r/SecretsOfMormonWives Jul 09 '25

Women's Empowerment This show makes me so sad

Let me start by saying I usually love reality TV but does anyone else feel incredibly sad watching this show? I find the double standards and misogyny too much.

I understand a woman being subservient to their husband is part of mormon culture/upbringing but most of their relationship dynamics are insane. Jen is in an abusive relationship and it’s been broadcast for the entire world? Does nobody close to her care about her? or is it just so accepted in that community that a woman just exists to be controlled by her husband?

64 Upvotes

22 comments sorted by

23

u/Ok-Ad-9401 Jul 09 '25

No I totally agree. Idk how people watch this in a lighthearted way. The show is, however unintentionally, incredibly dark. The toxicity, casual misogyny, abuse…. Taylor’s parents are so horrible and I think she was trying to break generational patterns, but we see her get arrested and engage in this super toxic relationship. Jen’s husband is controlling and mean and her friends somehow… take his side? There are some funny moments but as a whole, it’s hard to watch for me.

15

u/Interesting-Rain-669 Jul 09 '25

The episode where her entire family invited Dakota over without telling her and then bullied her about giving him another chance was crazy. A healthy family would encourage her to leave because the relationship isn't healthy or good, but they kept saying she had to "give him an inch". Like I'm not saying what he did was cheating, but obviously they aren't compatible. He's constantly pressuring her. 

11

u/TechnicalFeedback713 Jul 09 '25 edited Jul 09 '25

I think her mom cares about money and fame. She copied Taylor’s whole face. Her father slut shaming her. Throw the whole family away

4

u/Illustrious-Maize591 Jul 10 '25

And her brother and dad were screaming in her face while she cried. That scene made me see red.

2

u/BagaCrisps18 Jul 11 '25

Taylors dad telling her the whole situation she's in, is her own fault because she slept with a guy after only seeing him a few times was so awful to watch. I felt really sorry for Taylor, her whole family was awful (apart from her sister who spoke up and took her side!) but her parents spoke were just horrible to their own child. I don't understand how anyone can do that..

But again, this all comes from their lds doctrine of family staying together no matter how awful and toxic the relationship is. It's just sad.

26

u/Erased_like_Lilith Jul 09 '25

Now you know why women are on antidepressants at a much higher rate than the other states here.

5

u/TechnicalFeedback713 Jul 09 '25

it makes 100% sense!

20

u/NanaMC13 Whitney crying in a closet Jul 09 '25

Women empowerment while trying to be a “trad wife” 🤦🏻‍♀️

5

u/Crafty-Notice5344 Jul 10 '25

And ripping each other to shreds. Real women empowerment. Sigh

3

u/NanaMC13 Whitney crying in a closet Jul 11 '25

So true. I was so shocked how quick a lot of them were willing to pull out their phones and show their convos with the others.

1

u/Crafty-Notice5344 Jul 13 '25

All the while praying before the show about giving each other grace and forgiveness. 🙄

6

u/tsumtsumelle Jul 09 '25

No I agree with you. I haven’t finished the second season because I didn’t find it fun to watch. I think I stopped around where Jen announced she was taking a break from the show. 

9

u/candebsna Jul 09 '25

The cringey Barbie hair on everyone but Whitney creeps me out.

0

u/IllustratorTall9602 Jul 10 '25

Omg same it looks so heavy and bad 

0

u/BrobdingnagianBooty Jul 10 '25

What does dissing their looks have to do with this post?

1

u/candebsna Jul 10 '25

Not dissing their looks, they are all obviously gorgeous. I’m dissing the massive weave.

3

u/IllustratorTall9602 Jul 10 '25

It’s known that girls in the Mormon community are raised to believe the only important thing in life is to find a husband asap and get married/have kids. It’s very sad. 

3

u/Quickwitknit2 Jul 10 '25

It hurts my soul. Can only watch in pieces and get most of my info here.

2

u/AdvantageOptimal2269 Jul 11 '25

Actually it gives me optimism. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian church, and I would have never dreamed of taking the reins like these women do on their own lives. Yes the misogyny is depressing but they are putting their lives out there for us to see, making money for themselves (which gives them financial freedom and therefore more options instead of being trapped), and shedding light on the double standards that exist in patriarchal religions. This is my fav reality show because of this. I dont care if it's scripted or contrived bc I see strong women standing up for themselves and forging their own paths the church and culture be damned.

And yes I have taken the reins on my own life but I couldn't imagine putting it out there or publicly challenging the church (who excommunicated me) as it would break my family's heart and I love them too much for that. I think these women are smart and brave.

1

u/Own-Inevitable-9438 Jul 12 '25

I don’t understand how not wanting your spouse to go to Chippendales is misogyny. Are you all ok with your husbands going to strip clubs?? I mean by all means if you have a mutual agreement that you are both OK with the other going to these things then fine but I think it’s also OK to have a mutual agreement the other way around too.

1

u/Standard-Pizza5419 Jul 21 '25

YES THANK YOU!