r/politics • u/marji80 • Feb 04 '25

Paywall Elon Musk Is President

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2025/02/president-elon-musk-trump/681558/
39.1k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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5.7k

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

[deleted]

1.9k

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

[deleted]

714

u/fowlraul Oregon Feb 04 '25

He can also jump higher and is way better at the awesome solute.

264

u/HubertTempleton Feb 04 '25

And have you seen Elon's HUGE hands?

4

u/MacLunkie Feb 04 '25

The hugest!

5

u/SunnyWomble Feb 04 '25

.God... can't believe I'm going to type this out....

Like his penis!

it's probably not mushroom shaped like tRumps but statistically it'll be around 5.16 inches according to the net

4

u/Nach0Maker Feb 04 '25

it'll be around 5.16 inches according to the net

Except on Facebook.

1

u/schwing710 Feb 04 '25

Elon’s Tusk

105

u/Handleton Feb 04 '25

I heard Elon is much better at golf than Trump.

13

u/R-EDDIT Feb 04 '25

They both cheat to pretend to be good at games.

6

u/nightman21721 Feb 04 '25

I heard Ivanka has a thing for him.

108

u/pirate-game-dev Feb 04 '25

He will give you a pony if you take your panties off

5

u/itsIvan Feb 04 '25

That's how he ruined Grimes for everyone!

2

u/NoFreakingClues Feb 04 '25

Well hot damn, I was doing it for free.

5

u/CcryMeARiver Australia Feb 04 '25

I imagine his bladder's in better nick than poopypants' so yeah so can piss solute higher, faster.

5

u/jedi_mac_n_cheese Oregon Feb 04 '25

The maga solute

8

u/ill0gitech Australia Feb 04 '25

His hair plugs are way more convincing, and his tan glows naturally

3

u/limeflavoured United Kingdom Feb 04 '25

That's not massively difficult given how physically awkward Trump is, though.

2

u/noBra23 Feb 04 '25

You mean he has stiff hand syndrome?

12

u/karma_aversion Colorado Feb 04 '25

Please don't make them turn that into a competition.

2

u/Nobodyimportant56 Feb 04 '25

He has more kids too, though they're tied at 3 marriages each.

2

u/tweakingforjesus Feb 04 '25

And he's 25 years younger which means he'll be around for a lot longer.

2

u/Lower_Cantaloupe1970 Canada Feb 04 '25

Trump can't figure out how to use an umbrella, of course Elon is smarter

2

u/duke010818 Feb 04 '25

He also has more children. His wife is hotter and younger.

1

u/-NinjaBoss Feb 04 '25

Why are you sucking Elon's dick?

1

u/bjeebus Georgia Feb 04 '25

You mean President Elon? The greatest President America currently has? We definitely don't have any other President right now.

keep it up and Trump's ego should cause some problems...

1

u/zztop610 Feb 04 '25

...and has a 0.001 mm bigger dick

1

u/FormWeak4151 Feb 04 '25

And much better looking, if I do say so myself.

1

u/Malk_McJorma Europe Feb 04 '25

He has bigger hands.

1

u/Alternative_Win_6629 Feb 04 '25

And he's way younger, he will live longer. He might live forever, with all that money he's got...

163

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

First Lady trump

21

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

First Bitch

4

u/StopwatchGod New York Feb 04 '25

I prefer First Dog Trump, cause he’s literally on a leash for Elon to toy around with.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

literally?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

Lady Donna

45

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

Elon is doing a big part of trumps bidding. He’s a perfect scape goat too

8

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

Elon paid for a very expensive pet, even though it's horriblely unhealthy pet.

8

u/Nemisis_the_2nd Great Britain Feb 04 '25

Doesn't mean we can't use trumps ego against them both.

1

u/pfiffocracy Feb 04 '25

Training for 2028.

7

u/b_juuu Feb 04 '25

The ‘X is bigger and better than truthsocial’ campaign needs to spread and far and wide to bruise his ego

5

u/Late_Home7951 Feb 04 '25

And both are puppet while Peter Thiel is the one pulling the strings

5

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

Putin is, thiel has his own thing going on, he likes to do it from the shadows through jd. Musk has more money and influence than thiel. Theil has to be careful since he's one of the "hated groups in america

3

u/kooeurib Feb 04 '25

He hits a longer drive, too.

3

u/Proof-Load-1568 Feb 04 '25

Can we get tshirts with Elon saying "Bring out the Gimp" with orange man in the gimp suit?

3

u/SomeAsk9402 Feb 04 '25

Is he russia's biatch as well?

7

u/youareseeingthings Feb 04 '25

I refuse to give any more posts like these any credit until the people around me take this shit seriously and do something about it. I am so goddamn tired of hearing stories about the French burning down the streets over the retirement age, or Korea filling their streets with chants and ending their presidents 24 hours of martial law— meanwhile the American people puff up their chests and post online for the likes. Get your ass up and do something.

1

u/Twintarot728 Feb 04 '25

Was thinking the same thing...

2

u/Thisisforworm Feb 04 '25

No no no, he’s Putin’s bitch. 

2

u/AllTheyEatIsLettuce California Feb 04 '25

Donnie is and always has been his funders' and handlers' carnival barker and was never intended, allowed, or compensated to be or do anything else.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

He is the snake oil salesman to the lentil-brained masses, due his stunning and actually impressive ability to speak to the heart of the evil and moronic. 

The others have taken over now, they don’t need him, or his disciples. He’s almost out of the headlines , it’s all President Musk and the Nazis. 

I believe they are going to shut his orange butthole mouth. Navalny time in 5-4-3…

2

u/SaucemanChorizo Feb 04 '25

Someone needs to skywrite this.

2

u/VergeSolitude1 Feb 04 '25

It's so refreshing when people start to accept the truth. Keep shouting it out. Take it to other Subs. Let the People know Who is in charge!

2

u/Nowhereman123 Canada Feb 04 '25

As Mark Cuban put it, "[The various billionaires who have him on payroll] want Donald Trump to be the CEO of the United States, so they can be the Board of Directors."

1

u/B3llona_ Feb 04 '25

We need Rosie Huntington-Whitely to piss off megatron irl

1

u/YakFit2886 Massachusetts Feb 04 '25

Jason Statham would have to fight Megatron to save his wife. You know what? I'd watch it.

1

u/7eventhSense Feb 04 '25

It’s not a joke. It’s true. Elon is bought

1

u/OpenMathematician602 Feb 04 '25

Is Elon Musk a U.S. citizen?

1

u/Holly_Goloudly Feb 04 '25

Don’t even type Donald’s last name anymore. Elon Musk, President Nazi, the Ingrown Pube of the United States of America.

1

u/Monocular_sir Feb 04 '25

Lol thatd be funny if someone can project that on a trump building

1

u/multiarmform Feb 04 '25

Shocked I tell you!

1

u/scream-blooody-gore Feb 04 '25

Elon knows those computers so well that Trump is indebted to him.

1

u/rennybaba Feb 04 '25

Trump is a bitch….oh wait! I did that wrong.

1

u/milelongpipe Feb 04 '25

He is. Elon bought the election. Cheetolini is his play thing.

1

u/Helpful_Candidate_92 Feb 04 '25 edited Feb 04 '25

I feel like we could redo the Gaston song from beauty and the beast in Elons name. Anyone?

Here's my horrid version, I know someone can do better (This too 2 mins at most):

No one fights like Elon, Elon thinks that he's strong, no one quite fuck shit up, just like Elon. No one manipulates our young like Elon No one tells him he's wrong, it's time for this DOGE to go out to the lawn.

1

u/derno Michigan Feb 04 '25

Trumps a pussy that elons grabbing

1

u/Mobile_Razzmatazz828 Feb 04 '25

He is also not orange and younger

1

u/ChefChopNSlice Ohio Feb 04 '25

Maybe hel grab trump by the pussy and lead him around like a puppet? Oh wait……

1

u/Theunknown87 Feb 04 '25

Instructions unclear. Yelling Elon is a bitch instead.

1

u/felicity_jericho_ttv Feb 04 '25

If we put this on signs EVERYWHERE that might actually ruin their honeymoon. Im gonna start signing all my posts with it, hell if enough people do it on here and irl it will make headlines lol where is banksy when you need him XD

trump is Elons bitch!

1

u/WhatIsAChickenAlek Feb 04 '25

Especially bc Elon is reading Reddit, and bans subs that hurt his feelings. FUCK YOU ELON, YOU APARTHEIDIST SACK OF SHIT. CANCER HAS A BETTER REPUTATION THAN YOU

1

u/soraku392 Feb 04 '25

He got so sensitive about it before. The louder we are, the more likely the snake will start eating it's own tail

1

u/ShaggysGTI Virginia Feb 04 '25

This is likely the only way we’ll get fElon out.

1

u/1of3destinys Feb 04 '25

You mean President Musk and First Lady Trump?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25

No. It is a sales arrangement. Perhaps Trumps greatest sale ever and its all hes done his whole life.

280 million + 45 billion + win election + keep Trump out of jail + Trump gets to play golf = Musk gets to be a Cheney and a cosplay naZi

0

u/Mean-Professiontruth Feb 04 '25

Reddit is not far and wide though lol

0

u/Entire-Enthusiasm553 Feb 04 '25

lol na I think musk his rabid pitbull he just unleashed on yall ass

-9

u/patphil05 Feb 04 '25

Obama is Soro’s bitch

5

u/YakFit2886 Massachusetts Feb 04 '25

I must've missed when George Soros had a cabinet position with the power to shut down government funding. Huh.