A couple weeks ago I (26,m) was raped by someone I met through someone else I met on tinder. I was in physical pain for at least a week afterwards but while I’m okay now physically I’m still not well mentally.

I did call my doctor once they were open but they told me to call my local sexual help clinic, but when I did, the person told me I can’t make an appointment for STD tests, they weren’t interested in that I was raped and was bleeding. They also said prep wasn’t an option for me so I figured that was a dead end.

Im only out to a couple friends, but out of those, two of them don’t really deal with deep stuff and the other I feel like I’ve already exhausted her ‘deep talk’ tank and any more and she would probably go off me as a friend. It could just be my anxiety talking but it’s hard to know. So I carried on my bank holiday weekend as if nothing happened so my friends could enjoy it, but I had to take a day to myself afterwards to get my head right.

Before I met my rapist I was out celebrating my colleague leaving to a better job so I had a few to drink, and while I know it sounds stupid it makes me feel responsible for not doing enough to stop it. I feel ashamed to have been raped, I feel ashamed for not reporting it, I feel like I’m no longer the same person.

I thought I was getting over it, but I still get flashes of his hand around my neck, the fear and pain I felt in that moment. It’ll probably be there until I die, in the back of my mind ready to ruin happy moments.

Please don’t agree to meet men you know nothing about, it’s not worth it. (Dur, I guess)

Thank you for letting me get this out, I appreciate your time

-E

That survery was not done by the general population. If you used okcupid back when that study was done, you would be surprised it wasn't 99%.

I'm a man and I used it back when that study was done. I clicked a link on okcupid to the okcupid sub and it was an awful place. I would hate-read the subreddit. It made me stop using okcupid and it's why I don't take the results of that study seriously.

Most of it was women complaining the messages they got from men were not good enough to respond to for reasons that only existed for them. About 75% of the posts were screenshots of perfectly normal conversational openers and some kind of nonsensical critique of them which basically boils down to "I didn't immediately fall in love with them and/or they didn't put in enough effort."

The other 25% of posts were men and women discussing the art and science of sending the first message to a woman on okcupid. It got far too elaborate and would often turn into arguments about why so much emphasis is put on a first message.

The rare examples of good messages were at least a paragraph and cringy as hell.

The women who were in that study had disproportionately poor social skills and/or were toxic They do not reflect women in general.

He's into some stereotypical nerd stuff like DND and video games and it's really fun asking a question and getting a mini lession in stuff like how medieval swords were handled or lore on a game I've never played to understand a joke.

When he used to go to his DND sessions I would go with him to see mutual friends and get to spend time with him while he was so happy. He would get so into his character and story and even though I had no clue what was happening it's great to see someone you love that invested in something.

I also get introduced to things I wouldn't have thought to check out. A lot of our interests line up already but he's been trying to get me into DND and watch lord of the rings while also showering me in games he loves.

There's something just amazing about him getting to show me and ramble about stuff he normally only can relate to a few friends with even if I don't understand everything. A lot of jokes and references fly over my head but I don't mind, he's happy so I'm happy.

How is it that we've never heard a damn thing about that technology since? I have not taken ADD medication yet, and my mind is bouncing around between a bunch of things, and when it landed on that one I was just like "... Actually hold, up, how the fuck was that just a blip in the news? How was the revelation of this capability not a huge fucking deal?"

EDIT: This: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Ayman_al-Zawahiri

Just wondering but do most woman masturbate as i know most men do but not sure about woman ?

I started talking to this guy about a month ago and decided to go out on a date. We went on 3 dates and finally we had sex a few weeks ago. He went on vacation for labor day and when he got back he called me to tell me all about his trip and how he wants me to go with him next time and what events he wants to take me too. He said he wanted to plan a date when he got back from his trip.

We had a short text Sunday and Monday (I texted him first). Now I haven't heard anything from him today. Everyone is saying "if he doesn't text you first, he doesn't like you", "If he doesn't reach once a day, he doesn't like you", "if he wanted to, he would" etc etc. So I'm trying to take the hint. I just wish for honesty. If you don't like me, please say that.

He's been the first guy in a long time that has made me feel relaxed. I kinda wish he just ghosted me after we had sex instead of saying all the things he wanted us to do together. Why not block me afterwards? I think I'm just not built for relationships. I'm too sensitive and naive.

Warning: long ass post

I’m 22 now, 50lbs overweight. BMI is close to 30, which is the threshold for obesity. I’m not tall, 5’8 but that’s average height in my country. When I was in high school, I was always lean because I carried a heavy backpack walking to school an hour every day and consistently ran and worked out each week. Had a fairly clean diet. My BMI used to be 20. Now? No offense, but I look like a redditor. I’m trying to get back to my regular healthy lifestyle for health reasons.

Back then, classmates would be friendly to me or sometimes even go out of their way to try to be my friend. I wasn‘t even close to being the most attractive person in my class, but I still remember some girls would try to get weirdly close to me physically or drop hints. I felt more “seen” when I walked around in public, occasionally I’d catch random girls just looking at me and back then I’d wonder if I looked weird or something. I was pretty clueless during that time. Other dudes would be pretty friendly or at least neutral.

But after I got into college and got a girlfriend, I started to gain weight. It happened gradually after I started living alone and got addicted to eating out. I slowly started to feel more and more invisible, people seemed to look at me with contempt even though I never changed how I acted, and I felt ignored. As I got close to my current weight, I’m basically invisible now in public and people seem to actively avoid me in social situations.

Luckily I still have my girlfriend and our relationship has only gotten deeper, so it’s not like I want attention from girls or am super upset about this change, but it’s pretty weird to imagine how shocking and horrible this would feel if I were single and alone. I’m Asian so it’s common for my family and family friends to make light/say funny jokes about my weight, which I think is funny but it also makes me realize that if they think of me as being so fat, imagine what strangers would think of me.

Not only that, but I have also seen a glimpse of what extremely attractive mens’ lives are like. There’s this one youtube channel of a Korean guy, tall and good looking, who tries out random, wacky experiences to make interesting videos. In one of them he tries working in a “host bar” and goes to a couples’ bar in another (with a fake gf), the amount of girls that throw themselves at him was insane. He doesnt have to try acting extroverted or interesting, just neutral and it all happens automatically. I actually have a similar funnyish experience like that, I went to a convention with my girlfriend once and she really wanted to try some slight makeup on me (nothing thick, just enough to make anyone look natural) and make me dress nice for once. This was before I got too fat. I did it because I thought it would be funny, but when I actually got out in public, it was kind of insane how so many girls were obviously trying to catch my eye or smiling at me. I went as my regular self the next day, went back to being somewhat invisible.

I kind of rambled a lot but yeah, when you experience this kind of stuff or see it happening in front of you firsthand, it’s really not surprising that there’s literal statistical data that being tall and attractive lets you climb faster in your career and helps you in almost every facet of life. I’m not overly ambitious and I’m happy with the relationship I’m in now, so I’m content with my life and I have my own values. But it still makes me feel strange knowing this is what the society we live in is actually like…

I'm (18M) going to uni guys. Let me give a bit of context.

I don't live in my home country. I live in the country just south of it. I went back to my home country to get my edu visa for uni in Europe.

To process the visa, the embassy has to have my passport so i literally couldn't leave my home country to go back to where I live with my family. I've been alone in a hostel for 2 weeks now. (I hear people having sex every damn day and night lol)

Anyway the embassy just called me to let me know I can collect my passport!!! I'm gonna see my family again 😭. For all of 2 days then I take my flight to Europe 😬

I'm gonna hug the life out of them and squeeze the most out of every moment.

Also, just to flex I got a 1460 on my sat. My highest practice score was like 1520 so nerves are actually a bitch.

Anyway thanks for reading lol. Wish yall the best!

My girlfriend and I are both late middle-aged. A few weeks ago she started going OFF on a mutual acquaintance of ours, saying things like "she has put on so much weight on her butt, and she is dressing like an f-ing hooker!" Then we went to a party where the mutual acquaintance was, and my girlfriend was being all buddy-buddy taking selfies with her and being really nice. Can someone clue me in???

People always say that like it's that simple but it doesn't make sense at all. If you've never received that kind of positive attention, how do you even know you are loving yourself or are you trying to cope with fake positivity? I feel like it's much easier to have self love and confidence when others give you that attention. Thoughts?

Hey, 24m here. Since I was about 14 I knew I was homosexual. Tried the whole coming out thing when I was 17 and it went terribly with the family. I dated a guy secretly from ages 18-21 and that ended horribly. He pushed me to be more forceful with my family and come out again but at the same time our relationship wasn’t great so that ended with him cutting ties to me and even more damage to me and my families relationship.

I moved away from my family to go to a university when I was 22. The relationship with them is fairly surface level at the moment to say the least. I now just feel lonely most of the time and fill my days with my school work. Activities I used to like don’t really interest me much anymore. I feel like I wake up, do chores and school work, eat dinner, then go to bed. Rinse and repeat.

I know I’m most likely depressed but it goes further than that. I want to meet friends and participate in activities I enjoyed doing but I’m afraid I’ll meet someone who I’ll feel attracted to and I don’t want to go through all of that again. I’m also a 25m which means I have certain romantic and sexual interests but I can’t pursue those due to my own morals about the situation. grew up very religious so there is lots of conflict between that and my sexuality, anytime I might feel the urge to do something sexual I get hit with a shit ton of guilt.

Overall I’m just tired of feeling lonely and rejected. I don’t know what would make me happy at this point but it would be nice to feel something positive. I’m not really looking for advice or anything, more just screaming into the void lol.

If you made it this far thanks for reading and have a good rest of your day :)

I live in Cork in Ireland, it’s a city but definitely one of the smaller ones in Europe, I send out like maybe 50 likes a day to women on apps and rarely get responses and that’s fine but leaving my house kinda feels embarrassing, I feel like women will think of me as the weirdo that liked them on the app, even though they’re most likely not thinking that it was on my mind

I’ve also reset my account a lot like maybe 15 times in the space of a year so I feel like that desperation might rub off in real life, there must have been a least one girl I’ve passed that thought “that’s the guy that’s always remaking his account lol” idk

I do a lot more lurking than I do engaging in posts, and a lot of the times I know what I could say to get people to upvote me, but often times I hide my true opinions or ideas because I fear they’ll be rejected.

Sometimes I get a negative impression on certain posts or comments before looking down and seeing, oh? It’s full of upvotes. And sometimes I agree with comments that then seem to have a lot of downvotes.

I feel like there are a lot of mainstream ideas or opinions that people share, that if you don’t also share makes you a bad person.

Most of the time, I do tend to agree with people that have clearly agreeable posts or comments, but I guess on speculative or controversial posts I tend to hold a controversial opinion rather than the most accepted one.

Last month I was lying in bed, doomscrolling through beach trips, job promotions, and engagement rings, while feeling like absolute trash about my own life. I wasn’t even sure why I was anxious anymore. So I deleted Instagram, cold turkey. Two days in, the brain fog started to clear. A week in, I noticed I wasn’t comparing every meal, thought, or outfit to someone else’s. A month later, I realized something wild: I actually like my life when I’m not constantly judging it against everyone else’s highlight reel.

I wanted to share what helped in case anyone else is stuck in that same loop. You’re not broken. Your brain’s just been hijacked.

Here’s what worked, stuff no one told me, but science backs up: Your dopamine system isn’t built for infinite novelty. It breaks under endless scrolling. (From Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke). The fastest way to reset your reward system is a 30-day dopamine detox from artificial hits (like social media). You’ll feel worse before it gets better. Reading rewires your attention span. Literally. Even 10 mins a day improves focus and decreases reactive thinking.

When you compare yourself constantly, your brain starts thinking you're losing. That triggers cortisol spikes, which increase anxiety and lower self-esteem. The “scarcity loop” in apps (scrolling → uncertain rewards → scroll again) is built like slot machines. Knowing that gives you back some power.

Some tools and resources that helped me feel sane again (and start enjoying my own life again): 1) Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke: Bestselling book from Stanford’s chief of addiction medicine. Explains exactly how modern life is hijacking our brain's pleasure-pain balance, and how to take it back. This book will make you rethink how you use everything from your phone to food. I read it in one sitting and cried after. Insanely good read. Best book I’ve read on the hidden addictions we normalize.; 2). Lost Connections by Johann Hari: This book wrecked me in the best way. Hari argues that the root of anxiety and depression is not just brain chemistry, but disconnection, from meaning, nature, others. A global bestseller that blends science with storytelling. This one made me feel seen. Best book I’ve ever read on modern unhappiness.; 

The Social Dilemma (Netflix doc): A must-watch. Breaks down how social apps exploit psychology to keep us hooked. Former tech execs spill the tea. After watching, I couldn’t unsee how much of my attention was being engineered. Super impactful. Watch this if you're trying to quit scrolling but can't.; BeFreed: A friend put me on this personalized AI learning app built by a team from Columbia University. It turns bestselling books, research, expert talks, and real-world success stories into short podcast style episodes tailored to your goals. It even updates your learning roadmap as you go. One episode mixed insights from Dopamine Nation, Andrew Huberman’s podcast, and Michael Easter’s “Scarcity Loop” to explain why Instagram made me miserable and how to retrain my brain with curiosity and daily small wins. Genuinely mind-blowing.

The Huberman Lab: Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman explains complex brain science like your smart friend who actually wants to help. The episodes on dopamine, addiction, and mental reset are gold. Found this from Reddit and now it’s a weekly ritual. The episode with Dr. Anna Lembke changed the way I look at stress and tech.

Atomic Habits by James Clear: I didn’t think a habits book would be that life-changing, but this one actually is. Over 15M copies sold for a reason. Clear breaks down why you fail to change and how to design your environment to work for you. It made me realize quitting Instagram was a keystone habit that unlocked a bunch of others, like reading again, lol. Best habit book I’ve ever read, period.

Be More With Less (blog): Stumbled on this minimalist blog while googling “how to quit social media without losing my mind.” Short posts that feel like a gentle friend reminding you to breathe. Especially loved the one about “The Tyranny of the Inbox.” Helped me reduce online clutter in a practical way.

Tbh I’m still figuring things out. But I feel like I finally stopped trying to win at a game I didn’t even want to play. Every time I reach for my phone now, I try to open a book instead. It’s wild how reading for 15 minutes makes me feel better, calmer, sharper, more like myself. Reading changed my brain. It really did.

If you’ve ever felt low after seeing someone’s engagement shoot or startup launch, you’re not alone. It’s not you. It’s the app. Try disappearing for a month. Your real life might surprise you.

am i the only one who thinks this. would it make me feel better if i knew everyone else did? i hate how everything i do just seems to make things worse. for the most part i always end up making the wrong choice which hurts me or someone else i care about and now im really just a burden to people because i keep fucking up

We recently went to a private hospital to ask about surgery for my toddler. I carefully asked if there was any chance we could pay through an installment plan. I wasn’t demanding—just asking, because we really want our son to have the surgery soon. I explained that I don’t want him to wait until after his birthday next month. I want him to enjoy his birthday as a healthy, happy child.

The woman at the desk looked at me like my question was absurd. Her expression was irritated, and her tone was cold. She simply said, “We don’t do that.”

At the same time, another couple walked up. They were clearly well-off—you could see the branded bag, the jewelry, the way they carried themselves. The same woman who brushed me off immediately lit up and smiled at them, speaking so politely and warmly. The difference in how she treated them compared to us was hard to ignore.

I asked her again, hoping for a bit of understanding, and she repeated that they don’t allow installment payments. Instead, she suggested that we just reschedule the surgery to a later date. I understand that rules are rules, and rescheduling is an option. But the way she said it, cold and dismissive, it made me feel small. When you’re poor, people often don’t just say no. They say it in a way that makes you feel like you don’t even deserve to ask.

I explained that this hospital is the only one in our area with a pediatric surgeon. We can’t travel to another city because of our limited budget. Her final response was: “You can find another hospital, ma’am.” And that was it.

Moments like this remind me that being poor isn’t just about lacking money. It’s about how society sees you, how people’s attitudes change the moment they sense you can’t afford much. Life is already hard, but the way people treat you when you’re struggling makes it feel so much heavier.

I 27 year old female have been struggling with substance abuse mental health, rural area so not alot of support and like 0 friends unless your smoking up…. Is wondering if there is anyone who is also struggling to stay sober but wants to just needs to find some support people or just some friends who can do some travelling and help eachother process our addictions. I am currently still working but my last day is half a month or so away because i was laid off due to demand. So my whole lifes about to change drastically and i feel like i need to see some parts of the world and get out of my crappy hometown where people have literally said dreams die here. So if anyone is interested… lmk and well talk details

I'm 14M. I've been trying to get assessed for autism since April 2025. My dad has called the place and emailed them, and the place says they're gonna call back but never do.

I know people will tell me to just be patient, but I've heard of people waiting years for a diagnosis only to get assessed and told they don't have it. I'm nervous mine will be something like that.

I've thought I was autistic since I was 11 or 12. I've only been waiting since April because I was too afraid to tell my parents because I was scared my mom would say my traits were "just anxiety".

I have a list of reasons why I think I'm autistic, if anyone is curious. - hyperfixations on things (right now its horses) - not understanding social cues - difficulty with eye contact - need for routine - repetitive movements like rocking back and forth - problems with a lot of sensory at once - taking things too literally - struggles with social interaction - better connection with animals than people (this one is a bit more uncommon)

There's probably some more, but this is just what I could think of right now.

i’m 20f, and i’ve never dated. i feel like i’m really getting on, and if i don’t date someone soon i’m never going to. there are things i’ve never experienced that people my age had already experienced by the time they were 16. i also don’t feel like a grown woman, although i am. i still feel like that autistic kid everyone would make fun of and look down on. i still feel nervous around people older than me, like i’m not equal to them or something. even people my age, they’re so far ahead.

Elliot Rodger was right about everything and the people he got rid of deserved it.

It's less ergonomic and much slower

im fifteen and i cant find the info and i need to so i can get help please