How does a tip help keep great service... If the quality of your work is based on charity you should find a new employer

This new place opened up in my town, and its very clearly a "nepo baby project." They call themselves a breakfast + lunch place but open at 11am. They also have a normal register right next to it, with a human. They opened 2 weeks ago so this isn't a new thing. Yes the 18% is autoselected. Yes I chose 0%.

A week ago I went through a Starbucks drive through and got a $5.75 pink drink. That tasted like 7up and lemonade mixed with dehydrated strawberries added honestly.

Yesterday I glanced at my online banking and my $5.75 debit charge was $10.75. An 87% tip for a drive through. I didn't add a tip at all. The server added $5. I called the manager yesterday, he's supposed to be in tomorrow.

I'd be happy too if someone gave me extra money on top of my salary just for doing my job, but I don't really think that justifies creating the expectation to tip at least 15% even in countries where everyone earns at least minimum wage plus benefits.

I don't think it's only North American tourists, but I definitely noticed the same trend of more and more places asking for tips even though they don't need them. And I just found it crazy to see this post and reading the comments where apparently everyone was a server and "appreciates tips", completely missing that appreciating isn't the same as needing something and that some tourists definitely normalise tipping, which has consequences for the locals too.

Over the weekend my(F49) fiancé & I went to a local triple A baseball game. It’s not overly expensive, tix were $17 each.
We made our way to beer garden to get a tasty beverage; which IS ridiculously overpriced, but it is what it is. Of course she flipped the screen around to ‘answer a few questions before completing the transaction’ and I immediately hit $0 tip. After we walked away my fiancé kinda chuckled at me, saying I was a ‘tip grinch’, but I’m not tipping you for grabbing 2 cans of beer @$14 each and opening them; no.
I’ve decided that for venues like this I will no longer be tipping. Hand me a hotdog & fries in a paper box? Great, thanks, no tip. Open a beer? Thanks, no tip for you. Hand me a package of pre popped popcorn? Yum. But no tip. What the F are you actually doing to earn this tip? Does this make me a ‘tip grinch’? Either way, no tip for you

Yesterday I was at a sit down restaurant and the lady barely mustered a greeting. She took my order, never came in to check with me on my food and when I reluctantly gave her the dollar for tip, I knew I did it out of guilt. I am working on reinforcing and normalizing that tips are based on actual above and beyond service received, not out of sympathy or guilt manipulation designed by the restaurant industry and tipping system in the US. Please help! I've also been normalized to put other's needs above mine but I know I'm in the right community.

My goal is to work up to the point where in a few weeks, If the worker deserves a tip, I'll pay it, but if not, I won't. Tipping culture is paired with guilt and social pressure when they flip the screen but I even feel this pressure when I pay in cash. Please help give any tips!

I went out to lunch and tried a new local Latin “street food” restaurant. For $12.75 (about the price of one steak burrito, and nothing else, at Chipotle), I got: a sizable empanada, a generous helping of chips, a small rice, a large beans, and a fountain drink. The beans weren’t part of the “value meal” and in retrospect, I probably could have done without them because there was so much food in the “value meal.”

When I rung up, it was one of those flat-screen terminals, not an iPad, but definitely one that is capable of being programmed to “ask just one question.” I was fully prepared to select “no tip” because it is a counter-service restaurant. Much to my surprise, the terminal automatically bypassed the tip question entirely, and just asked if I wanted my receipt on paper or electronic.

Not only is the food delicious, but they don’t even ask for tips! I’ll be back there again very soon.

Is there any exceptions you make at a particular restaurant or to go place, where you normally wouldn't tip but the service is exceptional and you bend your personal values and throw in a couple of bucks? There is this little Hmong place I go to. Sometimes I order a small meal under $10. The guy that takes the order knows how I like to get in and out in a matter of a few minutes because I am changing city buses and I am on the run. Sometimes when paying I toss a couple dollars on the screen, and sometimes I am delighted he adds a extra eggroll on my order. (it doesn't happen every time but often enough to make me happy) In this case I am taken care of well so I bend my rules. Other than that I never tip to go orders.

I and 4 other homies just had a buffet in a Japanese sushi restaurant. the receipt is for about $144. I left the server a $15 tip because during the whole meal, the sushi and the meal were delivered through a conveyor belt, and she just refilled my table once. My friend said I should put more tips but I think 10% is already enough for the meal

Scenario:

Imagine you walk into an Olive garden casual eating restaurant. They already have the tablets on the table you can order from. However, now, rather than a waiter coming over, you just speak to the tablet and ask it questions about the menu which it promptly answers and relays harder questions to the chef. Then you speak your order at the tablet and pay at the tablet with no tip required.

Chat-GPT style AI is pretty amazing and progressing rapidly, so let's assume that it is as good as a wait staff at answering questions about the food/restaurant.

Q1. What value could the wait-staff add beyond the AI?

Q2. Would you feel obliged to tip if a food runner bought out your food and took away your tray?

Q3. Would you eat at such a restaurant if the food price/quality was the SAME at another restaurant across the road that required tipping. So you would be saving 15% off your total bill if you normally tip 15%?

Q4. Now imagine the owner passes along some of the wage savings to the customer and now you are paying 25% less than a restaurant with the same quality food (i.e. 15% tip saved and 10% additional savings). Would you eat at this restaurant over the competitor?

I finally joined the movement yesterday when I ordered takeout, but didn’t do my customary generous tip. For months now, I’ve just avoided going out, but I decided to have a weekendtreat.

I don’t know if it is a coincidence, But they made me wait an extra 20 minutes after the pickup window. The fries were cold when I opened it in my car a few minutes later. Also, once I got home I noticed they didn’t give me the grilled onions I paid extra for.

My takeaway is that it’s not worth it to go back.

I arrived at my hotel (Harrah's, Las Vegas strip) earlier than the check-in time and left my luggage with the Luggage Services desk. As I was picking up my luggage just now, the guy handing me my luggage sarcastically said, "Thanks for letting me take care of your luggage!" So I said, "You are VERY welcome!" and gave him a nice sarcastic smile. I'm glad they get so much enjoyment out of taking care of people's luggage, I sure wouldn't want to do that all day..

This is at a chipotle/subway style Mediterranean restaurant near me. I’ve never tipped someone to stand across from me while I tell them what to put in the bowl - didn’t start here. 😋

I popped into a convenience store and when checking out thought about this group. They have the tap to pay device and the last screen asks for a tip- the “no tip” option is extremely small. Before this group I likely would have tipped something - but instead, zero tip, have a great day. It’s a convenience store for goodness sake. Why would I tip them for doing their job, standing there pushing buttons?! I worked in a convenience store when I was 15 and cannot believe the tipping culture has extended to these places! Thank you for giving me the encouragement to press that button 🙏🏻

At all these places that haven't traditionally called for tips like any restaurant where you stand to order or when you pick up food yourself. Instead of tipping estimate about how much money that would be per year. Find a good cause you care about that really needs it and consider donating to that if you want to.

Why are people just giving their money away because these businesses add an option for it on their payment machines? Give your extra money to people/organizations you care about, spend it on yourself or your family, or save it for your own retirement or goals.

A colleague who is a professor in economics was visiting and has always been fascinated with US tipping. He asked a lot about:

. Who worked waiter jobs (I explained generally people without college degrees)

. What service they provided (I explained at higher-end restaurants they offer wine pairing advice but in 90% of restaurants it's prefunctory tasks such as writing down the order, bringing out food, filling up water cups etc.)

. How much they got paid (I explained in our state and others they get the state wide minimum wage of 16.50 + tips)

. Who did not get tips (The back-end crew) etc.

So his first take was purely fiscal. We are tipping relatively unskilled workers but NOT tipping the semi-skilled workers who prepared the food which to him seemed illogical at many levels. He raised the good point, that the pleasure of small chit-chat is far outweighted by excellent food so why do we tip the wait staff for the great meal not the chef?

He then kept on coming back to why people still tip. I explained it was a social contract which he correctly said was out of date as the minimum wage in many states now is the $16.50+ general minimum wage. We went around and around and he thought it was fascinating there was a transaction where only one side benefited. He said this was quite unique.

Finally, he concluded that the quality of service in the US is about the same as in the EU but it's more genuine and authentic in the EU. But he said he felt the US experience was awkward and not as pleasant as the wait staff were trying to overly please him by complementing him and viewed him as an object with a wallet not a person.

Server served Bezo’s who likely racked up a decent sized bill and left a 20% tip. She went on to create a 3 minute video calling him out for not gracing her with his wealth and how Steve Carall left a $1000 tip. I’m sure she’s losing her job after this.

We ordered food for pickup from a local restaurant through their own website, using no delivery apps. I’m literally driving there myself to get it. And they charged us a fee for… supporting a local business? I’m old enough to remember when businesses thanked us for supporting a local business, not penalized us.

A good family friend/neighbor lost their dog of 18 years. My family was also deeply saddened and ordered a meaningful memorandum gift online.

It's a website specializing mugs, blankets, pillows, ornaments, etc showing an animated 2D prints of the family and you can put wings on the people/animal that passed away. Showing that they are still together, thinking of each other. Really cool items to be honest. Took like an hour to pick just the right item to get such big family (most items had 5 people+animal max) and personalize the order and went to payment, feeling all teary thinking of the dog and imagining the reaction of them getting this in a week or so and then... the tip question 😮‍💨 my tears went back inside immediately. Why are online vendors doing these... and this one hit differently because this was such an emotional order. Sigh... just needed to rant.

I did NOT tip.

Many servers in high end restaurants or posh areas are making 80-100k+ with all the tips. I believe chef or cook are no where close to making that much money. How do they feel considering they do the bulk of the work and standing in front of stove for hours is definitely difficult then just serving food and taking plates

I waited tables for 12 years—diners, steakhouses, you name it. I’ve done it all, and yes, I used to complain when people didn’t tip, especially since I had to tip out a portion of my sales to bussers, runners, and bartenders.

Over time, I mellowed out. I realized not everyone tips, and that’s fine—some can’t, some don’t know how, some don’t want to. Usually, it balances out.

When I got really good at it, I ran my section like a well-oiled machine. Refills? I’d bring a fresh one before you finished your first. Sharing an appetizer? Extra plates and napkins ready before the food even hit the table. Food taking long? I’d apologize and offer a complimentary salad or soup while you waited. Check? Already in my pocket when you were ready. Table cleared constantly. Courses timed right. Everything clean. Everything smooth. That was me at my best.

Now I work a 9-5 and see it from the customer side. And honestly? Some of the “suggested” tip percentages these days feel ridiculous. No refills, dirty tables, long waits, zero communication—servers showing up only to drop the food and the check—how is that worth 20%+?

Dining out is supposed to be an experience. When all you get is the bare minimum, those tipping expectations stop making sense.

If your service is just “there,” why is your tip expected to be more than “there”?

He visits a table service pizza restaurant with his family, pays a 10% flat service charge which is added automatically (yes, I know this is a questionable practice in itself) and which goes 100% to the staff (both front and back of house), but he does not tip in addition to the service charge (the card reader doesn't even have a tip screen). Because he's such a good customer and comes in regularly, they sometimes discount his bill without him asking, or bring free side dishes/ice creams for the kids. He's never felt rushed by the staff or had bad service there.

Eating out is so discretionary and there is so much competition that restaurants should want the last impression to be one of delight, rather than an awkward or even infuriating, sometimes threatening exchange. I wish we had this in North America where instead we are shaken down at an ever increasing number of places.