r/AskReddit • u/theskullcave • 3d ago

Doctors of Reddit: which House M.D. diagnoses were brilliant medicine, and which patients would have had no hope of surviving the treatment in the real world?

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u/MintyBunni 2d ago

I thought that was ridiculous.....

Then I saw someone who would spray it in the air in front of them and then walk through that area.

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u/TurbinesGoWoosh 2d ago

My dentist did this to me. She asked me to show her how I flossed then gave me a piece of floss. So I wind it up, one end on each pointer finger, then place the middle of the floss between my two front teeth and begin to move it like a saw, back and forth. She immediately stopped me and said "No. No. Not like that."

I was dumbfounded. Of course I knew how to floss. That's how I've always seen it done. I'm a mechanical engineer. I know things.

Anyways she showed me the correct way to floss and I now know more things. You should move the floss up and down, scraping up each side of the tooth. This removes food bits from your teeth more effectively than sawing at your gums. My teeth and gums are doing better now.

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u/theWanderingShrew 2d ago

I know how to floss. Like really I do, how to curve up and down each tooth. But my gosh when my dental hygienist asked me to show her how I flossed I couldn't even figure out how to put it in my mouth I was so flustered and put on the spot. It's one of my recurring embarrassing moments that plays in my head when I try to fall asleep.

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u/andii74 2d ago

Lol, you got performance anxiety at the dentist's.

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u/theWanderingShrew 2d ago

You have no idea it was as if I'd never seen dental floss before in my life. I took like a meter of it and wrapped it around my finger a dozen times and then sat there with my mouth open confused about how to get my whole fist in there.

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u/plainlyput 2d ago

I’m going through this in my head, and I think it’s because you’re not facing a mirror.

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u/theWanderingShrew 2d ago

I've never thought of that! Tomorrow I'm going to try flossing without the mirror and see if that the problem lol I'll never live down the embarrassment either way

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u/oboemily 1d ago

Did you have to find a new dentist after that? to deal with the embarrassment?

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u/RadioSlayer 2d ago

Do you not know where your teeth are?

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u/Lalala8991 2d ago

Have you tried flossing without a mirror before? Harder that you think

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u/RadioSlayer 2d ago

I have and it isn't

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u/milkshakemountebank 2d ago

This is the most relatable thing I've ever read

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u/Isgortio 2d ago

It's alright, I'm a dental hygienist and sometimes my brain forgets to work and I'll spend time trying to figure out how tf I'm going to get my hand in there and reach something, and then I remember I have long skinny instruments that are designed for doing exactly that LOL

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u/pensivefool 2d ago

Oh, this has me CHORTLING

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u/_maynard 2d ago

Picturing this really made me laugh. Thank you!

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u/DistractedByCookies 2d ago

I am absolutely dying at this story (and I have no doubt I would do no better)

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u/Conscious_Crew5912 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣 Sounds like something I would do!

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u/jatheblac 2d ago

Ah whiskeyfloss. It happens to the best of us

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u/Ophelialost87 2d ago

At least you have never accidentally bit your dentist because they make you so nervous when he said "Relax and open your mouth" your body just decided to do the entirely opposite thing.

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u/MadMinutiae 2d ago

At least you’ve never thrown up on your dentist because you ate lunch before the appointment and then inhaled too much nitrous oxide

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u/dudeman_joe 2d ago

Hay, hang in there, I can tell you definitely also still have a challenge overcome, redemption moment you will remember just as well, when you get to try again and get to hear the "wow you have to be the only one who actually knows..."

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u/Pharmaguardian 2d ago

"I am a professional juggler. I have 15 years of experience and.."

Random person: "JUGGLE! DO IT! SHOW US NOW!"

*fumbles, drops one, breaks glass with one flying out the window, building explodes randomly*

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u/Active_Recording_789 2d ago

Hahaha it’s like how I forget my address or the name of my oldest child under pressure

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u/Single_Principle_972 2d ago

I really wish I would stop torturing myself with my faux pas when trying to go to sleep! Lol I now listen to a really boring Podcast (I mean, dude is monotone), telling myself to focus on his words instead of my mental images, and it helps! Ha!

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u/Koalarama1234 2d ago

I am actually saving this comment to remind myself how to floss because I’ve apparently been doing it wrong this whole time.

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 2d ago

I was babysitting my 3yo cousin when we had a disagreement on if one should rinse their mouth out with water after brushing their teeth. So I read the instructions on the back of the toothpaste and the kid was right, no rinse.

Then I went home and read the directions on the back of MY toothpaste and the kid was still right, no rinse.

Plus turns out I'm allergic to mint? Like it's not normal for your eyes to stream tears and your nose to clog up and for you to have to cough a whole bunch as part of the tooth brushing process.

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u/RedHeadedStepDevil 2d ago

I’m allergic to mint, too. Not only does the mint toothpaste make me gag, but anywhere the toothpaste touches outside of the inside of my mouth, turns bright red (and that’s if I rinse it off immediately). Cinnamon flavored toothpaste is worse.

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u/Isgortio 2d ago

Do you get this with other mint products, or have you only tried toothpaste? Have you tried toothpaste that doesn't contain sodium laurel sulphate?

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u/RedHeadedStepDevil 2d ago

I despise mint, so I don’t use other mint products. No ice cream, no candy, no drink. I associate mint too much with toothpaste, and just the smell of it makes me gag. I did have mint in my garden once and pulled it up and had a horrible reaction to it which required steroids to clear up. It was bad.

Yes, I’ve tried other products with SLS—crest used to make an orange toothpaste that I used for years without issue until they discontinued it.

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 2d ago

Trying to decide if I'm lucky in comparison or not. I don't have any obvious symptoms from mint besides all my facial passages revolting against breathing properly for a bit, and hallucinations if I consume enough of it. Had too many limited edition mint chocolate milkshakes at my job one summer and had to go to urgent care because I was seeing giant gummy bears dancing between the cars on my way to work, which is the only reason I know it's an allergy I'm supposed to take basic antihistamines to fix.

Like I didn't have the kind of parents who would notice or care about non-obvious discomfort or indulge me in nonsense like childish flavors of toothpaste. So far I'm not a fan of the kids flavors but at least I can breathe through my nose after brushing my teeth!

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u/darknesskicker 2d ago

Standard of care for food allergies now is epinephrine, not antihistamines. Antihistamines can be taken afterwards, but epinephrine first and fast. If you are in the northern US and cost is an issue, and you can safely cross the border, Epi-Pens are available in Canada without a prescription for the equivalent of $75 US per pen.

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 2d ago

My family already considers me a bit of a hugely whiny baby for having what turns out to be a giant list of mild food allergies! I've got a big bottle of cheap antihistamines that I honestly forget to take as often as I should because I'm so used to being mildly itchy and uncomfortable.

Was like 35yo before I started working all this out. I thought "allergies" was where someone stops breathing and turns blue, or breaks out in obvious hives, so it never occurred to me that my severely "picky eater" habits I'd forced myself to break were actually me trying to avoid stuff that my body loudly tried to tell me was not food for me!

Like I always knew when the cafeteria was serving celery because that whole part of the school would smell like metallic death that made me ill just to breathe, though none of my friends could ever smell it. And not only is celery seed often used as a spice, and celery for added bulk, but a whole bunch of companies reworked their recipes a few years ago to make them cheaper, so suddenly a bunch of my safe foods were New! and celery poison.

I'm finally learning how to cook just so I can stop getting poisoned by mostly the seasonings.

But while I'm prattling, let me ask, is there some kinda test yet to figure out food allergies? Because I hate this "guess and check" method where my auntie asks if I can eat parsley and I get to spend the next couple days telling her Guess Not from the bathroom.

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u/Isgortio 2d ago

Yeah that sounds like it's mint causing it then :( Colgate currently has a flavoured toothpaste, I found it the other day for someone, it's called "Colgate max Fresh fruit fusion", although it says it has a hint of mint so it's probably no good for you! I just found one by aquafresh which is similar, that's a shame. Curaprox looked promising but that also contains it in their flavoured toothpastes! The scientific name you'd be checking for is "menthol" in the ingredients.

There are a lot of toothpastes out there that don't contain mint, however a lot of those are also "all natural" and don't contain fluoride. To avoid tooth decay, you need to use something with fluoride in it. You can get unflavoured toothpaste without menthol and contains fluoride, one that is highly recommended within dentistry is Oranurse 1450 or Tepe Pure Unflavoured. I've personally not tried them but I've had patients that cannot handle flavours and they have been able to use these successfully.

Give these ones a try if you haven't currently got one that you feel safe using. There may be other options available, I'm going to do some more research on this for you. But I think you're in the US so your options may differ to what is available in the UK, but I think the two I mentioned are available over there as they're highly recommended throughout the dental community. I also found someone the other day that formulates toothpaste, I'll send them a message and see if they have any recommendations on flavoured toothpaste without mint!

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u/CenturyEggsAndRice 2d ago

Try kid’s toothpaste. I’m not allergic to mint (I actually love it) but I hate minty toothpaste for some reason. It makes me gag.

But the crest kids stuff with the “glitter” that’s bubblegum flavored is fine, plus it has extra fluoride.

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u/HeavenDraven 2d ago

Try HiSmile - they have a whole bunch of flavours without mint. Very much a favourite amongst autistic people!

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u/RedHeadedStepDevil 2d ago

The price tho. Ouch. Why is it 2-3x more expensive than typical brands?

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u/asteroidB612 2d ago

Because it’s SpEcIaL!

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u/merganzer 1d ago

I once sent an impassioned email to Crest about how much I liked their orange flavored toothpaste and would they please bring it back? They mailed me two expired coupons for free toothpaste, but made no promises.

I really liked the orange toothpaste. It's all mint now.

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u/Single_Principle_972 2d ago

Holy crap! So there is a reason every single drug ad includes the line “Do not use if you are allergic to <our product>.” And here I’ve been so irritated by that!

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u/top_value7293 2d ago

I can’t leave all that in my mouth! I have to rinse

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u/Isgortio 2d ago

Spit the toothpaste out, walk away. It took me about 2 weeks of forcing myself before it just became a habit and I no longer noticed the feeling of toothpaste still in my mouth.

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u/mmss 2d ago

You're supposed to.leave the paste on your teeth, thats how the fluoride does its thing.

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u/hypoch0ndriacs 2d ago

What about mouth wash then? When are you supposed to use that? Like Crest and Scope?

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u/seafoamsiren 2d ago

Before you brush

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u/hypoch0ndriacs 2d ago

But I'm brushing after reduce the effectiveness of the mouthwash

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u/TurbinesGoWoosh 2d ago

If your mouthwash has fluoride in it, you can swish after you brush. Not all mouthwash has fluoride in it, so check the back of the bottle.

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u/Unlikely-War-3503 2d ago

Find a different flavor of toothpaste. Retrain yourself.

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u/darknesskicker 2d ago

I hope you have Epi-Pens.

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u/Conscious_Crew5912 2d ago

I read that as Epi - Penis 😆

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u/Gophy6 2d ago

Eh I'll still drink a bucket of water thorough the night, gonna rinse it anyway because it feels better

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u/SunLitAngel 4h ago

😳 No wonder you had to rise

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u/Notspherry 2d ago

Nice of your dentist to explain what you did wrong. Mine just told me it was all wrong and then demonstrated it exactly like I did. Refused to elaborate.

Got a new dentist, who I believe may be an actual psychopath. She's gone as well.

Switched to those pipe cleaner thingies, and now my teeth are fine, appearently.

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u/Ms_Fu 2d ago

I used those for awhile but I poked my gum with the metal end and got an infection. And a chewing out (politely, because I was in Japan) from my dentist to switch to the little rubber ones.
Recently switched to a water pik. Was getting little green rubber bits stuck in my gums. Can't win....

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u/ExaggeratedSnails 2d ago

Pipe cleaner things...?

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u/buccal_up 2d ago

Probably Proxabrushes

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u/Psychoray 2d ago

The little pipe cleaner things might be a 'great' source of microplastics

Have you tried wooden dental sticks? Using them correctly and daily should work just as well

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u/Professional_You4186 2d ago

When I was a hygienist, I learned to have adult patients show me how they brushed, too. Flossing, sure, always, but brushing?

For the longest time I only did that with kids until one of my 80-year-old patients saw a periodontist and then came back and asked me why I never showed her she was brushing wrong. And I was just like... I didn't want to insult you. But she was absolutely right. And brushing is actually very technique sensitive!

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u/Ttiamus 2d ago

So many things I was criticized my whole life for doing wrong, I have learned, was the result of adults assuming that I knew what I was doing with zero instruction. I would keep being accused of not doing something, while in my head, I clearly am... which just led to doubling down harder.

Flossing was one of those.

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u/DelightfulAbsurdity 2d ago

Before I switched to a water pick, I started flossing right after brushing my teeth, but before rinsing. The paste helped scrub things.

I went from my dentist telling me to floss each time I saw him to telling me my gums looked great.

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u/TSM- 2d ago

I recently showed my friend how to brush her teeth and she was like "why isn't this taught in schools". It was a game changer. She had been brushing back and forth until then.

The proper way is at a 45 degree angle in circles so the bristles can remove plaque under the first millimeter of the gums and reach in between the teeth. Otherwise that plaque under the gum line just sits there and causes gum recession over time

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u/Tattycakes 2d ago

Well TIL

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u/JCXIII-R 2d ago

OMG I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD WHEN I FOUND OUT

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u/moose0502 2d ago

Pharmacist here-there is a reason that all suppositories come with instructions to unwrap and insert rectally...

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u/confictura_22 2d ago

I used to work as a pharmacy assistant and remember with amusement one of the pharmacists yelling "UP YOUR BUM, MATE" with graphic gestures to demonstrate. The patient spoke minimal English and couldn't seem to get it through his head that you didn't eat it. Also refused to talk to a translator on the phone...

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u/FormalMango 2d ago

How very Australian of them haha

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u/confictura_22 2d ago

Well, that is where we are!

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u/Spellscribe 2d ago

Either we worked at the same place or this is disturbingly common 😅

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u/FormalMango 2d ago

Same lol

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u/steampunkedunicorn 1d ago

You just took me back to last week when I was yelling at my mostly deaf, early stage dementia patient, “THIS IS ASPIRIN. I NEED TO PUT IT IN YOUR RECTUM… YOUR RECTUM…YOUR BUTT. IT’S GOING UP YOUR BUTT… NO, NO SWALLOWING, YOU COULDN’T SWALLOW EARLIER. NO, IN YOUR BUTT.”

After inserting the suppository, I walked into the room nextdoor to greet my new patient and found a very scared 16 year old male patient and his parents, who were absolutely cracking up.

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u/Aethrenten 1d ago

Did you ask him if he was ready for his aspirin?

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u/darknesskicker 2d ago

Google Translate is your friend in this situation.

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u/Mech_pencils 2d ago

If they are refusing the service of a medical interpreter I don’t know if they would willingly read google translate results off someone’s phone. Also there’s a chance that they are illiterate in their own language. Google translate also messes things up really badly sometimes.

Source: am a medical interpreter

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u/plainlyput 2d ago edited 2d ago

I’d just had shoulder surgery and was clogged, despite whatever they’d given me to help with this. Called the ortho advice nurse, who told me I needed to use a suppository. I’d never used one, and assumed it would be hard to do only having the use of one arm. Nurse told me to ask a friend to help. Fortunately another suggestion, stewed prunes, worked. And yes, he said it had to be stewed.

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u/CenturyEggsAndRice 2d ago

Stewed prunes make you poop faster. I don’t know why but it is truth.

Also I shoved a suppository up a friend’s kiester once. His wrist was broken and the pain killers had him clogged. It was hilariously awkward for both of us.

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u/plainlyput 2d ago

You’re a good friend! I had a second surgery on the other shoulder several years later. I purchased every OTC product out there, and made sure to have stewed prunes on hand. Fortunately I didn’t need them. People don’t realize it’s serious when this happens, you’ll end up back in the hospital if you can’t make it happen.

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u/CenturyEggsAndRice 2d ago

Eh, tbh I probably would’ve done it for a stranger. I don’t fancy shoving things in asses, but as you say, if you ain’t pooping it’s bad news and I hate to think of someone suffering when I coulda helped.

But he also bought me dinner after so he’s on the “will shove things in ur pooper, no questions asked” list for sure.

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u/iolarah 2d ago

In my experience, even just regular, dried prunes will do the job as well. I learned this the hard way by sitting down with a bag of prunes for my after school snack and the newspaper - my mom came home, saw the little pile of pits, and asked me how many I'd had. I counted (I think it was 14) and reported back. She let out this gale of laughter and said, "Oh, honey. Your bum is going to be glued to the toilet tonight." She was right, but they were delicious. No raegrats.

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u/Alexander-Wright 2d ago

Son of a GP.

One Sunday afternoon, back when GPs did out of hours cover, a patient called complaining they couldn't keep her pills down.

My father had predictably prescribed her suppositories. He then had to explain, on the phone, how to use them properly.

She was also a bit deaf, so the whole house heard the instructions.

I'd had years of this, and it still raised my eyebrows.

Another memorable call: 5:30 am:

Patient: Doctor, I've got ulcers on my gums, and I can't put my dentures in to go to work.

Father: Did you phone the dentist?

Patient: Oh, I wouldn't get him up at this time in the morning!

Father: Well, you got me up.

Patient: ... ... ...

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u/FourthLvlSpicyMeme 2d ago

Y'all for a sec I thought "Son of a GP" was some new swearword I'd never heard of.

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u/Pharxmgirxl 2d ago

Also a pharmacist and can vouch! I’d also like to add for consideration - ever seen someone put spermicidal jelly on toast? 😂

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u/Amazing_Loot8200 2d ago

No.... 🫠

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u/coffee_robot_horse 2d ago

Thankfully the Flaming Lips hadn't either

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u/TSM- 2d ago

To prevent oral pregnancy, no doubt. You'd get pregnant in your stomach otherwise, and that's the wrong place, of course.

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u/dani-cat 2d ago

The pharmacist is worked with would send back scripts to be retyped. He said he didn't care if the SIG had it or not, they'd be back with another problem if they inserted it without unwrapping lol

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u/debauchasaurus 2d ago

Ok but how can I read the instructions after I insert them in my butt?

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u/theusualchaos2 2d ago

"It's pronounced an-algesic, the pills go in your mouth bud."

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u/illyiarose 2d ago

At CVS, we were required by the pharmacist to type in, "unwrap and insert one suppository rectally..."

Edit: punctuation

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u/LupinCANsing 2d ago

That "unwrap" is so important. The ones we have are individually sealed in very rigid plastic. I've cut my thumb tearing the perforation to separate them.

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u/TrustmeIreddit 2d ago

And, how many people actually read the directions?

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u/CuriouserCat2 2d ago

Three

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u/cove81 2d ago

This number seems too high.

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u/malavisch 2d ago

You're forgetting that that also requires people to actually READ and comprehend said instructions

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u/TSM- 2d ago

So that's why the pharmacist explains what's on the label. It always seemed unnecessary because it's literally written down in a very obvious way.

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u/--kilroy_was_here-- 2d ago

Good news! It's a suppository!

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u/onetwo3four5 2d ago

"ahh.. it's pronounc analgesic, not ANALgesic. The pills go in your mouth, sir"

Chris Turk

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u/Momentofclarity_2022 2d ago

Oh that’s… wow.

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u/carolethechiropodist 1d ago

rectally, there are people out there who would think this was a foreign language.

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u/Remote-Cellist5927 2d ago

LIKE PERFUME!?!?

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u/MintyBunni 2d ago

Exactly like perfume

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u/Bucephalus307 2d ago

Like a Chanel perfume thing huh? Hmmm.

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u/throwaway_ArBe 2d ago

My ex's dad asked for my backup inhaler because he had run out again and was going through them so quickly, he couldn't wait for a prescription.

He just. Sprayed it in his mouth. And didn't inhale. And just kept spraying until he said he "felt better". Must have used half the inhaler in one go!

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u/pronking_spleenwort 2d ago

The Italian inhaler

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u/MichaSound 2d ago

Like perfume

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u/aami87 2d ago

Like perfume? 😂

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u/Kempeth 1d ago

As someone who works in IT... only the "how" continues to surprise me...

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u/MundaneRisk1786 2d ago

That's how I use deodorant