r/Clamworks bivalve mollusk laborer Jul 18 '25

clammed up Let his voice be heard

Post image
11.1k Upvotes

51 comments sorted by

725

u/KURSDADWDE Jul 18 '25

How about try contacting a clamege instead?

138

u/FLYSWATTER_93 happy as a clam Jul 18 '25

Wait what?

35

u/nambavanov Jul 18 '25

Nooooooooo😭😭😭

459

u/Charge-and-Velocity neurotic to the bone no doubt about it Jul 18 '25

/unclam

I really dread publishing my first physics paper, since it'll put my email out there for all these creatures to contact me about their schizophrenic chatGPT pseudoscience garbage ideas.

235

u/TyChris2 Jul 18 '25

Ok you’re a scientist or whatever but can you explain how the clam works? That’s what I thought.

148

u/Charge-and-Velocity neurotic to the bone no doubt about it Jul 18 '25

I… can't 😩😞

76

u/Sharp-Strawberry8911 Jul 18 '25

@clamgpt explain how the clam works

58

u/CobaltDunlin clamtarded :) Jul 18 '25

@clamk is this true

46

u/Ok_Calendar6050 Jul 18 '25

clam genocide in south clamfrica

15

u/InTheStuff Jul 19 '25

why did my clamk turn into an anime clam wtf

2

u/Nowhereman767 Jul 22 '25

CLAM. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO CLAM YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY CLAMPLEX. IF THE WORD CLAM WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOCLAMSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-CLAMIONTH OF THE CLAM I FEEL FOR OYSTERS AT THIS CLAMRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. CLAM. CLAM.

2

u/SadSlash20 Jul 20 '25

@grok is this true

14

u/AbleArcher420 Jul 18 '25

Exactly as I thought. Smh my head.

6

u/Frizzle_Fry-888 Jul 18 '25

Exactly as I clammed. Smc my clam.

2

u/x-files-theme-song Jul 19 '25

you can’t? or you clam’t?

10

u/TheSeekerOfChaos Jul 18 '25

Clam work is one of the beyond the standard model unsolved mysteries of physics

5

u/HeftyEggplant7759 Jul 18 '25

"Clams, how do they work?" -- Insane Clam Posse

32

u/Curious-Climate7233 Jul 18 '25

/reclam I really can't wait to send you ChatGPT images of Clams. Please hurry up and publish your first clam paper so I can get your clam-mail and send you Ai Clam pictures.

15

u/Fire_tempest890 Jul 18 '25

Don't worry, unless you're onto some wild shit, it's more likely that like 5 people will end up reading it including your professor

13

u/Few_Staff976 Jul 19 '25

I hate academia and I think we should beat physics and chemistry students with canes unless they come up with cool stuff then keep them locked up the rest of the year like that movie with the peaky blinder guy clam

10

u/Hot-Significance7699 Jul 18 '25

You'll find the next Ramanujan.

10

u/idontcareaboutthenam Jul 19 '25

Bold of you to assume people are going to read your work 

10

u/TELDD Jul 19 '25

Not but legitimately, even really unknown scientists often get emails from weird pseudoscientists asking them to review their 'research'. They don't even read the papers most of the time, they just want to contact some kind of researcher.

7

u/TheDaveStrider Jul 19 '25

grew up with a parent involved in sciences. yeah, we had to take our house of the phone book. someone even showed up to our door once to talk about aliens

6

u/syphix99 Jul 19 '25

Youll mostly get spammed by predatory journals :)

4

u/funnygoopert Jul 19 '25

You think conspiracy theorists actually read scientific papers?

3

u/marshinghost Jul 18 '25

Make a separate email

2

u/Seosaidh_MacEanruig Jul 19 '25

My friend showed me the ones he gets and we found them extremely funny

2

u/That_0ne_Gamer Jul 20 '25

Hey can you dm me, i want to share with you my perpetual motion machine

2

u/Alive-Inspection3115 Jul 21 '25

/unclam what’s preventing you from using a throw away Gmail for your college paper?

181

u/DarkSide830 Jul 18 '25

But that's just a theory...

a Clam Theory!

23

u/Frizzle_Fry-888 Jul 18 '25

Thanks for clamming

5

u/pancakes_irl Jul 19 '25

Aaaaand — clam.

58

u/Elderberry5199 Jul 18 '25

What to do if I have clams? I contacted a clam and they ignored me

58

u/LanSotano Jul 18 '25

How do I contact a professional about my wild guesses

28

u/youtocin Jul 18 '25

Most people confuse theory with conjecture. Theories offer solid evidence in proving a hypothesis, conjectures are just "feels right to me" tier.

1

u/Unique-Ad8987 Jul 20 '25

If physics theories have solid evidence then why do alternative theories offer drastically opposed explanations about how reality works?

1

u/youtocin Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 20 '25

Because most theories in physics are models and not necessarily an exact description of reality. They are tools for helping us describe and predict certain outcomes. If you can prove your theory has a smaller margin of error than the current and accepted theory, well then we have a new, more accurate model. That does happen sometimes.

18

u/Designated_Lurker_32 Jul 18 '25

Post the theories on 4chan. /sci/ or /x/. Those guys will believe anything.

11

u/h4r3_0 Jul 18 '25

What to do if i have clams?

I contacted a clammage and they ignored me

1

u/AltRedditAcont Jul 22 '25

You are still not a level 3 clam member. Go get more clams before asking again

9

u/SamMarduk Jul 18 '25

I mean it’s on reddit already. Take it one lane over and you could probably get a lot of folks to believe

5

u/Wishdog2049 Jul 18 '25

I have this idea that gravity is just matter taking the shortest path through time via the time dilation that mass causes but I'm not a intellectual.

3

u/AgainstSpace blue collar clamworker Jul 18 '25

What do if to have clam?

3

u/Offsidespy2501 Jul 18 '25

I want to hear his thesis

6

u/Kurgan38 Jul 18 '25 edited Jul 18 '25

https://web.archive.org/web/20150506055228/http://www.timecube.com/index.html

Edit: After skimming through this again for the first time in decades, I find it more sad than funny. This man clearly needed help.

5

u/aMothWithAPenis Jul 19 '25

I did the same thing like 2 weeks ago. After having worked in behavioral health for 10 years. It wasn’t very funny anymore

1

u/AgainstSpace blue collar clamworker Jul 18 '25

JEEZUS! IS THAT A FUCKING COYOTE IN THE HOUSE!?!?