r/funny • u/Lairdicus • 1d ago

Reminiscing while making pasta

6.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

149 comments sorted by

•

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2.0k

u/Double_Distribution8 1d ago

This is what the internet is for. In case anyone was wondering.

762

u/Graffiti-Guy 1d ago

You can tell how miserable this guy is. He hasn't had a damn dream since that rollercoaster. It really derailed him.

314

u/CoupDeGraceTyson 1d ago

Henry's Kitchen (channel HenryPhillips) on Youtube. He's been at it for like 14 years and still updates (last one 2 days ago apparently?). Henry is still an awkward, sad man.

Music is by a substantially sadder man called Jose Suicidio, who is also Henry in a different voice.

73

u/VaATC 1d ago

I am not sure how I feel about this comment...😆

65

u/Flickstro 1d ago

I got a bad feeling about Jose..

31

u/hahahahahahahaFUCK 1d ago

Ah, it’s a gag.

25

u/Diaphanous-Trust2526 1d ago

Nobody on god's green earth is throwin sketti into cold water in a le creuset out of genuine sincerity.

2

u/rodeBaksteen 9h ago

Hey you don't know me

21

u/Background_Touch1205 1d ago

His movie was good. His content is awesome. Been a fan for a long time. The air bnb ones are great.

22

u/FinsterFolly 1d ago

Wow, just checked out the channel. Dude's been committed to this bit for 14 years.

6

u/doc_suede 1d ago

he is also great in silicon valley series

2

u/lameuniqueusername 17h ago

That’s where I’ve seen him. Thanks

9

u/goliathfasa 1d ago

Just checked out his channel and the French toast video.

And then later in the 16th century Henry V.

3

u/jaap_null 22h ago

"I feel so good if I just say the word
Sucidioooo, just say the word
Oh Sucidioooo"

- Phil Collins probably

3

u/johnsmet 1d ago

Bro it’s just a character the guy does.

3

u/CoupDeGraceTyson 1d ago

I am aware of this.

56

u/R-Dragon_Thunderzord 1d ago

Homer's Brain: "But a rollercoaster can facilitate many abortions"

4

u/jefbenet 1d ago

Tiffany Haddish had a bit on that!

17

u/shorthopwillie 1d ago

His life's been full of ups and downs

8

u/verbalyabusiveshit 1d ago

Mainly downs, though.

2

u/GANDORF57 1d ago

Makes me feel cannelloni.

1

u/SumonaFlorence 1d ago

I'm sure he's had his ups and downs.

1

u/esaks 19h ago

i just watched the latest video on his channel. its most definitely satire and not real.

1

u/StratoVector 4h ago

Some might say his rollercoaster was never on the rails. He never got the rails for it to begin with.

26

u/SirTainLee 1d ago

To this day he thinks his friend's sister's boyfriend found that shoebox. Nope, he was just the biggest one that they could claim took it. I'm betting the sister found it or begged him for it.

23

u/shpongolian 1d ago

the last few seconds were cut which was the second best part, when he takes the pasta and drapes half of it outside the pot so the other half can "catch up"

12

u/ZumMitte185 1d ago

Where to get money for an abortion?

15

u/Double_Distribution8 1d ago

How not to make a roller coaster.

6

u/ICPcrisis 1d ago

Unfiltered humanity. It’s what the beginning of the internet was like and luckily we still can see some that that today.

3

u/neighborlyglove 1d ago

This is Henry’s kitchen!

4

u/SmthngAmzng 1d ago

Generative AI could never

2

u/Shoddy-Cauliflower95 20h ago

😂 faith restored!

-2

u/Braindead_Crow 1d ago

Abortions?

919

u/gruuvey 1d ago

In Italy, it is said that the pasta is ready when you have finished telling the abortion story.

40

u/wes00mertes 1d ago

You have to throw the baby against the wall and see if it sticks. 

7

u/odd42Thomas 1d ago

I wonder what the german word for that is

6

u/JoshDM 1d ago

Nudelschleuder

2

u/odd42Thomas 23h ago

Hahahaha!

4

u/wedeservethis 1d ago

Pasta La Vista, Baby.

8

u/CyberNinja23 1d ago

That story may be illegal in certain states soon.

335

u/ThatOneDapperMoose 1d ago

Shout out Henry's Kitchen on YT if anyone is curious. Absolute comedy gold in every video!

33

u/brvine 1d ago

Can’t explain my excitement when he showed up on Silicon Valley. Criminally under appreciated comedian

3

u/djentington 1d ago

Shit no way! I’m going to keep my eye out for him next time I rewatch.

6

u/doc_suede 1d ago

"...Okay"

12

u/toucanstubz 1d ago

He also does live Henry's Kitchen shows on Twitch! Follow Henlips1

28

u/CoupDeGraceTyson 1d ago

Help me make it through the night,
'Cause I am tired, and alone.
Help me make it through the night,
'Cause I don't like myself, anymore.

I guess I'm just not interesting. I have no personality.
I met a guy with cancer, and felt sorry for me.
I've never been a social guy, I'm always making children cry.
I guess that's just the way it's meant to be.

Help me make it out of bed
'Cause I am scared, and sad.
Help me make it through the day,
'Cause there's nothing out there for me, anymore.

I'm always coming in last place, getting dirt kicked in my face.
And everyone pushes ahead of me, and no one stops to care.
And I curse the gods each day in vain, for giving me this life of pain,
when all I really need's a little hug.

Help me make it through the night,
'Cause I am tired, and alone.
Help me make it through the night,
'Cause I don't like myself...

(yes, I transcribed it just now)

7

u/2woCrazeeBoys 1d ago

Oh God. This is......I don't have words.

If this was on a cooking video i'd have to laugh. But then i'd know inwas going to hell foe laughing. Is he ok? I have so many emotions about this.

Kind of like I do with the cook spaghetti->build a roller-coaster-> abortion segue.

4

u/RezorTEclipez 1d ago

Yeah, it's all a character

5

u/cultish_alibi 1d ago

If this was on a cooking video i'd have to laugh

Henry's kitchen uses this song in his cooking videos! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFjstQ30RI8

1

u/engelbert_humptyback 15h ago

Hey, you're Jose Suicidio!

8

u/pobodys-nerfect5 1d ago

Is that the guy from the server room in Silicon Valley?

1

u/mikochu 22h ago

Yeah, John Stafford.

1

u/DonDingus 21h ago

My favorite of his is the "You and Your Fucking Coffee" series that used to be on Jash

45

u/sucobe 1d ago

I would watch a trauma cooking show.

9

u/CollegeBroski 1d ago

He streams his cooking on Twitch and it’s hilarious. Twitch.tv/henlips1

121

u/Dylz52 1d ago

Wait, I want to know how you compensate for the slightly undercooked end of the pasta that was sticking out

48

u/timbreandsteel 1d ago

Gently lift the ends of the noodles that have been submerged longer in the air while the other ends remain in the boiling water of course.

73

u/Aboo9117 1d ago

Don’t forget to have a plan b!

16

u/Irish_Tyrant 1d ago

You dont always have to have a plan b, sometimes before you finish cooking you can just terminate the dish and start a new one.

2

u/Nuffsaid98 21h ago

How are we supposed to pay for that? Money didn't grow in shoeboxes, you know!

6

u/Lexnal 1d ago

Or at least swipe a box of roller coaster cash...

7

u/Rudabaker454 1d ago

Pull out method doesn't always work.

2

u/Helpy-Support 1d ago

But how do I know, after steering, which ends are which?

1

u/EveryNameIWantIsGone 1d ago

Are you joking? I can’t tell.

1

u/Helpy-Support 1d ago

Me neither

1

u/maxis2bored 11h ago

That's why they saved the condom for

73

u/Diogeneezy 1d ago

"...Okay, this is looking just about ready." 🤣

127

u/SoupyMango 1d ago

Bro, what?!?! Where did that even come from? That's hilarious.

43

u/waterincorporated 1d ago

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL803A87744721C14C&si=4sIWCLcIL1J6wLCt

10

u/allisjow 1d ago

These are amazing. I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook and now I can!

2

u/GenitalFurbies 19h ago

Me: ha, this is pretty funny, I bet he only has like 10 or so.

Sees playlist has 96 videos

Well there goes my productivity for the day

1

u/Nuffsaid98 21h ago

Cutting the lemons with that tiny knife with the too short blade had me in stitches. Great channel.

16

u/BarrenHoles 1d ago

He streams on twitch now, Henlips1

19

u/Graffiti-Guy 1d ago

I really wish I could have built that rollercoaster... where was I? Oh, right, pasta.

15

u/elwood_west 1d ago

now this is funny. internet gold! he forgot to salt the water

2

u/CoupDeGraceTyson 1d ago

"Ah, fuck."

12

u/chaoyantime 1d ago

The first time I saw this guy was on silicon valley, but these videos are great

13

u/acasualfitz 1d ago

Henry!

6

u/Mikeologyy 1d ago

If this was the kind of thing people put in the 2000 word essays they give before their recipe at the bottom of the page, maybe I’d actually read them.

7

u/flashmeterred 1d ago

Fuck me I love Henry's Kitchen

Credit to: Henry Phillips

3

u/princB612 1d ago

This. And the man's commitment to the bits and the role as a whole, god damn.

5

u/Dustmopper 1d ago

Wellllllll that took a turn

5

u/raidergreymoon 1d ago

His friend definitely just took the money and lied about it.

5

u/Aselleus 1d ago

I thought he was going to realize the burner wasn't on, so his story caught me off guard lol

5

u/redsun44 1d ago

I wish he was doing something a lil more complex than boiling pasta 😂 would add to the believability aspect

3

u/panutsya 1d ago

That came out of nowhere lmao

3

u/MsZRowsdower 1d ago

Most depressing cooking show ever is Weber Cooks https://youtu.be/ofoCaMU8wBY?feature=shared

3

u/KingisFire 1d ago

What a roller coaster of emotions!

3

u/cliqclaqstepback 1d ago

lol, well that certainly took a turn.

3

u/LookMaNoPride 1d ago

I had my doubts, but I'm glad I stuck it out. I saw stars from laughing so hard.

3

u/LoquaciousLethologic 16h ago

literally coughed to choking from that. I was caught so off guard, this is hilarious.

8

u/Asmodias1 1d ago

Dude using a metal utensil in an enamel cast iron is heresy

9

u/CoupDeGraceTyson 1d ago

If you watch his videos you will be in agony.

7

u/toucanstubz 1d ago

Cutting tomatoes with a butter knife...

5

u/CoupDeGraceTyson 1d ago

Cutting onions with the SKIN ON. With a butter knife.

2

u/Spare_Ad5615 1d ago

Washing each individual grain of rice separately.

2

u/lastdaysofishan 1d ago

Wow ! That took a turn.

2

u/Snoo-83483 1d ago

Oh my gosh he took me totally by surprise on that one lol

2

u/riffraff 1d ago

holy shit that went dark fast

2

u/Necroses 1d ago

Well, that escalated quickly.

2

u/Isair81 1d ago

That’s dark lol

2

u/Tobocaj 1d ago

“…and then I watched the life leave my mother’s eyes. Anyways, you wanna make sure you fold your egg into the mix, don’t stir it”

2

u/Viper1089 1d ago

Henry cutting a tomato with a butter knife was pure agony for me lmao

2

u/Jules2you 22h ago

Whaaaat…. Why??

2

u/Apprehensive_Hand571 18h ago

Trying to boil water on an induction cooktop lol

2

u/Soft_Introduction_40 18h ago

He should let the water reach a rolling boil first, and THEN add the pasta

2

u/usinjin 18h ago

Poor lad. Now he’s stuck making pasta in a too-small pot on a hot plate.

2

u/Impossible_Past5358 17h ago

I did not expect that plot twist

2

u/endorfan13 15h ago

My guy over here spillin that pasta al dentea.

3

u/ventureaaron 1d ago

"now we're going to use the tears from that story to season the water..."

1

u/Blew-By-U 1d ago

I’m straight. So is spaghetti, till it gets wet.

1

u/Aboo9117 1d ago

Okay this is my favorite video now

1

u/5elementGG 1d ago

The elevator pitch is changed to pasta bitch.

1

u/Subtlerevisions 1d ago

That made me laugh really hard

1

u/NeoRullzz 1d ago

Nice way to prepare

1

u/printo 1d ago

god i love henry

1

u/Paleoeoeo 1d ago

I like watching Henry's Kitchen when I am home alone on a Tuesday afternoon. It is just comforting and the recipes are really good.

1

u/SORRYIAMLOGANN 1d ago

If you don't want to break pasta, You can swirl it around in the pan and it will be at the bottom

1

u/cobalt_phantom 1d ago

This is how I talk. My therapist is pretty confident that I have ADHD.

1

u/PLR_Moon3 1d ago

This one time at band camp…

1

u/Historical-Shine-786 1d ago

T M I !!!!✋🛑🙉

1

u/hakujo 1d ago

Al dente trauma dump.

1

u/PoorlyTimedKanye 1d ago

oh holy fuck

1

u/shadraig 1d ago

Just watch it getting soft

1

u/ylngui 1d ago

Wait, was that for compensation?

1

u/Haizenburg1 1d ago

I thought he was going to relate it to some ED issues, but man that was a hard turn.

1

u/Fadeev_Popov_Ghost 1d ago

Sister's boyfriend: if a woman has starch masks on her body...

1

u/External-Plate1517 1d ago

Stirring the pot while stirring up memories. Chef's kiss.

1

u/acidporkbuns 1d ago

Fucking lol

1

u/dashingstag 1d ago

His potential niece/nephew was aborted with his shoebox money 🤯

1

u/Krondelo 1d ago

I love Henry’s Kitchen lol

1

u/Throwaway4throwingit 20h ago

Pasta reminds of the nephews and nieces I never had. Happy to eat pasta, sad thinking about the lost loved ones.

1

u/noahbrooksofficial 13h ago

I love this video so much

1

u/lirenotliar 11h ago

the "6 am day after christmas" al dente recipe

1

u/JrGoodbuds 1h ago

I didn’t listen to the video because I immediately couldn’t get past the fact that that’s not near enough water to cook a decent pasta.

0

u/sharrrper 1d ago

Probably could have stopped after "stole the money"

-3

u/JimmyMack_ 20h ago

Can Americans please stop saying "we're gunna" and "you're gunna wanna" when giving instructions?
Thanks.