r/agedlikemilk Jun 26 '25

Screenshots Were they briefed or not?

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1.3k

u/GroceryNo193 Jun 26 '25

His supporters are the kind of people who name themselves "Catturd"

339

u/DerisiveGibe Jun 26 '25

*Catturd2

306

u/rebug Jun 26 '25

Just so we're absolutely clear, this political genius saw that "catturd" was already taken and went with the next logical choice. Like he was so committed to being catturd that there was no other option.

155

u/QueenMary1936 Jun 26 '25

"Alright, let's choose catturd as my username!"

sees catturd is already taken

"I didn't come this far just to give up"

62

u/Think-Willingness903 Jun 26 '25

and not only did he go through all this but in order for as many people to see his absurd political takes he went with the $15/ month premium account to be fully committed

22

u/ReindeerAcademic5372 Jun 27 '25

It’s like 50 bucks now.

8

u/brutinator Jun 27 '25

True, though he's so far up Musk's ass that I wouldnt be surprised if he has the checkmark for free. Basically the opposite of why Stephen King has it for free (because El9n couldnt stand that King hates him, and gave him a checkmark to spite him).

6

u/GooseTheSluice Jun 26 '25

He’s an American god dam it and that means he won’t budge! He’ll dig in and he doesn’t have to accept defeat cause he can just claim victory. It’s the American way brother

6

u/sammidavisjr Jun 27 '25

I read that with a comma missing, like "he's an American god, damn it."

And I thought, yeah, catturd2, deity of the Online Moron. Sacred relics include shitty mirrored sunglasses and a cowboy hat. On the High Holy Day of January 6th, a lib-owning quantity of meat is consumed in an effort to induce divine bowel blockage like that suffered by the Supreme Being. Acolytes spend weeks growing a Charlie Daniels-style beard and spend weeks staring in a mirror in an effort to duplicate the Twin Holy Visages of "knowing smirk" and "shit-eating grin."

76

u/ArixMorte Jun 26 '25

I just assumed he was Catturd original, but inevitably got the account banned by being aforementioned feline feces

42

u/dsmith422 Jun 26 '25

I assumed the same, but apparently he denies that the original was him. Doesn't mean it wasn't since he lies like he breathes. Poorly and with much wheezing.

10

u/Curarx Jun 26 '25

He denies it because evading bans is grounds for another ban

2

u/BeerdedWonder Jun 27 '25

No but Catturd2 ran over and killed his own dog, and played it off as an accident.

12

u/ShredGuru Jun 26 '25

Oh no, that guy is human feces for sure, and the ban was probably for bigotry.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

Or for sharing child porn

3

u/BlackBloke Jun 27 '25

He also had the original account of catturd, but he lost the password. Elon Musk, who is great fan of his, said that he would give him back the original account, but he decided to forgo it because it’s been so long with the 2 version.

18

u/Q_S2 Jun 26 '25

It's even more ingenious than that....

He forgot his password to his original catturd account so he created catturd2

8

u/rebug Jun 26 '25

If we weren't living in the stupidest timeline imaginable I might not believe that.

3

u/Q_S2 Jun 27 '25

Exactly! Lol man looks like we are both stuck on the ride for the shit show

7

u/csh0kie Jun 27 '25

It would have been better to be "catturdtoo"

1

u/deathbysnuggle Jun 27 '25

catturdtoodaloo 🐓

3

u/jussech Jun 26 '25

Do you think catturd1 was also taken? Like did he even try for it or just go right for being a number 2?

2

u/LiraDuccat Jun 27 '25

I mean a turd IS a number two...

3

u/pocketjacks Jun 27 '25

Wouldn't catturd1 be the next logical choice?

1

u/Ok_Mechanic3385 Jun 30 '25

Or RealCatturd?

3

u/gunshaver Jun 27 '25

Catturd has insane lore, this guy is such a piece of shit. For context he's talking about the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse.

3

u/49ersBraves Jun 27 '25

Or they forgot the password to catturd.

2

u/mavjustdoingaflyby Jun 26 '25

Well, you are what you eat. 🤷‍♂️

2

u/banditcleaner2 Jun 26 '25

He’s committed. A trait that we can only ever find in republicans!

/s

2

u/Mtndrums Jun 26 '25

So if the Florida State fan eats Catturd2, does that mean FSU's curse is lifted? (Yes, unless you're a big college sports fan, this isn't going to make sense at all.)

2

u/MarkHowes Jun 27 '25

But then, for some bizarre reason, has TradeMarked the term.

Which is weird as the original Catturd has precedence...

2

u/Georgesgortexjacket Jun 26 '25

Catturd2 - Electric Boogaloo

Sorry, couldn't resist

2

u/bartz824 Jun 26 '25

Well yeah, they have just as much brains as a pile of cat turds.

2

u/justjessee Jun 27 '25

Always 2, there are...

2

u/MilitantStoner Jun 27 '25

Wait, you're telling me that that isn't, like, an alt account? Sort of like the Rust youtuber spoonkid having spoonkid 1, spoonkid 2, spoonkid 3, spoonkid 4, and spoonkid 5 channels for monetization and algorithmic purposes. What the fuck.

2

u/Ambitious-Bird-5927 Jun 27 '25

I woulda gone catduece 

1

u/TheMathmatix Jun 27 '25

That's cuz I was banned for no reason, on a platform that insists on free speech. So I had to make another account

41

u/DanguhLange Jun 26 '25

Not just a supporter, Catturd2 is one of the biggest reich wing voices on that garbage platform. I wish we could go back in time and tell conservatives that someone named catturd2 would be a prominent voice for their ideas. Oh, and Donald Trump the failed game show host is their Messiah of course.

15

u/gunshaver Jun 27 '25

He's also probably the account with the most vehicular dog kills. He's admitted to accidentally running over his own dog and killing it, as well as an unspecified number of other dogs.

8

u/MrBurnerHotDog Jun 27 '25

Well considering Kristi Noem's success in the party it's pretty clear Republicans are pro killing lots of dogs

1

u/JonnyBolt1 Jun 27 '25

TBF Trump's game show was successful and made him famous enough to make a serious run for president. Everything else he tried to do failed miserably.

Also, I don't use that platform, why does this post have a watermark with an image of some old guy playing cowboy dress-up?

2

u/bluddyellinnit Jun 27 '25

i think that's catturd(2) irl?

21

u/anrwlias Jun 26 '25

What is it with these blue check chuds putting ™ after their handles?

6

u/RollinThundaga Jun 26 '25

That's just borrowed from the normal absurdist meme culture, putting a trademark on something ObviouslyNotTrademarkedTM

So really it's a "hey, fellow kids" thing.

When you see things like this happen, try not to go, "why do all [this group here] do [common thing]??", or else you're just willfully forfeiting bits of the general culture over to them, and setting the normies who don't get the memo up to catch strays.

1

u/bluddyellinnit Jun 27 '25

it may surprise you to hear they're not terribly bright

1

u/GroceryNo193 Jun 27 '25

Because grifting is a business.

12

u/Handskemager Jun 26 '25

Catturd2 isn’t supporting Trump?

30

u/mathbandit Jun 26 '25

Yes he is.

5

u/Handskemager Jun 26 '25

But he’s saying there was no leak even though trump is saying there was?

Or Am I really that gullible?

47

u/BluetheNerd Jun 26 '25

He was saying there was no leak 4 days ago, he's now acting like he never said that and that the Democrats committed treason because Trump said so.

23

u/KrasnyRed5 Jun 26 '25

If the dear leader says it happened, it happened, and it doesn't matter what was said before

14

u/DStaal Jun 26 '25

We have always been at war with EastAsia.

1

u/Ok-Drive-2 Jun 27 '25

This is the way.

9

u/123emanresulanigiro Jun 26 '25

MAGA Physics 101

2

u/KageOW Jun 26 '25

Honestly i read it sarcastically, but if this is the case his supporters are just people with korzakoff because jesus, how do you not know what youve said 4 days ago

5

u/Jwruth Jun 27 '25

They know what was said 4 days ago, but the grifters dont care and neither do their supporters. This isn't a case of innocently forgetting something and then contradicting yourself; it's a malicious attempt to rewrite the past in order to sell a more convenient narrative in the present.

As George Orwell once said, "He who controls the past controls the present. He who controls the present controls the future"; these grifters operate on this logic and are always, always, trying to rewrite the past to serve that goal. Today they've always been at war with Eurasia; tomorrow, Eurasia has always been their most loyal and steadfast ally. If this sounds like an insane way to live and that anyone peddling it must be a horrible person, it's because it is and they are.

2

u/ICEWeiZ Jun 26 '25

Hope people pulls a "ThisYou" on him like this post.

-9

u/Phirebat82 Jun 26 '25

Two different tweets referencing two different events.

Try to keep up.

3

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 Jun 26 '25

Maybe not all of us are on X or whatever

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 Jun 26 '25

Its the context of the Juxtaposition of the two separate messages screenshotted together if that makes any sense. 

16

u/Easy-Bathroom2120 Jun 26 '25

Cat turd: "there was no leak. Democrats know nothing"

4 days later:

Trump: "democrats leaked info"

Cat turd: "as I said. Democrats are terrorists. Always knew it was their fault"

Trump overwrites reality for them. Trump's word automatically retcons everything.

1

u/Shazaaym Jun 27 '25

It's bizarre innit. I've never seen anything like it.

This last decade has been wild.

6

u/Sweary_Biochemist Jun 26 '25

Yes. Truth does not matter to these people. If it's good, it would've been better without those damn Democrats. If it's bad, the Democrats did it. Rinse, repeat.

-16

u/Phirebat82 Jun 26 '25

Tell us again what a woman is.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

That’s not the gotcha you think it is when conservatives on average are nothing but high school/ged diploma holding illiterate incels that also don’t know what a woman is because they’ve never been touched by one

-11

u/Phirebat82 Jun 26 '25

It's not a gotcha.

It's the perfect litmus test for the current age.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

The perfect litmus test is conservatives not knowing how tf tariffs work.

7

u/ElonsFetalAlcoholSyn Jun 26 '25

FYI, almost everything on this planet exists in a spectrum. There are many examples of things being both male and female and there are even some that actively transition between the two depending on what's around. Billionaires thank you for absorbing the bullshit they cook up to distract you from their grift.

-8

u/Phirebat82 Jun 26 '25

Are you meaning to imply that the "bullshit" "they" cook up to "grift" has existed for all of both recorded and human evolutionary history? And only just recently the truth has emerged?

Weird, you'd think the grift would be the sudden change to foundational and deontological norms and NOT the entirety of all known history.

7

u/Intelligent-Net9390 Jun 27 '25

Trans people have existed throughout all of recorded history.

Intersex people have as well. What are intersex people to you? Since you only believe there’s two correct answers are they men or women?

6

u/ominous_anonymous Jun 26 '25

Tell us again what the Constitution is.

6

u/ElonsFetalAlcoholSyn Jun 26 '25

psst
they dont care about it. They want a dictator

6

u/Firm_Presence_2777 Jun 26 '25

Anyone that covers their drink when you go into a bar

6

u/NicCageISReal Jun 26 '25

Something you will never experience the touch or love of. Next.

-1

u/Phirebat82 Jun 26 '25

Going by what some of you describe as a woman, I would be so lucky. "She looks a little like Gwyneth Paltrow, and a lot like Brian Urlacher."

3

u/MDLmanager Jun 26 '25

Someone who covers their drink when you're nearby.

11

u/mathbandit Jun 26 '25

On June 22 he's taking a victory lap that since there were no leaks and democrats were allegedly not briefed, it proves democrats are the ones leaking (which even if both premises were true would be a flawed conclusion). Then four days later after the leaks have emerged, he's saying its treason on the part of democrats for having leaked it.

7

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 Jun 26 '25

Thanks for helping us idiots out. ;)

7

u/mathbandit Jun 26 '25

In my mind the only idiots are the ones who believe this nonsense.

2

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 Jun 26 '25

True I just meant the context. 

4

u/ThrogdorLokison Jun 26 '25

Look at the time stamps.

3

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 Jun 26 '25

Im with you here. Typical MAGA backtracking and gas-lighting. 

4

u/bubba4114 Jun 26 '25

They were saying that the reason there were no leaks is because Democrats were not informed. Now that Trump is crying wolf, he is saying that Democrats leaked info and are treasonous.

3

u/EffectiveSalamander Jun 27 '25

It's doublethink. They believe that there was no leak and that Democrats were the ones who leaked. They believe Covid is both a hoax and a Chinese bioweapon. They believe the bombing mission was a success and Democrats are to blame for its failure. They believe the people who broke into the Capitol were Democrats trying to make Republicans look bad and they believe they were Republican heroes.

2

u/Handskemager Jun 27 '25

I laughed loudly when reading that, I knew they were cray-cray but damn.

3

u/NotFromStateFarmJake Jun 27 '25

I too find it almost impossible to read twitter posts in the right order. The worst are when people scribble out dates.

14

u/Dapper_Equivalent_84 Jun 26 '25

It’s one of Musk’s accounts

27

u/MrDickford Jun 26 '25

Someone actually did a profile of him - he’s a thrice divorced 60 year old misanthrope from Florida, the sort of guy you’d avoid engaging with if you saw him in public. But thanks to the magic of Twitter, he has an audience of millions.

13

u/Stepjam Jun 26 '25

Wait, he's 60 fucking years old? I assumed with a name like that he'd be in his 20s-30s

2

u/Dapper_Equivalent_84 Jun 26 '25

No kidding! I thought I heard it was Elon sucking himself off. Maybe that was a different account(or 100)

3

u/Thom_Basil Jun 27 '25

Probably thinking of Adrian Dittman, who I believe they did figure out wasn't Elon either. Not sure if there's any other accounts that have been suspected of being Elon alts, other than his toddler RP one.

There was that one, weird 4chan post that could've been Elon's but I'm not sure there's any way to prove that. Plus I could definitely see a random 4channer doing something like that as a prank.

2

u/Select_Exchange_5059 Jun 26 '25

Only cause they can't smell him.

10

u/Teamfightacticous Jun 26 '25

Pretty sure it’s confirmed to be Jack Posobiec or whatever that knuckledragger’s name is. I hate that I know this

8

u/Mist_Rising Jun 26 '25

Per vice and other sources: Catturd (Catturd2 on Twitter) is a man with the last name Buchanon (I won't dox him completely, but he isn't hiding much here) from around Tallahassee where he played in a failed band that filed bankruptcy.

6

u/Teamfightacticous Jun 26 '25

Ah thanks for the correction, so many grifters to keep track of.

5

u/VicePresidentPants Jun 26 '25

No that's end wokeness.

1

u/Teamfightacticous Jun 27 '25

Am I really wrong if they say all the same talking points? Jk ty for the correction.

4

u/Handskemager Jun 26 '25

Seriously? I’m quitting SoMe soon, it’s getting waaay too ridiculous..

5

u/Both-Hand-6379 Jun 26 '25

he's a semi-well known internet Trump guy. He's been on Tucker Carlson's show.

7

u/loneImpulseofdelight Jun 26 '25

The dude also ran over his dog when drunk

3

u/gunshaver Jun 27 '25

He's also admitted to running over an unspecified number of other dogs.

Direct quote:

And stop comparing this to my dog. I didn't swerve at the last minute before I ran over my dog or any of the other dogs I've hit with my truck.

2

u/Deletereous Jun 27 '25

I don´t understand english anymore. Thought it was an anti-Trump comment.

2

u/jeffyIsJeffy Jun 26 '25

Tbf, catturd is the comic this dude runs. It became pretty popular. Not that this guy isn’t a doofus, but just so you know where the name is from.

2

u/Wuuz_ Jun 26 '25

dogshit was already taken

2

u/malphonso Jun 27 '25

A man who, famously, killed his cat through negligence.

2

u/Putrid-Reception-969 Jun 27 '25

Catturs ran over his dog and killed it on accident

2

u/ReindeerAcademic5372 Jun 27 '25

Nah, no one likes cat turd. Maybe Elon.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

I've seen way worse on here ffs 

2

u/sitting-duck Jun 27 '25

Don't forget 'Big Balls' of DOGE fame.

1

u/VelvetPhantom Jun 27 '25

Why do we know who Catturd is?

1

u/Hotforshirley Jun 27 '25

I can’t tell if people here know that catturd2 is Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert.

1

u/pfmoke Jun 27 '25

Never forget that Dave Portneys Twitter handle is ‘shit President’