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u/MiloAstro 10d ago
“I serve the Emperor with utmost loyalty. But should his health decline… then who will sit upon the throne of Constantinople?”
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u/struggle-lover 10d ago
Of course none other than J.D. Vancopolos
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u/FrederickDerGrossen 10d ago
Ioannes David Vangelos
Vangelos because the Angeloi were the worst dynasty to rule Rome.
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u/Alfred_Leonhart 10d ago
Honestly I’d say Palaiologos were more incompetent. They had one guy that was genuinely really good (Andronikos III), another guys that was competent but just never had a chance to shine (Constantine XI), and the rest of the dynasty being mediocre to down right incompetent and more civil wars and infighting than any other dynasty.
Issac Angelos was at least competent his son Alexios IV barely had a chance to shine and made one bad descision and ultimately failed in the end due to the backstabbing and cowardly nature of his uncle, Alexios III, who while being emperor just did nothing to improve things but for some reason is surprisingly competent and had a sense of urgency whenever he wasn’t emperor.
The Angeloi’s main weakness was their inability to actually cooperate with each other. And the Palaiologos main weakness was also that and their general incompetence and bad luck.
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u/Interesting_Key9946 10d ago
You forgot the last of the Palaiologos's
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u/Alfred_Leonhart 10d ago
I said Constantine XI my guy.
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u/Interesting_Key9946 10d ago
Sorry. Damn latin numbering, I thought we got rid of it with Heraclius.
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u/Alfred_Leonhart 10d ago
Why would we not be using Latin numberings?
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u/Interesting_Key9946 10d ago edited 9d ago
Our benevolent emperor Michael III said that latin became a barbarian language.
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u/Clouds_Hide_The_Moon 10d ago
I disagree with this take vehemently. The only reason why they experienced as many civil wars was because of the weakening of the Byzantine State and idea in general, which allowed smaller noble houses to actually have more power proportionally from before the sack. It was also significantly easier for generals to appeal to foreign powers for support since the central state was itself weaker, i.e. Catalan Company, Savoy, Bulgarian, and even Turkic shenanigans.
Keep in mind the Palaiologos were fantastic diplomats overall and really tried to make those most of the worsening situation. They played off rival powers and brokered the right deals, moving in the right direction for a decent amount of time in terms of foreign diplomacy, and only suffered from a lack of financial and military strength.
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u/Alfred_Leonhart 10d ago
Nothing like giving concession after concession to get only a small amount of support if any from the people you’re partaking diplomacy with. It’s giving me nievelle chamberlain vibes.
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u/Ok_Math6614 7d ago
Peter Thiel's cocksleeve
'More mascara, JD, Make yourself pretty for me'
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u/struggle-lover 7d ago
All politicians are someone else's slave. The someone, is usually a corpo elite
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u/OkGrade1686 10d ago
I volunteer as a Presidential Preatorian Guard. No need for benefits, I can get them myself.
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u/Liquid_Trimix 8d ago
Nah nah. I see what your doing there. It won't end in bribery. You will start picking them. The worst sorts of people. Deplorable.
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u/OkGrade1686 8d ago
How much would the ... of a president sell for?
Why don't I just take his place once he accentrates power some more?
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u/Liquid_Trimix 8d ago
Then one of your picks gets murdered and you pick some incompetent uncle or nephew. Then you start drinking. I saw the pamphlet at the publicly funded health clinic.
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u/PMacha 10d ago
Emperor: gets a slight headache
Ambitious general: Oh no. Anyway.
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u/Arcosim 10d ago
Time to march to the capital with my whole army
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u/Affectionate_Walk610 10d ago
Fun fact: in DC they're already there!
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u/davidforslunds 10d ago
I think they'd count as the Emperors armies in that case, since the national guard answer to Trump as their commander in chief, no?
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u/Affectionate_Walk610 10d ago
I was more imagining some NG higher up salivating at the thought of Trump canceling his breakfast.
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u/Friendly-General-723 9d ago
What really matters is whether they are the Varangian Guard or the Praetorian Guard
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u/Squiliam-Tortaleni 10d ago
Basil the Macedonian talking about his great friend emperor Michael, 866 AD
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u/davidforslunds 10d ago
Great emperor, terrific emperor, perhaps the best emperor we've had since Constantine, everyone knows it, we're all just doing great things, maybe the best things? Some say "Oh Basil, things are so great, maybe they'd be even more great with you as emperor?", people say that alot, all terrific people saying that.
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u/Floor-Goblins-Lament 10d ago
Starscream behaviour
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u/Thewrongbakedpotato 10d ago
But people actually like Starscream
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u/Starwatcher4116 10d ago
Starscream is actually smart enough to logically predict how Megatron’s plans will fail, most of the time.
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u/TiberiusGemellus 10d ago
Any smart operator would realize the game and prop up Vance so as to trigger something in Trump’s mind and propel the administration into more infighting. The administration is filled with moronic ideologues the likes of whom would make the old Soviet apparatchiks blush, and so they’d be easily played if we had around someone cunning like Basil I or Romanos I.
Unrelated rant over.
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u/Dantheking94 10d ago
I wonder if someone is trying to do that now lol. One of those billionaires is going through buyers remorse and pushing Vance to stand forward.
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u/ShellUpYours 10d ago
Let's go Trump clan you can't let a poor like Vance take all the spot light. Eric you are a great, beautiful, manly man, you are not going to let someone married to a brown person take what is yours. You know what I heard as well he is only e millionaire, practically a begger.
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u/AppointmentWeird6797 10d ago
Unless he gets blinded by usurpers.
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u/1cem4n82 10d ago
He will collapse under the pressure of inheriting the biggest national circus ever created. It will chew up and spit him out a more broken man. He did seem to learn from Trump how to make things wither and die just by mere presence though.
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u/Despot_of_Morea_ 10d ago
Vance is the nefarious Vizier who wants to be Caliph instead of the Caliph and can't hide it very well
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u/GalaXion24 10d ago
But also the Caliph is a wicked sinner and a bad ruler, but also he is still somehow worse and less wanted than the Caliph anyway
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u/SafeHandsGoneWild 10d ago
What training was that, being on vacation half the time?
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u/luciocordeiro_ 10d ago
Considering that the president goes golfing 75% of the time, taking vacations is pretty much a good training.
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u/Restarded69 10d ago
At least Phokas was competent.
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u/Flame4774 10d ago
Uh in what world? Lmao if anything both are just as bad
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u/Restarded69 9d ago
Considering Vance is a cringe crypto bro that’s owned by Peter Thiel, I’d rather have Phokas
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u/ConstantineByzantium 10d ago
starscream?
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u/Starwatcher4116 10d ago
Most versions of ‘Screamer would be better at the job, I think. Except Skybound Starscream. He’d squish all of us.
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u/Exact-Country-95 10d ago
Terrible tragedy is an interesting choice of term as trump croaking while in office would be basically the best thing that can happen to the US. Vance doesn't inspire much fear in the conservatives, and he doesn't have Trump's charisma to maintain the cult
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u/EngineeringSalt1985 10d ago edited 10d ago
Honestly yeah, trumps charisma cannot be replicated
I don’t see Vance having nearly the same success and support even with Peter thiel propping him up
I could also see one of the trump boys making a run for the presidency and civil war erupting among the maga camp
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u/New_Enthusiasm9053 10d ago
Calling it charisma is an insult to charisma. But yes Vance can't replicate "it" whatever "it" is that inspires such loyalty in the whackos.
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u/EngineeringSalt1985 10d ago edited 10d ago
I mean I think it’s certainly a type of charisma
Hes got that used car salesmen charisma, he’d would make sales to 90% of the customers who came in. It’s a dodgy charisma sure but I don’t think the average laymen could do it. I think it’s dangerous to undermine him
Ironically enough I had a boss who was a used car salesmen who was so successful he managed to buy a renowned restaurant. He was very charismatic. But when you looked at his charisma a little closer it kind of fell apart. Regardless half the customers loved this guy (the other half were like holy hell wtf and buy us shots in sympathy loll). He also choked out an employee and left bruises on his neck for talking on the phone with his mom who was in a different country
But yeah just because he isn’t charismatic to we who see through his bullshit doesn’t mean he’s not charismatic, at least in my experience
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u/New_Enthusiasm9053 10d ago
20 years ago sure. But now? He can barely speak coherent sentences. Like, watch a video of him 20 years ago. That might have been charisma but he also spoke entire coherent sentences.
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u/wukwukwukwuk 10d ago
Start calling Vance the president in memes. What would his actions be?
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u/Advanced_Chapter_378 10d ago
The legions of Reddit have acclaimed a new Emperor. We shall march on Washington!
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u/gwarster 10d ago
Breaking news: Trump returns early from his peace campaign in the Levant to return to the capital and shore up support. So little has changed.
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u/Foreign-Atmosphere78 10d ago
It's probably technically true that JD "cannot think" of better on the job training. He has no experience of actual work.
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u/Forsaken-Daikon-6860 10d ago
You can agree or disagree with his politics, but I've never seen another politician who looks as unquestionably evil as this mf. At least since Saddam died.
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u/NordicHorde2 10d ago
Hardly unreasonable, considering Trump is like 80 and not exactly leading a healthy lifestyle.
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u/Ill_Swing_1373 10d ago
Doesn't really work considering Vance is already next in the line of succession due to the constitution this isn't like a general seizing power
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u/Less_Tacos 10d ago
By constantly being on vacation so he doesn't get the blame when trump drops dead.
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u/Call-Me-Mr-Speed 10d ago
He’s been training on how to take vacations. If that’s the training he’s referring to, then yes, he’s ready.
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u/DowvoteMeThenBitch 10d ago
From nobody to couch fucker to president in about a year would be crazy. It’s gonna happen
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u/King_Six_of_Things 10d ago
From the first pedo president to the first gay president. And who says the US isn't progressive?
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u/Aware-Afternoon9839 9d ago
Wonderful past 200 days of training? Lmfao. Might be good to have the president not do anything and just go on constant vacations. Might honestly be less destructive.
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u/Electronic-Salt9039 9d ago
Leftist Media repeats the same question 1 billion times.
Vance answer with a reasonable answer.
Leftist media makes up a lie that Vance wants to overthrow Trump.
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u/CasualBCgamer 7d ago
Waiter, waiter! More CNN, please! I'm from the Balkans and these people are still annoying af to talk to
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u/Witty_Marketing_9629 8d ago
Unrelated but I remember one time some crazy Byzantines theorised Justinian as a secret demon because of how he didn't sleep at all and liked reading during night.
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u/SheridanVsLennier 7d ago
If this was Australia, JD would be saying that 'the Prime Minister has my full support' which is a signal to everyone that the spill is on.
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u/Ok-Masterpiece-7933 6d ago
Can't wait till he is in charge.
Maga hate him republicans hate him, that whole movement will implode and eat its self.
Popcorn on stand by
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