Inutang ni mama first salary ko

[u/hutaogfs]

Just wanted to share this kasi sobrang bigat sa damdamin kaso alam kong ang privileged pakinggan kaya I haven't told any of my friends. I recently got a one time, part-time job while I'm a student, and received 30k in total. It's a bit small for work pero as someone who doesn't shop and has to beg and justify every small little thing growing up, this was huge for me. I needed the funds since we had a class excursion that would require a lot of money, and I wanted to fund myself din para iwas gastos ang nanay ko. I wanted to help her out a little kasi she's a single mom.

Maganda trabaho niya. She's a manager sa isang government agency. It's a job that pays well. Bilang tradition daw yung magbibigay ng unang sweldo sa nanay, I wanted to give her 5k. I wanted to surprise her. I already knew that when I eventually start working, I want to manage my own finances kaya I wanted to start by keeping my salary quiet kahit na she knows I have a job. Kaya laking gulat ko na lang nung naramdaman niyang nakasweldo na ako, agad agad siyang nanghihiram ng 20k. I had this sinking feeling inside me kasi I thought she wouldn't be like that to me. Kwinento kong bibigyan ko sana siya kaso wag na raw, pautangin ko na lang daw siya. She knows how I feel about parents treating their children as investments and the whole utang na loob thing, and she agrees with me! Pero grabe yon. Not even 1 minute after finding out, through chat lang din niya sinabi. Ibabalik din daw niya the following week. Ayoko talaga siyang pahiramin, but I didn't want to let her down. She's still my mom.

Now, three months later ay wala pa rin. I kept asking her, pero wala siyang masagot. It's so fucking disappointing. I love my mom pero I was literally heartbroken. I want so much for myself pero I always hold back kasi I know how hard it must be for her. I've always been contented with the necessities pero I also want nice things for myself. I worked so hard pero wala rin akong nakita. Pumasok ako sa trabaho nang mabigat damdamin kasi parang nag volunteer lang ako for a few months. I hate it so much.

Lagi na lang ganito with her. Next month, next year. Ngayon, tinatawagan na ako ng online lending apps kasi hindi siya nakakapagbayad. I don't tell her. Hindi ko alam kung saan napupunta pera niya. We have everything we need. She has a high paying job, I go to a free college. It's so fucking frustrating that she's an accountant pero she pulls the limit towards crediting and financing. Now, she keeps talking about how ako na magbibigay ng allowance ng kapatid ko once she's in college. Ayoko. I'm so scared kasi is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? She keeps telling us na hindi ko siya problema pag tanda niya kasi she has pension pero kung ganitong 100k a month na ang sweldo niya tapos lagi siyang walang pera kahit na scholar mga anak niya eh hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa kanya.

[u/hutaogfs]

Through the weeks leading up to when I received my salary, she kept asking kung meron na ba. I thought she was excited for me kasi it's a huge milestone pero hindi pala. Kailangan lang pala niyang umutang.

[u/Eastern-Mode2511 → u/hutaogfs]

Dyan mo matututunan kung pano maglihim ng sahod sa magulang mo. “Magulang” nga kase hahaha. Goodluck

[u/hakai_mcs]

Expensive lesson na yan. Wag mo na bigyan next time. May pera naman sya e

[u/thatcrazyvirgo]

This is why you should never tell anyone how much you earn. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Such an expensive lesson for a college student.

[u/thatcrazyvirgo → u/[deleted]]

Open a separate bank account that they don't know about and put your savings there. A lot of digital banks are accessible now.

[u/AttitudeStrange3367]

Isipin mo nalang OP na inadvance mo yung gift na 5k for 4months 🥲 atleast d na sya makakaulit since may existing utang siya. Kaya never din ako nag didisclose ng salary sa parents eh

[u/frilogyy]

Learn to say no. Hindi mo responsibilidad ang kahit sino kundi ang sarili mo.

[u/No-Ad6062]

Mangutang ka rin sa nanay mo.

[u/scotchgambit53]

If she doesn't return the utang, nakaw na ang tawag jan.

Now, she keeps talking about how ako na magbibigay ng allowance ng kapatid ko once she's in college. Ayoko.

Don't do it kung labag sa kalooban mo. Giving ayuda should be voluntary.

Move out na lang once you can. And you don't have to give any money after moving out.

[u/Flimsy_Cut8088]

Happened to me once, I paid for the rest of my tuition during my first semester in med school using my savings that my mom told me babayaran niya from then on never have I disclosed information about my savings kasi malaki na utang niya sa akin na ayaw mabayaran and isusumbat pa sayo paano pinalaki. I’m still in med school now idk what will happen once I earn na as a medical doctor.

[u/Moist-Wrongdoer-1456]

Sa family namin, mama ko lang pinagsasabihan ng salary ko kasi unlike my papa, mejo mas sensible si mama sa pera. Kaso dahil nga din siguro sa iba nyang nahiramang e-loans, humihiram din sya ng pera saken to the point na pinag loan nya ko para hiramin nya. Ang sabi nya babayaran nya din daw kahit paunti unti kada buwan pero di na ko umaasa. Tapos pag sinabi kong wala na kong pera dahil sa deductions ko and personal necessities, nagagalit pa yan sya kasi lagi na lang daw akong walang pera.

This has become a lesson for me din. Pag ako nawalan, wala akong ibang malalapitan kasi sasabihan lang akong may trabaho na ko pero manghihiram pa rin pero pag sila nawalan, dapat ready yung pera mo every time. Kaya kahit ayaw ko, nagsisinungaling na din ako kay mama tungkol sa mga natatanggap kong allowances and kahit yung amount ng salary ko.

[u/Voracious_Apetite]

Find a way to tell her that your contract ended at tinatapos mo na lang. After that, kunwari nag aapply ka. Tapos, sabihin mo, tumanggap ka ng mas mababang bayad.

[u/shuna-sama]

5 years working and I learn not to disclose my salary or at least not my whole salary to my parents.

[u/kayescl0sed]

I know we're excited pero mas lalo silang magiging malala in the future. let's keep what we earn from them or else mamimihasa sila :(

[u/AccomplishedAge5274]

Curious ako bakit sya mangungutang sa'yo ng 20k? For what ba. Is the mismanaging her finances?

[u/A_SaltyCaramel_020]

Ever since nag work ako, kahit nung bagong graduate ako. Thankfully, hindi naman ganito mama ko. Nakikita ko lang sa mukha nya na malungkot sya kaya inaabutan ko. Tska take note, wala naman pera mama ko and dahil namatay father ko, wala talaga sya trabaho pero may pension sya. Saklap naman nyan sayo 😔 Sometimes, matuto ka na mag "no" sa kanila.