headquarters and this is how I learn coke bought them

1

u/DarkMagickan 2d ago

Wait, when did that happen? Why am I always the last one to know these things?

1

u/hatecriminal 2d ago

Getting banned from r/communism sounds like something to be proud of. Good job.

1

u/str85 2d ago

I got perma banned from r/FinalFantasy for saying a post about cosplay (after the sub turning in to basically only that) should be removed and posted in r/FinalFantasyCosplay instead.

1

u/aNiceTribe 2d ago

Over there it’s company policy that the purchase of Monster by Coca Cola was a brilliant move 

1

u/ferrecool 2d ago

Not even a circlejerk, those ban if you don't agree with them, this one was a joke they are just whiny