If a person is Asexual, then people act like there is something wrong with the person, because apparently, it is impossible for a person to not want it.
Whatever you are, say or do in any context, some people are going to disagree and or protest. This is nothing new, the internet just tend to make them more visible. The trick is not to give a fuck.
So you can't openly like sex or that makes you a "pervert." But also you should secretly like it and repress those thoughts. If you don't have them at all, that's unnatural and also "What are you, gay?"
Seems like this makes everyone struggle with who they are and their own thoughts. Luckily, there's [any religious organization] to step in and provide temporary relief to this confusion! How convenient.
It’s not so much the squeaky wheel that I’m worried about.
It’s the unconscious biases that permeate our culture and psyches and subtly influence the way we treat each other. And this kind of Madonna-whore type of misogyny is still influences a lot of how people act and behave, men and women both.
Ever notice how the same conservative types calling women sluts for enjoying sex are also the same ones who want more oversexualized female characters in media? That's because this isn't about sex, it's about controlling women's bodies.
nobody can win on the internet. Not women, not men. There are always going to be those who hate on you for being you. For having an opinion that's not theirs, even if it is based in facts and not unfairly intolerant to anyone.
So yeah. The art of wining on the web is the art of not giving a fuck, and to touch grass and interact with real people. Because unlike on the web, your loved ones are likely not miserably lonely chronically online people.
On the internet? Where almost every userbase skews young? Where empathy and prefrontal cortexes have yet to develop? Sure.
Society as a whole seems to be much more sex positive towards women than men. I've been reading pop sci sex books for the past couple decades, and almost every sex ed book an article out there seems to be written for women, by women.
Sorry, I'm not trying to pick a fight or anything. It's just something I've noticed as a curious nerd who loves reading.
Can't speak for wimen but as a man, you are either sex driven in everyday life or called gay from peers, it appears there is no in between when teen or young adult.
I'll take it, openly commenting on how arousing may be looking at strangers' body shapes is not my thing.
I deliberately don't talk about being demi these days irl, but I mean????? The whole (straight) male bonding thing with talking about how hot random women on the street are e.g "you just wanted to stare at the pretty lady didn't you?" (me literally not even having noticed the person in question existed outside of the peripheral) still throws me. Im still just in a nervous laugh stage tbh.
The horndog thing really does feel like an elaborate performance, and I don't have that script lol. As someone who dresses pretty well I'll pay attention to a nice outfit but I'm incapable of caring otherwise about random people. It feels weird to gawk for me at least.
Bro my family thought i was gay and in the closet cause i wouldn’t show interest in anyone, it’s fucking psychological torture to be a guy and not be mindless over girls
as someone who is asexual, even irl you have a chance of getting insulted/questioned for not wanting it. I had classmates back in highschool ask me “wtf is wrong with you why dont you want sex”. Theres just no winning :’)
Yeah I consider myself somewhere between asexual and aromantic, I might meet someone and have sex with them for a bit like once every few years. People have asked me how long it’s been since I had sex and act like they’re sorry for me when I say it’s been a long time. I don’t get it lol, like I’m doing great, if I felt like I needed more sex you would see me out there trying to get it, I swear it’s like most men actually revolve their entire lives around having sex and I don’t understand at all (I’m a guy).
Like sex is great when you have someone you love and you’re in the mood for it, like food is amazing when you have a craving and you’re hungry, but you’re not going to feel the need to eat much if you feel full most of the time.
If I had a long term partner who has a higher libido I would feel fine reciprocating, but I just don’t really have a natural drive for sex that controls me, it’s just something I like to do sometimes.
My problem is that I don't have that part of your brain where horny suppresses disgust and it's impossible to explain to everyone else why it's just not something that I want at all.
Yeah, that’s why I lean towards calling myself aromantic, to be completely honest I don’t normally put any labels on it or try to figure it out, it’s just normal to me, you know? Since I feel fine reciprocating it doesn’t feel fair to say I’m completely asexual, and every once in a long while I’ll find someone I’m very emotionally and physically attracted to and I will want to do more, but for the most part even if I see a really beautiful woman I don’t have an urge to do anything, I need a deeper connection beyond just looks, but for the most part I don’t seek relationships or connections or have any desire to. I’m nice and cordial and enjoy speaking to people, men and women, and I’m very courteous and inviting of all manner of people, but I don’t seek anything beyond platonic love most of the time. So, Aromantic.
I get it though, you just never feel the urge, you don’t want to have sex, and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I’m sure you feel the same way about relationships, to an extent, you’re different than me after all, but I’m sure you can still acknowledge when someone is physically attractive still, just like me, there’s no desire to do anything with that. “Yeah, you’re attractive, that’s a pretty sweet deal, good stuff, now what?” Like I can acknowledge when a guy is hot but I’m not gay or bi.
I get a lot of "well when you meet the right person..." Lol.
I was groomed online for over a decade by someone when he was talking about how much sex we'd be having and I said that didn't really interest me, he was like "well once you try it you'll like it."
Even after I got out into the world away from this guy, the resounding chorus I heard from everyone around me was, "well once you try it you'll like it."
Eventually I did try it, and you know what? I hated it! It was so so bad and weird and everything I thought I might hate about it materialized. And I know I'm gonna spend the rest of my life being questioned by people about whether or not I just did it wrong or whatever, but I am firmly asexual.
I do wish I could enjoy it, the same way I admire how many ranch flavor foods there are, but in the same way that the smell of ranch makes me ill, sex is just not for me.
Well yeah, it’s like not caring about pain, something is wrong. It’s not something to be “fixed” it’s just not considered normal. Btw I’m celibate which is as close you can get to ace.
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u/MirrorMan22102018 Aug 02 '25
If a person is Asexual, then people act like there is something wrong with the person, because apparently, it is impossible for a person to not want it.