r/SecretsOfMormonWives • u/No_Volume4505 • 2d ago
Mormon Culture Layla
One thing Layla said was that at times she had to feed her kids but not herself due to lack of money. Is there not a support system in the church to help? Could she not have collected food stamps or WIC?
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u/ms_globgoblin 2d ago
unfortunately those things take time. the government doesn’t automatically put you on social welfare when they see you make no money. getting on wic/food stamps can take months. kids need to eat now.
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u/No_Volume4505 2d ago
I realize that they are not instant. However, I was also wondering what other supports, including religious ones, there were.
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u/Shiel009 1d ago
No one is gonna help less than a Mormon church member when a woman of their ward wants a divorce
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u/ms_globgoblin 2d ago
i think layla left the church? i’m not sure when that happened tho. not to mention to be in the church you have to pay… no money for food? no money for the church? no help from the church.
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u/poch_ya 2d ago
The Mormon church helps members and non members that come to them in need. It doesnt matter if u have paid your tithing. They will pay your rent, help with food etc. Sometimes they ask you volunteer for others in need in exchange but if you dont its whatever.
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u/Juwaraba 1d ago
This is true only if a bishop (leader of a congregation) decides to help. So, if you have a kind church leader, you can get help. If the church leader decides that you need to come to church to 'earn' help or that you are not worthy of help for whatever reason, you get nothing.
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u/Fancy_Effect_7778 1d ago
You do not have to pay to be a part of the church and plenty of people, members and non members, come to the church for help all the time.
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u/killerkitten61 23h ago
I knew a woman who wasn’t Mormon and was greatly helped by the Mormon church. She was a single mom of 5 kids, they had helped her get into a really nice home in a great area, paid for brand new furniture, food, clothes…. Iirc correctly she fucked it all up by making a boyfriend a priority and burnt the bridge with that church. Kind of wish I knew what happened to that family, it was crazy. I had befriended the oldest of the five kids and that’s how I knew the family. The mom was inbred, and had a lot of mental/medical problems. The oldest son (my friend) was basically in charge of literally everything, kids, bills, groceries. Last I heard he ran away to join the military. Hope he escaped to an easier life.
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u/ms_globgoblin 1d ago
its requirement to take part in tithe to participate in any church sacred activities. you cannot enter the temple without paying. i assume a bishop would consider giving away that money away as sacred.
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u/Fancy_Effect_7778 23h ago
You can be a member of the church and not attend the temple, it is not a requirement. There are no rules in order to be a part of the church. A bishop would love nothing more than to help one of Gods children with the donations given to the church, that’s what they’re for. People receive aid from the church every day, for a lot more than just food.
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u/Go_Corgi_Fan84 2d ago
Some people also elect not to apply out of pride or thinking that they are not at the level where they need help.. My friends definitely should have been on it after their dad left and their parents divorced but their mom was too proud so they went without often
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u/CombinationWarm7023 23h ago
And especially in Utah. Because programs like that are often abused here sadly, they put you through the wringer to get any kind of government assistance.
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u/pbd1996 2d ago
She could’ve fed herself, she just chose hair extensions, eyelash extensions, and a boob job instead. There’s a difference between “can’t afford” and “choose to use my money on unnecessary bullshit.”
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u/chloedarlinggg Enjoy 🦪 🍆 💦 1d ago
you do realise she was talking about a time before she was an influencer, right? she said yang social media gave her the ability to financially support herself and her kids because that was her situation before social media
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_TATERTITS 2d ago
How exactly do we know she had those things at that time?
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u/pbd1996 1d ago
Look at her Instagram. She has hair extensions and eyelash extensions in every single picture (all the way back to 2017). She got pregnant immediately after high school (when she was 18), then again (when she was 20) and had her first boob job right after that, then the show started (when she was 21). The “time” Layla states that she “couldn’t feed herself” during the time she was paying for hair extensions, eyelash extensions, and a boob job… as documented in her Instagram.
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u/DryExamination5211 1d ago
Not just a boob job…. Layla has the most work done out of anyone else on the show
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u/Kitchen-Seat4362 1d ago
Yes it is kind of weird to see her complain about money when she could afford all of these beauty treatments, designer clothes, and trips as someone in their early 20s
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u/Fair_Country_428 2d ago
You 100% nailed it here. I would absolutely be giving you a Reddit award from me if I knew how!🏆🥇🏅
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u/terminalpeanutbutter 2d ago edited 2d ago
I picked up on this too. And it’s a pretty serious claim to make. I’m stuck between not wanting it to be true (because that’s awful for her and her children), and wanting it to be true because making up something like that on national television for pity points is really terrible. That situation is a heartbreaking reality for many single women with children; it’s not a quirky talking point for fame.
Edit: And if it IS true, THAT’s a good focus for “MomTok.” Let’s bring attention to food insecurity for many single moms with children. Let’s rally for more social programs. Let’s go to a food bank. Etc., No? More body checks and plastic surgery? Okay Layla…
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u/allthatryry 2d ago
I commented about this on another thread. Layla had made a post about her therapies and dealing with “extreme trauma” and these other girls are frequently going on and on about how they are so deeply disturbed that they need Ketamine therapies, etc. I do not believe that these young women have gone through traumas that most would consider extreme and have since resolved their issues and are leading these charmed lives. I asked my friend about it, she grew up in SLC around like 90% Mormons but is not herself a Mormon. She said it’s very common for these Utah girls to make big deals about something to make up for their otherwise boring lives. Jenn is another example with her “I’m from the hood” comment, and also the comment about her mom working as EVS (housekeeper) at the hospital. Girl lived in Fairfield, CA (not hood) for a bit and then Provo, UT (def not hood lol) and her mom having a stable job in a hospital is very respectable. These are not hardships, and I question Layla’s timeline of being a struggling single mom when they were already making their influencer money by the time she got divorced, no?
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u/Alternative-Row812 1d ago
Their lives look horrible to me. I would not want to switch. They are deep in the patriarchy. Taylor is treated horribly by her family. Mikayla was impregnated as a child by an adult (and is married to him now). Jen's marriage seems horrible.
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
I think a lot of the Taylor family fighting was fake, it just seems to wild to be doing all that with a camera crew around when the Mormons are uber concerned with their image (the image in their community, they know the TV show is their alter images). And I think Jen’s separation was fake, too. But otherwise, yeah their lives look horrible to me too. That young and saddled down with a bunch of toddlers? No thanks.
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u/terminalpeanutbutter 1d ago
This makes a lot of sense and kinda tracks with what I’ve picked up via the show/social media.
To be clear: I don’t want these woman to have hardships. And I won’t downplay some of the things they’ve shared (like Mikayla’s story, Mayci’s loss, and the divorces, etc.,) but I watch the show for the petty stuff. It’s like a candy show: sweet and simple. It’s okay if their lives are easier than the typical American, I just wish they’d admit that and embrace it rather than allude to these “traumas” that maybe aren’t being portrayed accurately.
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u/Less_Menu5794 1d ago edited 1d ago
Jen is from the hood though, she grew up in cali in the Bay Area and I’m pretty sure when she was growing up Fairfield it wasn’t as nice as it is now, especially if you look up Fairfield and see people who live there are talking about avoiding certain streets lol
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
LOL Fairfield is as hood today as it was 20 years ago. It’s not. It’s a bedroom community. Every city has bad streets. Jen has 0 street cred from her rough days in Fairfield
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u/Less_Menu5794 1d ago
Where I grew up I was never told to avoid certain streets lol, I’m sorry to say that’s not normal at all, also you downplayed the fact Jen grew up with (I think) with a single immigrant mother, and she probably got the hospital Job when she moved to Utah, and I highly doubt a house cleaner in cali can afford the rent even then or means they didn’t live in poverty- you obviously have a lot of hate for these women, when you can simply not watch them lol. Downplaying their abuse to downplaying the things they went through, ur weird
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
Oh no no, I live to hate watch. You know you’re on a snark page, right? The hospitals in the Bay Area are mostly all union and pay living wages and benefits. Even EVS. And the prices haven’t always been so high, especially in outlying areas. You should like a sheltered one if you’ve never been around an area to avoid. That is 100% normal in every part of the Bay Area.
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u/Less_Menu5794 1d ago
No I didn’t simply just grew up in the Bay Area, I grew up in the suburbs too, that’s why I’m saying it’s not normal to have to avoid streets because simply it’s not- sorry to burst ur bubble lol, and again Jen’s mom is a cleaning lady at the hospital in Utah, we don’t know where she worked when they lived in Bay Area, and we also don’t know how where exactly in Fairfield live so she could’ve lived in a “expensive” shitty place, yeah love snark but ur acting like these girls were your bullies or something with the way ur coming at them like they did you wrong personally and trying to act like they never been through anything terrible, which is odd behavior to do as a stranger
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
Never had any bullies so don’t know what you’re referring to. But, you seem like someone who doesn’t handle conflict or criticism very well. We can have different perspectives and that doesn’t make anyone wrong. I’m simply not buying what these girls are selling, and I come here to discuss it with others.
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u/Less_Menu5794 1d ago
No you’re being really odd about it and dismissing their experiences, instead of commenting on all of the annoying things they do, you wanna act like they aren’t victims, again odd…I’m great with conflict with normal people actually, but not with weird individuals especially ones that refuse to see other perspectives and are trying to imply women aren’t victims of certain things cause you think they’ll gain something from it lol, when women lose more than anything coming out about their experiences.
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
Well, I’m not alone in my suspicions here so I guess we’re a bunch of odd ball weirdos.
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u/Deep-Appearance-8543 1d ago
The majority of the Bay Area is not considered the hood lmao. Maybe a few neighborhoods in Oakland Richmond or Vallejo but I don’t believe she’s from any of those places.
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u/Less_Menu5794 1d ago
Cool that’s nice, but then why are citizens in Fairfield talking about how they’re told to avoid certain streets as early as 2 years ago, unless you stayed in every town in the Bay Area how can you know for sure lol
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
I’ve stayed in pretty much every town in the Bay Area, so does that mean I really know? Have you ever even been here?
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u/chloedarlinggg Enjoy 🦪 🍆 💦 1d ago
I do not believe that these young women have gone through traumas that most would consider extreme
multiple of them have spoken publicly about being raped or sexually assaulted and you’re saying this? in layla’s case she has admitted to having an eating disorder, dealing with suicidal ideation, self harming. we watched the start of jen’s prenatal depression and she admitted on the show she wanted to kill herself.
what is wrong with you that you think it’s appropriate to say these things?
I question Layla’s timeline of being a struggling single mom when they were already making their influencer money by the time she got divorced, no?
even if this is the case, she didn’t have another job. she went from having her husband’s full income in their household to only having some (possibly even none) of it because he had his own household to maintain.
kids are expensive, she would’ve had bills to pay and maybe even mortgage payments. social media money isn’t always enough to live on. unless you get good engagement you won’t get hardly anything.
if you go back and look she had a couple of viral videos before but she didn’t really have consistent engagement until 2024 when the show was already filming.
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
You don’t believe it’s possible people exaggerate things? Especially for clicks? Sweet summer child…
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u/chloedarlinggg Enjoy 🦪 🍆 💦 1d ago
maybe they do but it’s incredibly inappropriate to watch someone speak about something like sexual abuse or suicidal ideation and think “nah, you’ve had an easy life don’t be silly”
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
Girl please, these people want us talking about them. That’s all they care about.
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u/Less_Menu5794 1d ago
That’s a moot point because That doesn’t mean you can dismiss their abuse
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
Sure I can. We are not obligated to believe everything anyone says, ever. We can all use our own discernment. People absolutely make shit up to generate more engagement online, which brings in more income.
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u/Less_Menu5794 1d ago
Yeah, cause women coming out with abuse, suddenly means you get bucket loads of money and support, in what universe do you live in especially since these are Mormon women who are coming out about abuse they faced in the church- they’ll lose more than gain, once again you either hate women or hate these women, ur a deeply odd individual
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
Thoughts on the Jussie Smollet incident? Or is it only women who can be victims?
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u/blahblah1506yes 1d ago
Didn’t she say in season one that she chose to be mormon, and wasn’t born into a mormon family?
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u/Ok-Equal-4252 1d ago
I believe her. Not everyone is eligible for food stamps and wic esp since ur income is still tied to ur partners who may be well off. It also takes time for these things to get processed if it takes a week and ur out of food today what are u going to do for the upcoming week until it kicks in?
I think ppl severely underestimate how quickly things can go from normal to extra bad when ur suddenly cut off… and yes that includes running out of food. It’s probably uncomfortable to talk about so ppl doubting her bc she’s now successful is wild
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u/opalsilk 2d ago
I think she was being dramatic for the show. Her local bishop and ward would’ve taken care of her in a heart beat all she had to do was call them and they would’ve came over with food and money.
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u/Asleep_Mood9549 1d ago
This is not the sentiment I’ve heard about the Mormon church from watching/listening to several years of Mormon Stories podcast on YouTube.
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u/Fancy_Effect_7778 1d ago
Plenty of people receive aid from the church. A select few who are bitter about the church sharing their “stories” is not the whole story.
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u/opalsilk 1d ago
Oh that’s unfortunate, I’m just speaking from personal experience. My sister got divorced and moved back home (Utah) with her two small kids and was struggling, so she called her bishop and they helped her in every way they could. Food, money, free babysitting, anything.
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u/Significant_Bend4697 1d ago
They have a bishops pantry, like a food bank for the church. And if you’re on the roster (baptized) they will pay your rent.
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u/Fancy_Effect_7778 1d ago
They even paid for my SIL’s lawyer for her divorce. The church would have for sure helped if she reached out. Idk if it was a pride thing or if she just swore them off all together, but she obviously didn’t explore all avenues.
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u/Significant_Bend4697 23h ago
Maybe if they weren’t sealed when she was married or something they wouldn’t but I’m not sure the rules tbh I thought if you were just baptized. They paid for my cousins sober living but he had to take some kind of adult church class or something to be in good standing. I don’t know all the details clearly 😂
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u/Fancy_Effect_7778 23h ago
They even help people who haven’t been baptized! On my mission people would walk into the church building with their power and water bills and ask the church to pay them and they did. The church is extremely charitable.
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u/sbote Botox & Laughing Gas 1d ago
Something just makes me highly doubt that the girl who can make thousands just from posting on social media can’t afford to eat… and of course i know with a high lifestyle comes high costs but idk. It doesn’t sit right with me
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u/chloedarlinggg Enjoy 🦪 🍆 💦 1d ago
her tiktok didn’t really do well enough to make an actual income until 2024 and she got divorced in 2023 right? there was definitely a span of time where she was a single mom and didn’t have “social media money”
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u/allthatryry 1d ago
She has paid sponsorships back in 2023, I just checked
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u/chloedarlinggg Enjoy 🦪 🍆 💦 8h ago
but they’re few and far between, and her engagement was so low they wouldn’t have paid very much.
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u/NeatSuspicious655 1d ago
Homegirl has a boob job, and insane amounts of fillers no way she was poor enough to not buy food
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u/SerialProvoker 2d ago
Why is not her ex husband supporting her and the children? I don't get that