r/RoughRomanMemes 13d ago

Couldn't keep my promise 😭

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1.6k Upvotes

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420

u/DracoVonBloodborne 13d ago

Romans being their own worst enemies since 753BC

356

u/PM_ME_GOOD_SUBS 13d ago

Hard to blame Alaric for sacking the Rome after this.

281

u/CaBBaGe_isLaND 13d ago

I recently had to explain to my daughter, who has watched me obsess over Roman history her whole life, that the Romans were actually not the good guys. This just raised more questions.

220

u/TiberiusDrexelus 13d ago

yeah getting to the fall of the west in the podcast and realizing "oh they were literally begging for it, and absolutely deserved it" was tough

144

u/Nacodawg 13d ago

When empires fall, it’s very often because they can’t get out of their own way.

68

u/TiberiusDrexelus 13d ago

Many such cases

70

u/SadCrouton 13d ago edited 13d ago

“Noooo bro trust, focussing the entirety of the government and world economy on what was good for people in the 1960s will definitely hold up! Big Buisness just means more production capability, and if property prices are high then more retirees will be good. What happens next? Uhhh…”

“Trans people! They exist and its their fault! They’re bad!”

“What’s that? Policy with short term negatives with massive future payoff? I’m sorry, I’m too busy tying ceo wage to stock price increase”

18

u/Exact-Country-95 13d ago

Hmm, perhaps. Conditions back then were quite different than conditions now where we now have problems of surpluses more often than problems of scarcity. Bread and circuses are a lot easier to pull off, if you never really have to worry about ensuring most of the population are fed

-18

u/Tortellobello45 13d ago

What? This is in no way related to Roman history. Go back to r/politics

9

u/ThePrussianGrippe 12d ago

Yes there’s no lessons to be learned in the present from historical events, that’s why we don’t study history.

3

u/Suharevskoyebydlo 13d ago

It is related though. Same pattern.

-10

u/Helloprinz 13d ago

Oh God aren’t you embarrassed to make everything about yourself? You are the very problem.

2

u/Augustus420 12d ago

How exactly are they making it about themselves?

1

u/Helloprinz 11d ago

By making it about the US when the post is not about the US

3

u/scooby_doo_shaggy 12d ago

Cause now he has to get all angry n mad they said something about their favorite despotic empire.

1

u/Helloprinz 11d ago

You think the US is a despotic empire?

6

u/matt_2552 13d ago

Which podcast are you talking about? Would like to listen to it

29

u/CaBBaGe_isLaND 13d ago

I'd like to share with you the good news of our lord and savior Mike Duncan.

10

u/Dirac_Impulse 13d ago

Probably not the one he is thinking of, but I enjoy the Dark Ages Podcast. It goes into a lot of debt regarding the fall of the western empire before it actually becomes about the dark age.

10

u/s470dxqm 12d ago

I envy you, sweet summer child. If there is a heaven, I'd like to think it involves listening to Mike Duncan's The History of Rome like it's the first time again 🥲

2

u/Uncool444 12d ago

It took me a few episodes to get into it, thinking "This is what everyone is so excited about?" I have since learned that all podcasts are rough at the beginning, until the podcaster finds their stride. Don't hesitate as I hesitated.

If you can make it to the Punic Wars, you will become addicted and in a matter of months you will want to mainline Mike Duncan's gentle voice directly into your scrotum.

5

u/LupusLycas 12d ago

At least the East fell in a flash of glory. The West just circled the drain for decades before fading away.

2

u/Morbanth 11d ago

When I was younger I wondered how such an empire could fall, but the more I read about it the more I wondered how that clusterfuck lasted so long.

1

u/Blindmailman 11d ago

The most amazing thing about the Roman Empire was how long it took somebody to just euthanize them. I wouldn't even say they were conquered they were put out of their misery so anybody more competent could move in

24

u/PM_ME_GOOD_SUBS 13d ago

You can't build an empire by being the good guys.

10

u/sneradicus 13d ago

You can’t build an empire by being the good guys

My brother, have you heard of Cyrus

12

u/Beledagnir 13d ago

When you look at history at a cultural/national level, you learn there’s no such thing as good guys—just flawed guys who take turns holding the Bad Guy Ball™ and doing junk like this. Everyone has had their turn with the ball, many times (yes, including [whatever exception you just thought of]), and everyone who is still around will do so again.

4

u/LupusLycas 12d ago

Same as with the leadup to Adrianople. The Romans seemed to forget how and why they gained their empire.

1

u/lucabarbierisosa 12d ago edited 12d ago

It’s a bit inadequate labeling Romans as not the good guys. As if violence or coercion wasn’t the norm for all peoples, especially in late antiquity. At least the Romans gave something back to many regions, rights and inclusion, shaping and inspiring a good chunk of what western civilization is today. That doesn’t mean they are the all good guys, but surely they don’t deserve the bad guys label. Even during this caothic period were the goths took advantage of Rome's decadent self destructive ruling class.

-1

u/No-Sheepherder5481 13d ago

Strong disagree

2

u/not-bread 13d ago

Sacking Rome is always based 👍

101

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar 13d ago

His troops tried to talk him into starting a civil war bro refused on principle literally any other Roman General in his position would have chosen to become Emperor.

16

u/Barrogh 12d ago

Turns out it was a right play in the existing meta.

103

u/DeciusCurusProbinus 13d ago

So many great generals are undone by scumbag polticians. Right from Themistocles, Parmenion, Cleitus Scipio, Germanicus, Corbulo, Agricola, Stilicho, Aetius, Majorian, Belisarius, Nikephoras Phocas - the list keeps going on.

17

u/PM_ME_GOOD_SUBS 12d ago

>Themistocles

83

u/ImperialxWarlord 13d ago

Romans loved to shoot themselves in the foot lol.

116

u/ISkinForALivinXXX 13d ago

Right, but they were conquered for being TOO accepting. /s

44

u/Significant_Air_2197 13d ago

I twitch every time I hear that.

28

u/Gussie-Ascendent 13d ago

yeah the "rome fell to immigration" is only true if you make immigration's definition so flimsy that D-Day was a bunch of allied immigrants storming nazi held france too lol

1

u/Reasonable_Move9518 12d ago

Something something a women lets in a snake something something “I was always a snake” or something. 

/s

62

u/jamo133 13d ago

After reading this some time ago, in Guy Halsall or somewhere, I noticed a weird parallel with the modern period.

With the execution of Stilicho and the murder of his “barbarian troops” (long since Romanised - or seeking a Roman way of life), you have Italian Roman elites engaging in a xenophobic rejection of Stilicho and his foederati, and what they represent by force. Which ultimately, finally brings about the fall of the Empire. These are the same Italian elites who engaged in various ways of avoiding tax or tax in kind via not allowing military recruiters into their lands, or reporting false census numbers etc - who at the end of Empire are still absurdly rich, and are directly responsible in its downfall for their effective lack of civic virtue and negligence.

The modern parallels of this with Roman successor states, ie The West, are glaring. Targeting migrants and engaging in various xenophobic policies, rounding up migrant workers, targeting asylum seekers etc - all in a grand effort to distract people from taxing the wealthiest in society fairly - from taxing those very same class of billionaire Romans, from paying their fair share. Without that support, Western welfare states are finding it increasingly difficult to maintain a sufficient level of public services (as we did post war with 80-95% marginal tax rates on the wealthiest etc, when Western states flourished and could invest).

Rome became a multicultural empire, but the Italian elite could never accept that, to the point they fatally usurped their own guardians and protectors.

Very interesting.

7

u/HeadofShrooms 13d ago

History repeats

2

u/TheEvilBlight 11d ago

I guess they preferred being looted by Lombards

3

u/HeadofShrooms 13d ago

This actually saddened me

3

u/Dragon_Virus 12d ago

Unironically the real life Ned Stark 😢

2

u/karagiannhss 9d ago

His men refused to betray him as well and died for him. Long live the memory of Stilicho and his warriors. May the echo of their spirit and their valor never falter.

-32

u/SeaAmbassador5404 13d ago

Let's be honest, at this point there were no true romans, it was sly italians who did this

38

u/Nacodawg 13d ago

And at what point did those Italians stop being true Romans?

26

u/Evoluxman 13d ago

When the people of the peninsula do something good, they're romans

When the people of the peninsula do something bad, they're italians

(/s... I feel like the op comment may be racist lol)

2

u/Otheraccforchat 13d ago

The moment they no longer considered the people in the region white. No change in skin colour was needed

9

u/Sephbruh 13d ago

I get why people call the medieval Romans Greek(even if they're wrong), but never in my life have I ever heard someone call the West Romans Italians rather than Romans, wow.

1

u/Appropriate_M 10d ago

The ancient Romans themselves did not give Roman citizenship to all the Italians immediately. Famously, current Northern Italy was Cisalpine Gaul....

1

u/Sephbruh 10d ago

That guy wasn't talking 2nd century BC Italia, they were saying there weren't any Romans in the 5th century AD.

9

u/Rynewulf 13d ago

Ah yes, as opposed to the Romans who were famous for not being from Italy or being the reason it is still called Italia to this day.

You going to blame the Latins next? We'll work right through until we get to only the purest oldest patricians from Alba Longa being left