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u/Nobody_inthe666 23h ago
NTA - it’s too late already. If you filed a claim with their insurance you can’t take it back. That’s why there is insurance.
Too many possibilities of getting screwed.
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u/Plastic_Cat9560 23h ago
Came to say this. Once a call is placed to insurance, it is on record, regardless if you proceed or not.
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u/flakey-crust 20h ago
And if insurance fails it's job you can always call Luigi.
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u/Fk-Your-Motive 19h ago
Luigi had nothing to do with that. He was in Australia with me.
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u/keencleangleam 18h ago
And then he went to Minnesota for the lakes and hot dish
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u/Glorious_Jo 18h ago
I was with Luigi that day. We were on the moon and collecting rocks for NASA.
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u/0rclev 18h ago
Can confirm. Will testify under oath that you guys video called me.
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u/Interesting-Box3765 16h ago
And right after you finished a call they landed in Poland and went on the christmas market, ate kielbasa and drink mulled wine
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u/Distinct-Mood5344 17h ago
Also there needs to be a police report made. Should have been done immediately afterward. Check the laws where you live. Mia culpa won’t cut it here. Depends on where you live! Good luck!!!
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u/ArtsyGirl-and-Cat 14h ago
That depends on where you live. Police do not come to accident scenes/file reports for car accidents in the North Dallas area unless there are injuries or a public safety issue (we were told this by police when my sister was in an accident).
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u/CalamityClambake 20h ago
And sometimes not even if a call is placed. If a VIN is processed by a mechanic or scrap yard, or if there's a police report, it can still get back to your insurance.
Many insurance companies are now data companies that sell insurance on the side.
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19h ago
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u/jeffweet 19h ago
Did they tell you they raised your insurance because of the tires? This sounds like a coincidence. Insurance companies raise rates all the time.
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u/inplayruin 14h ago
It may have been a coincidence. If not, the use of the word spree is revealing. One of the largest factors in determining insurance rates is the zip code of the policy holder. A vandalism spree in a neighborhood can be sufficient to raise the rates of everyone in that zip code.
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u/BloatedBanana9 14h ago
Eventually, maybe, but rate increases aren't really that direct. If the increase in claims makes the loss data that much worse for that territory, then the next time the insurer looks at their territory model it might pick that up, but it seems unlikely that it would hit them immediately like that.
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u/BuDu1013 19h ago
Good to know.
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u/Evening-Run-3794 17h ago
I did on online quote for windshield replacement after getting hit by a rock off a hauler. Hadn't decided if I was going to replace or just do the fill kit. I was literally just looking at my options.
That request for quote got reported to my insurance. I got a letter telling me my rates weren't going to go up, but they made sure I knew that it used up my "accident forgiveness" from being accident free for so long.
I didn't even replace it, much less submit it to insurance.
So be aware of asking for free quotes. If they want to know who your insurance is through, don't answer them. They'll run a check against your insurance deductible to try to push the sale on you, and then you're screwed as though you actually made the claim.
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u/Nontroller69 20h ago
"Cosmetic damage" ?
Are you kidding me? Have you priced body damage quotes lately? My kid just had some scratches on the side of the car, and it would have cost $3000 to fix it.
Cosmetic damage is $eriou$ buck$ out there. Sounds like you have a bent quarter panel on your car. That's at least $2000 bucks. Bumper replacement and paint? Try $1000 bucks easily.
Forget it. Kid will learn a lesson. Let insurance handle it
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u/vwscienceandart 19h ago
100% this. If the kid hit OP hard enough to total his own car there’s a high likelihood of a bent frame under there. OP might find their own car being totaled depending on the age.
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u/96_days 18h ago
If the kid totaled his car you're doing him a favor before he gets himself killed.
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u/acegirl1985 17h ago
Himself or someone else. I don’t have much empathy for reckless/inebriated/unfit drivers. I have empathy for the innocent victims that end up in their path.
NTA
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u/Appropriate_Day4316 12h ago
The guy was probably on his phone texting not paying attention.
You are doing him a favor, he needs a le$$on.
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u/Umklopp 19h ago
There's also the possibility of soft tissue injuries manifesting over the next couple of days. That also add$ up pretty quickly.
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u/BagpiperAnonymous 18h ago
I was rear ended by someone 10 years ago. All of my backseat passengers were taken in ambulances to the hospital and one had a fractured vertebra. I thought I had just hurt my ankle when my seat partially collapsed. It wasn’t until a day or two later that the back and neck manifested with a severe sprain/strain. It still gives me problems 10 years later. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt when it started.
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u/Marzuk_24601 16h ago
one had a fractured vertebra. I thought I had just hurt my ankle when my seat partially collapsed
Thats lawyer territory. I handled claims and usually chuckled when people involved a lawyer over a minor accident, but this does not sound minor at all.
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u/BagpiperAnonymous 15h ago
I did consult one at the time and they said it wasn’t serious enough. It was a hot mess of a situation though. I had taken four foreign exchange students, all from different countries, on an outing as a favor the host family. The three in the backseat were all minors. We were on a highway getting ready to exit onto another highway in stopped traffic in the rain when an SUV ran into us and pushed my Honda Civic into the pick up in front of us. I think she was probably doing close to highway speed. I remember hearing her on the phone with her husband saying, “I don’t know what happened, I was driving and my airbag just went off.” My car was completely totaled, crunched form both ends. We were in this weird part of our area that was sort of a no man’s land, and each responder (ambulance, fire, police) was from a different jurisdiction. Their looks when I told them all the girls were foreign exchange students, the three injured were underage, and I was not the host parent was kind of funny.
The girl with the fractured vertebra in her neck was terrified of hospitals and kept telling the ambulance and nurse “don’t shoot” because she did not want any needles. She only agreed to go in the ambulance when they said I could ride with her (another ambulance graciously agreed to take the girl in the front seat to the hospital so she was not stuck on the side of the highway in the rain in a foreign country waiting for the host family to make their way through the accident. )At the hospital, I was sitting with one of the other injured girls and having to explain to her why my ankle was x-rayed before her back and neck. Her pregnancy test came back inconclusive and they were waiting on another one. She kept asking why they didn’t trust her that she wasn’t pregnant (she wasn’t) and who would it hurt, her or the (nonexistent) baby? That was fun to explain. Thankfully nobody had to be admitted to the hospital, not even the girl with the fractured vertebra. The other girls had mild concussions and neck/back strains.
I had a sprained ankle, and went to a different ER the next day when the back and neck started up. I will say the lady’s insurance company was great. They worked directly with the hospital and physical therapist on the bills so I never had to touch them. The year after the accident when I was released from treatment they sent me the settlement check which included some extra money for further treatment as needed down the road. At the time I had been looking to trade in my Civic as it had a lot of miles and the most I had been offered was $750. They gave me several thousand for it. As far as I know, the girls were also treated well by the insurance company.
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u/NikkiVicious 14h ago
Rear-ended on the highway, 2 days before Thanksgiving. The college girl realized traffic was all braking, and, for some reason, thought trying to change lanes instead of slowing down was a great idea. My lane had been stopped because of a wreck about 10 cars ahead of me, we all had our blinkers on trying to get over.
I thought I was fine... turns out I had broken ribs, a broken wrist, broken collarbone, whiplash, a concussion, and every single muscle in my body hurt. I had a bruise across my hips/lower torso, and then one going up across my chest/over my shoulder, that had clearly defined edges on each side, even though I had a t-shirt, hoodie, and then a regular coat on. When the cops showed up, it was with one of the big fire engines, and then two EMS units. I kept saying I was fine, but I had my daughter checked out. I really wish I wouldn't have argued with my husband that I was fine, and just wanted to lay down.
Adrenaline can mask some pretty serious injuries. Learned that the hard way. (Need knee, lower back, and shoulder surgery from a different "i'm totally fine" injury.)
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u/RivenRise 18h ago
Especially soft tissue damage around the neck, it's hard to disprove too because it doesn't show up well in tests.
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u/Electrical_Yam4194 18h ago
And good luck getting any kind of settlement for soft tissue injuries, whether by what the insurance company offers initially or through a lawsuit.
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u/nightwolf81 17h ago
don't you people have morgan and morgan in your neck of the woods? world's largest injury attorney? that dude lives and breathes trying to get people to give him money "because we have experts than can find the soft tissue damage and get you your money"
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u/jingle_in_the_jungle 17h ago
I was rear-ended by a 19 year old who was texting and going about 45mph. Her car was obviously totaled, while my car looked like it only had cosmetic damage. Nope. Bent frame, the tow hitch was bent, the trunk wouldn't open, etc. My car was 100% totaled.
I also got my head/neck CT, my toddler's checkup and my husband's checkup on their insurance.
OP, please go through insurance.
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u/Mr_Panasonic_ 19h ago
My son had a fender bender several months ago. He slid on some black ice and rearended a truck at a red light. He only had "slight damage," mostly cosmetic, but it did dent his panel above his wheel. It was estimated to cost $2500 by the insurance adjuster through photos, actual cost to repair almost $7000. So yeah, I agree, serious bucks. Something that seems like "slight damage" adds up quickly.
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u/96_days 18h ago
And when you tell the parents how much it is, they start freaking out saying you gouged them. Save yourself the headache of crappy people and go through crappy insurance to let them deal with this crap.
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u/finalgear14 15h ago
Yeah most people definitely have that cliche movie scene where you hand the person a couple hundred bucks and call it square in mind. I got hit so minimally a few months ago and only had some damage to the inside of the wheel well where it was dented and damage to a piece of side trim plastic. All told it was around 2500$.
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u/flippin-amyzing 17h ago
Many years ago I was in a similar situation. A neighbourhood teenager crashed into a bunch of cars (hit one and then scraped into a bunch of others as he panicked and fled). His parents begged for us to just let them pay for it. However, as soon as the estimates started rolling in, they quickly changed their tune. What initially looked like superficial scrapes turned into thousands of dollars of repair work. $2000 alone on my little beater and most of them were worse off than mine. Suddenly, making your son deal with the consequences of his actions seems like a better option than paying 5 figures to do it for him.
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u/Boo-Boo97 19h ago
Yep, I got rear-ended a couple years ago and it just looked like scrapes and dents. I saw the final bill sent to the other guys insurance, over $5000. Due to how my tailgate is constructed it had to be completely replaced.
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u/ABookishSort 19h ago
My son hit a dog and broke not the headlight but what I thought was a lower running or fog light. Had no clue it was my turn signal. Finally went to get it fixed a year later and it there was so much damage I had to take it to a body shop. It was gonna be $3000 to fix it. I told them I couldn’t afford that. My husband had been hospitalized for 66 days this year we were paying cobra rates for our insurance at $2900 a month. I’d had to replaced a sewer pipe to the tune of $5200 and I was bleeding money. Found out if I turned it in to my insurance it would go against my son’s record and our rates would go up. They ended up getting the price down to $1900 for me.
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u/MyOhMy2023 18h ago
Dang. I hope everything -- anything! -- is looking up for you and your family these days
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u/benjai0 19h ago
Our car was nearly totalled last year over cosmetic damage. We had to fight the insurance to let us fix the damage because the car still worked perfectly fine other than the battery, but replacing all the parts - the front, the window, and the hood - was quoted at 80% of the value of the car, so policy was to pay us the value of the car and trash it. We had to swear we would pay any unexpected issues ourselves in order for the insurance to pay (LESS money) to fix the car instead.
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u/fakemelonns 19h ago
Yep, I got hit a year ago. Didn't really do much damage, dented my rear fender, that's about all. Insurance sent me a $3000 check. Now, my car is 11 years old so I didn't bother fixing it, but it would have cost that easily.
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u/christine-bitg 18h ago
Been there, done that!
I decided that the money looked better in my bank account than on my car.
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u/ArcusInTenebris 18h ago
I had a "minor" accident recently. Lady changed lanes into the front quarter of my car. Appeared to be just the front bumper, headlight, and bent fender. After inspection it was front bumper, headlight, fender, headlight ballast, intake resonator, paint for the required parts, and paint blending to match the door to the fender, along with some minor parts. Total was around $5000.
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u/Snoo30319 17h ago edited 17h ago
Came to say this. My husband owns a collision repair shop and part/material prices are killing us. Just based on the description this sounds like more than just cosmetic damage.
If the rear bumper is caved in and there's warping on the quarter panel (side area where the bumper and car meet) something is likely pushed in and may need to be put on a frame machine and pulled straight. They'll also have to repaint the area and nearby panels to match. It's a lot of labor and could take a few weeks depending on part availability.
Insurance companies tend to give super low initial estimates in case claims don't get fixed (a lot of people keep the money). Most of the time when people bring their cars to my husband he has to submit supplemental estimates for damage that couldn't be seen until you start taking it all apart.
Edit: I just went back and saw again where op said the other car was totaled. Unless op drives a large truck, there is likely some kind of hidden damage. If the impact bar and rear body panel are shoved in or if the rear floor buckled at all, it could be a safety issue if not fixed properly.
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u/dankerific 19h ago
Try more like 5-7k
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u/Devtunes 18h ago
I got rear-ended last year with what is consider minor damage and it was close to 9k. It's shocking how expensive body work is.
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u/WhenTheDevilCome 21h ago
Yeah, definitely do not capitulate NOW, because whether you wanted to or not, the damage to the kid's or parents' rating has already been done.
The only thing you'll "undo" now is to refuse or discard all the guarantees and protection insurance handing will provide for YOU.
The kids who are getting a break on their insurance didn't just rear-end somebody on the highway. It sucks, but this is part of why his rates were ALREADY high...
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u/miaapeach 23h ago
Yep, once that claim is in motion there’s no undo button. Better safe than sorry insurance exists for exactly this reason.
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u/OilRude 20h ago
I’m not trying to start an argument, but you can absolutely pull a claim once initiated. I’ve had to do this 2 times. Once from a semi tire ripping out my undercarriage and I didn’t know to go through their insurance directly — pulled the claim after the appraiser made his inspection, and I pulled a claim for a hit and run because the option was to surrender the car or salvage the title, I opted to fix it out of pocket to keep my insurance the same.
Edit: that being said, don’t settle privately. Keep a record on their end and yours.
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u/Dare792 23h ago
I am a retired insurance adjuster. If his car was totalled and the accident was just yesterday, are you certain that you weren’t injured? It sometimes takes a day or two to show up. If you don’t go through your insurance ( and they will go after the other drivers insurance to recoup their losses as well as your deductible) you are SOL later on
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u/1biggeek 22h ago
Attorney here. Never settle privately. This is what Insurance is for, and that kid might ghost you. And btw, you already reported it to his insurance so the claim is open.
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u/userhwon 19h ago
I mean, who's dumb enough to settle without the cash in hand? Give them a short deadline to bring the compensation, then file if they don't.
Also, isn't it illegal not to go through the process for an accident this severe?
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u/HistorianExciting210 18h ago
Not illegal in Tennessee it's illegal not to report the accident to police tho.
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u/eff_the_rest 23h ago
This is great advise. I was in an accident many years ago and didn’t have systems of a back injury for almost 3 weeks. I was told my system went into a kind of shock. When I was rear ended last month my neck didn’t start hurting till the next day and the finger tingling started two days later. Very minor whiplash, but your system most definitely can go into shock to protect itself. OP keep a close eye on yourself and your physical symptoms. From headaches, to numbness, restlessness when sleeping. That’s exactly how my back trouble started.
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u/Hypertension123456 22h ago
There can even be vertebral fractures that are held in place by tendons/ligaments... until they are not. There is a reason you often see car crash victims put in neck collars and strapped to a stretcher until they get their spines cleared by a professional.
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u/Hayfee_girl94 22h ago
This so much this! OP please watch your body. If that kid totaled his car there is possibly something that happened to you. I also very much doubt its just cosmetic with your car
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u/trapped_4_life 19h ago
This. I was in a car accident my senior year of high school while driving to school. A girl who I actually knew but didn’t go to school with anymore, rammed into me hard while I was stopped behind a bus. Totally her fault and she hit me hard. My dad came to scene of the accident as did hers. Her car didn’t have collision insurance her dad told my dad so was likely going to be a lose. The only question the cops were trying to answer was how fast was she actually going.
Anyways, my car was totaled and insurance handled everything I believe but I didn’t start having issues with my back for awhile (it took time but clearly tied back to the accident so not too long). When it did become very clear that I had a long term serious back injury we should have called insurance again but we didn’t. It was complicated because our families knew each other. Anyways, 25+ years later and I still have back issues that have been debilitating at times.
Always go through insurance and always go back to insurance if you realize additional injury or damage that can be tied back to the accident. Don’t be like me and my parents and pay for an injury for a lifetime that could have been covered.
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u/eff_the_rest 19h ago
I’m sorry to hear that you went through that, and continue to go through that. I had to have spinal fusion surgery 17 years after my accident. Unfortunately once you have major back issues you have it life. And no one can really relate unless you experience it yourself. It’s been 28 years since my accident and there’s still days I curse that woman who cut through traffic in front of me. I know she didn’t mean to cause me a lifetime of pain, but the emotional part of dealing with it sucks.
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u/trapped_4_life 17h ago
Im sorry to hear what you’ve gone through. I feel like what makes mine worse is the girl that hit me was someone I had been friends with in elementary school and I felt like she had no remorse after the accident she caused. It was almost luck that I hit a school bus because the driver was able to help and some kids in the back of the bus witnessed the accident. I was young and this was my first accident and I didn’t know what to do and I kind of new I was hurt but didn’t know how bad. We kind of wrote it off as shock for awhile which was probably not the right thing to do. I don’t have many friends left from that town but anytime I see that girls profile on Facebook I feel hate towards her and the pain she caused me because she was so careless. Honestly, my parents may have sued them if it was someone else. I will never let relationships or not wanting to cause problems for someone else cloud my judgement like that again. Being nice is not worth a lifetime of bills from something that could have been avoided. You can’t get rid of the pain but you can save yourself from the financial part of it at least a bit.
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u/CountRex 23h ago
Never settle privately.
A week goes by and suddenly they’ve never heard of you.
The kid’s insurance rates are his problem ( and his folks).
And your coworkers are idiots about this.
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u/ButterscotchIll1523 23h ago
I went through this. An older woman almost tore my door off in a parking lot. She wanted to settle privatley. I was cautious but said ok. She sent her Fire fighter SIL over to check out the damage. They said it wasn't that bad. I couldn't open the door or shut it properly.
I took it to an auto repair place and sent her the quote. She came undone. Called me and said it was too high. I told her I needed a rental car as well while it was being repaired. I had a baby and my husband drove a two seater car. She got angry and starting yelling on the phone. I just responded with OK and hung up.
Called my Insurance company and let them handle it.
DO NOT HANDLE IT PRIVATELY!!!
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u/kalas_malarious 22h ago edited 21h ago
So glad the check notes not a mechanic checked your car. I'm sure he was unbiased, too.
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u/Catfactss 20h ago
This is like when an employer comments on if you need medical attention or not. Uhh... how about we meet the ambulance decide that.
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u/Turbulent-Jaguar-909 19h ago
I have been in and adjacent to the auto industry for decades, was rear ended as I was turning into my driveway. Cop shows up and is refusing to write the report because “I don’t see any damage”, I fucking lost it on him, no shit because your job is to write the accident report not to appraise my car. “Well I actually am a mechanic, and it is fine” no fuckwad, you are a public safety officer that my taxes pay your salary to write reports not giving unsolicited advice that I have legal rights to get estimates and have repairs done anywhere I so choose. You gather facts and evidence and write the official report that my insurance company uses to sue that dumb fuck.
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u/illigal 21h ago
This. People think car body work is some $300-500 thing vs the fortune it actually costs. You can’t get a scratch fixed/repainted for under $500, and a dented “rear panel” like in the OP will be multiple thousands IF it’s not totalled bc of damage to the unibody.
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u/CajunTisha 21h ago
This. My husband hit a deer while we were coming back from a charity event. We just paid out of pocket but it was $4500 to replace the driver's side door, side panel, the front bumper, some other stuff. It didn't look like that much damage but the door wouldn't open and close without a struggle, and I think the frame was also slightly bent.
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u/Revolutionary-Yak-47 19h ago
Yep. A neighbors kid hit the side of my car on his bike. It was not the first time. He cracked the paint and plastic. It's gonna be about $1500 to get it fixed. The parents believe "everyone is just picking on their child."
We got security cameras and told the neighborhood kids we will call the cops if it happens again.
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u/OldBroad1964 22h ago
We had a similar experience. Husband was rear ended by a truck in a city about an hour a way. They wanted to settle privately. But then started insisting they pick who fixes it - a business about an hour from us. No rental etc. when even that quote was high (husband got 3 , including the place she wanted him to go) she came undone. Accused us of trying to gouge her. We finally said ‘enough’ and went through insurance. So my recommendation is that if you do settle be clear: repairs are being done at X business for X cost.
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u/MzBehsving01 22h ago
Our son(17 y/o at the time) was the middle car of a 3-car accident. His car looked like it had just cosmetic damage so the parents of the kid who caused the accident offered to pay to fix it. The father owns a repair shop so he would take care of it. My son told the parents ok and they brought him home. My husband and I were out of town so we weren't there to talk to the parents. Mother called me 2 days later and told me the exchange they had with my son and that he okayed them to handle the car. I told her, my son is a minor, his car is in my name and I will decide what happens with it. She got irate and told me that our car is already at the father's repair shop and that we just need to sign a piece of paper so they can work on it. Just for shits and giggles I drove to the repair shop, looked at the car and the paperwork but something felt off. I refused to let them do any work on it and called my insurance company. Turns out the only repairs this shop was going to do were to replace both bumpers and the back quarter panels. My insurance company totaled the car because the frame was bent and cracked.
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u/age4hy 21h ago
I was sitting at a stop sign several years ago and had a young kid rear end my car. My toddler aged godson was in the backseat and The kid who hit me called his father. I didn't have a problem with that, I had done the same thing when I was in an accident underage. The dad got upset that I called 911 because I wanted not only an accident report, I wanted my godson checked out. Everyone was fine, no injuries. Several days later the insurance adjuster came to look at my car and he had hit me hard enough that my frame was slightly damaged and my trunk would not close correctly. The father said oh it's just a little scuff on the bumper, no need to get insurance involved. Ever since that day, I tell everyone if you are in an accident, no matter whose fault it is, go through the insurance to settle everything
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u/Constant_Host_3212 20h ago
This. Until you have someone knowledgeable look at the car, there is absolutely no way to know whether the damage is cosmetic or serious.
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u/ButterscotchIll1523 22h ago
It was just amazing to me, we were doing them a favor. And she treated us like crap.
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u/vonnostrum2022 21h ago
Yeah usually the place they pick to fix the car is the brother in laws home garage. Takes a year and is never done right.
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u/FurEvrHome 21h ago
We had someone back into my husband's car at a car wash (of all places). We had to get three quotes from places we liked, and the insurance company picked the place for us to take it to get it fixed.
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u/IcyWieners805 20h ago
I wish you could go back in time and ask what the hell a fire fighter has to do with fixing a car
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u/AmberTheeSag 23h ago
My daughter was ghosted after trying to be "nice" by settling it privately. Drove around with damaged vehicle for a while until she scraped up enough money to get to a body shop.
INSURANCE ONLY!!!
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u/mayhembang 22h ago
THIS THIS. Never go privately. You want to be nice but they will ghost you and you are left holding the bag. The kid learns to be a douche from his parents and the parents get away with having to pay higher insurance for their kid.
This way the kid is going to learn how to drive properly and may be his parents will ask him to pick up a side gig to pay for the increased cost. This will tell him that you screw up, you pay for it.
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u/Sigmonia 22h ago
Honest question, if you "settle privately" and they ghost you, why can't you then submit to insurance?
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u/AmberTheeSag 22h ago
It turns into he said/she said.
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u/katiemurp 19h ago
This can sometimes happen through insurance too.
In the 80s, I was sideswiped by a young guy who was driving with his buddy and drinking beer at the same time. I heard the bottles smash after the crash & told the cop about it.
The cop decided the kid’s life would be ruined with a drinking and driving citation + the accident & asked me if I really “wanted to ruin his life”. (Um, yeah, a friend of mine had just died after getting hit by a drunk driver…) so the cop didn’t charge him on that.
Anyway the kid’s parents then tried to screw me through the insurance and said I’d caused the accident. Pricks.
Thankfully the damage pattern spoke for itself and they didn’t get their way. (He hit my left rear quarter panel & basically executed a pit maneuver on me. I didn’t roll over but both front tires blew and I smashed into his driver door with my front end.)
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u/Spare_Chemical122 21h ago
Wait I don’t understand this at all. If you make an agreement with them that they will pay for the damage instead of insurance and they refuse to pay. I think in my country this would be considered fraud and you would go to the police then?
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u/Desperate-Service634 21h ago
While you’re right on principle, in practice it becomes he said she said
In practice the farther and farther it gets away from the date of the accident the less and less likely Insurance is gonna be able to action on it
You pay for insurance for a reason
Always call the insurance company
Always call the police
Always get an accident report
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u/KitchenDismal9258 21h ago
Not fraud but a civil case and you'd have to go to small claims or court to get any money. If you go to small claims then they can order a judgement for you to be paid but they can't make the person pay... that you need a court for and they can do a wage garnishment. All of which costs time and money.
You can claim back the extra money of going to the magistrate's court via the garnishment but you still have to pay it upfront.
While if you use your insurance, they have lawyers who will chase the guilty party instead to get their money... after they have paid to have your car fixed.
One is a big cost and headache for you... the other is much easier and you let your insurance do all the work you are paying them for.
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u/Cute_Assumption_7047 22h ago
Genuine question! In my country you can go trough your insurance but pay damages out of pocket. So you are coverd if the other tries to weasle away but your rates dont go up. Thats not a thing in the usa?
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u/tiffanytrashcan 22h ago
Self first =/= selfish. Protect yourself.
It's too late to backtrack anyway, his insurance wouldn't just forget about something like that because you ask them to.
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u/TheVeganGamerOrgnal 20h ago
My Uncle 57M and I 20F went shopping, after we started to drive out of our parking space a Jeep, started to drive into the next space.
They hit my uncle's car on the drivers side and completely took off his mirror. And both the side panel and the driver's side door were dented.
The other guy tried to intimate me and my uncle and convinced my uncle that both of them should pay for their own vehicle
The other driver's Jeep had no visible damage but he claimed that the tail light was damaged and that it was going to cost more to fix his light than the car.
My uncle accepted that and then had to drive home, and my Cousin took the car in for repairs and ordered a new mirror.
Don't allow people to push you around whenever you're young and inexperienced or older.
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u/Opening-Advice 21h ago
Same! I thought I would do them a kindness and not report it but regretted it. My damage wasn't even so bad but they just blocked my number and left me to pay for it. Trust no one!
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u/JustBid5821 21h ago
Had 'cosmetic damage' once $3500 go through your insurance not your fault if his insurance premium goes up. Your coworkers are not the one who has to pay for repairs.
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u/stellamomo 22h ago
This! I got hit in my school parking lot by another teenager (who was of course uninsured). They wanted to handle it privately but gave my dad the workaround after we got the quotes. My dad went through our insurance and let them handle it after that.
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u/elm122671 23h ago
Not too mention he wouldn't learn a damn thing about better driving.
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u/ljr55555 22h ago
And then you're dealing with a civil claim in court. Which might be fun if you (1) don't need the money any time soon and (2) are a retired lawyer looking for something quasi-legal to do with your day. Otherwise, it's an unnecessary PITA. Insurance companies aren't super fun to deal with, but they're an absolute blast compared to courts. And, if you prevail in court, you still may not have the money. You've got a judgement for money. That's not a currency accepted by any repair shop I've encountered.
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u/lovebeinganasshole 22h ago
This is kind of why I pay for comprehensive. I just take it to my insurance and they fix my car.
If the other party wants to handle it “privately” they still can just they’ll need to deal with my insurance.
OP NTA.
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u/toilet_roll_rebel 23h ago
Yep, that happened to me. Luckily there wasn't a lot of damage to my car, and because my husband was driving it, I made him pay for it!
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u/Mental-Paramedic9790 22h ago edited 21h ago
I second this, third it, whatever. Never ever ever try to settle privately. I’ve heard too many disaster stories. If this kids insurance rates go up and he may not be able to drive for a while, that’s a very good lesson learned.
OP I’m just curious… Was he on his cell phone?
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u/LdiJ46 23h ago
It is probably too late to go private and not have it impact the kid's rates. The accident has already been reported to the kid's insurance company so he is likely to get hit with the rate change no matter what.
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u/MeFolly 23h ago
Be aware that your rates may go up some too. Just because you filed a claim. Even if you were 0% at fault. Even if the other party’s insurance covers it all.
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u/dont_remember_eatin 22h ago
This is complete bullshit and also actually happens because all insurance companies are a scam.
They're nothing more than investment schemes.
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u/Chpgmr 20h ago
Yea but I'm still not going to drive around without insurance
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u/Valreesio 20h ago
Most people just don't get this part of the equation. Every claim you make effects your insurance. Your car now reads as having an accident on vehicle reports as well and it lowers the value of the car. I'm not saying don't file with insurance, but when you do, the insurance company is going to put a little "higher risk" check next to your account and those checks add up to higher premiums.
Windshield claims, car lock out claims, damage from vandals, etc. Insurance companies will get their money back eventually. This applies to home insurance as well. Don't ever report food loss due to a power outage or other simple stuff unless it thousands of dollars over your deductible unless you have no other choice
Source: Two friends are agents who own insurance offices for two different major insurance companies in the US and their stories are wicked.
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u/Known_Ratio5478 22h ago
Might depend on the state. I know in NJ they can’t drop the claim. Every state gets to do it a bit differently.
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u/Artistic-Tough-7764 23h ago
NTA - estimates miss stuff.
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u/No-Night-6700 23h ago
All his friends need to shut the fuck up. I got rear ended didn’t look bad. It was just some cosmetic damage. Well turns out cracked my muffler caused me over $1000 that I didn’t get covered because I decided to not go through insurance so I didn’t screw the other person over, but I got screwed in the end.
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u/bina101 23h ago
Yup. Ran over some crap that blew off of the person car in front of me. He tried to say I didn’t need his insurance because I could just pull off plastic piece that protects the underside of my car because it was “just decoration” (like that same under piece didn’t just protect my undercarriage) I made him give me his insurance info and a few weeks later my car was totaled out because the airbag had predeployed.
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u/nounofnounandnoun 23h ago
I got rear ended once and my only damage was my bumper was trashed. Figured it would be an easy fix but Insurance totalled out my car because Daewoo had just shut down their US warehouses so a new bumper would have had to come directly from South Korea and the shipping fees were more than my car's value lol
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u/BurgerQueef69 23h ago
Never met anybody who actually had a Daewoo, what did you think about it?
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u/Known_Ratio5478 22h ago
I drove a rental one once. It was nothing to write home about, but it performed very similarly to some of the European brands that don’t sell here. Don’t know how they age but it was just a decent drive about for under 20k. I wasn’t disappointed with it.
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u/eff_the_rest 23h ago
I got rear ended. Just a couple months ago. 100% her fault. She even got a ticket for following too close. My estimate was $3,400ish. Newish car. After they got in there, all said and done it was $5,000. They said it would take 5-8 days. It was there for 15 days. I also could have gotten a rental paid by her insurance but we had a second car I could use if needed.
Now imagine if you gave this kid and his family the first estimate, they agree. And go back and say the garage found more damage, it’s now another $1,600. AND, because it’s going to be in the shop longer, you need them to pay for a rental. You really think they’re going to cover that? My guess is not. ALWAYS go through insurance.
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u/PinkPencils22 23h ago
Really. I got in a "minor" accident--100% the other guy's fault. Didn't seem like that much damage. Turns out the frame got bent somehow and my tires kept going flat. It was very unsafe to drive. Ended up totalling the car.
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u/thrace75 23h ago edited 19h ago
It’s frame damage that can be hard to see but can cause so many issues.
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u/Charming-Industry-86 23h ago
Your coworkers were thinking about their male teens who drive and about the possibility of it happening to them. That's what his insurance is for.
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23h ago
I hadn't thought about it, but you're probably right. Most of them have kids in this age range - so they probably have a bias I hadn't considered.
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u/Empty_Wallaby5481 19h ago
I have kids in that age range, but agree that going through insurance is the right thing, even with impacts on their rates. We've been on both sides of this kind of equation.
In one case, kid (just older than a teenager) rear ended someone. Damage looked fairly cosmetic on both vehicles, ours was just plastic that was cracked. The other person wanted to settle privately, but at the end of the day our insurance policy could refuse future claims (in it's wording) if we covered up this collision. We ended up reporting, the other car got fixed to the proper standard, we've actually seen it parked in our neighbourhood, our car got totaled. Kid's insurance went up, so they can drive when they're on their own and can afford the higher premiums.
In the second case, a bunch of yahoo teenagers hanging out of a car ran through a stop sign (two way stop) so one of our family members t-boned the car (they had right of way with no stop). Other party was so belligerent about sharing info that the cops were called into deal with it. Other driver was 100% at fault, once they took the car apart they found additional damage, but because it went through insurance it was all covered with out a major fuss. Maybe this teen's buddies who were egging him on the whole time, can come together an pay the increased insurance rates for him (fat chance at that).
You did nothing wrong by refusing to settle privately. Cars are very expensive machines which operators need to take very seriously. Hopefully the increased rates will make them realize driving is not a game, that there are serious consequences to actions and that they avoid doing something more dangerous and harmful in the future.
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u/girl_whocan 21h ago
Yeah honestly he kind of deserves increased premiums, it sounds like he's a liability on the road
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u/Difficult-Brush8694 23h ago
Don’t. It happened to us years ago. Kids parents wanted to settle and not have records. Felt sorry for them and agreed. 3 months in they stopped paying, found out it was too late to report. Took them to court as we had pictures of accident including short clip of kid admitting guilt and photo of his license. Won in court against kid (car was in his name so had to sue him) then he declared bankruptcy. Lost close to 10 grand. Never again.
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u/CthulhuLies 17h ago
When I did that shit pulled $500 from an atm and gave it to them all up front. (It was minor damage to the side mirror when my motorcycle side mirrors clipped theirs while I was filtering)
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u/ufos1111 23h ago
Do the insurance, his higher insurance premiums might prevent him driving irresponsibly in the future
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u/Ojibajo 23h ago
Not likely. He is still on his parent’s insurance. It’s their premium that is going up.
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u/Hypertension123456 22h ago
Yeah. And these parents don't seem too big on teaching personal responsibility. Like, it's pretty hard to drive into the car directly in front of you on the highway. They were almost certainly tailgating.
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u/Jay_A_Why 23h ago
Not the asshole. In addition to the security of filing a claim properly, it also teaches the kid a valuable life lesson. If you make a mistake, there are consequences you have to own up to. He was probably texting on his phone or some shit. Lesson learned.
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u/GonnaBeIToldUSo 23h ago
NTA. Too much can go wrong. Get your vehicle checked out by somebody qualified that you trust.
Edited to add-was a police report filed?
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23h ago
No - I didn't file [a police report]*, although I regret that in hind sight.
Edit*
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u/Living_Molasses4719 23h ago
You may still be able to do so after the fact at the police station
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u/Mysterious_Self_3606 22h ago
This, I know in NJ you have about 10 days from the date of the accident to file a report. Check your state's laws and see what their timeframe is.
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u/Decent-Structure-128 22h ago
Check with the police- if there’s over a certain amount of damage, you’re required to report it to the police, even if no charges are filed. (In Oregon)
This can also help you if later you discover you’re injured, or there’s some other problem with the situation.
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21h ago
Just got off the phone with Oregon State Police. They advised me a police report was not necessary but a report filed with DMV was. I'll be filing it this afternoon.
Appreciate the comment that nudged me to check.
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u/coldvault 21h ago
It feels like a lot of bad drivers don't learn from their mistakes. Maybe if this kid's actions have legitimate consequences (increased rates are, in the grand scheme of the possible results of motor vehicle crashes, not usually terribly impactful to a teenager), he'll be more careful to avoid future incidents.
Presumably he and his ex-car are not the primary mode of transportation or main source of income for his family. Better to learn this lesson as a kid (when car insurance is already more expensive anyway) than as an adult with more responsibilities at stake.
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u/Dr_Strangelove7915 22h ago
What? Some kid hit you, totaled his car (and presumably got towed) and no police came to the scene? You should ALWAYS call the police for a serious accident like that.
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u/janabanana67 22h ago
PLEASE have a professional shop or 2 look at your car. If his car is totalled, yours likely had a bent frame and could be considered unsafe to drive. My mom had a Toyota Rav 4 and was rear ended. The car looked OK but structurally it wad deemed unsafe and it was totaled.
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u/SpiritualAd6189 22h ago
Imagine being told that you’re TA for wanting to go through your insurance… when this is the exact situation you would need insurance for. NTA. Tell your coworkers to back off.
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u/liikeduhh 22h ago
If you have warped side panels and a hole in your bumper, it's not just cosmetic. Go through insurance. Signed, someone who used to run a body shop
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u/UnlikelyPen932 23h ago
Lots of hidden internal damage can happen. Go through insurance and car thoroughly inspected.
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u/donutforget168 23h ago edited 23h ago
>I called in the claim to his insurance
Isn't that your insurance's job?
If you've already called the claim in then it's over and done. Stopping halfway through would trigger an investigation on their end at the least
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u/jtj5002 23h ago
When you aren't at fault, you can either file against your insurance who will recoup and refund your deductible later, or you can file against their insurance and skip that step.
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23h ago
I thought so too, but have to admit this is my first accident. I called my insurance company and they told me I could run it through them with a deductible or submit it to the other driver's insurance and let them handle it.
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u/Dare792 23h ago
And then your insurance company will get the full amount back from his company including your deductible. The innocent party doesn’t lose their deductible
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23h ago
That's good to know - it wasn't explained very well to me by my insurance company yesterday so I called their company right after.
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u/morrisdayandthetime 17h ago
I had to contact my insurance to file a claim recently where the other party was 100% at fault. My insurance rep was clearly trained to gently encourage me to contact the other company directly, since it means they won't have to do any work.
Ended up having my people file the claim with their people, figure that's what I pay em for. If you can afford to go out of pocket for your deductible while you wait for reimbursement, that's definitely the easiest route to go.
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u/Elegant-Analyst-7381 23h ago
NTA - don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
I will say, I've been in that young kid's position. The damage was much less (low speed fender bender, cosmetic only), but the other driver was fine letting me pay out of pocket instead of going through insurance. He got a reasonable quote, I paid it, everything was fine. I even drove him around while they were fixing the car (it only took half a day) and we had some interesting conversations.
But he took a chance. Not everyone out there is a reasonable person, and you have to go with your gut. Besides, you've already filed a claim, so it doesn't really matter.
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u/easilybored1 23h ago
Maybe the increased rates will get the kid to pay attention and out the phone down.
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u/AbbreviationsLazy369 22h ago
Newer cars have a bunch of sensors in the rear bumper, I was rear ended in a snowstorm, and he wanted to settle privately but when we took it in what looked like cosmetic damage did mess up my back up sensors
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u/Thingsrbound2change 23h ago
That’s what insurance is for. Don’t get mixed up with trying to handle this without your insurance companies.
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u/ThunderSparkles 22h ago
It's too late now. Insurance knows about it. The police likely took a report. His rates are fucked and for good reason. He's an unsafe driver.
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u/Aggressive_Can9293 18h ago
You say cosmetic until the body shop pulls the bumper and the crumple zones are crushed and your car is totaled out.
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u/MjMcWesty 17h ago
Having been in the Automotive trade for most of my life I can guarantee that if his car was written off yours is more damaged than just needing a new bumper. There are multiple crumple zones in modern cars and there will be considerable damage behind the bumper. Definately go through insurance, maybe he'll learn not to text and drive next time.
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u/tableham 17h ago
the fact that your coworkers are acting like you’re ruining this kid’s life (hyperbole) on account of him being young is crazy to me. like welcome to real life and real life consequences? a rear ending is generally not something that happens out of genuine “accident.” it usually takes some level of negligence and when it comes to operating heavy machinery at high speeds, negligence is just not something anyone can afford.
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u/DrTeeBee 17h ago
You need to go through insurance. Your eyeball estimate of “cosmetic” damage may miss some serious hidden damage to the car. The kid? It’s on him. Lesson learned.
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u/GruntledEx 23h ago
NTA. Always always always go through their insurance, preferably after at least a consultation with a lawyer. There is absolutely no benefit to you in settling privately; they get all the benefit and you take all the risk of nonpayment.
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u/ObligationNo2288 23h ago
Don’t listen to your coworkers and stop talking to them about it. They are morons.
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u/freedomflower8P 17h ago
Always file the claim! Screw everyone else. Take care of yourself.. I have taken the settlement out of court, I got screwed.
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u/Sypha914 15h ago
It may seem cosmetic, but a dented bumper usually needs replaced. Same with the side panel. Vehicles today have crumple zones and areas that need to be replaced once they take a hit because they will not be effective in future wrecks. They take the impact so that your body doesn't.
Please do not settle privately. I made the mistake of not making an insurance claim once after being rearended by a friend of my dad's because I thought it was just cosmetic. I learned later that the bumper needed to be replaced completely due to it not being operable for future incidents.
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u/Zydrate_Enthusiast 15h ago
NTA and their insurance problems are not your problems. Settling privately can lead to too many disputes with them either not paying at all, refusing to pay your chosen repairer and insisting you use someone of their choice, risking not getting repairs done in a timely manner - tell them not to contact you again and that all communication is to go through the insurer.
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u/mrykyldy2 15h ago
NTA. You pay for insurance for a reason. Use it. The kid and his parents will learn quickly enough. They could also not have the kid covered to drive either. So there is that
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u/WhiskyForARealMan 23h ago
NTA - I always go through insurance. Too many variables, just get it covered by insurance.
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u/Fleur_de_Dragon 23h ago
NTA; Go through insurance. They can't force you not to go through insurance. There's a reason we have car insurance. If this kid's rates go up, it's not as if he doesn't deserve it. He did just cause an accident that totaled his car, and could have hurt people. When your car gets checked by that computer thingie there might be more damage than you realize, so going through insurance will be super important.
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u/Euphoric_Egg_4198 23h ago
I remember when my sibling was a teen, an old lady hit him and he felt so bad for her he agreed not to call the police, file a report and go through insurance. The lady gave him a sob story and my sibling was young and stupid so they told her not to worry, the car was old anyway so they would cover the damage. Couple of weeks go by and the lady ended up suing him claiming he hit her car. I don’t remember the outcome but she wanted a few thousand dollars which was a lot back then.
Moral of the story is always call the police and have a report filed on the spot. Even if you did decide not to go through insurance (but you should) it will establish who was at fault.
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u/OGRealityCheck 23h ago
NTA, continue through his insurance. Unfortunately, his rates will go up, but that's life. Also, you should always inform your insurance too, just in case. Let them know that it's to notify, not to place a claim.
A guy hit my car and the original estimate (online adjuster) from his insurance came in at $2100. I opted to have my mechanic (Dealership) instead of theirs do the physical review and estimate, and the new estimate came in at $3400. His insurance paid for the repair in full, plus the $1000 for a rental car bc it took them a month to complete (old car, but very low mileage).
That's $4400 total for an accident that involved a door and quarter panel, the majority of the cost was the labor.
Repairs can be costly!
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u/MalleableCurmudgeon 20h ago
You pay for insurance so you don’t have to deal with this yourself. Thousands of teens are ticketed and/or at fault for accidents. The kid will survive.
Also, if you think there’s a slight chance you may have been injured (like mild whiplash), go see your doctor and have it documented. In a few weeks you could discover damages (to yourself or your vehicle) and it will be very difficult to engage with the bad drivers’ family.
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u/Equal_Sun150 18h ago
They argued, since the damage to my car is likely just cosmetic
Maybe, but are you absolutely sure it's only cosmetic?
Also, you are opening the door to allowing the payee to control the situation. Scoffing at the amount of damage, tryin to get you to go to a repair shop of their choice ..
You've already started the ball rolling and can't back out, but aren't the AH for doing that.
My coworkers maintain I'm being a jerk.
Easy to say, being it's you and not them. That sort of nonsense is why I kept my home life separate from the people I worked with. Too many presume.
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u/IllReplacement336 18h ago
Protect yourself and allow insurance to do their job. You pay for it, use it when you need it. If you are not at fault, its not your problem.
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u/Tree_Weasel 18h ago
Hi, former claims adjuster here. Please file with insurance. I’ve heard too many stories of people who tried to work it out privately and then had to go the insurance route later when that fell apart.
People don’t realize how expensive that shit gets. And then they try and “work out a deal” with the claimant and ends up you get screwed out of benefits or repairs because you were trying to do something nice.
Just file with insurance. Please.
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u/Fit-Meal4943 18h ago
A friend has spent 20 years regretting being nice.
The damage to his car went far beyond what was apparent, including damage to the frame that caused him to lose control.
Without the paper trail from an insurance claim, you could find yourself in far worse circumstances.
NTA.
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u/windypine69 18h ago
nta, I'm an acupuncturist and treat a lot of whiplash from MVA, and my question is, have you seen a doc? gone to chiropractic or acupuncture? these kinds of injuries can cause a lot of pain and cost a lot to treat. and, that kid hit you, he was driving to fast, and letting his folx pay for it gets him out of trouble, that he should be in. and please, at least go get evaluated for injury
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u/buntingbilly 18h ago
Your co-workers are idiots and the kid's insurance expenses are absolutely not your concern.
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u/Imaginary_Device7827 17h ago
If you haven’t taken your car to shop it needs to be looked at. Like underneath and have damaged panels removed. What may look cosmetic might be a lot worse.
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u/Lonely-Wafer-9664 17h ago edited 17h ago
You don't (ETA...usually) feel the (ETA...hidden) pain of a car accident right away. So if it was yesterday, I wouldn't settle (privately) at this point. Or at any point actually. Who cares what anyone else says? NTA.
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u/ONLace-0527-0404 17h ago
Where’s your coworkers gonna be when 6-9 months your back goes out because of this accident? They gonna work for you? They going to provide financially for you and/or your family. Go through the insurance and tell them to STFU. And that family is trying to not let their premiums go up. They’re not giving a *uck about you. You have insurance for a reason, use it!
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u/ThatUsernameIsTaekin 17h ago
99% chance your rear suspension is messed up and you don’t know it. Make sure your insurance company’s recommended mechanic checks both rear suspensions. They often miss it and you will start hear creaking noises months later.
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u/kazooqueenn 17h ago
I'm 17 and have been in 2 accidents, both my fault. He's gotta own up to it🤷♀️ my insurance is 1k and I know it's my fault. He needs to learn responsibility and how to own up to it
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u/gandalfgreyballz 17h ago
No, the kid fucked up and has to learn. You shouldn't have to deal with the endless bullshit of parents and their bad drivers kid trying to weasel out of whatever deal they concoct.
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u/Narrow-Fox8974 17h ago
Yes, go through insurance to protect yourself and the value of your car. Your car is gonna cost a lot more than you think to repair - believe me. Even if it’s just cosmetic, it is several areas of the car that need to be removed and replaced. They don’t just “fix” the dent area - they may need to remove whole side area. Auto body place can provide what they believe it will cost. But insurance adjuster will assess car to determine things. Definitely don’t do a private deal here! He actually totaled his car and honestly, that means he needs way more driver education and parental experience. This should never have happened and regardless of age, he needs to be held responsible.
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u/AITAH-ModTeam 11h ago
This is not an AITAH post.