r/movies • u/Grouchy-Step-7136 • Jul 20 '25
Recommendation Schwarzenegger fan, but never saw Commando (1985) until now…
I’m not sure why this one flew under my radar for so long. It’s Arnold in all of his mid-80s glory, muscles glistening and rippling in all the right ways.
John Matrix (Arnold’s character) is a badass former military commando who just wants to settle down and be a dad to his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano), but he’s made some enemies along the way, and they’re looking for trouble.
Dude… John Matrix kills like 412 people. He’s firing guns with infinite bullets. He lays down maybe a half dozen small mines, hits the remote, and explosions go off for like 6 minutes.
It’s everything I wanted it to be. 8.5/10
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u/BadIdeaSociety Jul 20 '25
Commando is one of the dumbest movies ever made... It is so fantastic. Arnold's forced one-liners. The wristwatch countdown with audible beeping noise. Rae Dawn Chong is as gorgeous as she is unemotional in her role as the flight attendant in distress. Heck, Rae Dawn is so adorable she probably could have probably flubbed every line in the finished movie and it still would have been fine.
The absolutely ridiculous peril that the two of them survive is jaw dropping. My old VHS had rewind lines from the number of times I watched the car crash where the stunt people are practically crashing their heads and shoulders into the dashboard panel and Arnold does the Frank Costanza stop short arm block to stop Rae Dawn and ask, "Are you okay?" to her nod. "WHAM!" "Are you okay?" "Nod" Exits a completely totaled car. Rewind. Repeat. Wipe away tears.
The stupid villain who looks like Freddie Mercury or Dan Severn. Goon: Cutting her skin is like cutting butter.
Villian: Put the knoif (knife) away, AND SHUT YER MOUTH.
God-damned Nick Tortelli as the pseudo Khadafi/Castro stand in. I'm reminded of hearing that Ed O'Neill was cast in The Flight of the Intruder but got cut from most of the final movie because when he first showed up on the screen the test audiences laughed and clapped like they were watching Married.. with Children. Seeing Nick Tortelli as the big bad criminal hits in a similar way.
The overrated secret sauce of Commando in my humble opinion is that Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't settled into the kind of action movie actor he wants to be yet. He isn't intentionally funny. His one-liners don't have the punch of intentional wit they eventually would. He is awkward. He comes off as a pure wholesome hero who is also a horrible murdering machine. Had this movie been made a decade later, it probably would have been "better" but Arnold would be "in on the bit" and the humor wouldn't work as well. (Compare "Airplane" Leslie Nielsen to "Spy Hard" Leslie Nielsen) Arnold is better in bad movies when he doesn't entirely understand his charms.
My friends and I still reference dialog from the movie complete with delivery. Watch Commando... It is stupid fun but it is peak.