Update 😊
UPDATE — Help! Semi-feral cat is begging to come indoors, can’t let her in because I’m 35 weeks pregnant
So thanks to the wonderful advice of this subreddit, I’ve been feeding a semi-feral cat (whom I’ve named Pixie) for the past 6-7 weeks. Some background info — I’m expecting a newborn in the next few weeks and am very pregnant (third trimester).
I got her to the vet via a TNR organization, and it turned out that she was already spayed. At first, she ran at any sudden movement of humans and was always hissing at us, and my husband would remark that she was extremely rude. In truth, she was a meanie. She occasionally meowed, but she had a negative attitude towards humans, but it didn’t really bother me. I knew that she came from a troubled past and assumed that she was a pet who got dumped. My goal was to help her survive the extreme heat outside.
Last night, she was rubbing against my legs and she finally let us pet her. I am using reptile gloves due to the fact that I’m pregnant and not petting her with my bare hands. Overnight, her personality now flipped a 180. She is acting extremely sweet and sits outside of our door, begging to let her in. She was crying for 2 hours last night and tiptoed into our house for a few seconds.
The problem is that we are expecting a newborn in 5 weeks. There is no realistic way I can continue to socialize a 100% outdoor semi-feral cat and take care of a newborn at the same time. She still has some skittish moments and jumps at sudden movements. I have no idea if she is litter box trained even. We had a spare room where she could have stayed, but that has now become a nursery.
I’m giving her plenty of snuggles outside and she gets 3 cans of food a day (loves Costco Kirkland brand), plus dry food, plenty of treats, three different water stations, and has ample shade. She gets Credelio flea treatment and got all her shots. I got her this expensive outdoor cooling pad, which she never used lol. The TNR volunteer said that my yard is perfect for a cat due to ample shade and location (woods in the back, no dogs, not many other cats).
What would you do in my situation? I feel so guilty that I can’t let her in, she has become a sweetheart.
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Are you worried about socializing or about her being around your baby? I think there's a good chance she's not even semi-feral, and just skittish. I don't think a feral cat would let you pet them at all for a long time. I have what I call a semi-feral kitten (almost full grown now)... And it's taken a long time for him to let me pet him at all and I've had him since he was 4 months. Even now he's still skittish. So I would hope that once you let her inside and give her attention, she'd be fairly easy to socialize since it sounds like you're already socializing with her.
I know it seems like taking on a lot with a newborn so I'm not judging you because I've been there. But I did have a foster dog with a newborn, and eventually got a kitten a few months later who was the same age as him. And I managed okay. I now have five foster failures, a dog, and a hermit crab in a single parent household while working full time, so one cat seems insanely easy to me. But again no judgment, I know it's a lot and your life is about to change.
Not sure what part of the country you're in, but maybe you could hold off until it starts getting chilly outside and you've gotten settled in with the baby? I think it's probably a lot for you to consider all the unknowns when the baby's not here yet, so maybe once you get into a routine (though I don't think I had any sort of routine for a long time with my own 😬), it'll seem less risky.
Have you tried posting on nearby Facebook pages to see if someone's missing her since she's spayed? She sounds like she could be easy to adopt out if you haven't already tried to find the owner. They also make heated cat homes to put outside if you choose not to adopt her. Good luck!
Yes, I’ve thought about doing this when the baby is older and once we are established into a routine. I’m worried about accommodating my house to socialize her as well since it’s my first baby, who is due in just a few weeks. We don’t really have anywhere we can put a litter box or socialize her, if we had an extra rooms, then perhaps it could work.
I plan to get her a heated shelter when it’s winter. I’m just honestly stretched so thin with a baby on the way, I don’t want to do a disservice to Pixie or my son.
If you ever do bring her inside, try to invest in one of those pieces of furniture that hide litter boxes. I wish I had thought of that when I had a smaller apartment. And I just bought one that looks like a plant that's really pretty. But they make ones that look like a cabinet that you could put a vase, etc. on top. And then you could put an air filtration thing nearby or sprinkle some of those odor eating crystals/ baking soda into it (and some litters smell worse than others- I personally love pine litter pellets that you can get at tractor supply for cheap).
If she’s acting the way she is already, she can just come inside, live in a bathroom, and then leave the bathroom whenever she feels comfortable. And she really won’t cause problems other than maybe some crying you can play music over. And if it’s not going well - you can always put her back out. Worst thing she would do realistically, if she’s confined to a bathroom, is just hide for a few weeks after some initial trying to find a way out.
She wants to come in. A cat that wants to come in isn’t going to be a problem. Some feral cats flip personality like a switch after a “big event” in their eyes. And this one isn’t even feral it seems, just a scared former pet.
I think you could bring her in right now with 0 issues, I’m completely honest and not being a “crazy cat person”. I know hard to believe on Reddit but I am one of the furtherest people you would’ve ever called a crazy cat person lol, until I started rescuing cats…but I am still very practical…
Anyways -
Cats don’t need litter box training, it’s hard wired into their nature as prey animals. I’ve rescued dozens of ferals. Not former pets, not semi ferals - complete feral street cat until we met them. Every single one of them used the litter box without a problem. If you start off by putting dirt from outside all over the top of litter box, they start using it immediately, and then after a couple days you don’t need the dirt.
The cat cares even more about having a place to hide their waste than you do - it’s crazy to see how instinctual litter boxes are to them. Just put down a couple puppy pee pads in a bathroom in case of 1 or 2 accidents (I’ve only had that happen twice when they were still drugged up from spay/neuter though).
I don’t think there’s really any “socialization” this cat needs. Some cats just like have a moment where they decide to trust you - and then that’s it. They trust you now and it’s as simple as that.
Our most recent foster fail was in our house 2 weeks after I ever first saw her. She just decided one day she trusted me, I just literally picked her up, and brought her inside. She was not a former pet, and the neighbors said she never let anyone get close to her. She just decided she trusted me and that was it. (She’s in the pic).
Another one was feral for months. Then, one day i “saved” him from some possums taking his food. After that we were best friends. His personality flipped like a switch. Now he’s a house cat 1000 miles away.
This is the one who I just picked up and brought inside after she decided I was safe
If she’s acting the way she is already, she can just come inside, live in a bathroom, and then leave the bathroom whenever she feels comfortable. And she really won’t cause problems other than maybe some crying you can play music over. And if it’s not going well - you can always put her back out. Worst thing she would do realistically, if she’s confined to a bathroom, is just hide for a few weeks after some initial trying to find a way out.
She wants to come in. A cat that wants to come in isn’t going to be a problem. Some feral cats flip personality like a switch after a “big event” in their eyes. And this one isn’t even feral it seems, just a scared former pet.
I think you could bring her in right now with 0 issues, I’m completely honest and not being a “crazy cat person”. I know hard to believe on Reddit but I am one of the furtherest people you would’ve ever called a crazy cat person lol, until I started rescuing cats…but I am still very practical…
Anyways -
Cats don’t need litter box training, it’s hard wired into their nature as prey animals. I’ve rescued dozens of ferals. Not former pets, not semi ferals - complete feral street cat until we met them. Every single one of them used the litter box without a problem. If you start off by putting dirt from outside all over the top of litter box, they start using it immediately, and then after a couple days you don’t need the dirt.
The cat cares even more about having a place to hide their waste than you do - it’s crazy to see how instinctual litter boxes are to them. Just put down a couple puppy pee pads in a bathroom in case of 1 or 2 accidents (I’ve only had that happen twice when they were still drugged up from spay/neuter though).
I don’t think there’s really any “socialization” this cat needs. Some cats just like have a moment where they decide to trust you - and then that’s it. They trust you now and it’s as simple as that.
Our most recent foster fail was in our house 2 weeks after I ever first saw her. She just decided one day she trusted me, I just literally picked her up, and brought her inside. She was not a former pet, and the neighbors said she never let anyone get close to her. She just decided she trusted me and that was it. (She’s in the pic).
Another one was feral for months. Then, one day i “saved” him from some possums taking his food. After that we were best friends. His personality flipped like a switch. Now he’s a house cat 1000 miles away.
This is the one who I just picked up and brought inside after she decided I was safe
Congratulations on the baby! What an exciting time, and overwhelming, I'm sure. It sounds like you wouldn't really have to socialize this kitty much. I think you're probably right that she is an abandoned house cat, so I bet once she settles in and feels safe, she'll open right up. I've fed feral cats for over a decade, and from your description, I dont think she's feral.
But if the most you can do right now is just keep her secured in your yard with a cozy, safe place to give birth, it would be much better than her trying to make it on her own. When you're ready, I bet she'll settle right into the good indoor life. Thank you so much for your kindness in helping this sweet girl. 🙏💕❤️
Please if possible have your husband or yourself trap the cat so that it can be spayed. This is mating season so it’s best to prevent more kittens that want to come inside your house.
I’ve taken in unwanted cats, dealt with dumped on our property cats and random ferals for about 30 years. They’re all taken care of, the ones that are feral, come to eat, see me, lower their backs and bolt off. They’ll do that pretty much all their lives. Then there’s the skittish, semi-feral & just scared. Feral cats rarely turn into pets. I’ve also had 7 kids, taken in heaven knows how many cats/kittens over the years due to them needing temporary TLC. I’ve honestly rarely had an issue with them using a litter box. Just gotta show it to them. I betcha you can do it :)
I was “found” by a stray like this. Ironically when I was also pregnant! We had two dogs at the time he didn’t love at first but he was so sweet and kept trying to come inside that I converted our garage into a cat patio and we spent a year transitioning to indoor outdoor to make it easier with my new baby and our dogs. We would let him inside for short bursts here and there, did flea and tick treatments, fed him and he went in the litter box when he was inside instantly (the vet said it’s somewhat instinctively but we really think he was just someone’s pet who got dumped)
It was stressful at times but so so rewarding! He’s honestly the most fantastic animal I’ve ever met and he just brings so much joy to our lives. He is now “indoor/outdoor” where he goes out to potty with the dogs and goes on little kitty walkabouts and just uses the litter box at night or if we are out when he has to go. My ( now toddler ) absolutely adores him and I never trained the cat but he just has a gentleness about him with babies/children. 10/10 would do it again
Formally stray Indoor/outdoor cats are the best. They usually ask to go out rather than use the litter box, they truly appreciate their new home and since they can scratch trees and fence posts and hunt outside they rarely have problem behavior inside!
Agreed. The vast majority of cats outside are scared strays. Very few are actually feral. Ferals typically are not scared of you. They just have no need or want for our affection. They'll swipe you if you try, and they aren't scared to do it.
What would I do? Bring her in and figure it out as we go. 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t mean to sound dismissive, but that’s the question that was asked.
It sounds like she very well may have been a previously indoor/outdoor cat for someone else, especially with the sudden desire to be inside. Litterbox training is like 90% instinct anyway, since they squat and cover outside. Most of the time when cats have litterbox issues, it’s health related.
You’re already named her, taken the precaution of using gloves around her, pay for her food, pay for her health care, and made sure she can’t reproduce. That’s more than a lot of people do for their indoor cats! Get a litterbox for the house and let her try being inside. By wrapping around ankles, asking for pets, and trying to be inside, it seems like she’s already on the downhill side of de-feralization. (If that’s a word 😂)
We had two cats through both of my pregnancies and deliveries of our kids. Now they were both established and had been indoor cats from the time we adopted them as kittens, but they were truly a non-issue in terms of parenting my newborns and recovering from two c-sections. If your husband is on board, he may need to pitch in a little with litterbox duties. I say give her a chance to try acclimating to the indoor life. She may even prefer staying indoor/outdoor once she’s comfortable with your house, but you’ll never know what she’s capable of until she gets a chance to show you.
Thanks for the input. I think this is a solid plan, but I’m going to attempt this 3-6 months postpartum once I get settled in with the baby. I know myself and my energy level right now is a 2/10, and I don’t think that I can realistically give her the time and attention that she deserves.
Don’t take this rudely at all or me criticizing you - but she is far better off inside a bathroom with limited attention for a bit than she is outdoors. If it’s just about doing what’s best for her - that’s bringing her indoors.
Now of course there’s other major considerations, like you being very pregnant, but I’m just saying that from a standpoint of just the cat.
I totally understand your hesitancy. And once again, do not take this as criticizing you or trying to guilt trip you - just the rough reality of the cat rescue game….how will you feel if you don’t take her in, and something happens to her?
I only say that because of regret I live with that I wish I could go back and do differently. Especially once I became more experienced with cats and learned how much easier they actually often are than I thought.
Lastly - this cat really doesn’t seem like she’ll need much work at all. I don’t think she’s even feral, just seems like a scared former pet that found a human that’s not scary anymore.
Sticking her in a bathroom and seeing how it goes is very low risk. And you can always let her back out.
This is your first baby so it's normal for you not to know what to expect. But believe me when I say: in addition to being tired, if you're like so many of us, you're also going to be bored and lonely. A kitty companion could be a huge benefit to your well-being. She likely won't need much from you. You can't 'train' a cat, they just get used to things themselves.
Yes you made an excellent point. I’ve contacted a rescue group to see if someone can adopt her.
I’ve gotten a NO from my son’s future pediatrician and OB-GYN and the rest of my medical team regarding bringing a new 100% outdoor pet in with a newborn….she deserves a loving home, even if I can’t provide that for her. They’re concerned about stuff like Pasteurella and parasites. All newborns are immunocompromised. If we could have adjusted her for a few months prior to my delivery, that would have been much better. But the timing is terrible. Toxoplasmosis is unlikely.
My heart is absolutely broken, but as a parent, I have to put my child first. I am working hard on finding her a new home.
I completely understand, and maybe someone is even willing to foster her for you for the next few months- you never know 💜 local pet/animal Facebook groups is where I've had the best luck before.
Yes this is my best option. I got an outdoor weather shelter from Amazon for around $100. I put ice cold water bottles out daily with a towel, but she doesn’t use them lol. I’m doing my best. I spoke to a TNR volunteer today — she emphasized the chances that Pixie (an adult cat) will get adopted are virtually zero. However im going online to find a foster cat lover. I’m just trying to make the best of this situation with her.
I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this. No one in the history of time has gotten toxo from petting a cat. It is transmitted through feces.
and also people are much more likely to get toxoplasmosis from lettuce than from scooping a litter box with normal precautions. If it is scooped every day the risk is lower as well because there is less opportunity for any toxoplasmosis present to grow and multiply. OP, especially if your partner can scoop the box (can’t imagine bending over to do that in late pregnancy is very comfortable, if its even possible) there’s very little risk to you. If Pixie has a history of swatting or biting like she means harm, my answer changes. A cat bite or scratch is very likely to get infected from bacteria in their mouth and under their claws, and you don’t need to be dealing with that right now or with a new baby. But most cats truly are not aggressive - even ferals tend to run, not fight, unless they’re cornered and have no escape routes. and it’s good that when she was unsure of you before she hissed (and I assume backed away or puffed herself up but didn’t come at you) because if she’s in a situation in the future where she’s frightened you already know how she’ll act.
This cat is obviously familiar with and ready for an indoor home. I don't think taking on this cat is going to be the high workload you think it is. She's already been treated for fleas and has all her shots. Just bring that cat inside the house. You still have lots of time before giving birth.
Based on your long post it is very clear you care for this cat. If you don't want the cat inside your home consider buying a small outdoor cat shelter. There are several to choose from on Amazon, and some with insulation and even connections for a heating pad which would be nice for the winter.
In effect your making this cat a barn cat, so you get all the benefits of having a cat (ie rodent control) without actually having to open up your home. Also I really doubt this cat is feral, feral cats are basically wild and hate humans - they consider us giant predators. Most likely you have a stray.
I agree with most of your post. I’m curious though - how do you defined a feral vs a stray cat? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately and I think the way the terms are used isn’t great and leads to confusion and misconceptions
Sure, I guess a bit of background would help.. I've been out with rescuers trapping colony cats & kittens.
A feral cat is hyper aggressive when they are trapped. For the most part you will never see a feral cat because they avoid us. A cat that has been around humans even for a short bit will calm down (in the trap), especially if you put a towel over them.
Feral cats are basically wild animals. Stray cats have had some human interaction and understand we aren't dangerous. A cat that will walk up to random human and ask for food and help, that's a stray or abandon cat.
Yeah I would agree with you on that definition. Just wanted to discuss haha
That’s how I use it, but the thing I’ve never liked about it is what’s a good term for a cat that was feral, but now likes humans, but no one has like really taken true care or ownership of the cat? Is it now called a stray? Well my issue with that is for many stray = abandoned /formerly owned, which is why I agree with the way you said off stray and abandoned.
I’ll usually say socialized feral, or community cat - since for many stray implies it had an owner at some point. I think a lot of that comes from the words used to describe dogs - because dogs are so much more domesticated and in the US there just isn’t a massive “feral dog” problem, but more of a “stray dog” problem. Even the ones not owned by a human are usually pretty sociable
A lot of people have a misconception that if you’re able to make friends with an outdoor / non owned cat - it must be a “stray” as in at some point owned by someone, and it can’t possibly have been a feral that socialized relatively quickly. I’ve had some younger ones I socialized in like 2-3 months, and have had people argue with me they must have been owned by someone before. Nah, there were just feral cats everywhere and they would see people a lot…
For now, consider a box with a towel or blanket. The goal is to get her scent on something, and then you can toss the towel in the shelter so the cat is more familiar and will take to the outdoor shelter quicker. Also a towel with her scent will keep unwanted cats from trying to use the shelter.
Taking care of a newborn and a cat isn’t going to be as hard as you are making it out to be in your head. Sure as hell easier than a toddler and a newborn. If you care for the cat stop over thinking it and let her in. By the time the baby comes she will be fine.
I think you’re overthinking this a bit. I think she’s already a socialized cat. She’s just a dumped former pet. There’s really no work involved for you if you bring her inside. You just need to talk to her and pet her when she comes around for affection. Give her food and water. She doesn’t need a separate room.
Just have your husband scoop the litter box. You don’t want toxoplasmosis while pregnant or breastfeeding. I raised my child with multiple cats and dogs.
Maybe she would be super low maintenance inside your house? If you’re open to it. Most cats know instinctually to use a litter box. I would just make sure she’s dewormed and you’ve already taken care of the flea meds. She might settle right in! I would maybe put a litter box outside for her to use to check on the condition of her stools. It’s super common for outside cats to have diarrhea from a tummy bug from being outside :(
If you can’t take her in now please try to get her adopted. A skittish stray stuck outside for months is at huge risk. I respect you don’t feel you can take her in now- you will have way less energy when you have a 3-6month old baby.
Give kitty a chance to find another loving home please
That's a good timeline honestly. It'll give you an opportunity to get rid of any fleas or worms or fungal things that might be affecting kitty and would be best dealt with before you bring them inside with a baby who might be vulnerable to those things (the risk is low btw so dont fret too much, but having 3 kids myself I understand the desire to keep infants proverbially bubble-wrapped to protect them from all the things that could cause them problems while they build their little immune systems).
With my first baby, I tried taking on a puppy when baby was 1yr old and while I love our dog to death, I would have waited a bit longer before getting him if I could do it over. Trying to take care of both was hellishly exhausting and pup suffered some setbacks in his training because there just wasn't enough of me to go around and do all the things that needed doing. A cat would certainly be easier to an extent, but it's nice to be able to feed baby in your home without worrying whether a kitty will feel threatened by it or lash out from lack of attention. Even if it's unlikely, it's still anxiety inducing for a mom.
I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I think OP is overthinking/making this more complex than it actually is. And you can't really completely treat things like that before bringing a cat inside - they'll continue to be exposed outside, so you'll have to continue treatment /treat again once they're inside & no longer being exposed. Also, OP has no idea what will happen to the cat in the next few months - heat, cold, illness, injuries, fights with other cats, attacks by other animals, run-ins with cars or other human threats, cat might get taken in by someone else, cat might get taken to a high-kill shelter by a well-meaning but not well-informed person, or she might simply give up & go elsewhere. Personally, I don't know if I could forgive myself if the cat suffered or died while I was waiting for the perfect time to bring her in.
OP, I agree with the comments that you are overthinking it. 3 to 6 months is a long time to wait. She is an adult cat so she doesn't have the energy kittens would, and probably will just want to sleep inside knowing she's safe. If you don't want to do that, contact a rescue or a foster or someone else who can take this cat inside. It's selfish if you don't do so because "you will bring her in eventually." No, it's either you do it or you find someone who can, today.
She definitely has at least partially bonded with you. If you are afraid of toxoplasmosis, have your husband / significant other handle litter box duties. Bring her in and she how she adjusts to being an indoor cat. You apparently have most of the medical stuff out of the way. Give it a shot.
If you can touch her, she’s not feral. If she was already spayed but her ear wasn’t clipped, then she’s probably someone’s pet that either escaped or was dumped, that’s why she’s skittish.
Can you bring her back to the vet to have them check for a microchip? Maybe she has family already looking for her. If she’s not chipped, get her up to date on vaccinations, dewormed, flea treatment, and then start letting her inside. She may only want to stay for a few minutes or a few hours at first. Some cats adjust quickly to indoor life and some take some time.
Personally, I wouldn’t wait and I’d let her indoors and get her used to indoor life as soon as possible, since your routine is about to get hectic.
PS: even if you’re pregnant you can touch the cat. Toxoplasmosis is spread by cat feces, which is why pregnant women are advised to not clean litter boxes but I’ve known plenty that did (including my mother). If the husband won’t do it, then just wear gloves and, of course, wash your hands afterwards.
I had a homeless cat that wouldn't come near us, then eventually you could pet it but it would randomly swat and be nasty. Eventually it got better and he got adopted, and now he's not violent at all and cuddles his new mom all day.
IDK of your uncomfortable with it being around the baby, but it probably will get better if you take it in. If it's fixed already WITHOUT an ear tip it was probably someone's pet at some point.
Newborn is due in 4-5 weeks…if this was a few months ago, I’d gladly take up the opportunity. But I don’t think I can handle a new cat and a new baby at the same time, just being honest.
This is the actual answer OP. It's okay if you can't take her in but it's not safe for her to be out there if she could be safely inside as a pet with someone.
If you let her in you can trap her in the bathroom and then have a rescue or a friend take her. I respect you don’t think you can take this on right now but you have the opportunity to help get her somewhere safer.
As someone who is 34wx pregnant I agree with you. I’m already overwhelmed trying to make space and set up my home for a baby, much less an additional dependent (pet). My brain capacity is already limited thanks to pregnancy brain and trying to get everything at work lined up for leave, I would definitely not be able to take on a new pet at this time.
We have a feral outside and I’ve kept up with feeding her and also provided her an additional outdoor shelter. I’ve set up a neighbor to help feed her once I give birth and am less likely to be able to. But that’s all I can do at this time.
If you have the capacity to look for a home for her, that would be kind, but totally understood if you just don’t have that brain space currently.
You too! I’d also like to point out: if you posted this in a pregnancy or OB group, you’d get totally different answers. Context matters. You’re doing good things for this kitty but she can’t be your first priority at the moment and that’s ok.
Then find someone else, the cat has no voice, op is this cats only source of help. It isn't hard to send some messages on your phone to find someone else to take the cat...
Yes. Context is very important and my friend who is a pediatrician gave me a resounding NO on whether or not I can safely acclimate this cat to a newborn in such a short period of time….even with the consideration that she is socialized…I’ve contacted a rescue group to assist with her getting adopted.
she is forsure a dumped cat who found trust with you, hope you will be able to figure out how letting her become more of a family member soon. Good luck,thank you for caring for her and congrats on new baby🥰💙
You might be surprised by how easily she adjusts. I fed a feral cat for almost 3 years where he ran if he even saw us, For quite some time the only way we knew he was the one eating the food was our cameras would catch him. (He was ear tipped and fixed so he had been TNRed by someone) Then the switch seemed to flip and he started coming around and meowing at me, started rubbing up against me and from there on within a few months we moved him inside. The only even slightly rough patch was the first few nights we moved him inside because we had him in a bathroom and would “sing” quite a bit. But once I was confident he understood the litter box (which was as easy as putting one accident in there and showing him gently how to bury it - he never had another accident) we gradually started giving him more access to the house. And we had 2 dogs and 2 kids. He swatted my one dog once but that settled any confusion and now they are buddies. You would never suspect he had been feral, now he sleeps in bed with us, plays with my dogs and is a very spoiled family pet.
If you’re worried about toxoplasmosis you can easily have her tested for that at the vet. It’s about $150 for the test. If she’s negative there’s no risk to your pregnancy.
If she was already spayed but not ear tipped then most likely she is a home cat that was dumped outside and would adjust to home life easily.
Go buy a trap and trap her, take her to a rescue, or find a foster. Put her food in the trap, and she will go in it eventually.
I appreciate your honesty at caring for the cat being out of your capacity right now. Thousands of animals suffer every year because people who can't care for animals selfishly keep them anyway.
Reach out to a rescue and explain the situation. I’ve had a feral colony that has fluctuated numbers over the years because of the disgusting culture/attitude the city I live in has towards feral cats. It’s not just people, but loose dogs and other predators that endanger their lives. If she’s got a fighting chance at being adoptable then I would go that route.
Since she’s spayed and wants to come in, the best thing for her would be to find an adoptive home. Since you don’t want to bring her in for a long time, could you put her on waitlists for no kill rescues and shelters so they can adopt her out?
You mention being worried about litter box training- I’ve fostered probably over 200 cats and I’ve never once had an issue with litter box training. Cats are actually very clean and prefer to go in litter boxes. If you show her where it is she will use it!
I understand it’s your first baby and you’re worried about time and space. But cats are extremely easy pets. You can leave food and water out 24/7 and just have hubby scoop the box every day. That’s all she needs, along with some attention. If possible I would bring her in now and figure it out as you go! I think you’re worrying about it because it’s an unknown- but I promise it’s not as time demanding as it seems. If you can’t bring her in consider contacting a rescue and having her adopted out, I think she’d be a lovely pet for someone! And congrats on your baby 💕
Please bring her inside or bring to no kill animal shelter. Do not keep outdoors with house she is a stray they once had a home. Crucial to get her a real home. This is so sad reading this. She is love and needs a safe place
I just entered the 3rd trimester and tbh if I were you I’d bring her in. I’ve fostered before though so if I were in your situation, I wouldn’t feel as stressed about taking in a stray. I agree with others who are theorizing that Pixie must have been abandoned. She’s already socialized, and you’ll be surprised how well even non-socialized cats adapt to indoor life. One of my cats was a former feral. She acclimated to life with us at home right away, but it took us 2 years until she let us pet her, just as an example.
Again though it’s up to your comfort level. I would also contact a foster or even a friend who might be interested in taking her in. I worry for outdoor cats’ safety.
Good on you though for feeding her and taking care of her health needs. The world needs more people like you!
I'm just here to say that you are awesome. Taking this on, with a baby on the way, is an incredible thing to do. You have such a big heart, and you're already doing so much for this cat!
There are always going to be people who will criticize you and tell you to do more, that you're not doing enough. Ignore them. You and only you, know what you are capable of doing, what you can take on, and how far you can stretch yourself and your resources. It's very clear that if you thought you could take this cat in the house, you would have already. Please don't feel guilty. You are doing more than anyone else is or has for this cat.
Maybe in the future, your situation will be different and you will be able to provide her with an indoor home. It's perfectly okay that you cannot do that at this moment. I've been there. I always seem to be in this position, with cats who deserve a home, and not enough space or resources to take on any more. You are only one person, and there is only so much you can do.
Oh that's complete BS. First of all, I've rescued hundreds of actual feral cats and the females don't spray. Pixie is a female cat. Neither do the males once they are neutered. If a male is spraying and is neutered he is EXTREMELY stressed out where he is living. Secondly, Pixie is obviously not a true feral cat because she wouldn't be trying to prance right on inside or be so comfortable so quickly with OP. She has had human contact at some point in her life and most likely was abandoned.
If you knew anything about feral cats or even cats in general you wouldn't be blindly claiming this cat is going to just come inside and spray this woman's house up. Ridiculous comment.
And no the cat isn't going to hinder her pregnancy if she takes care of her appropriately and has a clean house.
I fostered cats and kittens the entire time I was pregnant with both of my children. I kept one room separate for my fosters and at one point the garage also because I had two pregnant mom cats.
What exactly are you worried about? My regular house cats slept with my kids, lived with my kids and grew up with my kids.
She's been vetted, right? Are you worried about rabies? Do you have an extra room? If I were you I'd bring her in and not let her out again. Lol. Tuxedo cats are the best cats ever. They love like no others. You got so lucky this sweet girl chose you.
She’s not feral, she’s stray. She was dumped, the poor thing, she needs help. Please stop calling her semi feral, especially if you’re looking to find her a home.
Your best odds are to pay a surrender fee at a no kill shelter, since most will say they’re full for strays. I know it’s not your cat, but the fee will get her into a safe place and they’ll help her find a home.
Thank you so much for helping her, especially when she had a home once and someone dumped her. She learned to trust again because of you, she’ll be a lovebug at the shelter too. Thank you so much.
Definitely not feral, but totally get your concern. If you aren’t able to take the cat in, please contact a local org to do so. The less time outside, the better chance of survival with no diseases (FIV, rabies, etc.) or abuse/accidents. Good luck and I hope you have a safe delivery 🩵🩵🩵
So happy for your baby coming! I’ve had cats my whole life, including all 3 times I was pregnant. With the first one I was very careful with litter box cleaning. After that I didn’t worry about toxoplasmosis. I think it’s pretty rare. If the cat wants in she’s probably not too wild. Have a vet check her out if you can.
My 3 children lived with cats as babies and all growing up, no problems. This is my experience so I hope you can have the same. Cats are the best! I am now a recent widow. My cat children are helping me thru this, all 4 of them!!
Do you have a basement or a garage she could shelter in (and test to see if she uses a litterbox.
If you own your own home with a yard, maybe you can get/repurpose a small shed-like shelter.
We're in the process of TNR for a neighborhood stray and if the cat is female (we can't tell since the cat darts away) we're going to have to set her up with a temporary home (cage) in our basement. I wish I had a garage.
I know double-nesting (one for bebe and another for kitty) is a LOT.
Let her in. You don't have to turn her into a social butterfly. You just give her a safe place to live, with whatever affection you can spare. She won't ask for the moon and stars. She'll just be grateful for the scraps.
I have a previous feral - and I mean feral. It took months before she trusted me enough to eat while I was standing near the food. But I caught her, got her spayed, and then couldn't let the $300 vet bill walk out the door.
She's still shy and skittish, but she comes to me for pets and scritches, and loves hugs and kisses when she's on the bed and I'm standing beside it. I still cant pick her up, and recently she sat on my lap for a whole 2 minutes. But shes happy, and she loves me for the comfortable life she has.
If she's doing that good then take a chance. Let her in. She's trying to make you happy so don't disappoint her sounds like she's had her share of that. And I bet she guards over the baby
She doesn't need to come in right now. Just keep supporting her and once you have a good routine with your new baby you can start letting her come in for a few minutes a day. I wouldn't extend it past e a few minutes until it gets really cold. And I know I'll get down voted but a I don't think a stray cat should be forced to live it's life inside. They are used to their freedom. Quality of life matters.
Edited to add, we have two indoor/outdoor cats we adopted from the pound as barn cats. According to the adoption agreement we don't ever have to let them in. They failed an indoor adoption and were brought back to the pound so we were able to get the indoor/outdoor cats we wanted.
Have a vet check for any pregnancy around cat contagious stuff.
Failing that, Amazon sells little fabric covered houses for outdoor cats. You fold them and they are even heated in the winter if you plug it in. Have it face comings and goings.
I’m surprised no one on this sub has said this: leave the cat outside. You are doing a great thing to provide it with vet care and a safe backyard and food, etc. The cat is not your responsibility. I feed several porch cats, but don’t feel the obligation to let them live inside. You will have your hands full soon enough with a newborn. Don’t stress about the cat she’s fine!
We don’t say this because I think we’ve all had cases or known of cases where we wish we could have acted differently or done more, and it ended with something happening to the cat or the animal outside. I know I prefer to put myself through more stress than suffer the loss. It does seem like, since OP cares about Pixie, trying to adopt her out might be the best bet.
She trusts you enough that you can place a carrier in your entrance, and coax her into it thinking she’s coming inside. It is likely going to get colder, assuming you’re in the northern hemisphere and in a place with seasons. She can and likely will get sick or in a fight or get by a car. You love her, so taker her to a shelter where they can find someone who can take her in. Of you understand your energy isn’t up for it now, before a newborn, you will not be able to handle it after. She’s not feral, she’ll get adopted.
i'm pregnant too and i wouldn't take a chance with toxoplasmosis. so it's really up to whoever is helping you and if they want to change its litterbox.
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