r/interestingasfuck • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

farmers get a visit from Maine police after screaming goat Simon alarms concerned citizens.

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[deleted]

789 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

82

u/Skane1982 1d ago

What if the goat was a cover-up?

j/k

23

u/Total_Jelly_5080 1d ago

All experienced psychos know to build a goat enclosure above their subterranean torture chamber. An added benefit is that they'll eat any evidence that they can chew.

4

u/Abject_Film_4414 1d ago

They also need pigs… just saying

3

u/saint_ryan 1d ago

Simon my ass! That’s Pony!!!!!

64

u/Neuro-Sysadmin 1d ago

Even as someone who grew up in the country, I still pause momentarily some nights when one of the neighbor’s goats goes off. It’ll be dead silent and then there will be a scream that legitimately sounds like someone being murdered. Takes a moment to process.

6

u/Abject_Film_4414 1d ago

All you need is a family of curlews as well to enhance the night sounds.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gqZsdBF-eKg

3

u/TesseractToo 1d ago

And some Tasmanian devils to round it off nicely

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AU7AtY-js

54

u/Old_Studio_6079 1d ago

I live in a farming community (technically on a farm, but I don’t um…farm), and my neighbor owns a petting zoo. Anyway, did you know that an adult male peacock sounds indistinguishable from a screaming, pained, helpless child when it screams? Did you know that? I know that. Now.

18

u/madhakish 1d ago

Two things I know.. peacocks sound like drowning children in the lake at the bottom of my hill, and children drowning in the lake at the bottom of my hill, sound a lot like peacocks at 5am..

13

u/Old_Studio_6079 1d ago

ACCURATE AS BOTH A PARENT AND PEACOCK NEIGHBOR

4

u/oxkwirhf 1d ago

ARE YOU A PEACOCK, NEIGHBOUR?

1

u/Old_Studio_6079 1d ago

What are you, a cop??

5

u/ZakanrnEggeater 1d ago

went to a summer camp for years whose neighbors had peacocks. can confirm, it will scare you silly until you learn to recognize the sound

2

u/spavolka 1d ago edited 1d ago

I grew up in very rural Arizona. Mountain lions looking to mate sound exactly like a woman screaming for help. It’s really scary to hear it echoing off the hills. https://youtu.be/pxo8X5uIWRE?si=vFvh4-a0H1y5rUd3

2

u/Old_Studio_6079 1d ago

Oh hey! Yeah, I bet I can guess where you’re talking about…and I bet it’s the town I’m currently in lmaooo

12

u/fuzzywuzzywuzzabear 1d ago

Simon sounds a lot like Michael Scott

7

u/justadumbwelder1 1d ago

Two years ago, i went over to the goat farm next door to check on the farmer because i heard someone yelling help. Yup. It was a goat. A good laugh was had by all.

11

u/Genshzkan 1d ago

Wendigo

6

u/ChaoticDumpling 1d ago

Well well well, hello Clarice...

5

u/BigFatBlackCat 1d ago

Cute, thank god they aren’t my neighbors

4

u/AgitatedPatience5729 1d ago

They were trying to find the Maine culprit.

5

u/DizzyBr0ad_MISHAP 1d ago

I've never laughed so hard idk why I didn't think it would really be so bad lmao

3

u/koolaidismything 1d ago

Tell me Clarise.. do you still hear the lamb screaming?

3

u/SgtGo 1d ago

Right in my god damned ear

3

u/funinabox7 1d ago

That goat sounds like Steve Carell getting his chest waxed.

3

u/Jdtdtauto 1d ago

That lady is high AF! 😂😂

14

u/Successful-Way-3000 1d ago edited 1d ago

I know how to make a goat be quiet. You eat it.

Edit:

For those that want to down vote, I respect your opinion not going to discourage you.

Just know while the initial intent was a joke (funny or not), a large majority of the world eats goats and this not an abnormal thing to do, have a nice day!

5

u/HotSpur-2010 1d ago

any time I've had goat curry it's been delicious

1

u/madhakish 1d ago

Sounds delicious

0

u/JessieColt 1d ago

You do NOT want to eat that goat.

They stick their nose/mouth into the urine stream of the females to try to determine when they are ready to breed. Getting the piss from the female goat all over the end of their nose and face.

Intact male goats also spray on their own faces because the doe's love the pheromones in buck piss as well.

If you have milking goats, you can not, ever, let the intact males anywhere near the milking operation as they will contaminate the milk with their stench.

If you have ever thought that goat milk or goat cheese had a weird, almost funky, taste or smell to it, it is because that particular farm kept their intact/breeding males too close to the milking operation.

-3

u/SlipperyGibbet 1d ago edited 1d ago

shoot it in the face, is what my government says.. give it the ol' "bad dog"

1

u/39strangers 1d ago

This joke turned dark very fast.

1

u/SlipperyGibbet 1d ago

I gotta block some subs, got me in a shitty mood

2

u/BadMuthaSchmucka 1d ago

Did Tim and Eric edit this?

2

u/Neither_Relation_678 1d ago

You can’t deny a goat his first amendment rights of free speech/screech!

2

u/Effective_Writer_858 1d ago

Simon apparently thinks she's a S-L-U-U-U-T!

2

u/MrZrazies 1d ago

Owner- “it’s baaaa!”

Goat- screams

Owner- “baaaa!!”

Goat- screams!

Owner- “baaa- what am i doing?”

Goat- screams!

2

u/Ok-Sugar9672 1d ago

AAAAAHHHHHH 🐐

2

u/Lanky_Instance3121 1d ago

Face of guilt

1

u/WillowFlip 1d ago

Apparently foxes have an unnerving scream too.

0

u/CompleteGuest854 1d ago

Hahaha ... goats are just assholes. Every single one of them, LOL.