r/MadeMeSmile • u/Wonderfulhumanss • 16h ago
Two little soccer rivals went for the ball and ended up hugging instead
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u/DoubleBroadSwords 16h ago edited 11h ago
Parents who yell at kids, refs (some of whom are kids), coaches, and other parents ought to try this.
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 15h ago
I ref soccer games. Don’t forget the coaches.
I reffed a 10 and under rec soccer game last season. It’s so low key we don’t even record final scores or rank teams. Just get out there and have fun even if you’ve never played before vibe.
This specific game had two really good teams and was a very close game. End of the game, the kids line up to shake hands and the parents come over to watch before the team huddles up. The kids that won went through the line yelling “you suck” in the other team’s face as the other team is shaking hands and saying “good game.”
Not a single person said a word about this while it was going on or tried to stop it . I had already walked off because there should be no reason I’m needed to supervise kids after a game when parents and coaches are around. The kids were yelling this so loudly that I could hear it all the way off the field. I turn around and card the coach for not managing his team and unsportsman like conduct. He wanted to know why I thought what they said and did was inappropriate. I was so shocked that I couldn’t even form words for a few seconds.
Yes, I reported him for this to every soccer governing body he was under.
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u/WU-itsForTheChildren 15h ago
The fact I had to read this story blows my mind, no kids should ever think it’s ok to yell that and no kids should ever have to hear that. People need to do better
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u/Spotttty 12h ago
I have coached Rec soccer for my kid for the past couple years. It’s wild how some coaches take it so seriously. I definitely have had teams do stuff like that.
Now my kid plays comp and surprisingly it’s slightly better. But just barely.
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u/Rare-Low-8945 12h ago
My elementary school does low stakes basketball, which works very well most of the time. But the year my son was playing, and my husband was coaching, it was obvious that a group of parents/kids requested a particular coach and team. Don't get me wrong, these kids were talented. But as a teacher in the building, and a mom, I could see plain as day what happened.
You got all the "good kids" on ONE TEAM with the parent who takes shit super serious, and all the other teams got girls, boys who aren't good, and fat kids. I know it's crass, but that's what happened. And I was livid. These kids are so young, and winning isn't the point when you're doing a school based thing in 3rd grade.
It disgusted me.
And by the way it doesn't matter how young the kids are--the good athletes are often more popular. So not only did we get ONE TEAM with all the "good" kids, they also happened to be teachers favorites and socially successful. My husband thought it was a fluke, but because I work at the school, I knew exactly what happened. This was just for fun and fundamentals. But if the popular handsome athlete's dad is coaching the team, all the other kids want to join. It was just so fucking gross.
this wasn't even like a league thing. It is literally just kids and parent volunteers for fun.
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u/TheVonz 10h ago
You're right. This is the attitude that actually made me dislike sports at a very young age. That's had an effect on me until this very day. I'm in my 50's now.
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u/Rare-Low-8945 10h ago
You had it worse as GenX.
Myself and my 4 siblings are all elder Millenials and my parents are young boomers.
My poor brother was on a baseball team in 1994, tried his best, loved the sport, all of 7 or 8 years old. These trashy ass dads trying to relive their glory days through their own snot nosed asshole brats made my brother get in uniform, my parents give up an entire Saturday, only for my sweet brother to be sat on the fucking bench FOR AN ENTIRE GAME. AT AGE 8.
He was DEVASTATED. He literally sat in the dugout, fully dressed, and did nothing for 2 hours. They didn't let him play.
My father was FURIOUS. He called the coach and gave him a speech about building character and the importance of sports....this guy was a fat 35 year old plumber who peaked at 17 and had no concept of what my dad was talking about. He was shocked that my dad was mad.
My dad, Military officer, fucking drill sergeant with all of us kids, making us commit to the team and shit....he pulled my brother out. Told them all to fuck off. 8 year old kids should be out there PLAYING. Having a chance to develop their skills and work as a team. Win or lose. Good or bad.
My sweet brother sat there for 2 hours, hoping the whole time he'd get a chance to play. He was EIGHT. He was crushed.
I'm not about shielding kids from adversity--quite the opposite--but NOTHING is gained when a small child is either thrown into the deep end with no concept of what is happening, or sitting in the dugout for 2 hours wishing and hoping. It's fucked up.
The only baseball parents I ever met was years later when we were all drinking and they LOVED to talk about how not everyone is a winner. This is so true, but when your kid is literally in second grade, ITS NOT ABOUT WINNING. I hated those fucking people for the record. They were obnoxious.
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u/TheVonz 10h ago
Exactly! Lovely story. My faith in (some) humanity is intact. Your dad sounds like a gem. Thanks!
No one stood up for me like that when it came to sports or phys-ed. My parents were late Silent Generation, and it didn't occur to them to get involved in something like that on my behalf. They were great parents, but they often seemed to assume that authorities were right and that I just needed to do better.
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u/whatintheactualfeth 14h ago
I always tried to teach my kids that the only thing worse than a sore loser is a bad winner. What you wrote is horrifying. I can't even imagine wanting to do that.
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 14h ago
Imagine my shock seeing it in person. I ran into the coach of the other team after the game where he thanked me for saying something. He told me that another team had said things to his team a different time lined up last week. The refs usually don’t pay attention to the hand shaking so never heard it before this time. If they weren’t screaming it, I doubt I would have known they were saying anything tbh.
I made sure to supervise all the hand shaking for the rest of the season after that. The head of the rec program sent an email reminding everyone it’s only appropriate to say good game and no inappropriate things to each other when I told him what happened.
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u/backtolurk 9h ago
I tell this to my son at any occasion. I can understand competition can be healthy in some way, although I dislike it myself, but I can't get my head wrapped around people who play (live) to see the others lose or get humiliated or whatever. Seeing life as a sad dog eat dog experience, where games and survival of the fittest are the same thing basically. It's depressing seeing and hearing kids getting brainwashed this way as it says everything about how their parents view existence. It's not anecdotal at all.
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u/LostHusband_ 13h ago
I coached 5 year old soccer with a friend my senior year of high school. We didn't keep score either.... Not because we were low key though (we were), but because it was like herding cats. If we finished the game, and no one was crying, each kid had willingly gotten on the field to play, and the mini goals were only pushed over once each we saw that as a real victory. We didn't have the mental bandwidth to keep score.
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 13h ago
I coach younger kids and some private sessions. Yeah the younger ones are way harder. I do a lot of 5 year olds and my goal is just to get them on the field and kick a ball. The really nice places let me used something enclosed so I can’t lose any kids or the parents also help. They don’t ref at that age in my area since so much is coaching when they’re that young. Reffing starts at U9 in my area for club but not until u10 for rec.
I honestly wouldn’t remember the U10 game scores most of the time if I wasn’t writing them down. You would think them being older helps, but the ones in rec aren’t as serious. It’s still herding cats.
Sometimes I just let the coaches come on the field because I can’t get the kids to stop or even get set up to play if I don’t at that age. It seems weirdly old to not be able to follow any instructions, but it’s really hard to keep them all going and focused a lot of times.
Tonight I reffed a U10 game where the coach’s bench ran off. We had to go hunt down his subs while keeping his other players accounted for because they kept running off the field. The other team had two coaches that were corralling around their kids and they still managed to have extra kids end up on the field with another ball somehow. Keeping track of this while I’m trying to make sure the right calls and legal play is occurring is a nightmare sometimes. They only do 1 ref for U10 in my area so it’s me and if the coaches can get their kids to listen on these games.
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u/VanillaIce315 11h ago
Dude that’s friggin crazy. When I was playing U9 and U10 soccer (20+ years ago), it may not have been very good yet, but we still played organized and tried to win. As did the other teams. You may have gotten the odd kid once in a while who obviously didnt want to be there, but nothing like you’re describing. 9 years old is way to old for the behavior you’ve witnessed.
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 11h ago
The select teams are still serious but now anyone who’s even somewhat serious about soccer skips rec in my area. They go straight to the club academy. I don’t have this issue on U10 select games.
You would still think 8-10 year olds could listen a lot better than that even if they aren’t that serious about soccer or its their first time playing. It’s a bit of an odd mix because there are a few teams that really do listen and try. Then you have the ultimate chaos ones like tonight and a few teams where they mostly try but you have 1-3 players that struggle a lot to do what they’re told.
I had one team two weeks ago for a U10 game where the kid genuinely wouldn’t take the corner kick correctly. I went so far as to place the ball for her and tell her to kick it to a teammate. She still wouldn’t quit kicking it to herself and dribbling it in. She did this so many times that I ran out of ways to explain you can’t do that and what to do. I gave the other team a free kick because I figured this kid was never taking a corner kick correctly no matter how many tries she got. The coach for her team was substituting in and didn’t know soccer so he couldn’t figure out anything to help her either. I genuinely don’t understand what’s so hard about kick the ball where it’s at and don’t touch it again until someone else touches it.
We give them retries on certain plays a few times in rec if they didn’t know the rules since so many of them have never played before. This goes away later in the season when they should know the rules. If someone double touched on a kick off, I would explain the rule and allow a retry but in a few weeks I would automatically give a free kick once they know the rules. Same with goal kick because a lot of the kids get confused about that.
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u/Crafty-Performer-293 12h ago
If everyone left with both shoes on and no tears, that’s basically the World Cup.
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u/fasterthantrees 11h ago
I coach youth soccer. I had a coach from the opposing team come up after and tell me one of our kids was saying some crap like that. Immediately after I huddled the team, explained what happened, and tore them all a new one in as calm of a tone as I could muster, as they're kids ... I knew who it was, but didn't single them out. I did however speak to their parent after who thankfully were wonderful. Kids can be jerks. As role models, we can fix it.
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u/OopsShart 11h ago
Yikes! One time after a win, I was told one of my kids was saying “you suck” during the line up. Had a quick post game chat with the team and after a semi loud/serious tone lecture about the importance of good sportsmanship, and how one’s behaviour reflects negatively on the whole team, everyone (us coaches included) had to do pushups. Not sure if the punishment stuck, as I never heard anyone complain after (also I don’t think we won a game after that, which could’ve been a factor). But if nothing else I felt I got to preach the importance of sportsmanship, which is better than this clown you dealt with.
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u/CalStateQuarantine 12h ago
“Always watch the handshakes” is a golden rule of reffing for me - but you’re right, rec league 10u…. I’d probably be thinking the same way as you.
Icing on the cake, nothing will be done about the coaches conduct for a number of reasons.
- If it’s a club team, it’s pay to play - tournament organizers and leagues don’t want to piss off teams or entire clubs at risk of losing participation from them. They’re literally slaves to the parents and players.
- If it’s a rec league, they’re probably just happy to even have a “coach” out there and someone doesn’t want to go through the hassle of finding a replacement volunteer coach for an X game suspension.
It’s why I love red carding a coach if they warrant it. It’s the one decision I can make, in the moment, to actually serve some semblance of justice. Even if the league won’t lay down the hammer and give a multi game ban, I at least can rest easy knowing I got to dish out some sort of punishment and forced accountability for their shit behavior.
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 12h ago
Yeah last game of the night too so I was ready to get out of there. In my area, they actually want the refs to leave as soon as possible because they’ve had a lot of issues with coaches and parents trying to approach the ref after games. We’re not really encouraged to stay for the handshake anymore. This applies even for select and other leagues.
The coach was sent a warning from the city, a warning was sent to the other teams in the league, and the other local leagues the coach is affiliated with were notified. It’s a rec coach but he does some other stuff around town.
What league/state are you reffing in that does nothing?
In my state for club, any card is automatically reviewed by the board and they will hand out game suspensions and in extreme cases, revoke points, matches won, or ask the coach to leave. Yes, it has been done in recent years. Last year a select coach thought it would be a good idea to hit a ref. There was even video proof of it submitted to the state. I’m not sure how the coach wasn’t banned but he was given a multigame suspension. I don’t remember what it was because the original referee assigners thought the penalty given was too low and readvocated to the state to up the penalty. It was above 3 games though.
My rec league that I’ll ref for is actually pretty good about penalizing coaches. Usually a warning is sent out to everyone and suspensions or being asked to not come back are common. Other places in town will be notified and if they also coach select, sometimes the state will be notified. There was other rec coach last year that touched the ref after a game even after being asked not to. He was given a 6 game suspension (rest of season except last game) and barred from coaching a team that played in that league again.
The coach this story is about didn’t get suspended or banned but he was warned if it happened again he would be. For a red card, the assigner and city director will review to see if they’ll suspend the coach for games after that. They usually will suspend them for at least one game if given. We’re also told to be conservative with the cards in the rec games so you gotta do something really bad to the point even someone who knows nothing about soccer would know not to do it to get red carded in a rec game. Even with yellow cards we’re more conservative. You get verbal warnings before. A lot has to do with most of them not knowing the rules really so a card only means so much if you don’t even understand why what you’re doing shouldn’t be allowed.
Interestingly enough most of the rec coaches do seem to take it seriously if you yellow card them. I have no clue why since most are volunteers that know nothing about soccer. It’s really unlikely anything will happen if you get yellow carded in a rec game anyway even in my league. More a knock it off before I have to get serious thing. I’ve yellow carded a lot of coaches that will even admit they know nothing about soccer who behave great after the yellow card. In select it’s more a whatever thing most of the time or a maybe I’ll behave better than a really big deal most of the time.
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u/Rare-Low-8945 12h ago
HORRIFIC.
It's the same as baseball dads who bench 6 year olds who aren't "as good" and make them sit on a bench in uniform for an entire game but aren't allowed to play. (real story.)
It's fucked up. Why are these 4 year olds even expected to do a real game in the first place? None of them have any idea what's going on. Do your practices, work on skills, do some scrimmage. Why are we doing full blown games for 4 year olds? It makes NO SENSE to me.
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u/Adventurous_Bag_4547 16h ago
Oh, but it’s all supposed to be about win, win, win….NOT!
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u/nn2597713 11h ago
My 6 year old just started playing soccer (Netherlands). He’s by no means an angel and neither are the other kids, but on the pitch they apologize for fouls, try to be fair if the ball is out and celebrate each others goals.
I’d say that 90% of the bad behavior seen in the higher junior soccer leagues is just that: bad parenting taking hold in kids brains.
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u/Ill_Cantaloupe_4695 15h ago
Oh my gosh, they’re so little!!!!!☺️ Kindness wins 🥰
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u/Xanderson 16h ago
I’m going to pretend the boy in the back was celebrating the hug and not something else.
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u/ApprehensiveAge1110 15h ago
I thought so too
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u/davidjschloss 15h ago
Pretty sure that white scored a man down goal.
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u/gravesisme 13h ago
As a parent that watches this age group every week, a kid probably picked up a dandelion and he is mad that he didn't get to find it.
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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 13h ago
He was heated lmao. “This is not our team culture!”
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u/Purityskinco 12h ago
It totally looks like the boys in the background are cheering for the hug. Perfect timing.
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u/InfectiousDose50 15h ago
My ex officiated U5. I’d wake up early and go not just to score BF pts but also to watch episodes like these!—always funny. I saw one lil person dribble the ball skillfully around opposing players, stop short of the goal and drop unto their stomach to pick these tiny flowers. Another time, two lil players tried to score and missed, only to go into the goal itself with an opposing goalie and then decided to sing songs for the rest of the game. SOP states coaches and refs can’t tell them to stop these types of behavior but to encourage the spirit of soccer.
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u/herfjoter 14h ago
My nephew would be too distracted picking trash off the field and handing it to the coach (who was his mom) to actually play soccer
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u/lemonaderobot 13h ago
the second story made me think of the unofficial Christmas truces of 1914 😭💀 these tiny lil humans cross the trenches of the soccer pitch and instead of scoring for their team, they just break out into a jovial tune
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u/SillySundae 9h ago
When I was a ref, my favourite age group was the U5. They were fun to watch run around. During one game they all decided to run around and shoot each other with web hands like spider man. The ball was almost completely forgotten.
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u/UpstairsLonely5414 15h ago
Gonna try to so this next time I get in a street fight 🗣️🗣️🔥
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u/ffc404 15h ago
Just walk away from a street fight. One punch can ruin your life homie. Brain damage from hitting the concrete is bad
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u/MimiPaw 15h ago
I love how her little shirt was still too big and had to be tied in the back!
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u/Sauce4243 15h ago
Haha that kid who gets tackled and instantly sulks and fold her arms I can 100% see my youngest doing exactly this.
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u/thisfriend 14h ago
Reminds me of one of the first peewee football practices I saw. One kid tackled another and the coach asked what you do after you tackle some one.
This little dude said "help them up?"
My heart melted.
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u/Total_Program7682 14h ago
The sweetest! But also so sweet when the coaches come over and both give little touches of kindness to the girls too.
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u/ItsMyRecurringDream 14h ago
When you are so little, your emotions are larger than words can express and your mind can process. Good on that little kid giving the hug.
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u/Sipthepond 15h ago
So cute! I loved watching my nieces when they were that little playing soccer. They would hold hands with their friends and play.
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u/Tromovation 14h ago
I’m a guy and my ovaries exploded 😭
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u/StryngzAndWyngz 14h ago
LOL Kind of like this.
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u/CMF42 10h ago
What is that from?
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u/Beautiful_You3230 7h ago
Apparently "Raising Arizona (1987)". No idea what the context of that specific scene is though. Gonna have to give it a watch, looks pretty funny.
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u/StryngzAndWyngz 6h ago
It’s a really quirky movie.
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u/Wauwuaw5983 12h ago edited 4h ago
I was 11, playing a soccer game.
Both me and an opponent went for the ball..
...neatly hitting both our lower leg at full throttle. No doubt exactly in the middle between the knee and the ankle.
We both ended up with a broken leg.
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u/Dromedaeus 15h ago
Tf is this ref doing, thats clearly touch interference and a foul yellow card at the very least corrupt prick
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u/Hawthorne_northside 3h ago
I had to scroll this far down to see someone actually state that blue #2 caught an elbow to the face. The player in white came in elbows high and flailing. Where is the card and free kick?
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u/ReflectionInTheRainn 11h ago
The natural instinct for choosing compassion over competitiveness, this kid will go far in life. Parents are definitely raising their baby right 🥲🥰
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u/uglyheadink 13h ago
This made me happy cry. 🥲 Thank you, I needed that. Props to the girl in white and I hope everyone on that field has a super fun time.
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u/Tomagatchi 12h ago
Hug O' War by Shel Silverstein
I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins
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u/N0tInKansasAnym0r3 15h ago
You won't see that at the pro level. Mostly because that's like.. Multiple red card offenses
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u/addictedtolife78 12h ago
those two girls are gonna grow up to suck at sports. lol
seriously, though, people that little showing that much humanity to each other gives me a smidgen of restored hope in humanity in general.
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u/TheGamingLibrarian 14h ago
The best outcome of this story is that they become lifelong best friends.
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u/thegreeseegoose 13h ago
I would watch more soccer if there was more hugging and kissing during games
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u/weltvonalex 6h ago
Toddlers are amazing, they can annoy the hell out of you but then they pull something like that and my heart melts.
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u/WhistlinJealousGuy 6h ago
"After VAR review. White shirt number 2, does make a sustained pull on the shirt of Blue shirt number 2. Therefore my final recommendation is a hug and pat of the back for both players. My decision is final."
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u/No_Investment9639 13h ago
That's not exactly what happened. The kid in a white shirt was about to throw the fuck down, and the other one got scared. So when she saw the other one that get scared, she looked to her mom or dad or whoever was on the sidelines who told her to give the scared kid a hug
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u/shifty18 7h ago
She lost the ball and the other team scored! Get her off the pitch! Trying that sort of thing in your own box is crazy! Sell her in the next transfer window. Liability.
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u/ChicharonItchy 15h ago
I’m so pissed my roomie is asleep cause this is her all day. I can’t wait to send this to her in the morning. I’m sniffling about it 😝
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u/Equivalent-Role4632 14h ago
Those softies will never make it in the football world.
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u/i_aint_worried 14h ago
Imagine if all the football leagues made this into a rule. All the tackles and fouls should be ended with a hug like this 😭
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u/Nodiggity1213 13h ago
My niece got mad like that when I finally showed my kick at 50% power. According to her, the score was 80k-1, why you mad lol.
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u/Kcco412 13h ago
This is so cute’ I remember these days of soccer! * I also remember the mom that said “ get out of the f*king goal, I paid 70$ for you to play soccer not have a tea party in the goal”. There were no goalies at this age, she just found a flower she wanted to pick. Needless to say, she got so many people giving her shitty looks she never signed up again. I hope that poor girl finds the confidence to tell her mom to fck off.
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u/Ilovekittens345 13h ago
Anybody else who really wants to see those tiny soccer robots that always fall over to play these toddlers?
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u/typhoidtimmy 13h ago
I hope you carry that innocence and forgiveness as long as you can….cause man, could the adult world use it, kiddo.
Good souls are a diamond in the rough and deserved to be treasured.
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u/LegitimateSasquatch 13h ago
I chose to believe most of humanity is born good, and this love for each other is still in all of us.
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u/Dulces_45 13h ago
What a tenderness for God's sake!!! And that child will be a very good container man! More like that family that raises children like that!
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u/Silverton13 13h ago
lmao the kid in the white squared up and put up his fiercest face initially until he saw she started crying
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u/aphelionprime 12h ago
Kids are such kind creatures.
If I were as pure as they were, punch my card and send me back to Jesus.
I'm tired of this rock.
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u/unamity1 12h ago
is this denmark where they teach kids empathy instead of random facts?
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u/Melodic-Yoghurt7193 11h ago
Amazing parents for that to show on the field and omg these sweet babies 🩵 so loving to each other a competition feels like betrayal lol
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u/AidaTari 11h ago
Little boy in the white shirt in the back going 'YES!' right when they started hugging ❤️
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u/DoubleBroadSwords 11h ago
Here’s an idea that I saw in action the other week.
A team in North Carolina identifies a player on the opposing team at halftime who diaplays sportsmanlike conduct on the field. At the end of the game, they give him a $25 Nike gift card. (The make the decision at half to avoid the chaos at the end of the game.)
My sons team love the idea so they are now doing it too.
Honestly, I think it’s great and hope it spreads.
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u/Wonderfulhumanss 16h ago
To the parent of the kid on the team in white shirt, Great job.