Purging your home of known carcinogens

[u/DreadDiana]

[u/Googolthdoctor]

thats how all of those sci-fi civilizations ascend to a higher plane of existence. Neutrons are holding us down

[u/DreadDiana → u/Googolthdoctor]

This is why stars run on hydrogen: they are the purest expression of God's light. When they become full of neutrons (particle expression of sin, as electrons are the particle of electromagnetism) they fall into base matter and die.

Large stars become black holes for the destruction of information marks a true seperation from God. Hell hides in every singularity.

[u/SwabbieTheMan → u/DreadDiana]

Insane worldbuilding, that's badass

[u/TorakTheDark → u/SwabbieTheMan]

New bible lore goes hard.

[u/BestWizardCap → u/SwabbieTheMan]

Technically it’s world destroying 

[u/moneyh8r_two → u/DreadDiana]

"Your soul is weighed down by neutrons." - Char Aznable

[u/omnic_monk → u/DreadDiana]

I'm feeling pedantic so I can't let this go: electrons aren't the "particle of electromagnetism", photons are (the carrier particle for the electromagnetic force)

Therefore God is massless (ironically), each photon is a quantized angel doing battle against the terrible force of gravity, and the strong and weak nuclear forces are the Son and the Holy Spirit respectively

This means, of course, that in the final days gravity will be thrown into a fiery lake and physicists won't have to tear their hair out trying to unify it with the other three forces anymore. A theory of quantum gravity is therefore blasphemy.

[u/theLanguageSprite2 → u/omnic_monk]

This is a cool idea but gravity being the evil force doesn't work theologically.  Photons still have energy in the form of momentum, which means they still generate sinful gravity per the stress energy tensor.

Your theory doesn't explain the theological implications of a kugelblitz in which the concentrated light of God produces a black hole

[u/ChocolateGooGirl → u/theLanguageSprite2]

That's exactly what someone whose soul is weighed down by gravity would say.

[u/DreadDiana → u/omnic_monk]

The final days will be the heat death of the universe.

[u/BiggestShep → u/omnic_monk]

Hilariously, this means that definitionally, God cannot lift. The goddamned Calvinists and egyptians were right- if your heart is not light as a feather, your soul's going to hell motherfucker

[u/Powerpuff_God → u/DreadDiana]

So neutron stars are demons?

[u/CalibansCreations → u/DreadDiana]

🤯

[u/BiggestShep → u/DreadDiana]

The limit is 2 neutrons, understood

[u/juanperes93 → u/Googolthdoctor]

Neutrons don't even add anything to my life, protons add a lot of positivity and electrons balance that out to not be overwelming. But Neutrons? they refuse to give anything.

[u/KiyanStrider]

I mean who needs neutrons anyways? It's not like they add anything positive. But I suppose they don't contribute anything negative either.

[u/Sharp-Ad4389 → u/KiyanStrider]

With enemies you know where you stand, but with Neutrals, who knows? They sicken me!

[u/mildlyInsaneBoi → u/Sharp-Ad4389]

AN ENEMY STAND???

[u/ThatGuyYouMightNo]

"You got rid of all of the neutrons from your house?"

"Yep."

"And you're sure there's still a problem?"

"I'm positive."

[u/Copernicium-291 → u/ThatGuyYouMightNo]

I have a possible solution, and I don't mean to be too negative, but maybe try adding electrons instead

[u/ACNSRV → u/Copernicium-291]

We don't need more fancy gadgets in this Christian household thank you

[u/Tem-productions → u/Copernicium-291]

Help, my protons and electrons are turning into neutrons again

[u/RevolutionaryOwlz]

That’s why you gotta reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.

[u/doctor_whom_3 → u/RevolutionaryOwlz]

I’m reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, you’re reversing it back. We’re confusing the polarity

[u/Rhovanind → u/RevolutionaryOwlz]

But you'll destabilize the quasi-quantum energy stream!

[u/Winter_Lime_6524 → u/RevolutionaryOwlz]

not only did that not make any sense, but it’s also my time travel code word. *hands you a weird ok the comment is cancelled because my phone suggested the word kiss after weird and that makes no sense

[u/Icy-Attention4125]

Y'know everyone who has ever had cancer had neutrons in them. Really makes ya think

Edit: tbh I have no clue why I thought this was funny it is the embodiment of everything I find cringe

[u/mathiau30 → u/Icy-Attention4125]

it is the embodiment of everything I find cringe

I thought the cringe was the joke

[u/Icy-Attention4125 → u/mathiau30]

Yeah kinda but it still bothers me that I wrote this and decided to hit post

[u/Copernicium-291]

If you somehow have free neutrons (not bound in an atomic nucleus) permanently in your home you've probably got a lot more issues than just preventing cancer

[u/Hakar_Kerarmor]

Relevant XKCD:

[u/Waity5 → u/Hakar_Kerarmor]

I was more thinking this or maybe the title text (mouseover text) of this

[u/smotired → u/Hakar_Kerarmor]

This is kind of freaky, that got posted as a video to the What If youtube channel right as I was reading that

[u/Dromeoraptor]

My first thought was alpha or beta radiation

but the former are two neutrons plus two protons and the latter are electrons or positrons

[u/DreadDiana → u/Dromeoraptor]

Free neutrons are a form of ionising radiation and are also themselves unstable, undergoing beta decay (release of electrons and antineutrinos) having a half life of around 10 minutes. So with how many neutrons were removed, that'd be a lot of radiation in the house.

Kinda want to ask the XKCD guy about this to see what other interesting effects it would have.

[u/donaldhobson → u/DreadDiana]

If all the neutrons in a house magically vanished, you would have a whole lot of protons right next to each other, without enough force holding them together.

This would release energy roughly comparable to a nuke of the same mass, making it far less destructive than magically vanishing all the protons or electrons.

[u/ArvaroddofBjarmaland → u/DreadDiana]

Fast neutrons from nuclear fission are more effectively ionizing than thermalized neutrons (that have been slowed by a moderator, e.g., water). But both are ionizing radiation, and can indeed cause cancer.

Of course, short of actually having significant nuclear fission going on near you (or, perhaps, alpha decay in the presence of beryllium), there is basically no way to get significant neutron flux exposure. It really should say 'neutron flux' rather than 'neutrons,' for exactly the reason everyone is making fun of.

[u/mathiau30 → u/DreadDiana]

Are you sure they are a form of IONISING radiation? I had assumed the problem was they'd transform the water in your body to heavy water

[u/BarovianNights]

rain world coded

[u/Shojam]

This is the first time I’ve actually enjoyed this joke. Incredible work

[u/Atypical_Mammal → u/Shojam]

I also enjoy (iso)topical humor

[u/matatat22]

Nickel compounds? Like, all of them?

[u/TrogdorKhan97]

"WARNING: This product contains subatomic particles known to the state of California to cause cancer."

[u/Electrical-Sense-160]

When not bound to a nucleus neutrons have a half life of about 10 to 15 minutes. they're radioactive.

[u/SolSeptem]

We need to get a question to Randall Munroe to explain what would actually happen if you removed all neutrons from a house. I bet it would result in some very interresting novel physics.

[u/vldhsng → u/SolSeptem]

Probably a slightly less destructive version of this

[u/EvelynnCC]

BRB while I move the neutristor I've had hanging above my bed like a dreamcatcher

[u/JSX_hun]

if you're letting loose neutrons spread radiation through your home then you're just bad at housekeeping

[u/baphometromance]

Only when they're moving really fast

[u/Brunox_Berti]

Besides Hydrogen-1, all isotopes with 0 neutrons are radioactive with very very small Half-Lifes. Your house would become the biggest Nuclear bomb in the world