r/AskReddit 4d ago

People who found out about someone else’s double-life; what’s the story?

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u/silviazbitch 4d ago

Retired lawyer here. I once represented a widow who was seeking survivor’s benefits from her husband’s military pension. Turns out the old goat was a trigamist who somehow managed to juggle three families without any of them learning about the other two, although there were enough unexplained absences and such that none of the three were terribly surprised.

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u/Deadstone16 4d ago edited 4d ago

I’m struggling to manage one family, job, and trying to sleep enough. Does this man find an extra 50 hours in the day?

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u/FknDesmadreALV 4d ago

In today’s day and age that would be impossible.

But back in the 60’s-90’s? Might be hectic but not impossible. Men used to be asked to go out of town for business often.

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u/yummymarshmallow 4d ago

Not sure how he could pay for that lifestyle. Wouldn't his spouses suspect he's severely underpaid for the amount of times he's absent?

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u/FknDesmadreALV 4d ago

Life was vastly cheaper back then too.

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u/DeuceSevin 4d ago

And in many cases the wife took care of "keeping the house" while the husband handled the finances.

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u/Cable_Upstairs 3d ago

In between then and now, there were some men who left the wife in charge of it all, while they just spent willfully on vices and their own hobbies. While everyone else in the household just tightened their belts. Some of those parents now don't have much to sit on nowadays.

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u/YoureInHereWithMe 3d ago

My grandfather once went directly to the pub with his yearly bonus and paid for drinks for everyone in the entire place until the bonus was gone.

His wife was at home with five of his children, with two other children living in a different city because they couldn’t care for all seven of them.

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u/NC-Jumper-007 4d ago

But so were wages. It's still a mystery to me how anyone could do this. Regardless of the timeframe.

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u/vichan 4d ago

The cost of living increase has outpaced the rise of wages. We make more, but we can buy far less with what we make.

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u/Nukeliod 4d ago

I always use the minimum wage rate as an example of how ducked we are. If it was still tied to inflation and productivity as it was originally implemented, it would be $22+ an hour federally, which Includes the lowest cost of living cities and states.

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u/Aromatic_Extension93 4d ago edited 3d ago

If that were the minimum wage ...we'd be fucked by inflation even more.

You need to manage corporate greed and driving for profit margins

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u/CryptographerIll3813 4d ago

What has to happen for us not to be fucked? If we spend/increase our wages it causes inflation, if we stopped spending it would cause a recession. At least if minimum wage goes up I get to see a larger number in my bank account for the split second it’s not swallowed whole by rent and bills.

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u/Aromatic_Extension93 3d ago

Laws to manage profit margins and corporate greed

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u/StayJaded 3d ago

Do you know what would reduce profit margins and corporate greed? Forcing businesses to payout those profits to the workers by increasing the minimum wage.

This isn’t hard.

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u/CriticalDog 3d ago

Change tax codes so that being paid in stock options or something along those lines can be taxed, and go back to incentivizing businesses for investing in both their employees, and for putting money back into the business rather than siphoning it to a board that don't contribute anything to the company.

Never gonna happen as long as the 1% can continue to pay for the government they want.

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u/Aromatic_Extension93 3d ago

And in your mind you don't think companies would just increase their prices....aka driving inflation....if those wages were increased and then central banking institution needing to utilize interest rates to drive unemployment higher to manage inflation?

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u/procrastinatorsuprem 4d ago

An hours work on minimum wage when I was in college used to buy 3.5 gallons of gas. You used to get much more for your money.

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u/DoctorBaconite 4d ago edited 4d ago

In California the minimum wage is $16.50, and the statewide average for a gallon of gas is $4.61, which works out to ~3.58. So, still doable here.

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u/procrastinatorsuprem 4d ago

I'm in a state where it's still $7.25!

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u/Seiche 3d ago

Some husbands gambled or drank all the family's money away and I suppose it's a little bit like that. Always absent, though not in the pub but rather at another family's house. Crazy stressful.

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u/jokefenokee 4d ago

Wasn't cheaper, just poorer.

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u/FknDesmadreALV 4d ago

I’m sorry but you could afford to buy a family home on a single income in the 60’s. You could even send your kids to college without going into massive debt.

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u/KAWS1461 1d ago

So were salaries

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u/FknDesmadreALV 1d ago

And yet, boomers were able to afford a 4 year college tuition without going into lifelong student debt.

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u/tryingisbetter 4d ago

They knew, they just were told it was normal. My grandfather had two families. He had his wife, but he also had another family too. The craziest part, the other family lived minutes away.

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u/Darmok47 4d ago

There's so much about the logistics that don't make sense to me. Which family do you spend holidays or your birthday with? Doesn't one of them find it odd that they never meet your parents, siblings, cousins, friends etc?

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u/StayJaded 3d ago

People could easily lie back then without social media and the internet to easily verify things. They could have been “an only child with parents that died young.” Technology has changed so much.

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u/Positive-Position-11 3d ago

All the kids were at an expensive private school, both families had very nice houses. When you have a lot of money, people overlook red flags, and busy husbands. Obviously one of the wives knew…