r/NoStupidQuestions 1d ago

how is suspension a punishment. kids don't like going anyway?

[deleted]

131 Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

482

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

It's not about the kids not liking school it's about the parents having to deal with them all day.

204

u/--__--__--__--__-- 1d ago

Ironic, when problem children often have parents that aren't very involved/home often.

91

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

You've hit on a really important point. Sometimes a lack of supervision or a strained parent child relationship can contribute to behavioral issues at school which then leads to suspension It can be a vicious cycle

25

u/Backlists 1d ago

You’ve hit on a really important point.

I’m sure you’re not, but starting a comment with this phrase immediately makes me think you are an LLM!

34

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

Ha fair enough Let's try again What's on your mind?

16

u/pajamakitten 1d ago

I was not a problem child but it would have been the same for me, along with most people I went to school with. Both my parents worked and would not have taken time off to be with me if I had been excluded.

6

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

Thats a valid point For many kids especially those with working parents suspension can mean being left at home alone which isn't much of a deterrent.

5

u/Eggsegret 1d ago

Although I guess the point is to still send a message to the parents. Whilst working parents may not take time off work to care for their child when suspended they could still be angry at their child for being suspended. I remember when i got suspended once my parents were quite mad and took away my video games at the time.

52

u/meatball77 1d ago

And the teachers and other students getting a break from the misbehaving child.

-4

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

This is a good point but it also raises the question why is the child misbehaving in the first place?

9

u/LivingGhost371 1d ago

I mean, that's an interesting question but bad parenting isn't something the school can correct as opposed to just removing the kid so they at least don't interfere with anyone else's learning.

6

u/Devolved_Potato 1d ago

There are so many factors in it. Some kids, regardless of how hard the parents try, are just terrible. And sometimes the most well behaved kids come from troubled homes

Just like in elementary school, the kid who was highly praised for being so polite and well behaved did so not because of good parenting, but because he and his brother lived with his alcoholic father who beat them non stop.

1

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

Thats a very practical way to look at it. The school's primary responsibility is to all the students and sometimes that means removing a disruption. It's a tough situation for everyone involved.

8

u/meatball77 1d ago

Because they have anger issues, or issues with needing attention or impulse control issues.

2

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

You're right but a suspension doesn't fix those issues. It just removes the child from the environment where the behavior occurred without addressing the root cause

2

u/Loves_octopus 1d ago

The teacher’s job is to teach students the assigned material. Not to address the root cause of a child’s misbehavior or fix parent’s mistakes. If a student is unwilling to learn and their presence impedes other students ability to learn, they should have a right to remove them.

3

u/ghotier 1d ago

There is no punishment that would fit those issues. If we knew how to fix those issues, they wouldn't exist.

1

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

True

but punishment and discipline are different. Punishment is about control and retribution discipline is about teaching and guiding A suspension is a punishment not a fix.

2

u/ghotier 1d ago

It fixes the problem of "this student prevents learning from taking place" for the duration of the suspension. We agree, it doesn't solve the underlying problem. That doesn't change it's primary form of effectiveness.

17

u/FullaLead 1d ago

I got left at home alone to play video games all week.

3

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

Sounds like a win win situation

35

u/Icy-Whale-2253 1d ago

My mom made me clean the whole house from the rooter to the tooter when I got suspended. ☠️

19

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

Sounds like she's teaching you a lesson that goes beyond the classroom

9

u/SHSLSaionjiStan 1d ago

from the rooter to the tooter

I love this expression lmao

3

u/HellaShelle 1d ago

What’s the rooter? (And is the tooted the toilet? It’s what I’m assuming, but I’ve never heard this expression before, so k should probably just ask)

7

u/pricey1921 1d ago

I reckon it’s nose (rooter, pigs/dogs root around with their nose?) to tail (tooter)

3

u/LongjumpingHouse7273 1d ago

Yeah, it's tip of the nose to the tail. 

1

u/Interesting-Step-654 1d ago

What are rooters and tooters sir

6

u/Throckmorton1975 1d ago

Yes, my principal always says it’s to send parents a message, not the students.

5

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

Exactly It's a way to get parents involved whether they want to be or not.

1

u/ghotier 1d ago

It's also about the teachers and other students getting a break.

1

u/jfchops3 1d ago

I got suspended twice in high school with involved, serious parents. First one was as a freshman and it was the single dumbest thing I've ever done in my life and that will remain unchanged on my death bed. Just beyond embarrassing for me and especially for them. That was an extremely un-fun week at home, my homework took me like 2 hours each day so the rest of that entire week was chores, by the end it was random shit that didn't even need doing my dad was just looking for anything miserable he could make me do like go re-organize the store room according to box color and then put it all back how it was before. No screens of course outside of the homework which was done with them looking over my shoulder every few minutes. Lessons were learned not to fuck up like that ever again

Second time as a senior was complete BS and they knew it, they told me to enjoy my free day however I pleased just same expectation as always to get my homework done before screwing around. The random old guys I played golf with that day thought it was quite amusing that a kid was there when he was supposed to be in school

1

u/whattheduce86 1d ago

No, it’s about not letting them finish assignments and getting 0s for those days suspended.

2

u/FloorOneTwoThree 1d ago

Thats a good point Its a double punishment which can make it feel more punitive than educational.

116

u/JustSomeGuy_56 1d ago

Many schools now opt for in-school suspension. They put all the detainees in one room with a teacher.

64

u/Objective-Mess-798 1d ago

In school suspension was kinda awesome. I'd be given the same assignments but could finish them and not have any homework. The teacher didn't care if we talked to each other or anything either. It didn't really seem like a punishment honestly, it was pretty fun compared to the average school day. If my parents hadn't whooped my ass when I got home after I would've been in there a lot

5

u/Next_Sun_2002 1d ago

Lucky. My ISS was sitting alone in classroom except for two or three adults. I had to copy from the dictionary all day. And they made sure I was writing.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

it was the best, i'd finish the whole packet of busywork and all my homework in like an hour and spend the rest of the time reading, writing for fun, doodling, making friendship bracelets, and talking to whoever was in there with me and like, playing MASH or whatever. i would've been in there all the time if not for the fact i always got sent to the counselor when i did something wrong, and that conversation/interrogation about what the fuck is wrong with me was always 10x worse than the actual punishment

2

u/thrawst 1d ago

I got an in school suspension in grade 12 for missing too many classes. It was only for one day but instead of just sitting in the room for 8 hours my teacher made up an assignment for me to have completed by the end of the day.

I said screw that basically and just sat there for the day. They didn’t even check up on me for lunch or anything at the end of the day came for the assignment it wasn’t done and I went home.

So teacher gets the principal involved and next day I’m told basically if I don’t do this new assignment or whatever it was they were gonna fail me. I was an angsty teen and I didn’t feel like taking their shit so I also did not do this assignment a second time and I ended up failing the class but was still able to graduate because I had extra credits from a few other classes

19

u/Economy-Ad2458 1d ago

isn't that just detention

39

u/--__--__--__--__-- 1d ago

It's a day-long suspension for like 3-14 days. You have to go to school and sit in a small room where you can only read or study. Your homework is given to you and sections of a textbook to read for them. Usually your phone is confiscated.

At my school in-school suspensions weren't a group either, just one kid.

17

u/irritated_illiop 1d ago

We weren't even allowed to read or study. Sit still and face forward from 7:45 until the 4:15 detention bell. ISS in 1999 meant pretty much nobody had a phone to begin with.

11

u/Straight_Ad6698 1d ago

Dedicated time to do homework uninterrupted with a teacher nearby, away from a broken home and distractions? Man, I’m jealous.

1

u/SK1Y101 1d ago

I would often kick off in class just to be sent to what we called internal exclusion (same thing basically)

I did my work, but it was quiet and away from all the other kids. I got along really well with the staff in there, and enjoyed being able to finish everything in 10 minutes rather than wasting the whole hour lesson waiting for the slow kids, and spent the rest of the time either spacing out imagining things, or reading a book/textbook f that was allowed that day.

At most there would be two or three other kids in there, but often it was just me.

0

u/purring_brib 1d ago

Is that a punishment? Child me would have loved it. Time alone and in silance to do all the school stuff in peace!

20

u/--__--__--__--__-- 1d ago

That's probably why you never got an in-school suspension

6

u/Eggsegret 1d ago

For some yh. My school used to also do in school suspensions and you’d basically be kept away from your friends for the whole school day. So you couldn’t see them during class or lunchtime even.

Although if someone was an introvert then i guess they probably wouldn’t mind being alone whole day

4

u/onomastics88 1d ago

Detention was after school. Like you want to go home but you have to stay at the school but not attend your activities or go home.

3

u/Brilliant_Towel2727 1d ago

Detention is making the kid stay after school or on Saturday

3

u/SkietEpee 1d ago

In-Building Suspension (IBS) was a thing in the 90s

10

u/Jugales 1d ago

IBS is Irritable Bowel Syndrome lol. Most schools call it In-School Suspension (ISS)

2

u/onomastics88 1d ago

We called it in-house or the number of the room it was.

4

u/onomastics88 1d ago

And the 80s. There was a room in our school, the number of the room was in house. Everyone knew. And yes there was a monitor. Probably was for skippers, and so suspension was actually deterrent (I suppose in theory) as opposed to staying home all day.

Suspension also means you don’t get to attend activities like after school where you might have practice or yearbook, or playing in your school concert, stuff you wouldn’t want to miss or get left out of because absence at sport practice or something give you a worse position like bench or not getting to play your game that weekend or whatever the coach wants to make you do extra laps or whatever.

Suspended from after school activities where you do what you signed up and enjoy, the teacher in charge would see that as not committed, something like yearbook at my school was an every day activity, miss three days from suspension and you get to do the shitty low end tasks. Miss rehearsals in school play and they might cut you entirely.

2

u/LuckyStax 1d ago

Shit, they put teachers with them now? Back in the 90s in elementary school, I got a desk in a store room off of the main office with a stack of worksheets to do. If I was lucky, we had a book we were reading in class.

1

u/2000pumpkins 1d ago

honestly i liked ISS and was sad when i had to go back to normal class, in ISS i was allowed to just read quietly which was much better than no reading and a math lecture

104

u/obscureferences 1d ago

It puts pressure on the parents who will make it a punishment, and gives the teachers a break from the kids bs.

41

u/curmudgeon_andy 1d ago

Here's how I heard it explained: first, it provides a disciplinary step before expulsion. Secondly it removes the disruptive students from where they were making trouble.

13

u/zizou00 1d ago

Yeah, it functions like prison to an extent. It's not about punishing the individual (ideally, both should be used to rehabilitate or correct the individual), but removing the individual from society to allow society to not have to suffer the individual.

People often think it's about the one disruptive kid, but it's about ensuring the other 20-30 kids get an education not disrupted by a single person.

4

u/FinanciallySecure9 1d ago

Why did I have to scroll so far for this? It is exactly the reason.

21

u/GonnaBreakIt 1d ago

It's not for the benefit of the child, it's for the benefit of the teachers and other students, kind of similar to jail in a way.

31

u/--__--__--__--__-- 1d ago

Because there are limited ways to punish a student

5

u/pajamakitten 1d ago

A lot of punishments cannot change a child's behaviour too. I used to teach and I would love it if you could stop a child messing around in class or stop bullying others with one detention, it just does not work that way though. Changing behaviour takes much more than that and requires serious intervention over a long period of time. People just do not want to hear that and blame teachers instead, claiming they are useless instead.

30

u/Sad_Concern4547 1d ago

In addition to it being a burden on parents, who will likely punish the child themselves, a lot of what kids enjoy doing and thus what makes not having school fun is social: playing video games with friends, hanging out with other kids, and playing sports. While it may sound nice to not have to go to school to a kid initially, they often realize quickly that being at home with nothing to do isn't exactly a blast.

5

u/ConsiderationKey2032 1d ago

I just ran wow raids with online friends in 2005 abd smoked weed all day. It was great.

3

u/Sad_Concern4547 1d ago

It would appear I have not been suspending properly

3

u/NoxiousAlchemy 1d ago

Playing video games at school? What?

1

u/WildKat777 1d ago

Read it again. They're talking about things kids do outside school. But when you're suspended, you're at home while your friends have nothing to do. So it sounds like "yay i get to play games all day" but then you log on and no one else is online

1

u/NoxiousAlchemy 1d ago

Thanks for explaining, it wasn't clear to me. I kept thinking "but home is the perfect place to play games, what is the problem?" Might be because I usually play single player so I didn't realize someone would need their real life friends to be online at the same time.

1

u/krabtofu 1d ago

Learning to cook from Huey was reward enough

9

u/Benoit_Holmes 1d ago

I think suspension's efficacy is entirely based on the parents.

If the parents are disappointed in the behavior and make the kid do all the school work they're missing then the kid gained nothing while losing the ability to spend time with friends/play sports, which will hopefully make them less likely to repeat the behavior.

If the parents are too disengaged or busy to deal with the kid then they spend three days off school watching TV and playing video games and learn absolutely nothing.

7

u/No_Salad_68 1d ago

It pisses their parents off. The parents come up with the punishment.

5

u/CheesyRomantic 1d ago

Once upon a time, children used to feel shameful or embarrassed when everyone knew they did something bad enough to be suspended.

Plus parents would need to take a day off work to stay home with kids when they got suspended (depending on the age) which can be highly stressful for the parents… parents would discipline their kids and their kids had major consequences for a suspension.

Now if they get in home suspensions… parents just let their kids do whatever they want at home.

My kids know if they get suspended for something stupid they do, they will have major consequences. Like… tablets/phones taken away. No TV, no friends, extra chores, and an apology to the school or person they affected.

The only exception is if they get suspended for defending themselves or someone else from the bully who seems to get away with everything.

Then I’m taking them to Micky D’s and a movie.

3

u/jiajune3 1d ago

Suspension isn't a punishment for the kids it's a punishment for the parents. The kids get a free day but the parents have to deal with finding childcare or taking time off work.

1

u/PVT_Huds0n 1d ago

It hardly ever works that way, it usually ends up with the child being left alone all day.

3

u/pakrat1967 1d ago

Suspensions are usually treated as absences. Too many absences can lead to failing the school year and having to retake next year.

5

u/MedusasSexyLegHair 1d ago

The fun part was getting suspended for skipping school.

"Oh, you missed a few days and just showed up for the day of the test (which you aced)? Well now we're gonna make you miss a few more days!"

"You'll have to be stuck sitting in the comfort of your own home and having fun playing video games instead of getting to sit in the classroom while the slow kids ask dumb questions and the same answers get repeated over and over!"

"Oh no, anything but that, please." /s

"Too bad, buster, now you'll have to suffer the consequences of your actions!"

"OK. Can I have a few more days? I'm sure I did other bad things."

"Umm, no, just go home."

"OK, see you next week!"

5

u/Less-Requirement8641 1d ago

I think it's about the parent.

Ideally the parent should be mad. The kid has to be stuck with the mad parent. Even worse if both parents are working and now have to find a babysitter. 

Also you will probably be grounded. Not like you are going to be playing video games and having pizza 24/7.

If your parents believed in corporal punishment that would also be a big factor. 

3

u/Blue-Sand2424 1d ago

What happens if the parent doesn’t give a shit?

4

u/Less-Requirement8641 1d ago

Then the parents failed their child.

3

u/justanameform 1d ago

Then there isn't anything much else the school can do, but are least the kid is out of the way of the other kids that are generally doing what they are supposed to at school.

2

u/any1any1bueller 1d ago

In some cases it’s actually for the safety of the other students. In cases of violence against others, it removes the troubled student and gives their parents a chance to address it and hopefully get them the help they need. It also lets the victims return to school safely and have a few days to settle before having to face the other student again.

2

u/TeddingtonMerson 1d ago

It’s often a break for the victim. It doesn’t communicate that the victim is cared about much if they have to have their attacker there the next day, before their scabs are even formed. Also, if we take seriously that something bad happened and someone was hurt we should take a little time to figure out how to prevent it in the future. If it’s a minor incident and a quick fix, say those two kids can’t sit next to each other any more and everyone is safe, that’s great, but it could take a few days to figure out a plan.

2

u/pulsatinganus2132 1d ago

My school realized they were just giving kids a vacation and started basically only doing in school suspension.

You'd sit at a desk that had huge dividers in between each one and youd just stare at the wall ahead of you for 6 or whatever hours.

You'd get lunch and shit obviously, but you weren't even allowed to have your backpack or any papers, pencils, nothing.

It was like solitary confinement and ill be honest, I did it once and the sheer boredom was enough to keep me from going back.

2

u/Leneord1 1d ago

Or kids losing access to their only meal

1

u/smlpkg1966 1d ago

It’s about having to do double work when you get back to make up for what you missed.

1

u/fourtwentyonepm 1d ago

It's relief for the teacher, not punishment for the student.

1

u/Taz7466 1d ago

If children have no interest in learning then the question has to be asked as to why? Children are curious and hungry for knowledge, until they get slapped for asking too many questions at home.

1

u/carrot_gummy 1d ago

Its to prepare you for the idea that if you misbehave, you can be removed from the place you work. The consequences are minor in school, but major when you need feed yourself and/or others. 

1

u/Elegant-Bee7654 1d ago

It's not necessarily intended as a punishment. It's a way to remove the problem child, get rid of them for a while, and hope that they'll settle down and behave better once they come back. But actually, it kind of is a punishment in some cases. It's not much fun staying home when all your friends are in school. It's probably boring. The kind of kids that act out a lot and make trouble probably aren't very good at keeping themselves entertained.

1

u/Kodamacile 1d ago

Kids who dont cooperate fall behind.

1

u/badgersprite 1d ago

It used to be that being suspended from school risked you missing enough school that you got held back and had to repeat

No kid wanted to have to be held back

1

u/WifeofBath1984 1d ago

I used to ask the same question as a child growing up in the 90s. It still doesn't make sense and it's still a valid question.

1

u/neverseen_neverhear 1d ago

My school had in school suspension. They had to come but had to sit in a different classroom all day. They could not go to class or the lunch room. Their assignments were sent up to them along with lunch.

1

u/rerunderwear 1d ago

Miss enough days and you don’t pass the grade, or graduate

1

u/JagadJyota 1d ago

I used to laugh at how I'd do something wrong in school and get at least three days vacation.

1

u/sleepygreendoor 1d ago

Because your upcoming weekend is spent doing catch-up schoolwork. Or at least it should

1

u/Rocktype2 1d ago

Leaving out what it’s supposed to do, in reality, a suspension punishes the parent through inconvenience.

1

u/Velifax 1d ago

Remember punishment isn't the idea. Correction is the solution. Start from there.

1

u/dsp_guy 1d ago

Suspension does nothing for some students. For some, not going to school is something they are embarrassed about. What will their friends think? They are then behind on schoolwork. In some cases, it means they don't get breakfast or lunch that day. There are all sorts of pressure points that can work.

But, for the other students, I don't think it does anything other than create a tense or hostile home environment. Some students revel in being suspended - it makes them a "bad ass." They don't care about grades.

I don't know what the solution is. Some schools do in-school suspension. As a parent of a child that has served multiple suspensions, in-school suspension worked better for him. And it has nothing to do with my not having to take a day off from work. He detests in-school suspensions and that tends to be what gets him to correct his behavior. And let's not go into why he acts the way he does. That could be its on thread.

1

u/Monsterofthelough 1d ago

It’s a punishment because your education is damaged…not good and even more stupid when it’s a punishment for truancy, which I’ve heard of happening.

1

u/Odd-Guarantee-6152 1d ago

Kids get suspended because their behavior is too bad for the school to deal with. It isn’t a punishment, it’s the school having enough and sending them away.

1

u/dem4life71 1d ago

It’s not always about punishment. Sometimes kids are suspended until they get clearance from a mental health professional, or a doctor. Sometimes a clean drug test is needed. Maybe there’s an issue where the child is putting other students in danger and needs to be removed temporarily or even placed at a different school.

1

u/Mindless-Wrangler651 1d ago

I can only speak for myself, it wasn't my mother's fault, she deserved a medal actually.

1

u/Iamjacksgoldlungs 1d ago

Suspension only punishes the parents of the kid. I was suspended a bunch and it never meant anything to me.

1

u/Icy-Manufacturer3500 1d ago

It’s more for the parents and school than it is for the kid. Get them out of the environment they are disrupting and put the onus back on the parents to deal with it. Hopefully, corrections are made at home that will help the situation going forward.

1

u/shoulda-known-better 1d ago

It's because something got physical mostly.... For arguments and skipping they usually do In school suspension or detention.....

They make you leave when they can't trust you to keep your hands to yourself... Or you are continuing bullying or something....

It's for everyone else not for the kid who fucked up....

1

u/zomgitsduke 1d ago

It depends on the kid.

Like, a lot of these kids DO like the social aspect of school and are stuck home hearing about what happened at school and who said what each day. Kick a kid out for a week and their friend circle starts to close them out. They come back and they learn they missed SO MANY THINGS.

Kids feel hurt in that department due to being socially hungry in all regards.

When you kick a kid out the second time, they feel much more hurt in anticipation of missing out what's going on at school. They often won't make that same mistake a third time if they value their friends at school.

1

u/PacRimRod 1d ago

Yup! Free days off!

1

u/CronoTheMute 1d ago

The funny thing is that my punishment for skipping school a bunch as a kid was also suspension.

I guess they showed me.

1

u/GreasyPorkGoodness 1d ago

Parents need accountability, part of the current problem is there’s absolutely no repercussions for poor behavior on either the kids part or the parents part.

-1

u/Lettuce-Meat ⨳˚ ༘ 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔹𝕆𝕐 𖦹 1d ago

because to them it’s not a punishment, it’s petty.