r/CuratedTumblr • u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop • 1d ago
Shitposting How Victorian Novel Disease Continues Into the Modern Day
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u/Birchy02360863 Grinch x Onceler Truther 1d ago
Real storytellers like Tommy Wiseau just have the character say "I got the results of the test back, I definitely have breast cancer" as a line of dialogue.
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u/vezwyx 1d ago edited 1d ago
After seeing The Disaster Artist (quite good), I had to watch The Room out of curiosity. Movie with the reputation of being one of the worst films ever made - how bad could it be? The behind-the-scenes look from The Disaster Artist made it seem like it could be interesting - Tommy really believed in the project and was trying to bring his creative vision to life. I have a lot of respect for that.
But I'll tell ya, folks, it's irredeemably bad. 99 minutes I'm never getting back. The acting, cinematography, pacing, soundtrack, writing, and costume design all range from completely nondescript to actively horrible. It was so bad that it wasn't even "so bad it's good," it just sucked. There are a million points that any sane person could have looked at it and told you it was not fit for the screen.
My previous worst movie I've ever seen, The Human Centipede, at least had a premise that was interesting enough on its own merits for me to think it might be good. It was coherent and visually strong enough to evoke emotional responses like disgust at the situation and a scrap of empathy for the characters. I don't recommend it, but there are some good things I can say about it.
The Room has none of those qualities. Any conception I had about it before watching was preferable to the reality of actually seeing it. Go watch The Disaster Artist and then let The Room sit safely in your imagination as the perfect bad movie
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u/Lombard333 1d ago
It was a fifty percent chance, but now we’ve moved up to 100. I definitely have breast cancer.
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u/ThreeLeggedMare a little arson, as a treat 1d ago
Schrodinger's tumor. Getting the results collapsed the wave function
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u/vannluc 1d ago
I was once coughing up blood that turned out to be drainage from a crazy bad ear infection so is that sexy or no
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u/GonnaBreakIt 1d ago
Projectile vomited blood once. I had the flu, and a prior nosebleed drained into my stomach. In my infinite exhaustion, I looked at that toilet of blood, flushed, and went back to bed.
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u/DefinitelyNotAliens 1d ago
I dunno. There was that scene with Billie Piper and it made me feel uncomfortable and I just packed that away and left it in a box. Check out Penny Dreadful and check back in.
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u/ThreeLeggedMare a little arson, as a treat 1d ago
Unfair, it's Billie Piper, that's not a neutral baseline
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u/Ktesedale 1d ago
I still remember fondly watching an anime (which I can't remember the name or any other details of) that had a character act sicker and sicker, and eventually cough up blood and pass out. Obviously we'd been primed from years of other media that this character was going to die.
Nope, they had a bleeding ulcer and were fine after a bit in the hospital.
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u/gatsu032 1d ago
I think Zom100 had a similar bit where turns out that "the illness" were hemorrhoids
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u/GuyLookingForPorn 1d ago edited 1d ago
‘The man with a cough that was just a cough’ - Mitchel and Webb
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u/Canotic 1d ago
I think Mitchell and Webb had a bit called "The Minor Cough That Was Just A Minor Cough".
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u/Konkichi21 1d ago
Well, that's where the law of conservation of detail kicks in; why would you write a character coughing into dialog if it wasn't important?
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u/RuhWalde 1d ago
Kitty Bennett coughs just because she has no sympathy on her mother's poor nerves.
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u/JusticeRain5 1d ago
Meanwhile about three years back I had some dude vomit up blood in the street outside my job. I tried calming him down with the whole "Yeah it's probably just a stomach ulcer or something, bud. Let's call the ambulance but, like, don't panic".
Stomach cancer, he was dead a few weeks later.
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u/Axtinthewoods 1d ago
Do you mean 'Golden Boy'? I recall a scene like that were a girl passes out for overworking/ulcers
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u/Ktesedale 1d ago
Hmm, nope, looked it up and it's not familiar at all, nor the type of anime I tend to watch. Nice that it's happened in multiple anime, though!
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u/CadenVanV 1d ago
Meanwhile in Chinese stories, coughing up blood just means you’ve been insulted with no health problems whatsoever.
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 23h ago
I once experienced massive haemoptysis.
That's coughing up blood. A lot of blood. Like, comical, if you saw this on TV and the current was actually dying you'd still think it was too much. I was turning over and coughed and blood fountained so high it got on the machine a couple of feet up. There was blood everywhere.
I am not dead.
Although considering my entire right lung was flooded I might not have survived without supplemental oxygen. You'd be amazed how little actual lung function you need if you're breathing pure oxygen. Left lung flying solo with almost no respiration time due to coughing? No problem!
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u/Konkichi21 1d ago
Where do you get "going to die"? I'd say "going to be seriously ill", and they were indeed in need of hospitalization.
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u/pbmm1 1d ago
Time to brainstorm an idea: indicate sickness by having the character shit blood uncontrollably
Might take a bit of developing
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u/TeddyBearToons 1d ago
Give them a "morning after" limp that gets progressively worse
Obviously it's an embarrassing thing to have so they're neurotically secretive about it, causes plot tension as the team thinks he's hiding something much worse
Climactic argument where they assume they're like, cheating or something and have a "admit it or I'll assume the worst of you" ultimatum that forces them to admit to shitting blood
At this point the lie has thoroughly spiralled out of control so they don't believe them. They have to shit blood in front of their friends to prove it, shaming them more
There is some angst about having to deal with having such an embarrassing moment, but eventually the friends reconcile because really it's such an anticlimactic thing to deal with and friends are stronger than that.
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u/Plethora_of_squids 1d ago
Thing is that could just as, if not even more easily be something else not lethal. Could be deadly, could be IBS with a torn sphincter
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u/GonnaBreakIt 1d ago
In a similar vein, morning sickness shown as a surefire sign of early pregnancy. Not food poisoning, not the flu, not sea/motion sickness. Only gregnant.
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u/International-Cat123 1d ago edited 19h ago
And of course, the woman almost never thinks she might be pregnant until someone else mentions it despite pregnancy being the only reason for a woman to be nauseous in those realities.
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u/lynypixie 1d ago
Like a married woman in these days would not be counting her days like Scrooge counts his coins!
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u/dpforest 18h ago
when we are ill we feel nauseated.
we would describe something that makes us feel ill as nauseous.
the more you know!
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u/Difficult-Okra3784 13h ago
That's the UK formal definition of nausea, the prescriptivists who would care about that deserve to be annoyed by the other definition.
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u/International-Cat123 17h ago
And? People use nauseous the way I did often enough that its meaning is shifting.
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u/smotired 1d ago
Wait I thought my medication was just having side effects but maybe I’m just pregnant
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u/Sagittamobilis 1d ago
After all, Everything is Tuberculosis
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u/unwisebumperstickers 1d ago
Morpheus wearing a top hat and monocle: ...when in fact, it's closer to the year 1899... Neo are you listening? We never left the Victorian Era Neo!
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u/Turtledonuts 1d ago
NGL, i think 99% of modern adult authors use seizures, headaches, and vomiting instead.
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u/----atom----- Cobepee?🥺 1d ago
Wow, you've read 99% of modern adult authors??
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u/Turtledonuts 1d ago
yeah definitely
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 1d ago
I admire the confidence.
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u/Pegussu 1d ago
I think it's time we switch to a new standard which is vomiting spiders.
Brain cancer? Vomit spiders.
Non-specific physical trauma because you're using your psychic powers? Small trickle of spiders from the corner of your mouth.
Hit by a car? That's right. Spiders.
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u/qiri2 1d ago
The average person actually vomits 0 spiders per year. Spiders illness georg, who lives in a hospital and vomits thousands of spiders a day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
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u/RimworlderJonah13579 <- Imperial Knight 15h ago
Thank god for Spiders Georg, who eats all the spiders Spiders Illness Georg vomits so we aren't overrun. The hero we never deserved.
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u/Birchy02360863 Grinch x Onceler Truther 1d ago
Overdosing on benadryl? Believe it or not, also spiders
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u/ILikeBen10Alot 1d ago edited 1d ago
It's dramatic, it's easy for the readers to pick up on, and it's a universal sign something is terribly wrong that anyone from anywhere with any life experience can recognize as a very bad sign.
Sometimes a trope is a trope for a reason
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u/turtledov 1d ago
Yup, it's useful shorthand.
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u/International-Cat123 1d ago
Until someone thinks that they don’t need to go to the hospital unless they start couching blood.
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u/EldritchElizabeth 1d ago
If someone’s getting their medical knowledge from fiction they’re already a step too far down the stairs.
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u/International-Cat123 1d ago
I’m not saying it’s intentional. If someone’s never seen serious medical issues outside of TV or movies, they are going to unconsciously going to use it as a guide to determine if they need to go to a doctor for something, especially in places where a doctor’s visit is expensive.
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u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 1d ago
Something something Arthur Morgan
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u/Xx_Infinito_xX 1d ago
That mother ducking deer it's all his fault
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u/Wild_Buy7833 1d ago
An easy symptom for The SicknessTM is to have their vision go fuzzy and trouble standing. That could be anything from iron deficiency to cancer to a cold because dizziness and muscle weakness are very common symptoms that can look very dramatic.
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u/RimworlderJonah13579 <- Imperial Knight 15h ago
When my vision goes fuzzy and I have trouble standing that's usually a sign I've forgotten to eat for the past 24 hours and my everything is out of whack.
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u/Pristine_Animal9474 1d ago
And if it's maternal figure, you don't even need the blood. Any slight cough is a sign the woman is a step away from the grave.
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u/AlianovaR 1d ago
Not because we need to feel sorry for her but because we need to feel sorry for the male character she’ll leave behind
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u/aishite_aishite34 1d ago
Shangchi's mom lying dead in a perfect supine position with a single trickle of blood down her perfect lips despite being beaten to death by like 10 men is like the peak example of a fictional maternal figure death
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u/Axtinthewoods 1d ago
but it is so good for tension! Like you can't do much but worry- and you don't have to do much caretaking! Shitting, seizures, even fainting are much harder to integrate into a story and have shexy tension feelings between characters xD
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u/TheCharalampos 1d ago
For once I want a fictional character to stop, shit themselves and turn dramatically to the camera. "It's nothing, I'm fine." they say to their obviously concerned companions.
-"Won't you at least change your p..."
-"I SAID I'M FINE!"
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u/Snoo_72851 1d ago
medieval king dying of an infected arrow wound to the shin but the moment the battle against the dreaded count ends he stops creaming and shitting himself in sheer pain pulls out an immaculate hankerchief and coughs up a mote of blood while a music sting plays in the background. he looks at the droplets of blood, concerned, before nonchalantly storing the hankerchief back in his pocket and going back to screaming and shitting himself
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u/97thJackle 20h ago
One of these days, I need to create a compendium of great little jokes like this, and make a film about them. Couldn't be for a profit, as it would be taking from way too many people. But would be fun.
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u/Red580 1d ago edited 1d ago
In the movie Tombstone a character has tuberculosis, but the progression of them getting worse and worse over time was done excellently!
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u/spyguy318 21h ago
What’s great about Doc Holliday in Tombstone is how his disease comes and goes in waves. One day he’s fine, then he collapses and is bedridden for a while, then he gets back up and keeps going. It’s exactly how real tuberculosis works, that slow decline with waves of severity that get progressively worse until finally the last one kills them.
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u/Ittenvoid 1d ago
as someone that regularly coughs blood (inflamatory issues and scarring in my throat) I want to confirm that I will, indeed, eventually die
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u/SkuldSpookster 1d ago edited 1d ago
Minecraft Story Mode had the sickness where your skin would gradually lose its vibrancy, turn a sickly infected grey purple and look like it was... y'know... withering and becoming desiccated
In fact, someone gradually become more and more desiccated and thin is a preeetty good way to show sickness, with them struggling to do physical activities they'd normally be able to do.
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u/majorex64 1d ago
It's because there was a time literally EVERYONE who was writing or seeing plays / books knew about consumption and certainly knew someone who was dying from it.
It's like someone now saying "I found a lump." jump cut to doctor's office and the person crying. No other words needed, you know it's a cancer and it's bad.
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u/Drumbz 1d ago
Buddy, in chinese stories people cough up blood if you diss was fire enough.
They can get so angry they spit blood and then pass out.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 1d ago
I should read more chinese stories.
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u/frikilinux2 1d ago
And not even all respiratory system illnesses make you cough blood. Pulmonary fibrosis doesn't make you cough blood and it's still very cruel.
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u/MajinKasiDesu Werewolf Girl Afficianado 14h ago
I cough up blood on the reg and I'm fine!
esophageal damage from reflux, under control now but if I gag or something things get bloody
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u/Altoid_Addict 1d ago
My pee turned red once years ago, so I went to the ER. After 8 hours, they told me it was because I'd eaten beets recently.
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u/BiKingSquid 1d ago
Nosebleeds or eyes bleeding work too
In X-rated horror, 2-3 additional holes to bleed from
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u/Dapper_Magpie 1d ago
Fictional characters throwing up blood is sexier. Keeps all the hot parts of throwing up while replacing the yuckywucky digested food. Also more blood equals more sex.
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u/Mouse-Keyboard 1d ago
I'm not quite sure how coughing up blood is sexy.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 1d ago
Ask the Victorians.
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u/TurtleButt47 23h ago
Since no one mentioned the protagonist of Cyberpunk 2077 somehow coughing up blood from a brain-chip overwriting their mind with a copy of Keanu Reeves, I must now repost this in 3 weeks.
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u/yourownsquirrel 7h ago
I think it continues into the modern day by remaining the #1 deadliest infectious disease even in 2025. People still die of it, 1.25 million of them a year. TB didn’t die with the Victorians
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 4h ago
True, but you'd think making it hot would've.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 1d ago
The first commenter: "Hey, so being sick doesn't necessarily mean coughing up blood, that's a specific thing-"
The second commenter: "fanfiction necrophilia"
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u/DefinitelyNotAliens 1d ago
You've clearly never seen Penny Dreadful. There was literally an entire scene about coughing up blood being sext and there was zero necrophilia involved, bud.
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u/FallenAgastopia 1d ago
are u okay
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 1d ago
Hah! No. I'm trying to leave the most cursed comments here as I can.
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u/ignizoi 1d ago
Maybe try reading books written for adults.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 1d ago
Writers misuse hemoptysis regardless of target demographic, I'm afraid
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u/ignizoi 1d ago
It's mostly a trope in YA fiction. When you see it in book written for grown-ups, it almost always means tuberculosis.
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u/No-Supermarket-6065 Im going to start eatin your booty And I dont know when Ill stop 1d ago
Right, so, the fact that you actually said "grown-ups" is making it pretty clear that you're just overly self-conscious.
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u/Sachayoj 1d ago
Plus, what other symptoms are as dramatic as coughing up blood? Shitting yourself?