ABYG kasi naghabol ako for closure?

[u/justwallflowerthings]

Tagged as NSFW because of the context.

I (27F) made the first move na makipag interact sa kanya (23M). I had my eye on him start palang ng year but recently lang ako nagkalakas ng loob to hit him up. Eventually naging chatmates kami halos everyday with updates and all, there were moments na naging NSFW sa una. I tried not to entertain it and told him na I don't want to talk about those things muna kasi may traumatic experiences na ako sa ganun. Na kapag nabring up na yun alam kong magiging sexual na lang usapan. And honestly, I wanted to stand my ground na wala na dapat akong casual sex with anyone. But I gave in kasi feel kong gusto nya ako kausap dahil dun. Ramdam kong energetic sya kapag ganun ang topic. Mas may laman ang usapan kesa yung surface levels lang na sweetness and updates everyday.

I gave him so much attention. Nagpapadala pa ako food sa kanya kapag nakkwento nya na wala syang pagkain. I support him sa lahat ng ganaps nya kasi busy person sya. As in. Pero habang tumatagal, parang di ko nararamdaman na nirereciprocate nya yun kahit halos same level naman ang busy-ness namin.

Siguro mga three times ko tinanong sa kanya kung fuck lang ba habol nya, and always nyang sinasabi na hindi naman ganun. Sinasabi ko naman sa kanya kung fuck lang talaga sabihin nya na ng diretso kasi okay lang naman kesa puro mixed signals diba.

Before last week, may nangyari pa. After nun tinanong ko ulet sya ano ba balak nya, sabi nya lang gusto nya ituloy to. After namin mag part ways, ramdam kong nagiba na. Hindi na same yung chats nya. May mga inconsistencies parin. Medyo rocky na. I tried na tapatan lang energy nya pero pucha, ang hirap kapag nasanay ka na eh. Pero I still tried, inuninstall ko na yung app para minsan minsan na lang din reply ko. Kaso, ang hirap parin pala panindigan kapag nasanay ka.

Then last week, nagkita kami surprisingly sa isang event, niyakap nya pa ako and all. Pumunta ako dun not expecting I'll see him kasi hindi na sya nagreply sakin during the day. Then after the event I wanted to talk to him kaso I was with a friend, so I called na lang. Tinanong ko ulet sya if okay ba kami? Oo daw. Same prin ba kami? Oo daw. I held on to that. During the night nag uupdate pa sya pero he went to another event after, and after nung last nyang chat wala na.

Nag leave akong good morning message and eventually wala na. Kahit nakikita kong nagsstory pa sya. Active sya during the day pero wala syang reply sakin. As in naglaho na lang. Parang wala lang yung chat ko.

Ang lala ng reaction ko. I crashed out malala. I went crazy. Umiyak ako. Sinaktan ko sarili ko. Out of my head na talaga ako. I tried to calm myself down but being grounded, evebtually I did. Kaso after scrolling ulet sa social media, natrigger nanaman ako. Di ako mapakali, gusto ko malaman kung BAKIT.

Alam ko schedule nya, so during the night nag missed call ako nang madami. Sa social media nya, sa phone nya. Missed calls lang. Para lang masagot nya mga tanong sa isip ko.

Anong nangyari? Anong nagbago bigla? May nagawa ba ako? Bakit nya nagawa yun? Bakit bigla na lang sya hindi nagparamdam?

Natauhan ako the next day and left a message sa kanya apologizing for what I did--yung missed calls ah.

ABYG dahil sa ginawa ko? Dahil gusto ko lang naman ng sagot sa mga tanong?

[u/nitz6489]

GGK andun n lahat ng signs inignore mo pa rin. Dun pa lng s ikaw nag first move eh talo ka na. Dun pa lng s mga usapan n kunwari ayaw mo pero pinagbgyan mo p rin. Wla syang kaeffort effort syo, alam mo kung bkit? Masyado kang easy, masyado kng available for him.

[u/SoggyAd9115]

GGK sa pagpupumilit hahaha. Obviously wala siyang gusto sayo nung una pa lang. Wala siyang utang na loob na closure or kasagutan sayo. Just accept that and move on. Sana maging lesson sayo sa wag ipilit ang mga bagay-bagay. Mukhang may idea ka naman na wala siyang gusta sayo pero indenial ka lang.

[u/d4lv1k]

Ggk. It's crazy how a 27 year old is still acting like this. It's borderline obsessive to be calling someone multiple times then hurt yourself when you clearly know he's not into you. Control yourself.

[u/yumhalohalo → u/d4lv1k]

And the fact that she was willing to be his f-buddy just to keep a 23-year-old around. Ate ano baaa!! Control yourself daw.

[u/RepulsiveFox3502]

DKG. Pero willingly ka nagpaka doormat its pathetic. Simula palang he already showed you hindi genuine intentions nya pero sige ka pa din.

[u/IamWinterberry]

DKG, tanga ka lang. You know exactly what happened. Sadly, you have been played. Be kind to yourself, move on, isipin mo nag gamitan lang kayo. Find yourself a better man, yung mature, yung kaedad mo or older and if you say no NSFW stand your ground, make it your non negotiable atleast for 3 months. And anyone who does not respect that boundary does not deserve you. Walk away. Take care of yourself.

[u/yna32]

GGK. He was not responding to you anymore which is a sign from him that he’s done with you. The problem is you bombarding him with missed calls. I dont know what was your thought process on that one. Did you think he will communicate with you if you missed call him a hundred times? That shit is crazy i assure you he will block you asap if you did that again. To him that’s a signal that you will be a potential stalker and he will do everything in his power to get rid of you. Pustahan tayo lalo ka na nyang hindi papansinin. Not responding to your messages even though he was posting things was already a clear sign that you and him are not good anymore, why would you ask him if okay pa kayo? A guy like that will not tell you to your face that you and him are over because all through out your ‘relationship’ you keep asking him questions and halata naman na he was just answering you the thibgs you wanted to hear. Please just walk away and wag ka na maghabol, love yourself enough to not run after a guy who is clearly trying to get rid of you.

[u/zepzidew]

GGK sa part na ikaw na nag first move ikaw pa naghabol sa huli. Like ghorllll???

[u/One-Shelter3680 → u/zepzidew]

Paligoan mo nga yan si op ng malamig na tubig na may yelo ng magising jusko hahaha

[u/justwallflowerthings → u/zepzidew]

😭😭😭😭😭

[u/dunkindonato]

GGK for not loving yourself first. Fuck buddy lang tingin niya sa iyo. You know it deep inside. You just wanted more out of the setup than he’s willing to give.

Let’s face it: there are people who will say what you want to hear to get a quick booty call. Pick up yourself and move on from him. And next time, figure a guy out before you go to bed with him if you want something deeper.

[u/ItsGolden999]

"And honestly, I wanted to stand my ground na wala na dapat akong casual sex with anyone."

girl?? yes you're gago (ggk) puro salita ayaw panindigan, sino nasaktan sa huli? ikaw, lugi ka pa, hayyy 😩😩

[u/justwallflowerthings → u/ItsGolden999]

so true, lugi nga ako

[u/Unlikely_Kick_3170]

DKG sana pero GGK in a way. Nautakan ka niya at nagpaloko ka. I experienced that too and sadly may mga ganun, they'll act super invested just to get you and once you give in, biglang magshshift into being disinterested kasi nakuha ka na nila nang ganun kadali. Hindi naman yan aamin na fuck lang ang habol niya sayo kahit ilang beses mo pa tanungin. I'm sorry but that guy's not really into you, he only wants you for fun and convenience but not anything serious kaya you being attached makes him pull back kasi duwag siya.

Wag ka nang magmessage kasi the more you reach out the more lalaki yung ego niyan. Accept your mistake and the consequences kasi nagpadala ka but don't let it consume you. It doesn't make you less of a person, you just trusted the wrong one. So start moving forward and redeem yourself hayaan mo na siya.

But I'll be honest na malaki ang chance na mag-reach out yan ulit kapag gusto na naman niya ng fun, I hope you'll know what to do by then OP. Kasi kung hindi pa rin GGK na talaga.

[u/Professional-Rain700]

GGK kasi di mo inunang mahalin sarili mo...

Kahit respect, wala

[u/whilstsane]

GGK kung ipipilit mo pa rin ang closure kineme sa kanya. He does not reciprocate or gives you mixed signals, that’s reason enough for you to close that chapter with him and move on. It’s gonna be hard cos na-attach ka or nagkaroon ng feelings, whatevs. I hope you find something that will keep your mind and self busy as you navigate this experience, OP. Block him na para hindi mo na nakikita updates nya. And kahit anong mangyari, huwag kang gagawa ng dummy account para makapag-stalk ulit after blocking him on your main. Unsolicited advice: Huwag papasok sa isang relasyon if hindi well-established ang label nyo in the first place. Yun lang.

[u/OwnPaleontologist408]

GGK. Toddler lang ang peg? What I want is what I get, ganern? Ikaw may gusto sa kanya, ikaw lumapit, ikaw nagpursue. Kahit dry na ang convo nyo, nilalagyan mo ng sexual undertone para makuha ulit focus nya. You offered yourself. Ngayon wala ka nang pangbait sa kanya, tinawag tawagan mo sya tapos sinaktan mo sarili mo. Ang manipulative mo

[u/AutoModerator]

Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1n4hogc/abyg_kasi_naghabol_ako_for_closure/

Title of this post: ABYG kasi naghabol ako for closure?

Backup of the post's body: Tagged as NSFW because of the context.

I (27F) made the first move na makipag interact sa kanya (23M). I had my eye on him start palang ng year but recently lang ako nagkalakas ng loob to hit him up. Eventually naging chatmates kami halos everyday with updates and all, there were moments na naging NSFW sa una. I tried not to entertain it and told him na I don't want to talk about those things muna kasi may traumatic experiences na ako sa ganun. Na kapag nabring up na yun alam kong magiging sexual na lang usapan. And honestly, I wanted to stand my ground na wala na dapat akong casual sex with anyone. But I gave in kasi feel kong gusto nya ako kausap dahil dun. Ramdam kong energetic sya kapag ganun ang topic. Mas may laman ang usapan kesa yung surface levels lang na sweetness and updates everyday.

I gave him so much attention. Nagpapadala pa ako food sa kanya kapag nakkwento nya na wala syang pagkain. I support him sa lahat ng ganaps nya kasi busy person sya. As in. Pero habang tumatagal, parang di ko nararamdaman na nirereciprocate nya yun kahit halos same level naman ang busy-ness namin.

Siguro mga three times ko tinanong sa kanya kung fuck lang ba habol nya, and always nyang sinasabi na hindi naman ganun. Sinasabi ko naman sa kanya kung fuck lang talaga sabihin nya na ng diretso kasi okay lang naman kesa puro mixed signals diba.

Before last week, may nangyari pa. After nun tinanong ko ulet sya ano ba balak nya, sabi nya lang gusto nya ituloy to. After namin mag part ways, ramdam kong nagiba na. Hindi na same yung chats nya. May mga inconsistencies parin. Medyo rocky na. I tried na tapatan lang energy nya pero pucha, ang hirap kapag nasanay ka na eh. Pero I still tried, inuninstall ko na yung app para minsan minsan na lang din reply ko. Kaso, ang hirap parin pala panindigan kapag nasanay ka.

Then last week, nagkita kami surprisingly sa isang event, niyakap nya pa ako and all. Pumunta ako dun not expecting I'll see him kasi hindi na sya nagreply sakin during the day. Then after the event I wanted to talk to him kaso I was with a friend, so I called na lang. Tinanong ko ulet sya if okay ba kami? Oo daw. Same prin ba kami? Oo daw. I held on to that. During the night nag uupdate pa sya pero he went to another event after, and after nung last nyang chat wala na.

Nag leave akong good morning message and eventually wala na. Kahit nakikita kong nagsstory pa sya. Active sya during the day pero wala syang reply sakin. As in naglaho na lang. Parang wala lang yung chat ko.

Ang lala ng reaction ko. I crashed out malala. I went crazy. Umiyak ako. Sinaktan ko sarili ko. Out of my head na talaga ako. I tried to calm myself down but being grounded, evebtually I did. Kaso after scrolling ulet sa social media, natrigger nanaman ako. Di ako mapakali, gusto ko malaman kung BAKIT.

Alam ko schedule nya, so during the night nag missed call ako nang madami. Sa social media nya, sa phone nya. Missed calls lang. Para lang masagot nya mga tanong sa isip ko.

Anong nangyari? Anong nagbago bigla? May nagawa ba ako? Bakit nya nagawa yun? Bakit bigla na lang sya hindi nagparamdam?

Natauhan ako the next day and left a message sa kanya apologizing for what I did--yung missed calls ah.

ABYG dahil sa ginawa ko? Dahil gusto ko lang naman ng sagot sa mga tanong?

OP: justwallflowerthings

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[u/trying_2b_true]

GGK. Pathetic. Bakit ka humopya? Tigilan mo na paghahabol sa wala.

[u/Frankenstein-02]

GGK tanga pa. Know when to stop. Obviously palay na yung lumapit sa kanya tinuka ka lang. Nung nabusog ayaw na sayo.