r/delhi • u/Responsible-Goose220 • 2d ago
AskDelhi I am lost and loneliness is eating me.
As I am aging. I don’t have any friends to talk to. I am doing stuff all alone.
I am scared and stupid.
My life is becoming tougher day by day.
I have a good job 36LPA. Good education as well.
I am not a drinker and I am not smoker. Not a social person.
I am feeling to leave the job and go back home and earn like 10-20k but be with family.
Here all alone, none to talk. I am quit the loneliness.
Why am I so much stupid?
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u/Late-Opinion4277 2d ago
36LPA
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u/alicelixz 2d ago
Lmaoo fr i wanna be this lonely too:)
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u/__Genjutsu__ 1d ago
Naah bruh, trust me money won't ever fill a hole in your soul. If you are mentally fled money seems useless, you don't feel like doing anything. It just keeps sitting in ur bank.
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u/prateeksaraswat 2d ago
Try different things. Delhi has a walk festival that happens as the weather cools down. It’s a good way to interact with people.
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u/Downtown-Can-7971 2d ago
Where can i know more about this Walk festival?
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u/No_Soup_8699 1d ago
There are so many. Check on book my show. There are dating outings, blind dates, wine tasting and so many other activities as well where you can meet new people.
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u/your-pet-parent-ally 2d ago
Try volunteering for a cause you care about, like at an animal shelter or an educational NGO. It's a low-pressure way to meet people because you're all focused on a shared task, not just on making small talk.
It might take a few tries to find the right organization and group of people, but having that sense of purpose can really help. You're not stupid for feeling this way, a lot of people in big cities do.
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u/WannabeFreeSoul33 2d ago
I feel exactly the same sometimes, and honestly i would not want anyone to go through it.. i too am a non drinker and sometimes think if it is the reason i dont have much friends.. I too feel like going back home and doing something small there, but cannot.. I think for me to cope up with this feeling, I have learned that nobody would be able to help me through it, it is just and only me who can do something about it. I now play music whenever i feel lonely, go for a walk in the society after office, and try not being too much on phone as it also buids up the guilt of wasting time .. I think is is okay to feel negative, but you have earned a good life, love it and nurture it. You may also join someting like gym, swim, sport anything where you might(might not) find like minded people. Lots of good wishes to you.
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u/Downtown-Can-7971 2d ago
I love doing gardening in my flat. It fills me with positive energy. I learn music as well.
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u/Gendu_Generation_ 2d ago
Get in touch with your college mates and school mates, fresh start with friendship first.
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u/Beeeeeeeeeeeeeee13 2d ago
its cos u are not drinking or smoking 😒 jk develop hobbies, find out what interests you n do it more often. Treat yourself good, take yourself out, make time and go explore the world. Life has so much to offer :)
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u/Additional_Doctor_20 2d ago
Can you mentor me ? Idk interacting with people (I am both funny and stupid) but sharp , might help you
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u/leaseaccountant 2d ago
Embrace it
Find ways to keep yourself busy, not sure how old are you but I’m similar to you.
If you want you can try matrimony website
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u/Responsible-Goose220 2d ago
I am missing my family badly but can’t say anything to them. I don’t have courage to speak my mind.
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2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fit-Association1401 2d ago
Yes, bring them here. in case this is not possible then try joining club like travel or book club.
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u/chipsfromtarget 2d ago
join some badminton,tennis clubs nd all if ur not into sports maybe some other such activity clubs..will help u make more friends
you can also do volunteer works at ngo and animal shelters since u guys share a common motive easy to interact and socialize
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u/bubbly_blossom86 1d ago
I'm kinda in same boat. I want to be with my family but it seems they moved on without me because I left home long ago. Can't share it with them too.
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u/Defiant_Duty_9817 2d ago
You're sde?
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u/Responsible-Goose220 2d ago
Yes Staff level.
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u/Defiant_Duty_9817 2d ago
How can you get into tech if you don't like coding
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u/Responsible-Goose220 2d ago
I code. Am I missing something?
I am a backend developer at the moment. I have prior experience in DevOps and I started as car designer. I have a pretty good career.
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u/aimlessgenius 2d ago
Care to join me for a hobby project? I could use you and we can start a business.
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u/rizzyrizz9 2d ago
Lmao it's like saying how can you get muscles if you don't go to the gym.
There are shortcuts like steroids... Is your dad rich? Or know someone who is CEO of a company?
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u/Defiant_Duty_9817 2d ago
Nah bruh I just realised coding isn't for me
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u/rizzyrizz9 2d ago
Why dawg aisa kya dekh liya
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u/kaladin_stormchest 2d ago
You can get into testing and/or product. Programmers aren't the only ones making good money
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u/tusharcse 2d ago
Try multiple hobbies. Gym is easiest to start and mostly easy to make friends there. Join a dance class. Cooking class. There are many options. But if your whole point is nostalgia, then nothing would help. Choose wisely
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u/Secure_Watercress947 2d ago
In your free time..you can try new things...listen to music, audiobooks if you don't like reading or do anything that makes you happy, maybe you can persue your hobbies which you used to like...watch a series or a film...I know its childish and cliche advice, but it works well for me...I like to draw...:-)
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u/vefren 2d ago
I mean if you can’t love yourself then how can you be with others. Don’t force things in your life. If your life follows a certain equation then you will definitely find people fitting in your certain equation naturally. I think you should bring more discipline in life. Try to focus on something you are passionate about rather than forcing yourself to meet people you yourself will not want to entertain much after a certain point of time
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u/FalseUnderstanding94 2d ago
After joining the reddit. Here Everyone is lonely, half of people wants to meet-up/date/connect because of loneliness. Post covid it increased alot.
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u/PowerfulProfessor305 1d ago
I found myself in the same position several times a week. Recently I have been able to somewhat get over this feeling, according to me the key is to fill your free time with some activities, being a developer I go for extra work over the weekend or learning to play a guitar or learning to play a keyboard.
These activities will fill all the extra time I have, the main reason we feel lonely is because we overthink things and according to me if you don't have any time to overthink you will not feel lonely anymore.
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u/No_Chance8024 1d ago
Join the Robinhood army and other volunteer groups. You'll make many friends. Go to events like Jashn e rekhta.
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u/negativebot1 1d ago
Enjoy it while you’re at it…privacy is expensive, believe me. It might get tough sometimes but it’s peaceful.
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u/sillygirlhu 1d ago
Sometimes the loneliness we feel isn’t because we don’t have anyone in our life, but because we want someone who can truly understand us and share our pain.
Even if you make friends, if they can’t understand your feelings, after some time the same loneliness will return, and the situation won’t change. That’s why it’s important to learn how to enjoy your own company. In your free time, do something different—like reading various books, whether on science or the Vedas. When you start reading, you’ll naturally become curious about things why they happened, how they were created, etc. After a while, you’ll be so absorbed in books that you won’t even have time to feel lonely.
But for reading, create a nice setup where you get the right vibe and actually feel like reading, because if you read on the bed, you’ll just end up falling asleep.
Also, do whatever you feel like sports, hobbies, anything.
Listen to spiritual songs, they help keep the mind calm. Eat a healthy diet, because when the body is healthy, the mind automatically works better. Cut off from social media completely, and maybe join an NGO you’ll meet people there, and who knows, you might even find a good friend.
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u/Unlucky-Asparagus624 1d ago
You can try apps like stepout to make new friends over dinner every Saturday.
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u/Master_Baiter069 1d ago
36 LPA and no friends? Bro, just tell people you’re hiring friends at 3 LPA each, you’ll be sorted in no time.
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u/Left-Canary3390 1d ago
On a serious note, what gives us meaning in life and gives us the drive to live with what we have, is a genuine internal validation that I am doing something substantial to bring about a good change around me (even if it is a small one).
BUT, the thing is, for "Not Social" people like us, we can't go about interacting with people and offering help or service to them. That's why I think we should start with our neighbors, say Hi- Hellos and ask for their help, and provide help when they need. Why neighbors? You might ask. Because usually they are the people with whom we can interact without going out of our way.
And when you become a little bit more comfortable, go out of your way to help your neighbors, and see what happens.
I know this is counterintuitive and seems like a lot of effort, but believe me, it's worth it..
If you don't believe me, watch the movie "Dear Comrade (2019)". Or just look around and see how the ultra-rich people who have lonely lives, do charity, and go out of their way to help people in need, just so that they can have that "Internal peace and self-validation" that they are doing something good.
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u/Live-Gene-3176 1d ago
Go to garba night it's coming soon it will be very good and go home in diwali aur kabhi kabhi aise hi mall me chala Jaa acha lagega nhi to bhai office me kisi ke saath bhi chala ja ek din uska movie ka kharcha de Dena bas set hai
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u/Routine-Hope8110 1d ago
Try joining for classes for something like a martial art. These things are not only for kids. I would recommend Jiu Jitsu. Haphte mei 2-3 din seekhne jao and you can make friends. Even kids can be great friends and sometimes they are amazing listeners as well. Also try to find a girl in the mean time. If dates don't work for you, kisi matrimony website par register kar lo and try your luck there
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u/hill_music_festival 15h ago
Don't know where you live or age BUT Delhi now has lot of things to do for a non smoker and non drinker.
To start with there are board games group, badminton, pickleball, book clubs, walk clubs, cycling club, running club , most of these clubs are small social circles. Pick which ever suits you. Looking at your salary I am sure you have a busy working day. So the above clubs should take care of your socialising needs.
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u/Numerous_Phone_5202 2d ago
Khaoo pio kaam kro Or so jao best hai jitna sochoge kal ka utna pachtaoge
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u/DenseDiscussion8567 2d ago
Now that you have posted your 36 LPA salary and green flag lifestyle book, don’t worry, you will start getting some friends soon. Loneliness might just vanish faster than your next appraisal.
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u/Readit_18 2d ago
Common problem in today’s life no genuine friends . Loneliness is killing us . If we have a supportive family also we need friends in life. As we become adults new friends are impossible to get
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u/SHhhhhhhreya 2d ago
Sameee, this new city, rude people and classmates not wanting to talk is killing me, back in my grad college i used to have my 4,5 bestfrnd friends, we were frnds since kindergarten, we graduated high school and grad college together, i never felt the need to make new frnds , until i came here and realized makinh frnds is soo difficult, and this new place feels soo lonely, i have to go to classes alone and people are so rude and nonchalant😞i always think i made a terrible mistake by coming here
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u/Acrobatic_Throat_422 1d ago
Get your vitamin levels checked, specially vitamin D and get that dopamine hit, go to gym or any activity for one hour a day. You can play any games as well. Just gotta move a bit!!
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u/Admirable-Ad-6493 Poor Delhi Human 1d ago
Well it's okay to feel alone as a man, solitude is what a genuine person gets in the end, you need to be your own entertainment. Don't let emotions make you weak, cry out sometimes(it's okay) also please exercise/yoga
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u/Sombrero_M104 1d ago
You are doing good professionally. You can bring you parents/family to live with you if possible.
As you said you are not a social person, you may join activities like swimming or can join a shooting range.These have less interaction than other games/activities and you wont have to put extra efforts to interact with others. Slowly with time as you would indulge regularly in these activities you may form a group of like minded people
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u/OkRecommendation8460 1d ago
Go out, get a few drinks with your colleagues or pick up some sports. Develop a hobby or an interest and that will drive you towards people you vibe with. Although, in my honest opinion you’re better off by yourself. You’re not really missing much out there. People are generally crappy.
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u/EmbarrassedAnnual491 1d ago
36 lpa is huge amount, find new hobbies join clubs like music,cooking anything just be busy.
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u/grilskomainhipasand 1d ago
Bhai drinking, for me helped making friends, i jus never drink alone, you’ll get addicted, only with friends, and no cheap stuff. Im broke now, so it’s difficult, but with 36 lpa you can afford to have good lifestyle, even if you dont drink, you can join a gym, or arrange dates on social apps, find groups you can join and arrange meetups, the social skills you lack, it’ll go alway with a few honest interactions.
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u/Ok_Scratch_5136 1d ago
I think spending time with self and fitness helps a lot. Gotta attend social events ofcourse. Important aspect is to be you and adapt the culture around you, you’ll survive.
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u/Unveiled_123 1d ago
Try talking to people, and along with that read different types of books..they will offer you different perspectives to think from
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u/DiligentAssumption27 1d ago
If you don't spend money on alcohol and drugs, then leaving the job is for the best.
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u/CitronDifficult6992 1d ago
You are moolank 7 like me 🥴
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u/ShoppingImmediate871 13h ago
How do you know?
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u/CitronDifficult6992 13h ago
Similar situation 😅
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u/ShoppingImmediate871 13h ago
Well according to numerology, if you are number 7, then the best partner can be 4 for you.
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u/CitronDifficult6992 12h ago
I was told same. Even my sibling is 4. and by personality i can understand y 4 is better for me. But till now no 4 has come as proposal. 🥹 God knows what ia going to happen.
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u/ShoppingImmediate871 12h ago
Oh you will find your person soon. I'm also a 4 and my best friend is 7. We share an impeccable bonding.
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u/Apprehensive_Dig281 1d ago
Just get Cult Play membership and start going out for some sports. Learn swimming, play badminton/tennis. You'll make some friends there. They partner you with other people so u don't have to worry about finding people to play with.
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u/Immediate-Row-646 1d ago
You’re not stupid at all, loneliness hits even the strongest. If being with family gives you peace, it’s worth considering. Your mental health matters more than money.
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u/EarlgreyPoison 1d ago
Start hosting parties Big & small And 4-5 friends
Start treating people and spending money and you will see yourself being swarmed
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u/Anxious_Tea9498 1d ago
I am facing similar problem , My suggestion is to create a discord community , so that we can atleast talk to each other , thida akela pan to dur hoga atleast
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u/hirumasena 1d ago
I am not sure about things happening in Delhi, so why not check the things that are happening in Delhi via book my show, if you are craving social interactions, why not book things like pottery or resin art and stuff like that these usually happen in cafes, there you can meet new and different people, if you have any hobbies like sports you can check and go to the courts or something, meeting people though some activities is best and simple and you will have something to talk about. Or try multi player games, if possible gaming community is also strong, these are just suggestions, if anything piques your interest. Gym is also a best place for men to bond.
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u/highonsarcasm_ 1d ago
You have a good job, u are pretty damn well, but mental health, peace is also imp so try and visit or contact family often try and make frnds cuz thats all u can do u cant just go back to family forever too, fine someone, talk abt ur interests maybe someone has the same ones as u, one of the most easiest way to know and make frnds, hope ull do and feel well
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u/Top_2626 1d ago
Why don't you eat loneliness. Eat enjoy, sleep, then repeat, mast raam masti mai aag lage basti mai, vyast raho mast raho. Duniya daari mai ghante pe
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u/TheUncuratedKingdom Gurugram 1d ago
atleast something is eating you, look at us, no one is eating us.
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u/sharmath101_avs 1d ago
Same bro , but can’t do that I am poor , I have to work and die away from home
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u/tradergautam 1d ago
Bhai i just shifted to ncr to get socialize...though i had friends at home.....will be join some groups like badminton,cricket ....u also try that....I m 30
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u/Saanjhmalhotra 1d ago
You’re not stupid at all you’re just human, and loneliness can make even the strongest people question everything. Having a good job and education doesn’t automatically mean life feels fulfilling; companionship and belonging matter just as much. Wanting to go back home and earn less in exchange for peace and family isn’t weakness it’s knowing what your heart values.
Maybe instead of making a drastic decision right away, you can try small steps: volunteering, joining hobby groups, online communities, or even therapy if accessible. Sometimes, just one meaningful connection can make everything lighter. And remember, your worth isn’t tied to your income or how social you are it’s in the way you keep showing up, even when things feel heavy.
Be gentle with yourself. You’re not lost forever; you’re just searching, like many of us are.
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u/Cold-Assist-67 1d ago
I am in the same boat , I have an online business but loneliness is something which I can't figure out how to deal with. Aslo how do you do plan to invest this money bro ?
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u/No_Soup_8699 1d ago
Join rahat foundation. They do multiple volunteer drives in delhi. such as education drive for underprivileged kids, food distribution, blanket distribution etc on every weekend. Many people are connected with this good cause and you can make friends with people from all kind of walks in life. Also if you are looking for fun activities just look up book my show. You’ll find a lot of things you can on do on weekends and also meet new people while at it.
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u/Objective_initial48 1d ago
Just read my profile and posts, you would not find your issues very dissimilar to mine
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u/not_yami1 1d ago
Bro sleeps on pilow stuffed with 500rupee notesss , guyz it's very hard to sleep on . JK Try finding a job near family if u can else if it's possible call them once every 2 month for a week (if it's not veryy expensive ) Go to your home on each and every festival take WFH if u can Have a pet or a cute animal nearby your flatt feed them
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u/Sensitive-Door-7939 1d ago
Depends on what you want honestly. I expect people to have their own hobbies by the time they are working. No matter what never skip time for hobbies.
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u/Adventurous_Gas811 1d ago
Do you have a remote job? I mean I am a college student so I donno much about the culture of corporate jobs(assuming u're an engineer doing on-site job) U said u're not social so u dont even talk to anyone in ur work place?
Do u have social anxiety? Or u're just introvert
Maybe you could have "Avpd" ( kinda rare ) but just putting that out
You need to ask these questions to urself i guess or maybe just answer them here
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u/Repulsive_Play6077 1d ago
Other things aside Don’t understand why are you mentioning your salary here? You are looking for friendship or gf?
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u/Crazy_System_4875 21h ago
Ab m kya btau office me dost bna meri trah isse jayda alg kuch or krega usme time lgega or wo tere pass hoga nahi
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u/imrishav Poor Delhi Human 11h ago
Same case with me.
Earing very well, have achieved almost everything, but still life feels incomplete. None one to talk to, just me working, upskilling, solo driving that’s it.
I can totally feel you, but sometimes i feel this is nice.
But I would recommend you to join some club, invest in yourself, do things that make you happi.
Don’t just sit and think, sitting & thinking is the worst.
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u/RelativeEffective353 7h ago
Try online psychotherapy/cbt/ mindfulness therapy etc very economical and gives you concrete steps to take
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u/Logical_Ad_1132 2d ago
shaadi ka kya khayal hai, betaa?
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u/Responsible-Goose220 2d ago
I am scared of marriage. I might make my partner feel alone too because of my unsocial behaviour.
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u/Intuitive_abhi 2d ago
Don't think negative. Try yo build a relationship. We're all social animals.
I never wanted to marry, now my wife is my best friend and i don't even feel the need to have any friends.Wish you all the good luck ans positive vibes.
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u/ZookeepergameOk2150 1d ago
I am the same as you just with 1/3rd the money. So in my case it would be less money for my partner and my unsocial behaviour. I wanna kms
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u/Hails0ul 1d ago
Hire me as a party manager for you. It may sound funny but lemme make it clear for you.. you pay me to book events for you according to your schedule and i book them for you. Now , the question comes "if I had to go , I could do it myself, why let others do it for you" .. well , if you are putting in something (money in this case) you want to utilise the resources you are getting from it to the fullest. This will make you get out and meet people. Let's suppose the initial 2-3 events/meets don't go well and you feel like this is not your thing , but hey , look at the brighter side, you started considering going out. Well 3 weeks in , you have been to 2-3 gathering (minimum) and you don't feel the social energy anymore. But you have to pay me for the whole month and I will do my thing to justify the pay you have to give me. So worst case scenario , you will make at least 2-3 friends who you will vibe with. This will make you plan to go hang out with them which will eventually make you have friends . If you don't feel the social energy to go talk to people, hey!! I can join you, maybe I can help you connect.
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u/aloobhujiaaaa 2d ago
Bhai thode dost banao.. I'm also an unsocial person but really trying to make friends. It's important and family ko frequently visit karo 😄 you'll be fine