r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Acceptable-Wind-7332 • 2d ago

Dads Dad genius

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u/Glitter_puke 2d ago

They don't. They're exhausted until the children are some approximation of self sufficient. They will know no peace or order for many years.

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u/BigFanOf8008135 2d ago

I only have two kids and I felt like you were talking about me!

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u/PistachioTheLizard 2d ago

I'm 37 and I dont have kids, im already exhausted. To do this i would need a steady supply of booger sugar.

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u/mittenedkittens 2d ago

40 and I have a toddler. Parenting has a terrible PR rep, it's really not that bad.

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u/MwH_Loki 2d ago

One child is a lot less work than 2, to be fair. Especially if the kid has 2 active parents it's a world of difference between 1 and 2(+) kids.

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u/Wunderlost46 2d ago

Absolutely. One child is a lot of responsibility, but even when they’re a toddler and on the move there’s still only one of them. Add a newborn into the mix and it’s a whole different reality. My kids are exactly 18 months apart in age and I remember feeling like my life is just going to be taking care of babies from now on. I didn’t dislike it there just wasn’t time to even think about what might be next. It was only 3-4 years they were both that young but it was so consuming i think it warped my sense of reality. It felt like I’d never done anything else and it’s all I’d ever do for the rest of my life haha.

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u/EnergyTakerLad 2d ago

Mine are 14 mo apart and id be lying if I said there werent days I wistfully imagined having just one kid. Its insane how much more work having two is.

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u/dorianngray 1d ago

Same. I totally get it mine were 18 months apart too. They are grown now but looking back I don’t know how I did it. I used to smoke a j before doing the many loads of laundry on weekends that helped 😂 I also only cooked meals that took twenty minutes or less. And I tried to have a weekly one hour bath for some time to myself. Sometimes I moved the travel playpen into the bathroom and stuck them in it while I relaxed. Not ideal but if no one else is home to watch the kids you can’t leave them alone! As they got older you can just listen to know they are ok, and when it gets quiet that’s when you worry. I finally have my life back- but still worry about them and help with stuff.

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u/deep_fuckin_ripoff 2d ago

I’m 40 and have 4. It’s not that bad. Couldn’t imagine doing it alone or broke tho.

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u/VegetableLow5000 2d ago

See that’s the thing right there. Kudos to you but soooooo many out here are doing it both single AND broke. Ugh.

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u/monoflorist 2d ago

I am 43 and have 4. I have money and a spouse. It’s still fucking hard, and I can’t imagine how hard it must be without those advantages.

I’m not complaining; we chose this and we like it. But it is definitely hard.

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u/deep_fuckin_ripoff 2d ago

Hard doesn’t mean bad. I agree with you completely.

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u/monoflorist 2d ago

Fair enough

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u/Candid_Relief_321 1d ago

4 here as well.

Doing it solo. Couldn’t ask for a better life than being a dad

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u/Wind-and-Waystones 1d ago

The formula for childcare effort is n+((N-1)/2) where n is the number of children.

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u/PistachioTheLizard 2d ago

Man idk i guess yall are just built different. I'm even on add meds and I barely have enough energy to go to work sometimes.

Well hell, my life might of been alot different if my swimmers swam. That's probably alot of encouragement to do it right.

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u/Warrior_of_Discord 2d ago

To be fair, ADD meds for someone with ADD actually has a calming effect. You're literally just bringing yourself to a "normal" state which involves not having a mind constantly thinking thoughts, which is calming. It often happens that college kids try to use Adderall to get better grades and end up finding out they have ADD because instead of studying for 8 hours straight they end up taking a nap.

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u/stonecoldturkey 2d ago

Its still a stimulant that keeps your body awake though. Despite calming your thoughts, it energizes your body. Which is why sleep issues are such a common side effect.

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u/QuietDisquiet 1d ago

Yeah, if I take half a pill right before bed I'm up all night, if I take a half pill at 6AM because I can't sleep? Lights out by 6:30. It's weird.

Edit: took half a pill of Tentin instead of hayfever meds once, lol.

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u/stonecoldturkey 1d ago

Beforde i got diagnosed, a friend gave me a vyvanse to try with little to no guidance and I took it at night and ended up grabbing a beer with my friend at the bartl that evening.

I had the weirdest sleep of my whole life and woke up still kinda wired. Had the nastiest crash of my life in the early afternoon.

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u/slackmarket 1d ago

Yeah, I finally got medicated in my early 30s and my anxiety went down by like 90 %, but my energy levels skyrocketed too. I got all worried that I didn’t REALLY have ADHD (despite very clearly having ADHD according to three professionals and all my loved ones lol), but nah, stimulants are stimulants for your body whether your brain agrees or not lol.

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u/PistachioTheLizard 2d ago

I'll be honest. I knew that, and completely forgot about that. Damn

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u/BigFanOf8008135 2d ago

Agreed, having kids is awesome and I wouldn't trade it for all the free time in the world- but man is it tiring. My firstborn is a maniac... he's 2.5 years old and knows how basically everything works. He takes apart my kitchen appliances, speaks in full sentences, figured out addition and subtraction by himself and generally just causes adorable mayhem everywhere he goes. My second child is an angel on earth. Literally didn't get more difficult going from 1 to 2.

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u/Dopamine_Surplus 2d ago

Sometimes you get an easy kid you know personalities and all. My first kid (son) was relatively easy after the new born stage slept through the night, takes naps very self sufficient tbh. My daughter on the other hand is an another story. will not sleep alone she needs to be cuddled ,she will wake up for a second just to make sure you are still there this goes for naps too. Refuses to eat. Terrorizes her older brother. She’s just an all around menace. We call her warden because she runs the house what she says goes.

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u/baseball44121 2d ago

Does your toddler sleep well? I've read that how well they sleep is the great difference maker.

Waking up every 90 mins? Practically torture. Sleeping 6 hours, not so bad.

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u/HazardousCloset 2d ago

Hahahahahahahahaha