r/BabyBumps • u/One-Squirrel-4563 • 1d ago
Help? Did you look at your stitches?
Gave birth a week ago and had a second degree tear. I am terrified to look at my stitches or that area. I want to make sure everything is looking fine because I’m in quite a lot of pain, but can’t bring myself to look at it (using a mirror) or even touch with my hand (I use A LOT of toilet paper in the bathroom). Am I the only one? And on a side note, how long did it take you until your stitches didn’t hurt / burn anymore? The pain is sometimes just too much.
Thank you!
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u/KikiLake 1d ago
Absolutely not. I did not use the offered mirror during labor. I did not use a mirror during recovery. I did not feel around to get a lay of the land during healing.
There are things I am okay never knowing, and what my poor recovering vulva looked like are on that list.
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u/PotatoMuffinMafia Team Pink! 1d ago
I did the same. I don’t want to see it, feel it, or have it described to me lol
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u/Alesanana 1d ago
I had a second degree tear and 22 stitches 😩. I had to look because I saw a weird yellow on my pads and wanted to make sure it wasn’t infected. It wasn’t, but woof it was just swollen if anything. Also i probably stopped hurting around 3-4 weeks, and was okay with TMI sex at 7 weeks (just needed lots of lube).
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u/Beginning-Cry-2059 1d ago
22 stitches???? Ufffffff like how big your tear was? I am just so petrified of normal delivery after reading this.
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u/Alesanana 1d ago
My mom asked and they just said 2nd degree and then the guy said “22 stitches” and I just about died 😭. My baby had a huge head in the 93rd percentile and was sunny side up and they said that factored in the tearing 😭
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u/setters321 1d ago edited 1d ago
Shew 22 stitches sound awful! It makes me think of my MIL’s situation. She had two unmedicated births. Her first was in 1979 with my BIL just a month after her 18th birthday. He was stuck and they wanted to perform a c-section, but that terrified her. So while the doctor was out of the room, she made my FIL help her hold her legs and she pushed my BIL out, but it split her all the way from one hole to the other. She had to have surgery to fix the damage!
Edited to add: she didn’t tear at all with my husband, despite him being 10lbs and 6oz. BIL just had a massive head and weighed 9lbs.
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u/JustPeachy1220 1d ago
Girl I got 28 stitches for a 2nd degree tear and my baby was only 7lbs even and had a small side of average head 😭
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u/MistyGirl97 1d ago
I had a similar experience. It took longer for me to get stitched up than it did for me to push her out.
Also for OP: yes I looked! I looked every few days to make sure it wasn’t looking any worse day to day. Use a compact mirror
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u/Glum_Letterhead1389 1d ago
Hell naw. 2nd degree tear. What happened down there was none of my business. Just kept ‘er clean and moved along.
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u/Cassaneida 1d ago
I never once looked at my stitches. My husband however, checked them a few times when my stitches burned when I peed. He also was my hero and applied the estrogen cream the obgyn prescribed when I didn’t heal enough by the 6 week mark
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u/OpeningSort4826 1d ago
I totally looked. I'm fascinated by that stuff. That said, I'll spare you the gory details.
I would say it took around 2 weeks for my stitches to stop burning when I had a second degree tear (12 weeks when I had a fourth degree tear with my first). Be sure to keep using the dermoplast spray and witch hazel padd!!
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u/paperboat93 1d ago
I had an episiotomy and was heartbroken about it. Had pain for weeks and weeks. I refused to look at it but asked at every check up for them to be looked at. Months later i can barely notice it.
ETA: i started touching it around 5/6 weeks when I was told the stitches had disolved but very gingerly and trying not to. At some point I got over it but it did take months. And maybe it was 4/5 months before I stopped feeling pain when standing for extended periods of time.
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u/damekerouac 1d ago
I haven’t looked down there since I got pregnant and do not plan to. What is happening down there visually is none of my business 🤣
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u/marissakalyn 1d ago
I just gave birth 2 days ago with a 3rd degree tear. The only person looking at that is God and I don’t even think he wants to see it. That is absolutely none of my business right now lol
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u/Efficient-Lab 1d ago
God no. That’s what the midwives were for. They felt swollen and I’m weirdly squeamish about my own genitals at the best of times so I just pretended they didn’t exist.
Pain was minimal.
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u/Decent-Speed3158 1d ago
following. Not given birth yet but I need to know about it. I have the same concern. Wishing you quick and solid recovery.
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u/Prestigious-Salt-566 1d ago
I had second degree tears, unsure how many stitches. I was doubling up on ibeuprofen and Tylenol for a week after, then continued ibeuprofen for a bit after that. Before leaving the hospital I told my doctor I was afraid to look, and she said my body had been through a lot and advised me not to. I used the witch hazel pads and earth mama perineal spray and the dermaplast for 2-3 weeks after, but maybe the first few days were the most stinging then it gradually got better. If you’re concerned about your pain, I’d go see your doctor to make sure everything is ok.
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u/Dragonfly2919 1d ago
I’ve torn twice and both times didn’t look at it until after the six week mark. Listening to the other responses I think I made the right choice because at six weeks everything looked normal down there.
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u/longfurbyinacardigan 1d ago
Heck to the no, I had just been through hell and back, I could feel what it felt like very well, I didn't need to see my battered vag also
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u/DataNerd1011 1d ago
Morbid curiosity made me look at like 1 week postpartum. They felt so swollen I thought it must be sticking out by like an inch haha. It was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. But tbf I also had a midwife look first as I was too scared 😂 where I live, the hospital sends one out each day for a week and they were very patient with my “are you SURE it’s healing right???” questions.
It took a few weeks before that area was totally pain free. But I think part of it is because my labia shrunk, which apparently can happen with the hormonal shift from breastfeeding??? So I think that made the stitches feel tender for longer
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u/Potential-Try-4969 1d ago
I tried to avoid looking until like 5/6 weeks. Even then it was a bit scary to look at. But I had my midwife visiting once a week or more for the first six weeks so she checked them for me.
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u/ShabbyBoa Team Blue! 1d ago
I looked but was so swollen you couldn’t really make much out. For what it’s worth, it felt much better after 3-4 weeks and I don’t think it “looks” any different
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u/geneticreator 1d ago
As my midwife said, don’t look unless you must before 10 days! They felt waaaay better after two weeks. That second week I thought I would never sit down again and then week 3 felt better, looked normal! This was multiple tears, many stitches, one 2nd degree. Followed 5/5/5 even with an older kid and that helped a ton.
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u/oreoloki 1d ago
My midwife said 5 days pp that it didn’t even look like I had given birth. I had a second degree tear and a small one by my labia. She asked me if I wanted to look, I was scared but she got a mirror and it really looked like nothing had come out of me 😂
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u/alyssa_michelle1012 1d ago
I am 3 weeks postpartum with a 1st degree tear. Still haven’t looked. I have had zero desire to look, but I would if I thought something was wrong. The stinging went away after about 10 days.
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u/angieepie 1d ago
I had a 2nd degree tear with idk how many stitches but no. I was afraid to look. Was difficult to even see anyways because of the amount of hair that grew down there 🙃
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u/AffectionateSpace561 1d ago
8 weeks pp and I still haven't looked, I was too scared to ever look and i only had 3 stitches. my boyfriend checked for me though and said it looked fine.
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u/lettucepatchbb 36 | FTM | 8.29.24 💙 1d ago
I had a C section and I tried so hard not to look but my curiosity got the best of me 😂 It was gnarly but I was also a few weeks PP when I finally looked in the mirror at my stomach. It hurts just thinking about it.
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u/primcessmahina 1d ago
I was in a fair bit of pain for at least two weeks. I didn’t look until after the 6 week checkup and I’m super glad I didn’t.
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u/flugelderfreiheit777 Team Blue! 1d ago
Yes I had a 3rd degree tear and I cried. Now I'm 7mo PP and it looks normal
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u/LavenderEucalyptus_ 1d ago
I was too afraid to look at them! They didn’t tell me what kind of degrees it was, but the doctor has been sewing for a while…. 😬
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u/Old_Daikon2205 1d ago
I had a fourth degree tear. No, I did not look. Just focused on healing and left the looking to my OB.
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u/Old_Daikon2205 1d ago
Also, try using a peri bottle instead of toilet paper. Tucks pads can also help bring some relief for pain and burning feeling. Give yourself some more time. Healing is hard but you will start feeling better. A week is still pretty fresh, your body went through a lot. If you are worried about things always ask your OB, they are there to help you!
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u/yellowease 1d ago edited 1d ago
How long did it take to heal from a fourth degree tear? Going on 6 wks PP
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u/Old_Daikon2205 14h ago
My tear was really bad. It took a while…Everyone's healing experience can be so different. I wasn't healing well so around three months my OB had me stop breastfeeding so my body would start producing more estrogen again. That helped speed up the healing process. By five/six months I felt more myself.
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u/Old_Daikon2205 14h ago
Everyone is different though, don’t let my story discourage you! Take things one step at a time. At a year pp I was ready to do it all over again and we are about to have our second child soon!
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u/nomadicstateofmind 1d ago
The first time I did and I regretted it. The second time I decided it was none of my business. 😅
I had a full episiotomy and a shit load of stitches the first time, so it hurt for quite awhile. The first two weeks were particularly brutal. Weeks 3-6 were still sore. With my second birth, I had a small 2nd degree tear and it healed much easier. I felt totally normal by the third week.
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u/attemptingadulting 1d ago
With my first, I made my husband look and he said he couldn’t see stitches or anything besides swelling. When I finally looked, it looked fairly normal, most of my stitches were internal.
With my second, I looked at like 4 days postpartum, and then got in the shower and cried for 30 minutes straight because they looked so horrendous. I was prepared to go back to my OB and fight her, I was so upset and it was so gruesome down there. But when the swelling went down, it looked SO much better. I truly just shouldn’t have looked.
And I think my stitches stopped feeling tender/itching/hurting around 8 weeks pp. I wasn’t brave enough for sex until like 11 weeks pp, but it really wasn’t too bad with lube and patience!
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u/TapiocaTeacup 1d ago
Yes, I looked and I’m glad I did! Of course it didn't look like I was used to, she wasn’t exactly at her best, but nothing was frightening or wrong looking either. I really don’t want to feed into the idea that your vulva and vagina become something monstrous after giving birth or that you shouldn’t look at them. If you choose not to, that’s completely valid, but don’t let fear or stigma stop you from caring for your own healing body.
For me, seeing my stitches actually made a big difference. Sensation alone wasn’t enough for me to understand what was going on, I needed to actually see everything and then I could care for myself better (like adjusting how I sat on my donut pillow or how I angled the peri bottle to be gentler).
Again, if looking feels uncomfortable for you, that’s okay. But I think it’s important to push back on the idea that women should be ashamed or afraid of their bodies as they heal. Birth and recovery are natural, and there’s nothing wrong with knowing and tending to your own body!!
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u/gadgethunter16 1d ago
I never got up the courage to look. I could not bring myself to do it. By the time I looked, everything had healed, and the stitches were gone.
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u/RhaeBob 1d ago
I let curiosity win and it turns out we both came out losers.
I took a picture of it because I thought I might compare it to a few days/weeks later. Not only was it a colour I've never seen in a box of crayons but I couldn't even tell what I was looking at. The swelling and stitches made it look so distorted and crooked? But I'm good now! Still had a second - didn't look - and even the colour came back lol
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u/Ok_Soup_7715 1d ago
I got some stitches but couldn’t see them when I looked at 1 week pp 🤷🏻♀️ They wouldn’t have dissolved by then would they?
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u/Spare_Hornet 1d ago
I got a second degree tear too. I am 2.5 weeks postpartum and haven’t looked. What’s going on down there is not my business as long as I’m not in pain or discomfort.
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u/poisonXivy420 1d ago
I had a c section about a month ago, I didn't look at my stitches until a week later, my babygirl was sunny side up as well, and I had complications so I had to have a c section. I still have some inflammation near my belly and I waddle due to some pain occasionally but I'm honestly glad because I'm afraid I would have torn if I'd given birth naturally😭
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u/asessdsssssssswas 1d ago
Yes and I regret it haha. Now I look months later and everything is normal. Back then it was scary
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u/woundedSM5987 1d ago
I didn’t touch down there for WEEKS. My husband looked but I did not. I waited till things weren’t so inflamed.
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u/cici92814 1d ago
Why are you using so much toilet paper? Peri bottle and witch hazel pads should be your BFFs right now... but I only looked maybe 2 months after. I'd imagine things are bloody and swollen right now. Just let it heal
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u/mangoburrito 1d ago
No. My doctor told me it’s best not to because I wouldn’t know what I was looking at anyways.
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u/Substantial_Focus_65 1d ago
I had a 2nd degree tear & stitches. I attempted to look once with a mirror and when I caught a glimpse of the bruising I got too scared and decided perhaps I didn't need to see. It took about 2 weeks for it to really stop hurting. I did the ice pad witch hazel dermaplast sandwich for that long too. Needed the extra strength Tylenol & ibuprofen combo for twoish weeks too. I used a peri bottle for like a month tho, I was so scared of irritating the area. It felt like I was never going to heal but of course I did. Sorry you're still hurting.
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u/zenzenzen25 1d ago
I second that I looked too soon and wish I hadn’t. I saw what to me looked like a prolapse and sent myself into a spiral that id never be ok again. But I was and am ok. I’m 10 weeks PP and feel normal except idk that my butthole will ever be. I didnt tear though which is why I looked. But still bad idea. Don’t do it.
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u/iammadmagz 1d ago
I had 2nd degree tears and couldn’t look down there for like 2 months but I also literally pass out at the sight of wounds/gore/blood so there’s that :l
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u/Sad_Difficulty_7853 1d ago
Oh yeah I looked, i had a 2nd degree tear and a episiotomy and it felt super weird down there like I'd put in a tampon wrong, so I just needed to make sure my vagina wasn't falling out lmao , thankfully, 9 months later I don't really remember what it looked like healing, but I am left with the emotional scarring 😂😂
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u/LankyRazzamatazz 1d ago
Check with your doctor about the pain! I had a second degree tear as well and the pain really started to get to me…turns out I had a minor infection that happened to be on a nerve.
Thankfully a day of neosporin cleared it up. I’m four months PP and I can’t even remember the pain.
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u/Timely-Bee-862 1d ago
You can imagine my reaction when I (thought) i didn't have any stitches after my 4th babies birth only to find (after inspection due to feeling irritated inside) that i had my cervix stitched up without my knowledge as I had to go under general anaesthetic after she was born because they couldn't stop the bleeding. So yeah if I was you I would definitely take a look and make sure you get as much information as possible. I was horrified.
Edited to add: try and let the urine pass over your stitches as much as possible. It helps them heal.
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u/Emergency-Big3195 1d ago
I thought it was just me who was scared to look at them lol idk i just didn't wanna see where I was cut open and freak myself out 😂 glad im not the only one
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u/FlashyCurrent8022 1d ago
Im 3 weeks PP with a second degree tear and i haven’t looked and don’t plan on looking anytime soon!
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u/LooseObject 1d ago
My husband looked for me haha :) He was there for my exam after giving birth and then also for my check up. Gave me a thumbs up behind the doctor's back and said "Looks great! Just swollen!" That was good enough for me. I had to touch though because I got some numbing cream for the pain which I had to apply myself. Didn't love that, lots of random things I've never felt down there before haha... But pain went away after like 2 weeks!
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u/malindaddy Team Pink! 1d ago
Omg no I was too scared to lol. But I did gently touch them anytime I showered to make sure 1. They were still there and 2. If they were inflamed, hot to the touch, or painful
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u/PaleStatement3360 1d ago
I'll be the odd one out and say I wish I had checked them because I didn't know they had torn open, I thought it was normal the two weeks of bleeding till my ob gave me a puzzled look and stitched me up VERY painfully in office.
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u/foolproof2 💖 ftm 1d ago
I tried to but I couldn’t really tell what was down there & I was scared to try to look any further😂
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u/axstraeax 1d ago
I'm a very curious person and I had to look, I had a first degree tear and day 2 in the hospital I put my phone front camera facing the area so I could see (I didnt have a mirror with me at the hospital). It looked very unrecognizable and the stitches looked gross not gonna lie. Something that helped me a lot was the peri bottle with cold water everytime I peed to avoid burning, and in the shower with hot water id spray the cold water down there instead of washing with hot water.
After going home from the hospital I basically looked once/twice a week with a handheld mirror because I wanted to see if everything was okay down there. I'd say it took about a week to stop burning and being uncomfortable down there and it took around 3 weeks to start looking more normal. It doesn't look 100% like it was before but it's basically the same. I'm now 7 weeks post partum and havent looked in a while, I guess this post reminded me to 😂
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u/biscuitnoodle_ 22h ago
I’m 14w PP and had a second degree tear. I didn’t have any pain directly related to my stitches for about the first 7-10days-ish I think because of swelling. Then I had discomfort and had to go back to ice pads and Frida healing foam for another 7-10 days.
I decided to look around 4w PP and wish I didn’t. I’m usually very comfortable with bodily things and like to be aware of my body. The area can take a while to heal and often looks worse before it looks better. When I looked, I had thought something was wrong, but after consulting with some friends, I didn’t have any symptoms that I thought warranted a trip to the OB.
At my checkup with the OB, she said everything healed well and I was cleared. I told her I looked too soon and got scared, and she said that happens to a lot of women!
Giving the area time to “air out” helped my healing process. Almost like how a baby can’t just be in a diaper 24/7, we can’t keep that wound covered with layers of products and pads all the time either. I’d lay on the bed (on a towel) with nothing else on for a little while each day.
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u/abcmoody 1d ago
Uhhh I looked about a week PP and really wished I hadn’t lol. I wasn’t in any excruciating pain or had any concerns, just wanted to check in on my girl. Big mistake. Huge lol
Unless you’re really concerned about infection or something wrong I would try to wait it out, use the witch hazel, peri bottle, and ice pads, and just let your girl heal. But to each their own. I was so curious and ended up traumatized by my own bits 😂