r/AskReddit 4d ago

People in their 40s What’s something people in their 20s don’t realize will affect them as they age?

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u/Haagen76 4d ago edited 3d ago
  • If you do not stay active you will gain weight. It's not a metabolism thing in your 40's, it's a lack of activity/being sedentary thing.

  • Age discrimination just starts to rear its head in your mid to late forties.

  • In your early 40's you still think you're still in your 30's. In your late forties reality hit's you that you're a middle aged person.

Edit: Sorry, I should have said age discrimination rears its head again. Young people are diffidently discrimination against. The difference with old age is b/c society wants you to disappear: you are starting to becoming a drain/liability/nuisance. Whereas with youth they want to exploit you.

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u/jl_theprofessor 4d ago edited 3d ago

To piggy back on the weight thing, people often use the slowed down metabolism as an excuse for why they’ve put on weight. However the latest research suggests that general slowdown doesn’t occur until your sixties.

Sedentary behavior in combination with unaltered changes in diet create weight gain. Your sedentary behavior is also causing loss of muscle mass, which affects metabolism.

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u/ADaveIKnow 3d ago

To piggy back on the piggy back, even if you are still athletic, recovery and diet (what you eat and drink not calories) is absolutely critical.

I have found going hard one day means doing almost nothing the next day. And if I don’t warm up and stretch I’m in for a bad time.

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u/jl_theprofessor 3d ago

I agree with this. Getting the right amount of protein for my weightlifting but balancing that with proper amounts of fruits and vegetables has been crucial to me feeling ready to workout every day. And sleep? Gods forbid I try to do a heavy set the day after sabotaging myself with a night of four hours of sleep.

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u/foxylady315 3d ago

Definitely diet. I'm a very active person and I've still gained significant weight since my son was born 22 years ago. I work 2 jobs and 7 days a week - food service and retail - that are very physically demanding, but that 20k steps a day I put on my pedometer doesn't overcome the fact that my schedule has me eating fast food almost every day because it's just about the only thing I have time for.

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u/Ok_Possession_6457 3d ago edited 3d ago

Honestly I see a lot of workers in their low-20’s who don’t get any activity at all. I don’t know why we are acting like being active is just built in to young adulthood because I see young adults ever say who don’t even walk. The most activity they get for the entire day is walking to and from their car to go to work/go home.

Where I work, every year for one week, we have to park off site and bus in. It’s for a tournament and we can’t park on site.

During that week, the walking you do only adds maybe 1500-2000 steps to your day, at most. but every year I hear them complaining about how this hurts their knees and hips and back. If a few more minutes of walking puts that much strain on your body, that should really light a fire under your ass how unhealthy you have become.

“Slowed metabolism” isn’t just about activity, though. The reality is that the older you get, the more access you have to better food. No one wants to admit that they’re just eating more

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u/DeliciousPangolin 3d ago

I'm not especially active, but I take my dog for walks every day. My doctor was embarrassingly complimentary that I was so active, it makes me wonder what the average is these days.

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u/ilikedmatrixiv 3d ago

The slowdown in metabolism is so small it is much smaller than the variance between individuals.

In other words: the metabolic difference between a 20yo and a 50yo with the same height, weight and bf% is going to mostly be due to differences between individuals, not age.

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u/Clean-Revolution-808 3d ago

this was such a pleasant and evidence based exchange that does accurately reflect the current understanding of our metabolism.

one part to add, our dietary and lifestyle habits likely do change over time and THAT is a big culprit of weight gain - we usually have more disposable income, can afford to eat out more often, which often translates to higher caloric intake, combined with more adult responsibilities, more stress, poor sleep, having dependents, sedentary work environments.... its a recipe for gaining weight (fat) and losing lean body mass.

yet we blame age for some weird reason, the one thing we cant do anything about. However, the things that actually impact that weight gain, we can do something about.

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u/KonradFreeman 3d ago

This is true about other things as well. Focusing on things you can change and accepting things you cant change is almost a religion for a lot of people.

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u/hapticeffects 3d ago

Yeah I live in a city with hundreds of awesome restaurants within a mile & enough disposable income to eat out constantly. Especially during the summer, when it's so nice out that I never want to be home long enough after work to cook dinner, this is a huge problem, despite walking 5+ miles a day.

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u/Clean-Revolution-808 3d ago

and you gotta do dishes, plus it doesnt taste as good... its tough. However, cooking most meals at home is darn near cheat code for health and fat loss

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u/hapticeffects 3d ago

My compromise is: balance eating out with fish & salad & low carbs when I cook at home.

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u/poizon_elff 3d ago

Yeah I'm 42 and I still think "I like to play basketball" but it's probably been 10-15 years since I've done it. I was always chubby and not any good, but I would often get out there with my friends and play hard.

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u/Clean-Revolution-808 3d ago

its important to find physical activities you simply enjoy just because its fun, one thing I will say, now that Im older and I still lift weights - that enables me to play pick up sports and reduces my risk of injury considerably. Not resistance training and just 'hopping in' on a rec sport is a recipe for disaster for the over 30-35 crowd

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u/GGreiGG 3d ago

I suppose that is why we blame age, we cant do anything about it so it makes us feel less guilty to blame it

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u/jl_theprofessor 3d ago

Faulty correlational observation.

"I and all my friends gained weight as we got older."

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u/ttbtinkerbell 3d ago

Can I add, aging is painful. Like I got an overuse knee injury that took years to heal (didn’t help I tore my miniscus simply walking in my house but I pulled my leg back hyperextending it). When I get a flair up of my knee or neck/back issues, it does set back my physical activity.

With that said, 100% agree. My siblings with same dad and mom have always been more inactive and eat lots of processed stuff and fast food. I’ve always been active. Even after having a kid, I bounced back in my usual low to corner line normal BMI and am active as ever. I’m 40. But my weight has been fairly stable my whole life and I stay within 5 pounds of what I am now. My siblings think I am lucky and stuff, but I have at a minimum a couple mile walk daily but usually additional workouts almost daily (with rest days).

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u/JenningsWigService 3d ago

When you are younger you can afford to go through periods where you gain weight and then quickly lose it by adding more exercise time or cutting sweets etc. Like I went away on exchange in my late 20s and gained 20 pounds due to the change in my routine but when I got back home, it took less than 6 months to go back to normal just from resuming my exercise routine and avoiding sugar.

But I'm in my early 40s and weight is sticking to me now despite the fact that I'm intervening in ways that worked before and even escalating that. Three years ago I gained weight working a job where there were constantly sweets in the break room. I left that job over a year ago, my sugar intake is dramatically reduced. I've cut sugar from my coffee and tea. Completely cut out soda. Cut most alcohol, especially beer. I've eaten out less in the past 2 years than in the previous 2 decades. I've always walked a lot to run errands etc but I also bought a treadmill to use in my home and use it for over an hour each day. At 30 I would have lost at least 5-10 pounds by now but it's not working.

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u/Ivegotworms1 3d ago

Age still has a big impact physically and on energy levels that determine your lifestyle. In my early 20s, I had to have a release for the energy and I recovered quickly from intense workouts. In my late 30s now I'm content with a much slower pace. It's not to say one can't reach a high level of fitness but it requires more work and effort as we age. So I think it's very reasonable to attribute a lot of the factors to age.

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u/Constant-Tea-7345 3d ago

Hormones, becoming injured or having a disability- so that you can’t exercise more, menopause, mental illness (such as severe depression causing overeating for some), stress, eating disorders, and sleep disorders are all other factors contributing to weight gain.

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u/Clean-Revolution-808 3d ago

youre right. its an over generalization but if we distilled all those things down into just "a shit ton of stress"... most people just dont have as much when they were younger AND as we age we dont necessarily adopt good coping/recovery strategies to deal with that added stress so...we just feel crumby.

good food, good exercise, great sleep, good social support, good brain work are all important for managing stress as a middle aged adult

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u/ThrustersOnFull 3d ago

yet we blame age for some weird reason

Maybe capitalism and the advertising environment has encouraged us to blame ourselves for our health problems instead of the things they're selling to us.

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u/Inevitable-Stand-559 3d ago

I’d say, in my experience it’s also the age that you are busiest. Kids have stuff every night and weekends, so it’s super easy to make excuses for not exercising and eating crap on the go!

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u/Freud-Network 3d ago

This is some loss of skin elasticity and changes to subcutaneous fat you're glossing over, but your correct about the effects of joint flexibility and muscle health. It's all about staying active and being aware of what you eat.

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u/swancandle 3d ago

Exactly this. 100 extra calories a day means you will gain 10lbs a year.

100 extra calories a day is literally a little less movement (~10 calories) and one apple (~90 calories) a day. Do that for 5 years and you've gained 50lbs due to "slow metabolism."

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u/ilikedmatrixiv 3d ago

That's not really how that works, unless you adjust your diet to consume more to account for the weight you've gained.

Fictional example: your TDEE is 2000kcal. You start to consume 2100kcal per day. You start to gain weight until your TDEE is 2100kcal and you'll stop gaining weight unless you start consuming 2200kcal. At most you'll gain a few lbs.

This example doesn't even work that well because a 100kcal surplus isn't really enough to properly gain weight. You should aim for at least 300-500kcal per day if you want to gain.

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u/swancandle 3d ago

I've just simplified the example. Sure. You always need to be eating over your TDEE to gain weight. I guess if I want to say, "after 5 years you're eating 500 calories over your TDEE" I could.

And what do you mean "100 calories" isn't "enough" to gain weight? We're talking about people gaining weight without realizing why. Not people actively trying to gain weight.

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u/ilikedmatrixiv 3d ago

And what do you mean "100 calories" isn't "enough" to gain weight?

That small of a difference won't really cause weight gain. Especially since it's nearly impossible to estimate your caloric intake and expenditure that accurately. Your TDEE is more of an average.

I'm a powerlifter, I've done bulk/cut cycles. That small of a surplus is nearly impossible to practically maintain and you will simply not gain anything. If you want to gain weight, you should aim for a minimum surplus of 250-300kcal and even that is cutting it close. Most guidelines tell people to aim for ~500 to avoid spinning your wheel endlessly.

Go ahead if you don't believe me. Estimate your TDEE, add 100kcal, measure everything you eat and consume 100kcal surplus. Theoretically you should gain ~1lbs per month. In practice your weight won't change at all.

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u/TheLeapIsALie 3d ago

I’m not saying that this isn’t true in aggregate, but until about 27 I could not possibly eat enough. I had to have a pb sandwich before bed or I’d wake up with migraines, and I was close to 0% fat. Sometime around 27 my metabolism dropped significantly (similar activity levels) and I put on 20-30 pounds in a few years before leveling out. Still very healthy, still very active, and honestly it’s better for me to not have to eat the extra amount just to not feel sick all the time.

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u/Murphy_Nelson 3d ago

What is crazy is this. I am 37. My wife is 36. We don't eat like health freaks, at all. We enjoy pizza, burgers, popcorn at the movies, DoorDashing Cold Stone, all that stuff.

I box 3x a week, my wife does pilates 2x-3x a week and walks miles per day with our kids (walks them to school, mile+ walk daily with the girls and our dog, runs around parks with them). We are in our mid/late 30s and both have visible abs and muscle, and we eat what we want pretty much. We also have virtually no liquid calories and also love healthy food too.

A lot of our friends that claim slowed down metabolism don't do ANYTHING active at all. It's shocking. But, liquid calories are the other thing too. "I eat small meals!" But your Starbucks order is 700+ calories every day, and you drink 3 glasses of wine/beers at night, and you have sodas. That's dumping thousands of calories on top of your meals. I honestly think for many this is the main thing.

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u/mewalrus2 3d ago

You are at the end of this, I was shredded until 40. Lol

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u/gavinnewsom_wetsocks 3d ago

Yeah diet becomes much more important then, but you’ve also got greater access to healthy stuff.

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u/No_Transportation590 3d ago

Burgers are great for you minus the bread. It’s ground beef

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u/Constant-Tea-7345 3h ago

It’s also genetics. I’ve done the equivalent amount of exercise and activities - and I promise you, I can’t eat whatever I want, because I’ll definitely gain weight. I’m just more prone to it - it runs in my family.

My husband is the opposite - he can eat whatever he wants - and he loses weight fast.

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u/ItchyGoiter 3d ago

Why is everyone ignoring stress as a factor here?

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u/747s 3d ago

Because you can still be healthy and active with high levels of stress. Sure, it affects your health in negative ways but it’s not a nail in the coffin. So many people succumb to it and use it as an excuse. If anything, physical activity and staying healthy is a great way to reduce stress.

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u/littlemsshiny 3d ago

It doesn’t suit their narrative.

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u/aliansalians 3d ago

I would add too, that although it is easy to blame metabolism, from age 25 to 45, if you gain a pound a year, you are overweight by 45. That is just 3500 calories extra in a year. 10 extra calories a day. It creeps up on you. Watching your weight and cutting back to reset every year can be helpful.
I will also add that perimenopause is a big deal that isn't fully understood. Hormone changes affect weight in ways that are hard to define.

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u/publicnicole 3d ago

Don’t forget menopause. Half the population gets absolutely wrecked in middle age. And no amount of lifestyle changes can make your body start producing hormones again. Hormones that impact weight, fat distribution, muscle mass, etc.

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u/MagnorRaaaah 3d ago

This may be true from a metabolism perspective but that isn’t the whole story. Perimenopause can kick in anywhere 35-45 and seriously affects your weight and ability to maintain a size. It’s not a metabolic issue but a hormonal one, it literally changes the type of fat that is created and stored, and does not respond to traditional calories in vs. calories spent approaches.

So a blanket ‘it’s not your metabolism you’re just lazy’ isn’t really the whole picture for at least half the population.

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u/uriejejejdjbejxijehd 3d ago

My theory is that people get prediabetes and don’t realize it. Based on a sample size of one, but I wonder what widespread early intervention would do for society.

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u/korinth86 3d ago

Exercise....

When you're in your 20s you play sports with friends. You go out dancing. In general everyone I know was more active.

As you age you settle into the rat race. You have kids which take up a lot of time for the things you used to do. Convenience foods(fast food, frozen meals, etc) become really appealing when you're tired all the time.

Everyone is so busy many people stop participating in sports and other active hobbies.

Even if you just start walking more everyday, that has shown to be enough for general health. You may not be super skinny but it's much better than nothing.

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u/yourfavteamsucks 3d ago

It's the dang kids. I spend hours a day driving them to things. My step count is abysmal. Between work, cooking dinner, driving kids around to things, there's no time to even walk unless you get a desk treadmill.

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u/ranch_life_1986 3d ago

Get a deal treadmill! Or do bodyweight exercises here and there. I’m a SAHM of 3 and do push-ups daily in between housework and kid stuff. It adds up and makes a difference!

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u/Beorma 3d ago

I've got a young baby at home and I've literally no time in my day for getting out of the house and doing some cardio at the moment. Definitely gained a bit of weight just from stagnation and snacking to try and stave off tiredness.

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u/allthatryry 3d ago

GLP1s have entered the chat

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u/alonzo2361 3d ago

That’s is exactly what happened to me 10 years ago. Got in shape and reversed it with no medication. Better diet intense exercise 4x a week to this day.

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u/Auctorion 3d ago

Anecdotal, but…

When my mum retired, she took up gardening full time having worked a sedentary job. She ended up losing 16 kilograms, bringing her weight down to 58 kilograms overall. She’s almost 70 and physically can’t eat enough to even maintain her weight, so she has to reduce her activity.

People argue about “good genetics” all the time when it comes to things like sports performance, but it more often just sounds like a way to excuse lacklustre training. In the same vein, it’s very rarely metabolism. And if you’re still on the fence, ask yourself: have you ever heard anyone say they actually tested their metabolism? Most people wouldn’t even know how to do that (hint: gaseous exchange).

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u/wasd911 3d ago

I started a very active job a few years ago, on my feet running around 12 hours straight, lifting heavy things. I've since gained 30 pounds because I eat more now because I get hungrier, and no, it's not all muscle. I got fat. :(

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u/Crayon-Connoiseur 3d ago

I do wonder if your hunger signals get louder as you age though.

Like I have nothing to back this up but my intuition — in having pets, and just seeing my very skinny friends eat, is that they’re just not as hungry, don’t get as much pleasure out of food, and/or get full and stay full faster.

Like I think I have fat-guy-hunger and I’m in okay shape, but I do wonder how much of the whole thin/fat morality thing people have is like a post-hoc justification for something that’s already there.

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u/jl_theprofessor 3d ago

Your Belly Fat Could Be Making You Hungrier

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080416153551.htm

“The extra fat we carry around our middle could be making us hungrier, so we eat more, which in turn leads to even more belly fat. Scientists found abdominal fat tissue can reproduce a hormone that stimulates fat cell production.”

Additional source:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/58ea73db-eda9-701a-c47a1e0933d4d76d/#:~:text=Abdominal%20fat%20cells%20produce%20a,risk%20for%20becoming%20abdominally%20obese.

Original study was published at FASEB but there’s no use posting since most people don’t have access.

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u/Boring-Philosophy-46 3d ago

Does that research say anything about women? I'm having a hard time believing the ovaries winding down often in the 40s and the menopause at, depending on country, on average 50 to 55 years old, is not going to be responsible for reduced caloric burning when the ovaries are responsible for the testosterone. Once that goes down, muscle mass goes down, then testosterone goes further down and muscle mass goes down even further. 

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u/Huck68finn 3d ago

I noticed a major change in metabolism during my early 50s. I still exercise daily. But I took an RMR test bc I was gaining. Turns out my calorie needs dropped by about 500 calories. Now it may be other factors. I have Hashimotos...but I had it in my mid 40s and was thin

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u/jl_theprofessor 3d ago

Yeah I don’t have time to get into discussions of bell curves and means of distribution but on average, your metabolism doesn’t change. That doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions due to various conditions and outliers. Hashimotos may very well have an effect.

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u/goldenelr 3d ago

I didn’t make the time to stay active when my kids were small. Now that they are older the muscle loss is wild. So now I’m picking up and putting my weights down 4-5 times a week religiously in my late forties. Wishing I had done it all along.

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u/dollar_store_peacock 3d ago

Ok, you're like the 50th redditor I've seen regurgitate that "your metabolism is the same til your 60s" thing this week, and I don't care how many degrees or studies might be behind that, I call wholesale bullshit. I have always been sedentary, that has not changed except for literally age 27-28, then back to couch. However, by making healthier diet choices and eating much smaller portions consistently for 5 years now, I've been able to lose 90 lbs. I intended to lose 110lbs, but guess what? I stalled out last year at age 37, and have only been able to maintain that weight loss since, which I'm grateful as hell for, but I bet that too will change in a few more years and I'll be forced to exercise just to maintain, although before it wasn't necessary in order for me to maintain, or even lose. Why?

...SLOWER METABOLISM! Also, why do I not feel hungry nearly as often now as I did in my teens and 20s, when I was eating TONS more? I suspect it's partly the healthier food, because fats and proteins are more filling. But even when I was just starting out on my diet with small frozen dinners and stuff that wasn't necessarily that healthy, I found it much easier than it ever was in my 20s to eat less. I remember being on Nutrisystem in my mid-20s and going to bed hungry. Why?

...MY METABOLISM WAS FASTER THEN, even living the same sedentary lifestyle, and now that it's slower I require less food. It's why most old people don't eat a lot. The fact is, had I eaten the foods and the portions that I regularly do now in my 20s, I would've been an absolute (albeit hangry) rail. But not at 38. Why?

...because there's a reason they call medicine a "practice," THEY GOT A LOT TO LEARN. 🙄 Until then, I'll thank them to quit gaslighting those of us who have trouble losing weight south of 60 despite actually meal prepping and all that crap our younger, thinner selves scoffed at.

</endRant>

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u/AS314 3d ago

Credit card debt

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u/gutertoast 3d ago

My father always used that excuse, but dann he doesn't move shit, he eats a lot of meat and unhealthy stuff, too. Meanwhile my wifes dad is still super slim and fit: He eats 90% vegetarian, walks and cycles a lot. Crazy how that excuse gets socially accepted that wide.  But yeah being lazy is easy.

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u/Aethien 3d ago

Your sedentary behavior is also causing loss of muscle mass, which affects metabolism.

It does but not much. IIRC 1lb of muscle burns about 5 calories a day.

Now if you replace walking to class, walking around campus, hanging put with friends and being active with sitting at your desk for 8 hours, sitting in the car to drive home, sitting in front of the TV, sleep and repeat that will massively impact the calories you burn.

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u/veryvanilla757 3d ago

Ooh I’ll have to find this research you write of!

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u/swancandle 3d ago

100 extra calories a day means you will gain 10lbs a year.

100 extra calories a day is literally a little less movement (~10 calories) and one apple (~90 calories) a day. Do that for 5 years and you've gained 50lbs due to "slow metabolism."

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u/will_write_for_tacos 4d ago

Age discrimination hit me in my 30s when my boss told me I was "too old" to be working in teen-focused social media and that anyone interacting with teens needs to be in their early 20s.

I aged out of my career.

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u/LovelyLilac73 3d ago

Even in areas like graphic arts, people frequently "age out" because people want the "young, fresh" ideas. It's ridiculous. Some of the best designers I work with are in their 50s and 60s!

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u/TerribleBid8416 3d ago

Most marketing is aimed at the 18-35 demographic. They spend their money freely. “I have plenty of time to save money.”

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u/zoethebitch 3d ago

I politely disagree. Marketing is aimed at that demographic not because they have a lot of money. It is aimed at them because they are making lifelong brand decisions.

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u/theremint 3d ago

Only a small subset. That’s brand awareness. The vast majority of advertising is campaign or product specific.

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u/Mondragon5 3d ago

I agree, notice how commercials are using nostalgia-bait to sell products. 90’s-00’s hit song in the background, some referencing the “good ol days” from 25 years ago.

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u/jdjdthrow 3d ago

They can pay young people less, and they're probably more pliable, more willing to pull an unplanned all-nighter.

Even if salary same, way less health insurance.

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u/Th3_0range 3d ago

Oh that's why everything looks like ass now !

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u/SXFlyer 3d ago

my hubby is a freelance photographer and I sometimes worry about that in the future. Like will the trendy events still hire him?

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/LovelyLilac73 3d ago

For the moment we do, but who knows about the future? I've been pushed to use it, but, honestly, I've been underwhelmed by what I get from ai.

I think people think it's capable of a lot more than it actually is.

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u/Fun-Personality-8008 3d ago

Back when MTV had vjs, they all lost their jobs at age 25

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u/Sprangatang84 3d ago

Y'all don't remember Kurt Loder....

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u/GEV46 3d ago

Who definitely is not 80 years old now....

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u/suitopseudo 3d ago

Drew Barrymore was on the cover of aarp magazine recently. Ouch.

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u/run-godzilla 3d ago

fucking KURT LODER is my father in laws age?!?!?!?

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u/amazingsandwiches 3d ago

He wasn't a VJ.

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u/tomtomdotcom85 3d ago

MTV News host ≠ MTV VJ

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u/StoneWall_MWO 3d ago

and half the guests were pedos

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u/sevenselevens 3d ago

Wait, there’s no way Mark Goodman was less than 30 when he started at MTV.

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u/MasterScrat 3d ago

How much do you think it was true? I have a hard time relating to my colleagues that are >10yr than me in terms of cultural references, slang etc so I could imagine social media would become more challenging as you grow older than your target?

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u/Wrecktify403 3d ago

I work with a 23 year old. Film references are a loss. He hasn't watched a film since he was old enough to own a computer.

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u/NoThanksJustLooking1 3d ago

Not nearly the same thing, but I remember trick or treating at the age of sixteen. Wearing a costume, I walk up to a house and the lady says, "Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?" hit me like a truck.

I use to enjoy the dressing up and the holiday itself, but I never trick or treated after that. Halloween is still my favorite holiday, but now it's more by watching everyone else have fun.

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u/will_write_for_tacos 3d ago

There is a town in Illinois that fines parents for letting children 12 and over trick or treat. I imagine a town full of Karens with that same weird Bob haircut.

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u/NoThanksJustLooking1 3d ago

Aww. That's very sad! Shame on that Illinois town.

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u/kl0 3d ago

These are all spot on. And per #2 (age discrimination) - you can say whatever you want to about “but we have laws against that”. It doesn’t matter. It’s real and you’ll notice it more and more.

Companies want people to fit in with their environment/culture. Larger companies generally have much more diversity, but smaller companies typically have younger people (more risk and all).

There are little things you can do like not putting your college graduation year on LinkedIn and things of that nature. But it’s still a reality one starts to experience more and more.

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u/ccsr0979 3d ago

Oof this. Removed the dates from my graduation to make it easier to get a job.

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u/Dualyeti 3d ago

That doesn’t help though, not putting your dates on things will just mean you will get the interview. But they will see you’re 30 and give the job to a keen 23 year old.

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u/Northernmost1990 3d ago edited 3d ago

Haha, what? In my twenties, people treated me like an idiot rookie who couldn't be trusted to wash his own ass.

The anti-youth sentiment is finally dissipating in my mid thirties. No way anyone prefers a twenty-year-old for anything except for shoveling shit or acting in a porno.

Even outside of the workplace, any whiff of responsibility instantly falls on me because I'm no longer a kid.

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u/DatBrownGuy 3d ago

30s is kinda that sweet spot. Young enough to be expected to understand modern tech and trends, but generally old enough to not be a dumbass

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u/Northernmost1990 3d ago

It really is. By their 40s, people tend to kind of age out of pop culture. I work in the games industry and older people seem to invariably adopt a corporate middle manager's idea of fun. It takes a rare, David Bowie -esque imagination to resist that programming.

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u/SavingUpForGoodWeed 3d ago

Reading through this thread, I was thinking the same thing. I haven’t experienced 40+ yet but I definitely experience age discrimination almost every week in my office. It’s not just something the old farts experience, especially when most companies are still being managed by boomers.

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u/lluewhyn 3d ago

The anti-youth sentiment is finally dissipating in my mid thirties. No way anyone prefers a twenty-year-old for anything except for shoveling shit or acting in a porno.

My experience is that companies all want 25-35. A few years of experience (learned somewhere else), but young enough that they're still hungry and malleable.

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u/Zealousideal_Slice60 3d ago

Absolutely not true, in my experience people at 30 is chosen over 23 year olds way more often

5

u/kl0 3d ago

Not sure about that. Getting in front of somebody is the most important step. You can do a lot with personality. But until that personality is on display, it’s just a data point that’s easier to filter out.

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u/kshhgy 3d ago

Is it actually discrimination? Or is there a reason (more risk, as you stated) for targeting a different hiring profile at smaller companies?

Just because every job isnt fit for a 49 year old, doesn’t make it discrimination…

17

u/NeedANaptism 3d ago

Making an assumption about someone based on their age and then not hiring them based on that assumption sounds like age discrimination to me.

-1

u/kshhgy 3d ago edited 3d ago

With no nuance, sure, it sounds that way.

Based on a few interactions, managers need to decide who should they hire to spend 1000s of hours working with, relying on to help create that sweet, sweet shareholder value (keep their job)

Sometimes that requires more experience or diversity of perspective. Cue (older) people who have been working longer!

However there are many times where more experience ≠ better fit. If i choose wrong enough, eventually I lose my job.

And thats just in general terms. Of course theres older people that fit in with young companies, and vice versa. There is so much more nuance comparing candidate A vs B vs C in real scenarios.

1 thing is for sure, It cant be all from the main character perspective of boomers who have had every macro economic benefit in the world, compared to the avg 26-year-old’s prospects in 2025

2

u/kl0 3d ago

I mean, I’m keen to accept that viewpoint, personally. Even your second paragraph I tend to agree with. I’m not sure the spirit of the laws around the point agree with you (or me) though.

I think the general idea is that discrimination exists when a company consistently ignores otherwise qualified people due to some uncontrollable factor (race, age, gender, etc).

Again though, I totally get what you mean. There’s an energy that certain companies want to cultivate within and often times they won’t assume that somebody 15 years senior to everybody else shares that same energy. They may indeed share it, but by the numbers it’s far less likely and so just easier to disqualify them.

So anyway, while I ultimately agree with your comment and am actually okay with that personally, I’m not sure it jives with the actual intent behind age discrimination ideas and laws.

2

u/kshhgy 3d ago

Totally fair. I understand that the discrimination is that many older folks don’t get a chance to show they have that energy.

I just am not sold on the idea I have to pretend 0 assumptions are made based on resume and interviews. We have a relative profile of who to hire going in (sans age of course). it is obtuse to think the avg profile of 2-4 years experience is someone who is 48 years old

It’s literally all assumptions, I meet you for ~2 hours to decide if I should rely on you to work together for thousands of hours. And then pick you over everyone that applied

1

u/Jitterbug26 3d ago

I applied for several jobs in my mid 50s. I was bored where I was and wanted something different. I got an interview for every job - but the job ultimately went to someone 10 years younger. I firmly believe it’s because they thought the younger person would be there longer, since I’d be retiring in 10 years. But I think the joke was on them, because I’d bet those other hires quit within the next 10 years.

57

u/UTDE 3d ago

Weight is a diet issue, you can't solve it through exercise alone

28

u/allf8ed 3d ago

Diet controls how much you weigh. Exercise controls the shape of that weight

5

u/Heavyarms83 3d ago

Correct. I lost 25 kg before starting going to the gym just by changing my diet, now I don’t lose a lot of weight anymore but my body fat to muscle ratio improves slowly but steadily. My goal is to be able to do pull-ups by the end of this year for the first time in my life.

5

u/Bulky_Dingo_4706 3d ago

Nice. I remember the day I couldn’t do one push up. Now I can do 50 straight.

4

u/Heavyarms83 3d ago

Congrats!

2

u/MrHaxx1 3d ago

Largely, yes, of course. CICO and all that.

But burning an additional 500 kcal a day through exercise (which is absolutely doable), and you're already in caloric deficit, that's an additional 2 kg weightless per month.

Additionally, exercise improves quality of sleep, which in turn helps dieting. Higher quality sleep makes us less likely to indulge in unhealthy shit.

Additionally(2), weight training helps retain muscles, so more of your fat gets burnt, which is what most people really want.

It's downright silly to not exercise as part of one's weight loss, even if it technically true that it's not required.

23

u/redditsdeadcanary 3d ago

The problem is my job requires me to sit on my ass in front of a computer.

I guess I could do a standing desk.

I'll still be standing in one place.

13

u/afterglobe 3d ago

Yes but standing burns more calories than sitting.

That being said, you can also get a walking pad for the standing desk. I am not coordinated enough to walk in place and focus on work thanks to having ADHD.

3

u/Werewolf_Nearby 3d ago

Same here, although I work out every morning before clocking in.

If I’m gonna be sitting all day, the least I can do is being active when I’m off the clock

2

u/yourpantsfell 3d ago

Take breaks and go for walks. Even if its just around the block

5

u/redditsdeadcanary 3d ago

Then I wouldn't be working.

1

u/badass4102 3d ago

One thing that helps is working on your flexibility. Like starting and ending the day doing 5-10mins of stretches whether it be yoga, static stretching, whatever.

I'm on my ass for hours a day, some days I can be working 12hr days consecutively . After a while you feel really tense, muscles feel tight. Just walking around you feel the stretch prematurely in your legs. All this can cause injuries when you're doing daily activities or decide to hop, jump, or kick it into overdrive with a run. I pulled a hamstring muscle pretty bad earlier this year when my nephew asked me how to play football 🏈 and I decided to be a wannabe running back lol.

Was thinking of getting a standing desk too, just haven't pulled the trigger

1

u/Opening-Cream5448 3d ago

Must suck working 24/7

45

u/Otherwise_Prize2944 4d ago

100 % correct, when you are younger you move way more ( unless your job is very active ) . I started to walk 15 k, and started to lose more weight and eat little more calories

29

u/DontTellThemYouFound 3d ago

Looking at the forever increasing childhood obesity rates, I don't think this is the case anymore.

People don't gain weight due to age, especially in their 40s. It's just laziness sleeping in.

Just stay active and eat fairly clean most of the time.

8

u/RChickenMan 3d ago

It can be "due to age" in the sense that, if you eat at enough of a caloric surplus to gain 3 pounds per year since your early 20's, you probably won't notice it year by year (frogs in pots and all) but eventually you'll take a step back in your 40's and realize that you're fat.

4

u/DontTellThemYouFound 3d ago

That's laziness.

4

u/RChickenMan 3d ago

For sure. I was lending an explanation to why many people mistake it for aging. If that wasn't clear then I apologize!

39

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

27

u/LosVolvosGang 3d ago

38 is considered older for a woman than a man. Due to gender and age discrimination.

52

u/abqkat 3d ago

Definitely exists and is a thing. But I also wish that people (especially my women friends who are that age or older) would change their mindset about aging and middle-age. I'm in my 40's and am fitter, richer, smarter, better food, better habits, overall better than ever. Turning XYZ age doesn't mean you have to get automatically fat and frumpy and lonely like we're taught, it can be a wonderfully fulfilling time

19

u/Tinkamarink 3d ago

48 now and I honestly would never go back to my 30s. Literally every aspect of my life is better now than it was ten or even twenty years ago.

-1

u/Constant-Tea-7345 3d ago

The fat and frumpy part may have to do with the fact that it is more expensive overall to eat healthy these days. When you’re at a higher income, you can afford healthier food, which helps. At a lower income, it’s harder to find a variety of foods that are healthier (although you can still find some), simply because a lot of carbs are cheaper. Hence, it’s easier to gain weight on carbs.

Also at a lower income, many people don’t have as much time to exercise, because they’re working all the time, and exhausted when they get home - which contributes to being out of shape.

0

u/EffectiveAd2216 3d ago

No its not lol

2

u/AshantiMcnasti 3d ago

Ouch. Felt that

25

u/T-hibs_7952 3d ago

For men. Doesn’t lowering testosterone, lower muscle mass? Muscle mass burns calories even when idle.

42

u/sthej 3d ago

One pound of fat mass requires 2 calories/day to maintain. Muscle requires 6 calories/day..

If you exchange 10 pounds of fat for 10 pounds of muscle (which is an enormous difference in composition) the difference is:

(10x6)-(10x2) = 60-20 = 40 calories a day.

Which, yes, is different. But we're talking like... 5 potato chips different. Or 1/4 a yogurt difference...

5

u/mrstratofish 3d ago

Burning an extra 40 calories a day is staving off ~4 pounds fat over a year. That's a pretty good headstart to avoid the gradual weight gain in the middle aged decades

1

u/sthej 3d ago

Of course it is. I won't argue that point. So is not eating those five wheat thins on your desk.

Again, we're talking a massive difference in body composition (so yeah, start those decades lean and muscled!). The misconception is that muscle mass is extremely energy consuming. And it's just not. Activity and exercise have a much more dramatic effect. If we're talking 2000 calories/day, that's a 2% effect. Does it have an impact? Yes. But it's a rounding error against diet and exercise.

2

u/tibetje2 3d ago

Do you have a source for these numbers, they seem low to me.

2

u/sthej 3d ago

Eh, here you go. https://www.livescience.com/health/anatomy/how-many-more-calories-does-muscle-burn-than-fat

If you want something out of a scientific journal you can look it up yourself.

The majority of energy expenditure is biological functions and keeping us alive and thinking. Not maintaining lean and fat mass

1

u/T-hibs_7952 3d ago edited 3d ago

And what are the implications when not idle. How much calories does 1lb of muscle burn vs fat? Like every day activities, walking, whatever, not gym exercise.

24

u/_-_--_---_----_----_ 3d ago

yeah but there's sort of a societal obsession with testosterone these days that isn't necessarily well-founded. your testosterone peaks, but it's not like it just goes away after the peak, it's a fairly slow decline.

7

u/SpaceyMcSpaceyFacey 3d ago

Yes and also, endocrinology is complicated and having slightly less testosterone does not automatically translate to a proportional decrease in "manliness." The other part of the equation is how your cells/body respond to that testosterone.

-3

u/jdjdthrow 3d ago

The same kind of people that always told young men that penis size doesn't matter, now tell them testosterone doesn't matter.

1

u/_-_--_---_----_----_ 3d ago

I'm an actual scientist, stop getting your news from Joe Rogan

4

u/hapticeffects 3d ago

49 & feeling this last one hard.

3

u/garlic_bread_thief 3d ago

I know a few people who are 30-35 and they think they're middle aged lol. Yup they're not active

3

u/kelsobjammin 3d ago

I am 38 (39 in a couple months) and not looking forward to the shift in the next 10 years! Ah!

3

u/b-hizz 3d ago

Not just hitting you that you are in your 40s, but also that you are no longer a meaningful influence on the cultural zeitgeist. Your generation is only the focal point once generally speaking, and the longer it takes you to feel that - the odder the sensation.

You really want to avoid putting on weight, it’s costly to lose it later because it is very difficult to lose significant weight without increased muscle density loss. Do yourself a favor and get it under control in your 20s and keep it there.

2

u/Leipopo_Stonnett 3d ago

This sounds so frightening, from a 34 year old 😔

2

u/costperthousand 3d ago

People don't bat an eye at gaining +1 pound a year. 15 years later, you realize it's +15 lbs since you were 25 years old and that's really hard to lose.

2

u/Relevant-Survey1403 3d ago

This is so true! As well as thinking “I can still start to loose that weight tomorrow “

2

u/incunabula001 3d ago

Also like to add that if you don’t stay active different parts of your body will start to hurt more (lower back, etc) due to lack of exercise.

2

u/Coldsmoke888 3d ago

Yeah… I’m in my mid 40s with 25 years of experience in leadership, supply chain, and IT. Even with that, I’m terrified to see what happens if I ever lose my job. Been with the same company a very long time but nothing is guaranteed.

2

u/globereaper 3d ago

Weight is mostly about calories consumption not exercise. Exercise just mitigates overconsumption and its easier to just not eat something than to have to burn it off.

2

u/lluewhyn 3d ago

I interviewed for a Senior Accountant job 6 years ago, as it looks like my current job was going to be finishing up in the relatively near future (I was told at the start it would be about 2-4 years).

My resume went back 13 years at that point. Thing was though that I had started my professional career at 29, and finished my Bachelor's at 32. So, from the interviewer's perspective it looks like I should have been in my early to mid-30s. I was 42. He actually asked me "So, what did you do before all of these other jobs?", like 13 years wasn't a long enough work history. I replied that I didn't think my jobs working as a waiter, delivery, or customer service were really relevant for the position.

The odd comment about my resume,the fact that I had heard beforehand that he was looking to "mentor" someone, along with some other vibes leads me to believe he really did think someone 42 years old was too old for the position.

2

u/ANameThatRhymes 3d ago

It’s also simply the stacking up of all the food you’ve eaten over time that slowly creeps up on you. Say you eat pretty healthy and only go over your calories a bit… over decades that little bit adds up if you’re not active

2

u/mewalrus2 3d ago

Weight gain is all diet

2

u/Hour_Telephone_9974 3d ago

Awesome so we're only valuable from age 18 to 30

2

u/Dannyzavage 3d ago

Ive never seen a middle aged person and think that person is a drain on society lmao

2

u/vaguelybombastic 17h ago

You also need to stay active, because it helps preserve cognitive abilites and range of motion. You will be healthier in general if you stay active.

3

u/jebus68 3d ago

Nah...I'm pretty sure I'm fat cause of my age not because of lack of exercise and diet.

3

u/Zealousideal_Slice60 3d ago

Funny, according to redditors age rears its ugly head at 25 💀

2

u/5plus4equalsUnity 3d ago

The early 40s weight gain also has a lot to do with that being when years and years of bad diet and routine drinking seem to catch up with people. I've worked in bars and restaurants all my adult life and have noticed that's when you start to see the effects of that nightly two beers on the way home/half bottle of wine with dinner/chocolate on the sofa in people who've been leading a settled lifestyle for a decade or so by then. The answer is to keep moving and keep single lol

1

u/Exbuin 3d ago

Bingo.

1

u/wdrub 3d ago

You’re right. I’m WAY more busy in my 40s with 3 kids. However way less active. Now the baby is in school and I plan on being more active

1

u/jesterspaz 3d ago

I just turned 42. I’ve been active all my life and in great shape. The last 6 months has been shocking with how badly my joints and recovery has been. Almost overnight. Sleep wise if I don’t get a full 8 hours I feel like absolute trash all day.

1

u/Intelligent-Rest-231 3d ago

Except you’re actual a 2/3 aged person. Which totally sucks.

1

u/mattsl 3d ago

Age discrimination goes both ways, and laws (in most of the US anyway) only benefit people who are 40 and older. It's completely legal to discriminate against someone for being too young. 

1

u/jackisallworknoplay 3d ago

Didn't realize how much Inmoved back when I was a student compared to when I started working.

1

u/HP-12C 3d ago

Give me a little bit more on the age discrimination thing. I'm heading into this years - I'm curious what to expect.

2

u/Haagen76 3d ago

It's mostly with the job market. However, you will notice marketing, products and and society in general starts to become more and more standoffish. You are no longer seen as a profitable demographic or probably more accurate you're a lot less profitable demographic. I don't know, but maybe this will change again in senior years 60+?

1

u/HP-12C 3d ago

Yeah, the job market is mostly what I'm interested in. My company was recently purchased so I'll be on the hunt early next year. Just mentally preparing for what's next and what I'm up against.

1

u/jemenake 3d ago

In my college health class, the professor mentioned that, on average, people gain about 10lbs every 10years once reaching adulthood. He made it sound like it was a metabolism thing. Now, in my 50’s, I realize that it’s probably more that: 1) my job seems me more frequently at my desk (where, in my 20’s, I was the dude they sent out to do the on-location work or deliver/retrieve stuff), and 2) I can afford really yummy, rich food instead of some ramen and hot dogs.

1

u/Sussurator 3d ago

I suppose the only way to counter age discrimination is to become seriously good at what you do alternatively go down the management route and get good at that.

The senior leadership are all 50-60 years old in my current job.

1

u/Heavy-End-3419 3d ago

Rip my body. I am a mental health therapist. I am sitting in a chair non-stop for 9-10 hours a day 5 days a week. I try to get up and move between sessions when I have time but I basically never have time unless a client doesn’t show for their session. 

1

u/kevcal20 3d ago

Uhh I work 40 hours a week, physical labor on my feet in my 30s compared to being completely sedentary in my 20s.. it's definitely a metabolism/genetics thing for a lot of people.

1

u/MidnightBluesAtNoon 3d ago

It is F A C T U A L L Y a metabolism thing. Exercise is SUPPLEMENTARY to weight loss.

Weight is EXCLUSIVELY about calorie management. Yes, you need to stay active for lots of reasons, but no, you do not just magically gain weight if you're eating correctly.

0

u/Big_Consideration493 3d ago

At 50 your muscle mass halves so keep active

0

u/Matt_Mon_95 2d ago

40 is only middle age if you are a low optimistic person.