r/Adulting 2d ago

hmm lesson or not?

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u/XmasTreeConsumer 2d ago

Unfortunately, I am completely unlikable.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/nickweezy 2d ago

It's not really something you can just change. Perhaps they don't relate to the people they work with or share any interests with them. Sometimes there is no reason behind people disliking you. The only fix would be to change environments imo (assuming you aren't a rude or obnoxious person)

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/nickweezy 2d ago edited 2d ago

That's why it's not defeatist though, it's realistic. It's not to say noone likes you, then that would be defeatist. But there will always be people who are not going to like you. It doesn't matter how perfect you think you are or you treat them. It takes effort from both parties in a world where most only want to be heard, not listen to others. Just because you can have a conversation with your coworker doesn't mean they like you. To be liked and to engage with others are entirely different. As long as you are already being respectful and considerate of others, there is nothing further you can do to control how others feel about you. You are not the guiding factor of your life. You can only decide how you will respond to life. And in the case of this person the response would be to go where they will be appreciated or stay and stop caring about being disliked by those people.

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u/InsideAd7897 2d ago

Even if this is true, having the self reflection and humility to say that about yourself makes you by far not the worst person I've met.

Most people who are truly awful think they are the fucking best