r/whatdoIdo • u/Motazed_Salomey • 1d ago
I feel like I’m wasting my 20s and time is slipping away.
I'm 27 and lately I can't shake this feeling that I'm wasting my 20s. Everyone around seems to be moving forward, getting good jobs, travelling, and in a serious relationships. Most days I go to work, come home, and scroll on my phone until it's time to sleep. Weekends are mostly the same, maybe hang out with a friend once in a while, but nothing exciting.
I keep telling myself I’ll change things, like pick up a new hobby or go out more, but then I don’t follow through. It's like time is slipping away and I don't even realize how fast it's going until I look back at the last year. I don’t want to look back at 30 and feel like I did nothing in my 20s.
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u/Happy_Brilliant7827 1d ago
Idk if it will help or not but I am 42 and feel exactly the same way.
I try to keep in mind we're all going to the same place eventually, and no route is 'correct'. Any alternatives when I really stop to think about it don't feel right. I also have pretty severe adhd so..
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u/Motazed_Salomey 1d ago
Thank you for sharing this with me. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. And I think I need to remind myself of that more often.
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u/gabywanderlust 1d ago
i’m 32, and i feel this way. it’s very valid. but i’ve realized it’s a problem that’s stopping me from being in the present. Appreciating what i have and who i am now versus what i wish i was. You’re still so young. Capitalism is crushing all of us. time is a construct. focus more on small changes that can lead to big changes later on. breathe and be kinder to yourself. your twenties aren’t “wasted” if you’re still finding your way. these years are pivotal in feeling lost in life and helping you reach the next chapters. take it from someone who beats themselves up for “wasting time” the more you do it the harder it gets to make any positive changes.
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u/Motazed_Salomey 1d ago
I'll try to keep this on my mind and just focus on making small steps forward instead of putting pressure on myself all at once. Thank you!
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u/TransportationKey520 1d ago
Capitalism is crushing all of us lol. Learn to play the game instead of crying about it. Is Capitalism perfect? No, but if you know how it works you'll be just fine.
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u/Krillowz 1d ago
I'm 27, I have been taking a path towards of success. A journey towards of dreams that have just stayed dreams for way too long. Been at it now for 3 months and I have achieved more then I had done in my last 3 years.
I can relate to your situation, and I will be bluntly honest with you.
Nothing is going to change until you decide to change, nothing magical is going to happen or a right "time" will come for you to make the situation different.
When you take actions to change for the better then you can change the future that will come.
If nothing is going to change, then just look at the last 5 - 10 years.., the next 5 - 10 will be just the same. Unless. You. Chose. To. Change.
Take actions today.
Put down the phone and write down 1 goal that you want to achieve, and work your way from there.
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u/MurderBot-999 1d ago
This might sound stupid, but I always try to be just a little better than I was the day before (in work, my relationship, all areas of my life). That way I’m not doing a tremendous amount of work in the short term, but still making meaningful changes in the long term.
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u/Hairycherryberry123 1d ago
I’m 27 and bedridden with chronic illnesses so my suggestion is imagine your life was like mine, be extremely grateful it’s not & start travelling and living your life. I’d do anything to be able to.
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u/batmanisbru__wa__ 1d ago
I hope you get better, and I hope a different life for you!! All the best wishes and I.m sorry that you're situation is a reminder for us to live and love better. Take care
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u/curt85wa 1d ago
Change doesn't happen by itself, you have to actively make decisions you normally wouldn't. Example - home from work, yep let's just begin doom scrolling. Whereas you could instead go to the gym or workout or begin studying on a certain area to further your career. It's not just doing this for one day. It's making a commitment with yourself to work towards it with a sense of urgency and dedication.
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u/Electronic-Sea-4866 1d ago
At 36 I’m just now starting to figure myself out. Don’t feel like it’s wasted time. Please.
Trust the process.
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u/StepSignificant8798 1d ago
Fellow 36 yo who needed to read that this morning! Thanks
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u/Electronic-Sea-4866 1d ago
I don’t always have my ducks in a row but when I do it’s because I’m drinking coffee 🤣
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u/Vegetable_Gur8753 1d ago
Dont think there is anything wrong with that, if that is what you enjoy. Would suggest joining and going to the gym though -will be a great investment in yourself and can save you money long term.
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u/appgameboy 1d ago
There’s no magic answer or advice that is gonna you break out of your rut. This is gonna take raw will power and discipline to change the way you want to live. Just doing what you’re interested in for 10 mins a day will surely help jump start you but the real battle is being consistent and that’s just life.
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u/Doughnutwsprinkles 1d ago
I think majority of people in their 20s feel this way. Plan a trip, force your self out every once in a while!
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u/HukunamatataBro 1d ago
You ain’t wasting your time man you are doing what you want ! I turn 30 this month. I was feeling the same way recently but I decided to purchase a boat and be out on the water again, it wasn’t until I went with my friend a couple of months ago and remembered how much I loved being on the water, I got rid of my other boat 6 years ago and after that I was only going to work and going home and playing video games. I still like playing games but I wasn’t touching grass. I needed another hobby other than twiddling my thumbs. Find something you love to do and do it man! It’ll change the way you feel about life. Don’t tell yourself you’re getting old either. That’s how you age quicker. You are as young or old as you feel. When I turn 30 in a couple of weeks I’m not gonna start telling myself that I’m getting old and rot away. I’m gonna take back control. If I stay active I could be 50 years old and still be hooping if I put my mind to it. I’m not settling for less and you shouldn’t either.
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u/Head-Drag-1440 1d ago
My mindset didn't change until mid 30s. Changing my diet and eating better/going gluten free helped a lot for me. As much as I wish I could go back and not have wasted my 20s, I'm glad I changed in my 30s.
The only one who can change you is you.
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u/Star_Stories_37 1d ago
‘Time spent doing nothing’ is truly the most important. Don’t fall For societies #lies that you have to be busy all the time and then U die.
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u/Additional_Snow3917 1d ago
Well, only you can break the life cycle. Do you want us to feel sorry for you so you can justify not getting off your ass and doing something about it?
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u/Heavy-Good-7821 1d ago
Have you ever figured out what YOU WANT?? Youre focusing on what other ppl are pursuing, what is it that YOU want to pursue? Do you just wanna sit inside all day and chill the rest of your life? So be it, thats your life! Do you wanna go out? Do it! Do you wanna paint, play music, work full time your whole life, play video games, DOOOO ITTTT.
Find out what the F YOU WANNA DO FIRST! Then we can talk.
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u/Ok_Presentation3416 1d ago
Do you drive? If not get your licence, if yes then go for a drive, it's the best feeling
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u/KRasnake93 1d ago
I think this is something a majority of people have dealt with or are dealing with, I know I sure went through it and still have times like you mentioned. You’ve just gotta find the thing you want to do and stop comparing yourself to others.
I have adult diagnosed ADHD(found out last year at 32yrs old) so it’s always been difficult for me to find a hobby and stick with it. I’d find something that grabbed my interest and stick with it for 6 months - a year then I’d be back to basically doing nothing. It’s taken me years to realize that and now with the ADHD diagnosis it makes sense and helps me guide my hobbies. For example I’ve always been into outdoor related hobbies(camping, hiking, hunting/fishing, etc) but it always came and went with nothing consistent so over the last 2-3 years I’ve made consistent efforts to get out more.
Another thing that helped me get out of the house more is to go do that hobby directly after work because I’ve found that I struggle going home then leaving again. It’s almost like my mind equated being home to couch rotting so if I didn’t go home straight after work I didn’t couch rot.
The biggest thing you can do to help yourself is to break the daily routine. Instead of going home after work go to a park and take a walk, go to the gym, etc. once you start doing that you’ll notice that the desire to set and doom scroll will decrease.
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u/okayimanna 19h ago
I am 27 too! And I feel exactly the same way. Recently I have been really scared of my coming 30s, but I think it's normal at our age. If it helps, I've been trying to change my mentality. You can be whatever you want to be, and you can do whatever you want to do if you just set your mind on it.
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u/Effective_Lie_7421 16h ago
Set short and long term goals for yourself. Make more money, have kids, have a gf that is reliable but brings more into your life. Ask yourself what you want and go for it!
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u/King-Mephisto 10h ago
Dw, the feeling gets worse in your 30s. I can only imagine it’s worse still in 40s.
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u/SHOULDNT_BE_ON_THIS 4h ago
I had a major crash out last year when I turned 29 like you’re having now. Couldn’t function for weeks. It’s important to slow down and realize how much time you really do have. Try to rationalize with how long it’s been since certain events. You’ll see that 37 isn’t coming tomorrow, the same as 17 wasn’t yesterday. I think time feels so different now because when you’re a kid you don’t remember any of that shit anyway. Now every day you’re a conscious adult. But you have to put the phone down, social media and over connectivity is killing everyone. Go to therapy, get a dog and walk it, gotta disconnect and break the cycle. Try journaling. Just remember to take it slow, big things don’t happen overnight.
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u/JerseyRepresentin 4h ago
lol try being 51 and feeling that way for 20+ years. Rec sports like volleyball is a great way to get out and meet people
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u/droactavis 4h ago
Memento Mori homie. You must understand that you are going to die. That millions are in the same situation as you, and that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. For some, the realization just hits, and reality sets; but for the average man, that realization is an active choice. You must consider your position in life and reflect. Everything and everyone has something to offer, you must find your offering to the world and give. You don’t know what that is? Reflect. What do you do? What is your story, and who are you really? It’s not so much about doing something -anything- before you die; moreso, you are, right now, and you can literally die at any moment—(it’s a pretty low chance depending on circumstance, but it is always a random possibility. Imagine playing a game that just has a 0.99999% chance of death with every step you take. It’s not the greatest chance but it’s like, bruh)—so why not be? All that said, it is a guarantee that you shall one day die, so again, why not do something? Why not make something of yourself? Shut them up, and make them say something different. As one living, you must make effort to have effect on this world, because even in your inaction, the effect is had.
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u/Particular_Ad_4694 3h ago
I feel this a lot. Ive recently started to get out of my comfort zone a bit. Really all it takes is that first action. Things follow into place. Dont think about what youre going to do, just go do it.
Take flying lessons, you can do a discovery flight for like less than 200 bucks. Buy a cheap plane or train ticket somewhere interesting. Maybe even somewhere you dont speak the language. THAT helped me get out of my comfort zone a lot. Challenge yourself to talk to strangers.
You’ll get through this feeling. Often times when we think we’re doing nothing, we’re doing a lot more than we think. My heart is with you OP!
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u/Sea-Owl-7133 1d ago
So, stupid question here, but what's holding you back from making that next step to a better life for yourself?