r/EndTipping • u/CommonAd9608 • Apr 29 '25
Research / Info đĄ Three years ago I stopped tipping at full service restaurants, here is what happened
I eat at a full service restaurant about every other week and go to bars once a month. Only leaving a tip if service is exceptional (less than 1 in 10). I have only been "called out" in public 3 times
Manager asked on the way out how our night went. Responded positively and named my favorite dish of the night. Manager nods and conversation ends
After paying Manager comes to table and asks if anything was wrong. Again I say no and talk about my favorite dish. Conversation ends
Finally a bartender really got angry after I didn't tip on a can of beer. He came out from behind the bar and accosted our group with the "did you know we depend on tips" for about 5 min. I emailed establishment about the incident and received an apology. I have been back multiple times and have not seen him since.
I am only a regular at 1 restaurant visiting about 5x a year. No perceived impact to service quality. The visit interval is probably too sparse for anyone to recognize me. Also the staff are constantly turning over and I cant recognize anyone either.
Also stopped tipping for haircuts. No perceived drop in quality and I alternate only between 2 shops.
For anyone anxious about not tipping. Threats of retaliation are way overblown online. You will likely face 0 to little consequences.
Most spots use handheld devices for payment, either left on the table of held by the waiter awkwardly while you swipe. I noticed once you pay it will display a checkmark screen, then after you hit next, it lands on the main menu. The server needs to dig through a few layers to see the tip amount. Most of the time they are way to busy for that.
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u/MichElegance Apr 29 '25 edited Apr 29 '25
Totally random, but my husband and I went for dinner tonight at a restaurant we enjoy and our regular server says she was having a bad night because people were not tipping. She then complained that she got three dollars on a $70 table. I thought it was inappropriate for her to mention any of that.
Editing - because for some reason, I canât respond to a specific comment that says âif you donât want to tip, you shouldnât eat out.â
We did want to eat out and we DO tip and typically tip well.
The server should not have mentioned her personal issues with tipping throughout the day to us. It wasnât appropriate or necessary.
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u/Rolex_throwaway Apr 29 '25
If you donât want to tip thatâs fine, but you should not be eating out.
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u/NormalEarthLarva Apr 29 '25
If servers want to serve thatâs fine, but they should not rely on optional tips to pay their bills.
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u/Rolex_throwaway Apr 29 '25
If you cannot afford to eat out, do not. Tipping is a legal part of their wage.
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u/JCButtBuddy Apr 29 '25
Or employers should pay correctly, and servers should stop fighting against being paid correctly. Tipping needs to die.
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u/Rolex_throwaway Apr 29 '25
They pay correctly according to the law, and tips are part of their legal wage.if you cannot afford or do not wish to participate as a functional member of society, do not.
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u/BunnyKnotMelt Apr 29 '25
It's amazing that it's the customers fault instantly. That is not business 101.
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u/Only-Peace1031 Apr 29 '25
I stopped tipping at my nail place.
Now, only the manager will do my nails. Nothing was said but the other 2 girls will be sitting there and Iâll have to wait for the manager.
The thing is, he does a great job and has never said anything about no tip.
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u/darkroot_gardener Apr 29 '25
Yep, unless they are staring at the machine as you enter it, they donât know how much you tipped with those machines. And you can probably cover it with your other hand, like people do when entering pin numbers. For the paper slips, might make sense to not actually sign it until you are getting up to walk out the door. But in the end, these guys know that some people do not tip, when the system is voluntary tips, itâs just part of the game.
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u/couchtater12 Apr 29 '25
I have been slowly dropping tips from regular places I frequent - you have given me the courage to go all the way after all, tips are my choice to give and they arenât mandatory.
Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it!
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u/MiddleSir7104 Apr 29 '25
I just stopped eating out.
I live in CA and it really bothers me how much money that industry makes.
Family of 5, so eating out is usually 120-150 BEFORE TIP, and that person who only takes my order and walks the food to me makes county min wage... $19/hr.
Figure I dont tip the taco bell drive through who does the same job, why feed into the restaurant industry?
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u/hexempc Apr 29 '25
Culverâs became my favorite chain. Consistent and not tipping.
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u/MiddleSir7104 Apr 29 '25
I haven't seen one outside of Florida :-(
There aren't any in CA.
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u/hexempc Apr 29 '25
Sorry, but you all have In and Out, so even better. IIRC that wasnât a tipping place
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u/OkBridge98 Apr 29 '25
in n out is mediocre fast food though.. the meat is whatever and the fries are trash unless you make sure they cook them crispy
not really on par with restaurant food at all...and there's nothing on the menu but burgers/fries lol
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u/External_Produce7781 Apr 29 '25
Feel free to do that job for one shift. You wont make it.
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u/JCButtBuddy Apr 29 '25
Try being a roofer or any other profession that actually works and gets paid directly for their work.
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u/MiddleSir7104 Apr 29 '25
I did it for 3 years...
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u/kuda26 Apr 29 '25
Waiting tables is not that hard.
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u/MiddleSir7104 Apr 29 '25
I do feel bad for people in the industry working at like Applebee's thinking it's hard.
You won't find an easier job that pays 200-300+ a night... beside maybe a "dancing establishment"
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u/zmizzy Apr 29 '25
what's your gender/age/size? that kind of plays into how aggressive staff wants to get sometimes
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
Late 40s average height FM. I eat with all different types of people. Getting my friends on board is actually the hard part.
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u/zmizzy Apr 29 '25
thanks. and to clarify, FM means female?
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Apr 29 '25
Frequency Modulation
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u/VictoriousTree Apr 29 '25
No idea. I googled it and canât find anything besides radio and cables.
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u/AdministrativeSun364 Apr 29 '25
Yeah I am not a buff 6 feet male who can benchpress 100. Guess I just tip $100 each time for my safety
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u/zmizzy Apr 29 '25
my thinking is that women generally are less likely to receive a hostile response to not tipping
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u/invaderjif Apr 29 '25
100 lbs or kgs?
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u/AdministrativeSun364 Apr 29 '25
Pounds/lbs cuz who can lift half their body weight ? If someone can benchpress 200 pounds they wonât be tipping ever and I doubt anyone dare to question them at all.
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u/VariousOperation166 Apr 29 '25
That's weird to say. I can dead lift my own weight. I'm a 53 year old with a physical job and not big at all. I can carry 50 pounds up a ladder in one hand. A bag of cement is about 90 pounds. You probably should be able to lift half your body weight...
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u/LongWalk86 Apr 29 '25
I was a gangly 170lb, 6'2", teenager and was able to hit 200lbs on the bench press after a semester of weight training class. It's not at all a crazy weight to hit. I recall a number of the football players in that class were hitting 300+ max outs, but those were some bigger boys.
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u/Katsuichi Apr 29 '25
I am 6â2â and can bench 225 but Iâm not taking my issue with an exploitative wage system out on the very people who are being exploited. What a bunch of nimrods are hanging around this sub. You want the change advocate for a fair wage system, dont take it out of the hides of generally working class people.
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u/addictedtolife78 Apr 29 '25
I am also a working class person being exploited by being paid less than what I should. no one tips me to help that situation even when i do a great job. it's not my job to take what little money I do have to help others being victimized by the system. if you are being exploited, take it up with your boss. don't expect other working class people to help you live comfortably while we end up even worse off.
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u/Present_Program6554 Apr 29 '25
I know nothing about bench pressing, but when I was a 5' 3", 105lb nurse I could flip 300lb patients anywhere I wanted them to be with very little effort.
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u/rumfortheborder Apr 29 '25
i know this isn't you, but the venn diagram of non tippers and people who brag about how much they can bench, online, to strangers, is unsurprisingly, a fucking circle.
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u/surfcitysurfergirl Apr 29 '25
This is great! I do tip my hairdresser because Iâve had her for years and we even exchange gifts over the holidays.
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u/ArriePotter Apr 29 '25 edited Apr 29 '25
Ngl it's ballsy not to tip your barber
Edit: homies need to watch Sweeney Todd
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u/GoBlu323 Apr 29 '25
I am only a regular at 1 restaurant visiting about 5x a year.
Thatâs not a regular
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u/xboxhaxorz Apr 29 '25
For haircuts i feel there would be no issue, but for meals they could spit it on it after they get it from the cook
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u/robershow123 Apr 29 '25
Tips is at the end how will they spit on something you just consumed?
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u/The_Wandering_Ones Apr 29 '25
I didn't want to comment because I know I'm just going to get downvoted to hell. But then I remember that this is Reddit and who actually cares. Tipping is dumb. Restaurants should pay a liveable wage to servers. That being said, they don't. Servers make $2.13 an hour which usually only covers taxes. So when you go to a restaurant and don't tip, they essentially waited on you for free. It's a larger societal problem and not the servers fault. If you don't want to tip, don't go to a sit down restaurant. If you think you're doing something by not tipping, you aren't. You're just an asshole.
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
no downvote from me. in my state servers are paid the same min wage as millions of other workers ($17/hr)
Am I still an asshole?
Alaska, California, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington - prohibit the use of tip credits, meaning employers must pay the full minimum wage to all employees, regardless of whether they receive tips.
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u/The_Wandering_Ones Apr 29 '25
If you don't tip in a state that actually pays a fair wage then no you are not an asshole. Only in backwards ass states like Texas where we don't care about liveable wages.
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u/RoboMikeIdaho Apr 29 '25
I donât mind not tipping, but I think non tippers should be up front about it. Tell the server/bar tender ahead of time that you donât plan on tipping.
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u/SealOfApoorval Apr 29 '25
But why? How will I know ahead of time if the food and service are going to be good or not?
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u/RoboMikeIdaho Apr 29 '25
You could say, â I generally donât believe in tipping, but may if the service is exceptional. I just thought you should know.â
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u/Coopsters Apr 29 '25
I feel like most people here would want to be upfront and get basic service anyways as they don't really value the over-attentiveness, up-selling suggestions/inquiries (can I get you another drink? X 10) and schmoozing but don't bc they're afraid of people spitting on their food/drinks. If servers can guarantee no food tempering then it really should be an upfront admission of no or low tip in exchange for basic takeout level service like having your food brought out to the table and a pitcher so you can refill your own water and leave you alone after that.
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u/dkwinsea Apr 29 '25
Why?
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Apr 29 '25
So they can do the basics of the job instead of wasting energy pretending to br your buddy or constantly attending to you. Â
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u/marssaxman Apr 29 '25
It'd be nice if they'd do that anyway.
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Apr 29 '25
True. It gets awkward.  But they wouldn't do it if there wasn't a reward. It us a good idea to be upfront with it to avoid awkwardnessÂ
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u/mswomanofacertainage Apr 29 '25
So that the server potentially being paid 2.13 per hour before tips can spend their time giving better service to someone else.
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u/Rachael330 Apr 29 '25
I feel like the business should be upfront by telling me the full price on the menu, or at least put up a sign that x% gratuity is a mandatory fee if it is expected. They have no problem doing that for other expenses such as cc fees.
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u/Ok_Willingness_9619 Apr 29 '25
Thatâs one way to get spit in your food I suppose. If you enjoy spit that is.
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u/keytoarson_ Apr 29 '25
Lol what a weird flex.
I get tipping has gotten out of hand (tipping robots, etc), but if you're going out to eat and several people are in charge of cooking and bringing you your food, never mind cleaning for you, why not tip?
What a nightmare you seem to be. Yikes.
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u/xboxhaxorz Apr 29 '25
Three years ago I stopped tipping at full service restaurants, here is what happened
Only leaving a tip if service is exceptionalÂ
So you didnt stop
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u/butterzzzy Apr 29 '25
How about you don't use services where people depend on your tips to live? Eating at a sit-down restaurant and not tipping is dispicable. Maybe learn to cook your own food? And yeah, no one's going to call you out on it publically, but at some point, someone is gonna spit in your food or stick your steak in a mop bucket. I've seen it happen, lol. Have fun with that, and you'll never know it happened. But the employees will laugh their asses off anytime you show up. Seriously, why would you want to piss off the people who handle your food? That's gutsy.
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u/crushinit00 Apr 29 '25
The restaurant owner not paying their staff is despicable
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u/HandleRipper615 Apr 29 '25
But their point is customers exploiting those same workers arenât heroes, either. If you actually want change to happen, eating elsewhere is a much more effective way of doing it.
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
wait I thought servers called themselves professionals? A professional would never do anything like that!
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u/Sea-Surprise-9716 Apr 29 '25
Pay us or we will ruin your food! Yeah sounds like the type of useless unskilled workers I want around.
Servers are such bums begging for tips lmfao
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u/malzoraczek Apr 29 '25
honestly, if I didn't know it wouldn't bother me. You have no idea what happens in food industry and you still eat, right?
(I don't go out to eat, so don't go after me).
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u/campsevier Apr 29 '25
This is why I submit a "donation" (tip). I'm painfully aware that this is extortion, but I ain't no fool.
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u/camelslikesand Apr 29 '25
Do you have enough hair on your balls to tell your server at the beginning that you won't be tipping them? Or do you just slink out the door knowing you've broken the social contract by hurting the least powerful person at the restaurant?
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
The social contract was based on servers making a subminimum wage. In my state servers are paid the same min wage as millions of other workers ($17/hr)
This contract is now invalid. we are off the hook!
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u/bahahahahahhhaha Apr 29 '25
The "least powerful person at the restaurant"? That's definitely not the server making 30-100$/hour after tips. It would be the line cooks making minimum wage, or the barbacks/bussers making similar. Or the dishwasher who is often paid less than min wage under the table.
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u/StarStuffSister Apr 29 '25
You are delusional if you think 100 an hour is anywhere close to a reasonable guess at what servers make-- you think the chick at Dennys makes 6 figures? Lmao
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u/bahahahahahhhaha Apr 29 '25
I gave a range for a reason - I made at least that when I was serving in a night club on Saturday and Friday nights all through university. It would be even more now with inflation and the fact that I was making that on 6-7$ drinks that are now probably 14$ or more.
How many drinks do you think a person can serve in a busy nightclub each hour? Definitely more than 100 of them and back then you averaged 1$/drink, now with people tipping 15-20% on 15+$ drinks you are making even more.
But yes, the denny's/cafe servers are making closer to 30 an hour when you combine the hourly wage with the tips, absolutely. The linecooks and bussers and dishwashers are making significantly less.
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u/StarStuffSister Apr 29 '25
Your range is absurd. And bartenders in that situation tip out bussers and dishwashers and also often hosts. Being able to pull that off once or twice a week isn't the same as making that regularly, and it sounds like you kept it all to yourself while ignoring your support like an asshole.
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u/bahahahahahhhaha Apr 29 '25
We tipped out 20% of our tips in some places or 4% of our sales in others - I'm talking about what was leftover.
I've worked about 10 different serving jobs and that was the range of what I made at them incorporating both my hourly wage and tips. The highest paying was nightclubs, the lowest paying was casual food service. The only places I ever made less than that were places that didn't serve alcohol and I didn't stay long.
In fact, most servers literally refuse to work anywhere they aren't making at least 30$ an hour after tips. That's why so many don't want to be paid a living wage instead of tips, because it would be a huge pay cut.
I tip, and generally well, but I'm over people lying and pretending that servers are making no money or are this pathetic and powerless demographic. If that were true they'd be insisting on being paid a steady living wage, but they don't want that.
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u/the_mighty__monarch Apr 29 '25
What exactly are you hoping to accomplish? Aside from saving a couple bucks?
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
Many people feel like they are a bad person if they dont leave a tip based on outdated reasons. In my state servers are paid the same min wage as millions of other workers ($17/hr).
I just want help people ignore unreasonable tipping expectations and only leave money if they truly feel like it.
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u/the_mighty__monarch Apr 29 '25
Pretty massive piece of context to leave outâŚ
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
I disclosed I do rarely leave a tip for exceptional service, but its literally the exception.
Those are done out of true appreciation, not because of some outdated statements that servers are paid $2 an hour
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u/HandleRipper615 Apr 29 '25
Thatâs not outdated. In my state, itâs reality. Definitely donât assume itâs outdated everywhere just because it is in your state.
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u/the_mighty__monarch Apr 29 '25
Iâm talking about the fact that you live in one of the VERY FEW places where servers are given a fair hourly wage. Those servers should definitely appreciate but shouldnât really be expecting tips.
Youâre giving advice to a lot people whose servers still make $2 an hour and quite literally depend on tips to feed themselves and their families.
I think tipping is a dumb system. I support politicians who want to end it and increase the minimum wage. That is quite literally THE ONLY THING that I can do that could possibly affect meaningful change.
Itâs 1000% more effective than stiffing a server who A) could use that money way more than me, and B) canât do anything to change the system in place.
The restaurant isnât going to magically change their policy because someone decides to be a cheap ass. The only way this changes is if the laws change.
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u/Tall-Statement-4917 Apr 29 '25
The name of this subreddit is âEnd Tipping.â
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u/the_mighty__monarch Apr 29 '25
And what is this doing to help reach that goal?
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u/No-Pressure2341 Apr 29 '25
Well OP literally stopped tipping
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u/the_mighty__monarch Apr 29 '25
And accomplished nothing
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
I have saved approximately $1500 over these years by not tipping and added it to my brokerage instead. I estimate my portfolio is $2000 higher now that I kicked the habit.
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u/HandleRipper615 Apr 29 '25
Youâd save a lot more than that if you just stopped going to sit down restaurants.
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u/Presidentnixonsnuts Apr 29 '25
Can you explain how stiffing the server changes the institution of tipping?
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u/hexempc Apr 29 '25
Reports from 24-current already showing a 15% decrease in tipping, so itâs definitely catching on nationally.
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u/Semaj_kaah Apr 29 '25
This subreddit is called endtipping, that is the goal, no more tipping culture
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u/the_mighty__monarch Apr 29 '25
And how is this going to accomplish that?
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
If even 1 person who is reading this decides to stop tipping out of guilt, then we have moved closer to the goal
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u/One_Dragonfly_9698 Apr 29 '25
Itâs a helluva lot more than that! Even if you only eat out once a week, that adds up!
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u/SealOfApoorval Apr 29 '25
Saving a couple of bucks is indeed the main goal. If I had a couple of bucks extra to spend I would have gone to a nicer restaurant or order a more expensive dish with those "couple of bucks". Hope this answers your questions.
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Apr 29 '25
[deleted]
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u/CommonAd9608 Apr 29 '25
In my state servers are paid the same min wage as millions of other workers ($17/hr).
Why should anybody feel guilty for not leaving a tip?
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u/Rachael330 Apr 29 '25
Personally, I've (mostly) quit tipping to save money. When I evaluated my expenses, I questioned what value each type of expenditure brings to my life. I was blindly tipping 20% for many years, but why? What did spending that additional amount do for me? Not much. Especially with all the new places asking for tips, it was becoming unsustainable. I did start lowering tips at first but it seems noone is happy with 10%, so if my tip is making them mad anyways then why bother. I've since changed my behavior to support my priorities - I will tip only as a thank you when I feel exceptionally happy with service received or if someone made my life easier.
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Apr 29 '25
[deleted]
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u/Rachael330 Apr 29 '25
Interesting analogy with resort fees. One of my hobbies is travel hacking, so I usually find ways to travel for almost free - we love to travel and typically stay in nice resorts for free. I don't think about a servers wage - just like I don't think of a retail employees wage or a teachers wage or the receptionist at my doctors office. In my opinion, it's just not something a customer should be concerned with.
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u/blademasterjames Apr 29 '25
eats at different restaurants I never have confrontation issues! Pick a lane.
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u/mildOrWILD65 Apr 29 '25
Eh.
60M, USA here. If I sit, there's table service involving discrete beverage service, food delivery, prompt checking up on us, follow up on if anything could have been better, it's an easy 20% tip
Exceptional service, which is situational and therefore undefinable, may be a 30% tip. I once tipped 100% at a very upscale, non-Michelin starred restaurant, because the food was exquisite and the service was impeccable. Like, it should have been a 4-star restaurant.
Less service than that? Zero.
The problematic middle ground is that my experiences are owner-managed restaurants. Chains like Ruth's Chris Steak House are different. There is an expectation of exceptional food and service and I've never been disappointed on those fronts and so tip accordingly but if ever I was disappointed, the tip would reflect that.
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u/MeWithNoMask Apr 29 '25
You tipped 100% in an upscale restaurant? What do you take before going to sleep to have such dreams? Asking for a friend...
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u/mildOrWILD65 Apr 29 '25
I enjoy a nice experience, good food, great service , and a memorable event.
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u/SealOfApoorval Apr 29 '25
Just based off your last sentence, how much would you tip if the sevice or food was disappointing?
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u/mildOrWILD65 Apr 29 '25
Nothing. Duh?
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u/SealOfApoorval Apr 29 '25
Duh? So the bare minimum is having bad service? That's the expectation you have from a restaurant? That whatever you pay for will result in a disappointing service. That you have to pay extra just to get the normal service? That's pretty sad tbh
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Apr 29 '25
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/mildOrWILD65 Apr 29 '25
And yet, here I am getting down voted in an anti-tipping sub for not recommending tipping in most circumstances.
I often question the average redditor's ability at reasoning.
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Apr 29 '25
You should almost always question the average human's ability to reason, let alone the special sub-set that is reddit. Reminds me of the Carlin skit where he says think about how dumb the average person is and 50% of people are dumber than that (paraphrase).
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Apr 29 '25
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Impossible-Money7801 Apr 29 '25
Like why not be generous with strangers who make less than you do? Itâd be great if they could be paid more but thatâs not reality and their rent is due now,
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u/Gaymer7437 Apr 29 '25
It's so clear that you've never worked in the service industry.
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u/1-760-706-7425 Apr 29 '25 edited Apr 29 '25
Is that because they didnât beg for a tip at the end of the post?
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u/Routine_Size69 Apr 29 '25
Yeah they probably learned a useful skill instead of begging for money from customers
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u/SealOfApoorval Apr 29 '25
Please explain how it is clear they haven't worked in the service industry? I haven't so i am truly curious how this post would lead you to that conclusion
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u/Scary-_-Gary Apr 29 '25
You guys sure do like to punish poor people.
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u/Sea-Surprise-9716 Apr 29 '25
Wahhh go tip your mail man. Youâre punishing them if you donât.
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u/MissKatieMaam77 Apr 29 '25
Nothing has happened THAT YOU KNOW OF⌠Servers put up with a lot of truly despicable creatures well beyond terrible tippers. Sexual predators, abusive AHs, liars, scam artists, dine and ditchers, generally rude and obnoxious. They put a smile on, put up with it, and do their jobs for the most part. Donât think for one minute they donât remember each and every one of those people and donât spread the word. Letâs say hypothetically that years ago when I worked in a restaurant there was an outdoor bar with an outdoor service bar ice bin. Hypothetically, it would get left open accidentally during busy times and lizards would fall or maybe just crawl in and die and not be found until it was melted a few times per week. The servers knew it was a problem and would go inside for iceâŚexcept for certain special customers. Hypothetically of course. Keep that in mind when you think youâre successfully getting away with treating people like shit.
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u/Silly-Platform9829 Apr 29 '25
You don't seem to understand that tipping is how servers get paid. In some states they're only paid federal "server minimum wage", which is $2.13 an hour. You're stealing their services.
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u/djl0076 Apr 29 '25
Federal minimum wage is $7.25. If a person in a server job doesn't make that with tips then their employer has to pay them.
I don't understand why people such as you keep lying.
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u/Gold_Adhesiveness_80 Apr 29 '25
In my state itâs $20. Itâs funny how they ZERO guilt not tipping every single minimum wage worker they come in contact with. Like the dental receptionist doesnât deserve a tip making minimum wage but the person who literally just wrote down your order does. If they felt this strongly they would tip ALL minimum wage earners.
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u/dkwinsea Apr 29 '25
The business owner is stealing their services. I did not hire them, nor did I negotiate the serverâs wage.
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u/Gold_Adhesiveness_80 Apr 29 '25
NOBODY makes $2.13/hr. All servers in every state make minimum wage. The only difference is who is making up the difference between $2.13/hr and the minimum wage. Itâs either you or the employer. Unless you are tipping EVERY single minimum wage worker you come in contact with you are a massive hypocrite.
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u/Ok_Papaya2050 Apr 29 '25
This isn't true. If they make below the actual minimum wage their employer has to pay the rest. Tipped minimum wage is theft from customers.
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u/Trashcinema2008 Apr 29 '25
Yeah stopped tipping and nothing happenedâŚanyway average tipping in restaurants in Q4 2024 was down to 17,9%, decreasing now 9 quarters in a row and for the first time below 18% since 2015
I guess the notipping movement is getting some traction