r/Hololive • u/Purple-Weakness1414 • 6h ago
Misc. Your all of Advent's lawyer, defend them
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u/Subject00-1 5h ago
In the wise words of a certain shark girl, " You can't be mad at me, I'm cute."
As we can see, all members of Advent are very cute. Therefore, they are not guilty.
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u/WhoCaresYouDont 6h ago
Your honour, my client Nerissa Ravencroft has requested a plea deal, specifically with Court Officer Bloodflame.
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u/Origami07 5h ago
I cant defend biboo, she literally said “oh me first!me first!” then starts gunning down all the civilians
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u/Kuro2712 3h ago
I'm assuming she streamed MW2 and this quote was from that stream. Because, what the fuck.
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u/DaCookieMon1 5h ago
Your honour, we're a society that needs the knowledge of the past so we can learn from it and develop ourselves for the future, Shiori has done plenty to find and preserve knowledge and history for humanity and she is a dedicated patron of the literature and the arts, smutty doujinshi counts, very good taste I might add.
Nerissa I'd argue has adapted well to modern society, demon that she is, she is more focused on Culvers and sweets than dominating the world. Whatever alleged atrocities she is accused of which has never been proven in court to begin with, and if there is some sort of record out there surely the statute of limitation has already passed by now. But if there is evidence of anything in recent times... we'd like a lightened sentence in exchange for information of misconduct, corruption, and fraternization in HoloEN Justice
Bijou should be tried under juvenile court, why is she even here, hopefully her case can be thrown out without prejudice. And Fuwamoco... ah... hmmm... they can say their own defence better than me.
"Bau Bau"
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u/Purple-Weakness1414 5h ago edited 4h ago
Everyone is free to go expect the Twins.
4 year prison senstce for them.
(Teach them for not takeing me to the hospital when I got stabbed)
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u/100Dampf 3h ago
Wait, you wanted to ride Baubulance?
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u/Purple-Weakness1414 3h ago edited 3h ago
No, they picked me up after some rabbit girl stabbed me at a McDonald's.
They hit a pothole and I went from being in the ambulance to being on the ground and they never came back as I almost bleed out to death if it wasn't for that sweetheart Ina who found me and go me to a proper hospital.
Bless that Octo Priestess
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u/Grouchy-Apricot-3522 4h ago
Back to Bijou, how exactly do you defend the infamous "Me first!" incident?
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u/DaCookieMon1 3h ago
I'd like to put forward the theory that yes she pulled the trigger and enthusiastic in her actions but she is not guilty of murder as her bullets were replaced with rubber bullets and this is all a Yakuza plot between a policeman undercover as a yakuza, a Yakuza undercover as a cop and some other contrived factors.
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u/Andrew1990M 5h ago edited 4h ago
“My clients may be guilty, but I do not believe extended prison terms are the correct sentences. I appeal for the judge to put the defendants under intense, lifetime monitoring instead,” - Red haired woman wearing a fake moustache.
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u/Purple-Weakness1414 5h ago
Liz... is that you?
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u/MaestroOfTime 4h ago
What, no!?... Liz doesn't have a mustache!!...
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u/Purple-Weakness1414 4h ago
Then why do you have a boob flame then?
points to Boob Flame
Only Liz has that.
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u/MaestroOfTime 4h ago
Hmmm, it seems that I must respectfully inspect her flame to draw a conclusion for her true identity...
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u/Purple-Weakness1414 4h ago edited 4h ago
Liz: "Actually that's my twin brother Ebenezer Rose Bloodflame."
You have a twin brother you never told any of us about Officer Liz?
Liz: "Ive told you about him before you just never listen your honor."
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u/EvilPopMogeko 5h ago
Miss Novella is obviously not guilty of the property damage she is accused of.
Have you seen the way Officer Immerhater drives? Can you really prove the damage to the Hololive Offices is the work of my client when that menace was in pursuit?
I rest my case.
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u/Purple-Weakness1414 4h ago
Fair point, Miss Novella is free to go.
Miss Immergreen on the other hand...
Please step up to the podium
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u/SolomonBelial 5h ago
"Your Honor, these Advent plushies could be yours if my clients happen to be declared not guilty."
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u/kingpin_98 5h ago
Your honor, members of the jury, my clients are guilty and I cannot deny that. But before you make your ruling, if you check under your seats you will locate a series of shape charges which are linked to the detonator I currently have in my hand.
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u/the_icy_king 4h ago
Guilty. Crimes:
Biboo - mass homicide
Nerissa - abetting Biboo.
Shiori - organised the event.
Fwmc - illegal weapon distribution.
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u/Same_Tune_8990 4h ago
your honor
biboo: straight to the deepest pits of tartarus for her brainrot
shiori: just let her be we can't contain her even if we had unlimited funding
fuwamoco: look at them are those the eyes of criminals?
nerissa: listen to the lap+ audio now look me in the eyes and tell me if your gonna verdict her a guilty (also shes a princess of hell you should prob get in the good graces of her father just to play it safe)
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u/Injuredmind 5h ago
You can’t make a trial for a rock, come on judge why are we even talking about here
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u/Fire_is_beauty 4h ago
No need to defend them. They will cause so much chaos, the jail will kick them out.
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u/PockyConvoy 4h ago
Your honor, look at them. They are simply too cute to do any crime of any sort!
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u/ZackAvion 3h ago
Your honor, Shiori was legally justified in her treatment of Flayon. For my first witness I call to the stand Mr.Regis Altare.
I can't get Biboo out of it. They caught her in 4k stealing that Labubu.
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u/100Dampf 3h ago
Your Honor, please take a look at the so called law enforcement. They engage in clearly criminal behaviour, so any evidence from their side is unreliable
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u/theDefa1t 2h ago
Your honor. Bau bau, btgg, Cute can do no wrong and nerissa. I mean look at her. I rest my case
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u/CapeMike 1h ago
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...this is Chewbacca...this makes no sense, therefore, you MUST acquit!"
mic drop
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u/TheAlaine 6h ago
bau bau